nupta senatori comitata est Eppia ludum
ad Pharon et Nilum famosaque moenia Lagi
prodigia et mores urbis damnante Canopo.
inmemor illa domus et coniugis atque sororis 85
nil patriae indulsit, plorantisque improba natos
utque magis stupeas ludos Paridemque reliquit.
sed quamquam in magnis opibus plumaque paterna
et segmentatis dormisset paruula cunis,
contempsit pelagus; famam contempserat olim, 90
cuius apud molles minima est iactura cathedras.
Tyrrhenos igitur fluctus lateque sonantem
pertulit Ionium constanti pectore, quamuis
mutandum totiens esset mare. iusta pericli
si ratio est et honesta, timent pauidoque gelantur 95
pectore nec tremulis possunt insistere plantis:
fortem animum praestant rebus quas turpiter audent.
si iubeat coniunx, durum est conscendere nauem,
tunc sentina grauis, tunc summus uertitur aer:
quae moechum sequitur, stomacho ualet. illa maritum 100
conuomit, haec inter nautas et prandet et errat
per puppem et duros gaudet tractare rudentis.
[82] When Eppia, the senator’s wife, ran off with a gladiator to Pharos and the Nile and the ill-famed city of Lagos, Canopus itself cried shame upon the monstrous morals of our town. Forgetful of home, of husband and of sister, without thought of her country, she shamelessly abandoned her weeping children; and — more marvellous still — deserted Paris and the games. Though born in wealth, though as a babe she had slept in a bedizened cradle on the paternal down, she made light of the sea, just as she had long made light of her good name — a loss but little accounted of among our soft litter-riding dames. And so with stout heart she endured the tossing and the roaring of the Tyrrhenian and Ionian Seas, and all the many seas she had to cross. For when danger comes in a right and honourable way, a woman’s heart grows chill with fear; she cannot stand upon her trembling feet: but if she be doing a bold, bad thing, her courage fails not. For a husband to order his wife on board ship is cruelty: the bilge-water then sickens her, the heavens go round and round. But if she is running away with a lover, she feels no qualms: then she vomits over her husband; now she messes with the sailors, she roams about the deck, and delights in hauling at the hard ropes.
qua tamen exarsit forma, qua capta iuuenta
Eppia? quid uidit propter quod ludia dici
sustinuit? nam Sergiolus iam radere guttur 105
coeperat et secto requiem sperare lacerto;
praeterea multa in facie deformia, sicut
attritus galea mediisque in naribus ingens
gibbus et acre malum semper stillantis ocelli.
sed gladiator erat. facit hoc illos Hyacinthos; 110
hoc pueris patriaeque, hoc praetulit illa sorori
atque uiro. ferrum est quod amant. hic Sergius idem
accepta rude coepisset Veiiento uideri.
[103] And what were the youthful charms which captivated Eppia? What did she see in him to allow herself to be called “a she-Gladiator”? Her dear Sergius had already begun to shave; a wounded arm gave promise of a discharge, and there were sundry deformities in his face: a scar caused by the helmet, a huge wen upon his nose, a nasty humour always trickling from his eye. But then he was a gladiator! It is this that transforms these fellows into Hyacinths! it was this that she preferred to children and to country, to sister and to husband. What these women love is the sword: had this same Sergius received his discharge, he would have been no better than a Veiento.
quid priuata domus, quid fecerit Eppia, curas?
respice riuales diuorum, Claudius audi 115
quae tulerit. dormire uirum cum senserat uxor,
sumere nocturnos meretrix Augusta cucullos 118
ausa Palatino et tegetem praeferre cubili 117
linquebat comite ancilla non amplius una. 119
sed nigrum flauo crinem abscondente galero
intrauit calidum ueteri centone lupanar
et cellam uacuam atque suam; tunc nuda papillis
prostitit auratis titulum mentita Lyciscae
ostenditque tuum, generose Britannice, uentrem.
excepit blanda intrantis atque aera poposcit. 125
[continueque iacens cunctorum absorbuit ictus.]
mox lenone suas iam dimittente puellas
tristis abit, et quod potuit tamen ultima cellam
clausit, adhuc ardens rigidae tentigine uoluae,
et lassata uiris necdum satiata recessit, 130
obscurisque genis turpis fumoque lucernae
foeda lupanaris tulit ad puluinar odorem.
[114] Do the concerns of a private household and the doings of Eppia affect you? Then look at those who rival the Gods, and hear what Claudius endured. As soon as his wife perceived that her husband was asleep, this august harlot was shameless enough to prefer a common mat to the imperial couch. Assuming a night-cowl, and attended by a single maid, she issued forth; then, having concealed her raven locks under a light-coloured peruque, she took her place in a brothel reeking with long-used coverlets. Entering an empty cell reserved for herself, she there took her stand, under the feigned name of Lycisca, her nipples bare and gilded, and exposed to view the womb that bore thee, O nobly-born Britannicus! Here she graciously received all comers, asking from each his fee; and when at length the keeper dismissed the rest, she remained to the very last before closing her cell, and with passion still raging hot within her went sorrowfully away. Then exhausted but unsatisfied, with soiled cheeks, and begrimed with the smoke of lamps, she took back to the imperial pillow all the odours of the stews.
hippomanes carmenque loquar coctumque uenenum
priuignoque datum? faciunt grauiora coactae
imperio sexus minimumque libidine peccant. 135
[133] Why tell of love potions and incantations, of poisons brewed and administered to stepsons, or of the grosser crimes to which women are driven by the imperious power of sex? Their sins of lust are the least of all their sins.
‘optima sed quare Caesennia teste marito?’
bis quingena dedit. tanti uocat ille pudicam,
nec pharetris Veneris macer est aut lampade feruet:
inde faces ardent, ueniunt a dote sagittae.
libertas emitur. coram licet innuat atque 140
rescribat: uidua est, locuples quae nupsit auaro.
[136] But tell me why is Censennia, on her husband’s testimony, the best of wives? “She brought him a million sesterces; that is the price at which he calls her chaste. He has not pined under the darts of Venus; he was never burnt by her torch. It was the dowry that lighted his fires, the dowry that shot those arrows! That dowry bought liberty for her: she may make what signals, and write what love letters she pleases, before her husband’s face; the rich woman who marries a money-loving husband is as good as unmarried.
‘cur desiderio Bibulae Sertorius ardet?’
si uerum excutias, facies non uxor amatur.
tres rugae subeant et se cutis arida laxet,
fiant obscuri dentes oculique minores, 145
‘collige sarcinulas’ dicet libertus ‘et exi.
iam grauis es nobis et saepe emungeris. exi
ocius et propera. sicco uenit altera naso.’
interea calet et regnat poscitque maritum
pastores et ouem Canusinam ulmosque Falernas — 150
quantulum in hoc! — pueros omnes, ergastula tota,
quodque domi non est, sed habet uicinus, ematur.
mense quidem brumae, cum iam mercator Iason
clausus et armatis obstat casa candida nautis,
grandia tolluntur crystallina, maxima rursus 155
murrina, deinde adamas notissimus et Beronices
in digito factus pretiosior. hunc dedit olim
barbarus incestae, dedit hunc Agrippa sorori,
obseruant ubi festa mero pede sabbata reges
et uetus indulget senibus clementia porcis. 160
[142] “Why does Sartorius burn with love for Bibula?” If you shake out the truth, it is the face that he loves, not the woman. Let three wrinkles make their appearance; let her skin become dry and flabby; let her teeth turn black, and her eyes lose their lustre: then will his freedman give her the order, “Pack up your traps and be off! you’ve become a nuisance; you are for ever blowing your nose; be off, and quick about it! There’s another wife coming who will not sniffle.” But till that day comes, the lady rules the roast, asking her husband for shepherds and Canusian sheep, and elms for her Falernian vines. But that’s a mere nothing: she asks for all his slave-boys, in town and country; everything that her neighbour possesses, and that she does not possess, must be bought. Then in the winter time, when the merchant Jason is shut out from view, and his armed sailors are blocked out by the white booths, she will carry off huge crystal vases, vases bigger still of agate, and finally a diamond of great renown, made precious by the finger of Berenice. It was given as a present long ago by the barbarian Agrippa to his incestuous sister, in that country where kings celebrate festal sabbaths with bare feet, and where a long-established clemency suffers pigs to attain old age.
‘nullane de tantis gregibus tibi digna uidetur?’
sit formonsa, decens, diues, fecunda, uetustos
porticibus disponat auos, intactior omni
crinibus effusis bellum dirimente Sabina,
rara auis in terris nigroque simillima cycno, 165
quis feret uxorem cui constant omnia? malo,
malo Venustinam quam te, Cornelia, mater
Gracchorum, si cum magnis uirtutibus adfers
grande supercilium et numeras in dote triumphos.
tolle tuum, precor, Hannibalem uictumque Syphacem 170
in castris et cum tota Carthagine migra.
[161] “Do you say no worthy wife is to be found among all these crowds?” Well, let her be handsome, charming, rich and fertile; let her have ancient ancestors ranged about her halls; let her be more chaste than the dishevelled Sabine maidens who stopped the war — a prodigy as rare upon the earth as a black swan! yet who could endure a wife that possessed all perfections? I would rather have a Venusian wench for my wife than you, O Cornelia, mother of the Gracchi, if, with all your virtues, you bring me a haughty brow, and reckon up Triumphs as part of your marriage portion. Away with your Hannibal, I beseech you! Away with Syphax overpowered in his camp! Take yourself off, Carthage and all!
‘parce, precor, Paean, et tu, dea, pone sagittas;
nil pueri faciunt, ipsam configite matrem’
Amphion clamat, sed Paean contrahit arcum.
extulit ergo greges natorum ipsumque parentem, 175
dum sibi nobilior Latonae gente uidetur
atque eadem scrofa Niobe fecundior alba.
quae tanti grauitas, quae forma, ut se tibi semper
inputet? huius enim rari summique uoluptas
nulla boni, quotiens animo corrupta superbo 180
plus aloes quam mellis habet. quis deditus autem
usque adeo est, ut non illam quam laudibus effert
horreat inque diem septenis oderit horis?
[172] “Be merciful, I pray, O Apollo! and thou, O goddess, lay down thine arrows. These babes have done naught: shoot down their mother!” Thus prayed Amphion; but Apollo bends his bow, and Niobe led forth to the grave her troop of sons, and their father to boot, because she deemed herself of nobler race than Latona, and more prolific than the white sow of Alba. For is any dignity in a wife, any beauty, worth the cost, if she is for ever reckoning up her merits against you? These high and transcendent qualities lose all their charm when spoilt by a pride that savours more of aloes than of honey. And who was ever so enamoured as not to shrink from the woman whom he praises to the skies, and to hate her for seven hours out of every twelve?
quaedam parua quidem, sed non toleranda maritis.
nam quid rancidius quam quod se non putat ulla 185
formosam nisi quae de Tusca Graecula facta est,
de Sulmonensi mera Cecropis? omnia Graece:
[cum sit turpe magis nostris nescire Latine.]
hoc sermone pauent, hoc iram, gaudia, curas,
hoc cuncta effundunt animi secreta. quid ultra? 190
concumbunt Graece. dones tamen ista puellis,
tune etiam, quam sextus et octogensimus annus
pulsat, adhuc Graece? non est hic sermo pudicus
in uetula. quotiens lasciuum interuenit illud
zoe kai psyche, modo sub lodice relictis 195
uteris in turba. quod enim non excitet inguen
uox blanda et nequam? digitos habet. ut tamen omnes
subsidant pinnae, dicas haec mollius Haemo
quamquam et Carpophoro, facies tua conputat annos.
[184] Some small faults are intolerable to husbands. What can be more offensive than this, that no woman believes in her own beauty unless she has converted herself from a Tuscan into a Greekling, or from a maid of Sulmo into a maid of Athens? They talk nothing but Greek, though it is a greater shame for our people to be ignorant of Latin. Their fears and their wrath, their joys and their troubles — all the secrets of their souls — are poured forth in Greek; their very loves are carried on in Greek fashion. All this might be pardoned in a girl; but will you, who are hard on your eighty-sixth year, still talk in Greek? That tongue is not decent in an old woman’s mouth. When you come out with the wanton words ¶Ét º±v ÈÅÇu, you are using in public the language of the bed-chamber. Caressing and naughty words like these incite to love; but though you say them more tenderly than a Haemus or a Carpophorus, they will cause no fluttering of the heart — your years are counted up upon your face!
si tibi legitimis pactam iunctamque tabellis 200
non es amaturus, ducendi nulla uidetur
causa, nec est quare cenam et mustacea perdas
labente officio crudis donanda, nec illud
quod prima pro nocte datur, cum lance beata
Dacicus et scripto radiat Germanicus auro. 205
si tibi simplicitas uxoria, deditus uni
est animus, summitte caput ceruice parata
ferre iugum. nullam inuenies quae parcat amanti.
ardeat ipsa licet, tormentis gaudet amantis
et spoliis; igitur longe minus utilis illi 210
uxor, quisquis erit bonus optandusque maritus.
nil umquam inuita donabis coniuge, uendes
hac obstante nihil, nihil haec si nolet emetur.
haec dabit affectus: ille excludatur amicus
iam senior, cuius barbam tua ianua uidit. 215
testandi cum sit lenonibus atque lanistis
libertas et iuris idem contingat harenae,
non unus tibi riualis dictabitur heres.
[200] If you are not to love the woman betrothed and united to you in due form, what reason have you for marrying? Why waste the supper, and the wedding cakes to be given to the well-filled guests when the company is slipping away — to say nothing of the first night’s gift of a salver rich with glittering gold inscribed with Dacian or Germanic victories? If you are honestly uxorious, and devoted to one woman, then bow your head and submit your neck to the yoke. Never will you find a woman who spares the man who loves her; for though she be herself aflame, she delights to torment and plunder him. So the better the man, the more desirable he be as a husband, the less good will he get out of his wife. No present will you ever make if your wife forbids; nothing will you ever sell if she objects; nothing will you buy without her consent. She will arrange your friendships for you; she will turn your now-aged friend from the door which saw the beginnings of his beard. Panders and trainers can make their wills as they please, as also can the gentlemen of the arena; but you will have to write down among your heirs more than one rival of your own.
‘pone crucem seruo.’ ‘meruit quo crimine seruus
supplicium? quis testis adest? quis detulit? audi; 220<
br />
nulla umquam de morte hominis cunctatio longa est.’
‘o demens, ita seruus homo est? nil fecerit, esto:
hoc uolo, sic iubeo, sit pro ratione uoluntas.’
imperat ergo uiro. sed mox haec regna relinquit
permutatque domos et flammea conterit; inde 225
auolat et spreti repetit uestigia lecti.
ornatas paulo ante fores, pendentia linquit
uela domus et adhuc uirides in limine ramos.
sic crescit numerus, sic fiunt octo mariti
quinque per autumnos, titulo res digna sepulcri. 230
[219] “Crucify that slave!” says the wife. “But what crime worthy of death has he committed? “ asks the husband; “where are the witnesses? who informed against him? Give him a hearing at least; no delay can be too long when a man’s life is at stake!” “What, you numskull? You call a slave a man, do you? He has done no wrong, you say? Be it so; but this is my will and my command: let my will be the voucher for the deed.” Thus does she lord it over her husband. But before long she vacates her kingdom; she flits from one home to another, wearing out her bridal veil; then back she flies again and returns to her own imprints in the bed that she has abandoned, leaving behind her the newly decorated door, the festal hangings on the walls, and the garlands still green over the threshold. Thus does the tale of her husbands grow; there will be eight of them in the course of five autumns — a fact worthy of commemoration on her tomb!
Delphi Complete Works of Juvena Page 32