A Version of the Truth

by B P Walter

  ‘Welcome to Rupert’s,’ said Ally, waving her arms around. ‘I love this place. We practically spent our teen years here, didn’t we, Ernest?’

  ‘Hmmm,’ he said, running his fingers along the top of a small chair as if inspecting it for dust. ‘Well, it was all part of your grand seduction, wasn’t it, sis?’

  Ally tutted and continued her march through the house into the corridor. The abundance of wood panelling and warm, slightly too low lighting threw shadows into the corners and gave the house an ominous feel.

  ‘Where is everyone?’ I asked Ernest, looking around. I’d expected the party to be in full swing when we arrived, but the place seemed deserted.

  ‘Oh, we’re early. We always get here early,’ he said, sounding a little bored. ‘My sister likes to feel like she’s part of the furniture when people arrive. As if she’s too important to walk in at the right time with the ordinary guests. She prefers people to think her presence itself gives the party permission to start.’

  I laughed and heard Ally’s voice echoing in front of me. ‘I heard that.’

  Wondering why the much-talked-of Rupert was failing to materialise while his unlocked home was invaded, I followed the two of them down the corridor and deeper into the main part of the house. Eventually, after what felt like several kilometres, we turned to go down a narrow, winding, stone staircase that appeared to lead underground. The further down we got, I could feel the temperature rising and the smell of chlorine hit me.

  ‘Of course he’d be swimming,’ I heard Ally say, as if irritated by the predictability of her friend, though I was sure I picked up a touch of something else in her voice. Excitement, perhaps?

  The swimming pool itself was, like the house, large and impressive, though better lit, with spotlights shining down onto the water’s surface, causing a shimmering effect to dance off the walls. It was a moment before I realised there was someone in the pool, swimming beneath its surface, seemingly gliding along its tiled floor with a swift effortlessness.

  A sudden burst of laughter made me look round. Along the side of the pool, hidden from view of the entrance, was a row of sunloungers, and seated on two of them were James and a beautiful girl with dark, red-brown hair. I felt a cold, creeping sensation spread down my shoulders as I realised who she was: Julianne, the girl from outside the bookstore. The girl he had left me and his friends to talk to, flirt with, and, if Ally’s words were to be taken seriously, fall in love with. I’d been thankful I hadn’t needed to speak to her before today, building her up into some conniving, manipulative monster in my head. I knew I was being ridiculous, but I couldn’t help feeling an overwhelming sense of resentment towards her, like she had infiltrated a group even I hadn’t properly managed to slot into.

  ‘Oh blast, you got here first,’ said Ally, walking over to them.

  ‘We’ve been here an hour,’ said James, lying back on his lounger. ‘Rupert’s been giving us a bit of a show. The great man-dolphin.’ He nodded towards the pool and I heard the sound of disturbed water. A large human mass had just pulled itself out of the pool, like a dripping heap of muscle. The body stood up and, to my horror, I realised it was completely naked. The six-foot, toned and astonishingly attractive figure of Rupert Ashton stood before us, grinning. I tried to keep my eyes on his face and away from his groin, but was uncomfortably aware of the outline of his penis at the edges of my peripheral vision. He had a sharp, harsh jawline, not dissimilar to Ernest’s, though with more of a boyish friendliness to him. His hair looked dark, though with the promise of a lighter, naturally highlighted tinge when it wasn’t soaking wet.

  ‘Oh my God.’ Laughter, an American accent. Julianne was shielding her eyes in mock embarrassment.

  ‘Good grief, put some clothes on!’ exclaimed Ally, though she was grinning widely. ‘You’re going to shock Holly and Julianne.’

  ‘Oh, I’m already shocked!’ More American laughter. I’d never really thought about it before, but I decided now that the accent was my least favourite in all the world. It sounded fake, contrived, like someone was imitating a trashy imported sitcom.

  ‘Why do you suppose I wouldn’t be?’ said James from behind me.

  ‘Because you have a penis,’ Ally threw back matter-of-factly.

  The smiling figure of Rupert was still standing there, the dripping water causing a small puddle to form by his large feet.

  ‘Hi,’ he said, putting his hands on his hips and looking squarely at me. ‘I presume you’re Holly.’

  I felt myself blushing. This beautiful naked man saying my name and looking me straight in the eye was causing a strange sensation within me I wasn’t sure I wanted to explore right at that moment.

  ‘Put some clothes on,’ Ernest said, taking his seat on one of the free sunloungers.

  Rupert, still looking at me, shrugged and turned around, offering me a view of his broad shoulders, slim waist and perfectly formed behind. I looked at the ground until he got a bit further away then stole a glimpse at him as he towelled his body and stepped into some bright-yellow Y-fronts. He made his way back over to us, still using the towel to dry his hair.

  ‘People should start arriving in about half an hour,’ he said.

  ‘Super.’ Ally looked over at me. ‘So, what do you think of the strapping young Rupert Ashton?’

  I was instantly mortified by her question. The shock must have shown in my face because Ernest cut in. ‘Maybe we should all just go up to the lounge,’ he said, winking at me. ‘Give us a chance to get some drinks and let Rupert get, er, properly attired.’

  Rupert laughed and raised his eyebrows at me slightly, as if knowing I’d just been rescued from the awkwardness of Ally’s question, then went back to putting on the rest of his clothes.

  Within an hour, the house was packed with people and there was a vague, monotonous beat coming from an invisible stereo sound system. I was impressed by how quickly the house, which had felt like a gloomy and slightly menacing mansion on our arrival, had suddenly transformed itself into a lively hub of young people dancing, laughing and talking loudly to one another. I stayed mostly in the corner with James and Julianne, trying not to look at her and aware I was becoming a third wheel. She didn’t seem sure what to say to me, so we both let James speak, with him musing about how his parents were pressuring him to follow them into politics and how Ernest was keen for him to do the same. ‘You’ve gotta do what makes you happy,’ Julianne said, giving James’s leg a little squeeze.

  I couldn’t help but give a little sniff of disbelief. If she really was interested in becoming serious with him, I suspected she’d rather like the idea of being the wife of an MP. Ally had mentioned how he was regularly buying her gifts – expensive gifts – and I imagined there’d be more of that sort of thing if James followed his father into Whitehall. She’d go to posh dinners, have expensive holidays, do a lot of charity volunteering. I was so busy mapping out a fantasy life for them both that I didn’t realise Julianne had said something to me. ‘What are your plans after graduation, Holly?’

  I stared into the distance trying to piece together her words. ‘Oh, sorry, miles away,’ I said, aware it probably sounded rude. I had no idea how long she’d been speaking for. ‘I think I’d like to do something to do with … to do with books …’

  I cringed inwardly to myself at the sound of this and saw Julianne’s eyebrows rise slightly, but she covered it well. ‘I suppose that makes sense. Considering you’re an English major.’

  James laughed. ‘Major? This isn’t Harvard.’

  She looked embarrassed. ‘Oh, of course, sorry.’ An awkward laugh followed.

  I sat there, wondering if Julianne’s question to me was still on the table for expanding upon in more detail, then decided to take my chance to bail out. ‘I’m going to find the loo,’ I said, glancing around as if a sign would suddenly point me in the right direction.

  ‘Down the main hallway, turn left. Best knock first. People forget to lock it if they’re drunk,’ James
called after me, smirking slightly, sounding a lot more like Ernest than his usually quiet self.

  I nodded at him and walked away. I didn’t need to visit the bathroom but wandered in the direction he described regardless. There wasn’t anybody inside, thankfully, and I locked the door behind me and sat down on the seat of the toilet, leaning against the cool white wall. I was in a funny mood and couldn’t quite work out if I was glad I’d come or if I should have stayed back in my room. I could be putting the finishing touches to an essay plan right now. Or making myself some hot chocolate and settling down with a long Victorian novel or mystery thriller.

  After a few moments I walked over to the sink and splashed some water on my face, feeling the silky coolness run down my cheeks. I decided I’d go and find where Ally had got to. One of the problems with being out in the middle of nowhere was that leaving suddenly became a lot more difficult. I’d been to a number of gatherings and parties since term began as a kind of token gesture – here I am, being sociable – only to slip away after barely an hour and walk back to my room, my books and bed calling me. But here I would have to order a taxi, which would be expensive and conspicuous, or wait until the car Ernest had arranged to drop us off came back, and when that would be I couldn’t be sure. Annoyed at myself for not being prepared with a better escape plan, I exited the bathroom and walked back down the hallway to the lounge where I’d left James and Julianne. They were gone. I tutted under my breath and wandered through the rest of the downstairs rooms, searching for someone I knew. Ally was nowhere to be found – I couldn’t even hear her laughter. Eventually I found myself at the top of the stairwell that led down to the basement and the underground swimming pool. I could hear the noise of voices – it sounded as if intoxicated people were splashing about in the water. I was about to go down the steps when I collided with something large, moving and firm.

  ‘Oh God, are you okay?’

  For a second I thought it was James – the voice was similar – but looking up I found it to be Rupert, dark-blond hair swept back over his forehead and wearing a plain black t-shirt that clung to his muscular frame. I realised I’d clutched hold of it to stop myself falling and his hands had gone out automatically to steady me.

  ‘Yes,’ I said, a little breathlessly. ‘I’m sorry, I was just …’

  ‘Looking for your friends.’ He didn’t say it as a question, but looked at me knowingly. He seemed to be aware how out of my depth I felt here.

  I nodded and he smiled. It was a warm smile, unlike Ernest’s smirks or James’s cagey, secretive grin.

  ‘Forgive me, Holly, I may be speaking out of turn here, but you seem a little all-at-sea. Is there anything I can get you? You’ve helped yourself to a drink, haven’t you?’

  I nodded again, struggling to put together words that might form a sentence.

  ‘Good. Well, if you need anything, just find me. I’ll be around. And if I’m not in the house, I advise you to try the pool shed.’

  ‘There’s a pool shed?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes. By the other pool. The outside one. It’s covered for the winter. Round the back of the house. Knock three times if it sounds like I’m inside and have company, if you get my drift. But honestly, I mean it. I can have one of my drivers take you home if you need a get-out-of-jail-free card.’ He winked at me, then moved out of the way so I could pass him and continue down the steps. ‘Oh, and Holly – you’re welcome to go down there …’ He nodded to the stairwell that led to the indoor swimming pool. ‘But be warned … people are getting friendly.’

  I nodded again, feeling a little confused, then realised what he meant. ‘Oh,’ I said.

  ‘Oh indeed. Take care.’ He disappeared out of sight. I stared down at the turquoise-blue light that was filling the stairwell and listened to the noises of merriment. I should have asked where the others were, I thought to myself, but then realised he surely would have shared this information, had he known it, when he guessed what I was up to. I decided to press on and take the last remaining steps in my stride, and walked with purpose into the echoing pool room. People were splashing about in the water, many holding plastic cups of something or other, shrieking and laughing. A group of boys had found a ball somewhere and were playing a vague form of catch with each other, laughing whenever it hit a group of chatting girls at the side. Most of the boys, from what I could make out, seemed to have stripped down to their underpants, and a few of them were naked, but the girls seemed to be wearing stylish little bikinis, presumably brought with them in their clutches or handbags in preparation for this very activity. Over on the sunloungers, meanwhile, Rupert’s warnings were proving to be spot-on. They seemed to have been commandeered by couples in varying states of undress; some of them were kissing enthusiastically.

  I turned away and started to walk around the edge of the pool in the opposite direction from the copulating couples. Around the other side there was another door, leading up a small flight of steps and out into the garden. The cold night air hit me in a rush as I left the chemical stuffiness of the pool and walked out onto the pavement. This side of the garden was dark, but there seemed to be Christmas lights hung up in the trees nearby, so I spent a good twenty minutes walking amidst them, staring up at their tasteful golden glow. I tried not to let them, but I couldn’t stop thoughts of my mother and Christmas coming into my mind – how she had so casually said they were abandoning me and seemed to think I wouldn’t care. Or hoped I wouldn’t care. Though the air was cold, it felt as if the Christmas lights were warm on my skin, making me feel better. Eventually, after walking around to the far side of the property, making sure to follow the lights and not stray too far into the darker areas, the thin woodland, I discovered the outdoor swimming pool. It was even larger than the inside one, though there were no sunloungers in sight and the water’s surface was covered, with leaves speckling the white material. A little way beyond the pool I could see a little collection of wooden huts, which I presumed were used for changing.

  Remembering what Rupert had said, I found myself drawn towards the huts. I could talk to him and perhaps ask if he could call me a taxi discreetly. Arriving at the first of the huts, I peered through the doors tentatively. Though Rupert hadn’t been clear as to why he might be hanging out in one of these cold-looking buildings rather than the main house, I guessed it was either for smoking pot or more of the shenanigans I’d seen at the side of the pool inside. The first one, however, seemed to be empty. I walked to the second of the three, situated a few metres along to the left of it, though the door was round the other side. This time I could certainly hear something, though couldn’t quite make out whether it was male or female. Then I heard it. Low and tight and breathless.

  ‘Fuck. Oh God …’

  It was a man’s voice. And unless I was mistaken, he sounded like he was moaning in pleasure.

  ‘Ahh. Slower, slower. That’s it.’

  On the last of the two words I felt myself go cold. I knew that voice. I took two steps forward so I was nearly in front of the French windows. What I saw confirmed my suspicions. James was inside, seated in a chair, with his head leaning back. One arm was raised behind his head and the other was resting on the shape bobbing up and down around his crotch. He had his trousers and underwear around his ankles and the girl had her dress undone at the back. I knew even before I saw her red-brown hair that it was her. Julianne.

  I felt the anger rising in me like bile; words I’d never thought, never felt, never even thought of employing pushing themselves to the front of my mind as if fighting to be spoken out loud. I wanted to go in there and pull her off him. I wanted to drag her out of the shed onto the concrete. I wanted to shame her. Call her out for her actions. But a niggling voice inside my head was saying something different. She’s just doing what everyone else here is doing. You’re the one who’s outside in the cold wandering around on your own. You’re the one who’s unwanted, unloved, uninvolved and on the outskirts of even her own pathetic excuse for a friendship circ
le. For a second, I thought I really was going to burst in and surprise them in the act; then I glanced up and almost screamed. James had lifted his head so he was facing upright and was staring at me, straight in the eyes. I wanted to move, run away and leave this horrible place, but I couldn’t. He was smiling. Looking me in the eye and smiling, and Julianne, with her back to me, was totally oblivious to my presence. He opened his mouth in a silent moan, letting the smile spread at the corners. His breathing was getting shallower and when he climaxed he kept his eyes on me the whole time. The grin dancing around his lips never left his face. Then he winked at me.

  In a rush, the real world seemed to return around me and I stepped backwards, away from the glass door, tripping over as I tried to turn around at the same time. I landed with a thud on the pavement floor, wishing I’d managed to fall into the nearby grass. My left elbow scraped the rough surface with speed and I felt the skin tear.

  ‘What was that?’ I heard Julianne’s smooth voice from inside the shed.

  ‘Probably a fox,’ James replied, and I heard her laugh, as if the response was somehow funny.

  I pulled myself up, wincing slightly as my elbow straightened out, then stumbled away from the shed towards the last of the three, situated a little distance from the other two, closer to where the line of trees joined the swimming-pool area. Not bothering to check to see if it was occupied, I clattered through the French windows and dropped to my knees, the tears arriving instantly.

  ‘Holy Christ!’ someone exclaimed.

  I looked up and suddenly a light came on out of nowhere, causing my vision to swim. I wiped my eyes and, blinking, made out the shape of a man, hand on the switch of one of the tall standing lamps.