desperanda tibi salua concordia socru.
illa docet spoliis nudi gaudere mariti,
illa docet missis a corruptore tabellis
nil rude nec simplex rescribere, decipit illa
custodes aut aere domat. tum corpore sano 235
aduocat Archigenen onerosaque pallia iactat.
abditus interea latet et secretus adulter
inpatiensque morae silet et praeputia ducit.
scilicet expectas ut tradat mater honestos
atque alios mores quam quos habet? utile porro 240
filiolam turpi uetulae producere turpem.
[231] Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. It is she that teaches her daughter to revel in stripping and despoiling her husband; it is she that teaches her to reply to a seducer’s love-letters in no plain and honest fashion; she eludes or bribes your guards; it is she that calls in Archigenes when your daughter has nothing the matter with her, and tosses off the heavy blankets; the lover meanwhile is in secret and silent hiding, trembling with impatience and expectation. Do you really expect the mother to teach her daughter honest ways — ways different from her own? Nay, the vile old woman finds a profit in bringing up her daughter to be vile.
nulla fere causa est in qua non femina litem
mouerit. accusat Manilia, si rea non est.
conponunt ipsae per se formantque libellos,
principium atque locos Celso dictare paratae. 245
[242] There never was a case in court in which the quarrel was not started by a woman. If Manilia is not a defendant, she’ll be the plaintiff; she will herself frame and adjust the pleadings; she will be ready to instruct Celsus himself how to open his case, and how to urge his points.
endromidas Tyrias et femineum ceroma
quis nescit, uel quis non uidit uulnera pali,
quem cauat adsiduis rudibus scutoque lacessit
atque omnis implet numeros dignissima prorsus
Florali matrona tuba, nisi si quid in illo 250
pectore plus agitat ueraeque paratur harenae?
quem praestare potest mulier galeata pudorem,
quae fugit a sexu? uires amat. haec tamen ipsa
uir nollet fieri; nam quantula nostra uoluptas!
quale decus, rerum si coniugis auctio fiat, 255
balteus et manicae et cristae crurisque sinistri
dimidium tegimen! uel si diuersa mouebit
proelia, tu felix ocreas uendente puella.
hae sunt quae tenui sudant in cyclade, quarum
delicias et panniculus bombycinus urit. 260
aspice quo fremitu monstratos perferat ictus
et quanto galeae curuetur pondere, quanta
poplitibus sedeat quam denso fascia libro,
et ride positis scaphium cum sumitur armis.
dicite uos, neptes Lepidi caeciue Metelli 265
Gurgitis aut Fabii, quae ludia sumpserit umquam
hos habitus? quando ad palum gemat uxor Asyli?
[246] Why need I tell of the purple wraps and the wrestling-oils used by women? Who has not seen one of them smiting a stump, piercing it through and through with a foil, lunging at it with a shield, and going through all the proper motions? — a matron truly qualified to blow a trumpet at the Floralia! Unless, indeed, she is nursing some further ambition in her bosom, and is practising for the real arena. What modesty can you expect in a woman who wears a helmet, abjures her own sex, and delights in feats of strength? Yet she would not choose to be a man, knowing the superior joys of womanhood. What a fine thing for a husband, at an auction of his wife’s effects, to see her belt and armlets and plumes put up for sale, with a gaiter that covers half the left leg; or if she fight another sort of battle, how charmed you will be to see your young wife disposing of her greaves! Yet these are the women who find the thinnest of thin robes too hot for them; whose delicate flesh is chafed by the finest of silk tissue. See how she pants as she goes through her prescribed exercises; how she bends under the weight of her helmet; how big and coarse are the bandages which enclose her haunches; and then laugh when she lays down her arms and shows herself to be a woman! Tell us, ye grand-daughters of Lepidus, or of the blind Metellus, or of Fabius Gurges, what gladiator’s wife ever assumed accoutrements like these? When did the wife of Asylus ever gasp against a stump?
semper habet lites alternaque iurgia lectus
in quo nupta iacet; minimum dormitur in illo.
tum grauis illa uiro, tunc orba tigride peior, 270
cum simulat gemitus occulti conscia facti,
aut odit pueros aut ficta paelice plorat
uberibus semper lacrimis semperque paratis
in statione sua atque expectantibus illam,
quo iubeat manare modo. tu credis amorem, 275
tu tibi tunc, uruca, places fletumque labellis
exorbes, quae scripta et quot lecture tabellas
si tibi zelotypae retegantur scrinia moechae!
sed iacet in serui complexibus aut equitis. dic,
dic aliquem sodes hic, Quintiliane, colorem. 280
haeremus. dic ipsa. ‘olim conuenerat’ inquit
‘ut faceres tu quod uelles, nec non ego possem
indulgere mihi. clames licet et mare caelo
confundas, homo sum.’ nihil est audacius illis
deprensis: iram atque animos a crimine sumunt. 285
[268] The bed that holds a wife is never free from wrangling and mutual bickerings; no sleep is to be got there! It is there that she sets upon her husband, more savage than a tigress that has lost her cubs; conscious of her own secret slips, she affects a grievance, abusing his slaves, or weeping over some imagined mistress. She has an abundant supply of tears always ready in their place, awaiting her command in which fashion they should flow. You, poor dolt, are delighted, believing them to be tears of love, and kiss them away; but what notes, what love-letters would you find if you opened the desk of your green-eyed adulterous wife! If you find her in the arms of a slave or of a knight, “Speak, speak, Quintilian, give me one of your colours,” she will say. But Quintilian has none to give: “find it yourself,” says he. “We agreed long ago,” says the lady, “that you were to go your way, and I mine. You may confound sea and sky with your bellowing, I am a human being after all.” There’s no effrontery like that of a woman caught in the act; her very guilt inspires her with wrath and insolence.
unde haec monstra tamen uel quo de fonte requiris?
praestabat castas humilis fortuna Latinas
quondam, nec uitiis contingi parua sinebant
tecta labor somnique breues et uellere Tusco
uexatae duraeque manus ac proximus urbi 290
Hannibal et stantes Collina turre mariti.
nunc patimur longae pacis mala, saeuior armis
luxuria incubuit uictumque ulciscitur orbem.
nullum crimen abest facinusque libidinis ex quo
paupertas Romana perit. hinc fluxit ad istos 295
et Sybaris colles, hinc et Rhodos et Miletos
atque coronatum et petulans madidumque Tarentum.
prima peregrinos obscena pecunia mores
intulit, et turpi fregerunt saecula luxu
diuitiae molles. quid enim uenus ebria curat? 300
inguinis et capitis quae sint discrimina nescit
grandia quae mediis iam noctibus ostrea mordet,
cum perfusa mero spumant unguenta Falerno,
cum bibitur concha, cum iam uertigine tectum
ambulat et geminis exsurgit mensa lucernis. 305
[286] But whence come these monstrosities? you ask; from what fountain do they flow? In days of old, the wives of Latium were kept chaste by their humble fortunes. It was toil and brief slumbers that kept vice from polluting their modest homes; hands chafed and hardened by Tuscan fleeces, Hannibal nearing the city, and husbands standing to arms at the Colline gate. We are now suffering the calamities of long peace. Luxury, more deadly than any foe, has laid her hand upon us, and avenges a conquered world. Si
nce the day when Roman poverty perished, no deed of crime or lust has been wanting to us; from that moment Sybaris and Rhodes and Miletus have poured in upon our hills, with the begarlanded and drunken and unabashed Tarentum. Filthy lucre first brought in amongst us foreign ways; wealth enervated and corrupted the ages with foul indulgences. What decency does Venus observe when she is drunken? when she knows not one member from another, eats giant oysters at midnight, pours foaming unguents into her unmixed Falernian, and drinks out of perfume-bowls, while the roof spins dizzily round, the table dances, and every light shows double!
i nunc et dubita qua sorbeat aera sanna
Maura, Pudicitiae ueterem cum praeterit aram, 308
Tullia quid dicat, notae collactea Maurae. 307
noctibus hic ponunt lecticas, micturiunt hic 309
effigiemque deae longis siphonibus implent
inque uices equitant ac Luna teste mouentur,
inde domos abeunt: tu calcas luce reuersa
coniugis urinam magnos uisurus amicos.
[306] Go to now and wonder what means the sneer with which Tullia snuffs the air, or what Maura whispers to her ill-famed foster-sister, when she passes by the ancient altar of Chastity? It is there that they set down their litters at night, and befoul the image of the Goddess, playing their filthy pranks for the morn to witness. Thence home they go; while you, when daylight conies, and you are on your way to salute your mighty friends, will tread upon the traces of your wife’s abominations.
nota bonae secreta deae, cum tibia lumbos
incitat et cornu pariter uinoque feruntur 315
attonitae crinemque rotant ululantque Priapi
maenades. o quantus tunc illis mentibus ardor
concubitus, quae uox saltante libidine, quantus
ille meri ueteris per crura madentia torrens!
lenonum ancillas posita Saufeia corona 320
prouocat et tollit pendentis praemia coxae,
ipsa Medullinae fluctum crisantis adorat:
palma inter dominas, uirtus natalibus aequa.
[314] Well known to all are the mysteries of the Good Goddess, when the flute stirs the loins and the Maenads of Priapus sweep along, frenzied alike by the horn-blowing and the wine, whirling their locks and howling. What foul longings burn within their breasts! What cries they utter as the passion palpitates within! How drenched their limbs in torrents of old wine! Saufeia challenges the slave-girls to a contest. Her agility wins the prize, but she has herself in turn to bow the knee to Medullina. And so the palm remains with the mistress, whose exploits match her birth! There is no pretence in the game; all is enacted to the life in a manner that would warm the cold blood of a Priam or a Nestor. And now impatient nature can wait no longer: woman shows herself as she is, and the cry comes from every corner of the den, “Let in the men!” If one favoured youth is asleep, another is bidden to put on his cowl and hurry along; if better cannot be got, a run is made upon the slaves; if they too fail, the water-carrier will be paid to come in. O would that our ancient practices, or at least our public rites, were not polluted by scenes like these! But every Moor and every Indian knows how Clodius forced his way into a place from which every buck-mouse scuttles away conscious of his virility, and in which no picture of the male form may be exhibited except behind a veil.
nil ibi per ludum simulabitur, omnia fient
ad uerum, quibus incendi iam frigidus aeuo 325
Laomedontiades et Nestoris hirnea possit.
tunc prurigo morae inpatiens, tum femina simplex,
ac pariter toto repetitus clamor ab antro
‘iam fas est, admitte uiros.’ dormitat adulter,
illa iubet sumpto iuuenem properare cucullo; 330
si nihil est, seruis incurritur; abstuleris spem
seruorum, uenit et conductus aquarius; hic si
quaeritur et desunt homines, mora nulla per ipsam
quo minus inposito clunem summittat asello.
atque utinam ritus ueteres et publica saltem 335
his intacta malis agerentur sacra; sed omnes
nouerunt Mauri atque Indi quae psaltria penem
maiorem quam sunt duo Caesaris Anticatones
illuc, testiculi sibi conscius unde fugit mus,
intulerit, ubi uelari pictura iubetur 340
quaecumque alterius sexus imitata figuras.
et quis tunc hominum contemptor numinis, aut quis
simpuuium ridere Numae nigrumque catinum
et Vaticano fragiles de monte patellas
ausus erat? sed nunc ad quas non Clodius aras? 345
[324] Who ever sneered at the Gods in the days of old? Who would have dared to laugh at the earthen-ware bowls or black pots of Numa, or the brittle plates made out of Vatican clay? But nowadays at what altar will you not find a Clodius?
[audio quid ueteres olim moneatis amici,
‘pone seram, cohibe.’ sed quis custodiet ipsos
custodes? cauta est et ab illis incipit uxor.]
iamque eadem summis pariter minimisque libido,
nec melior silicem pedibus quae conterit atrum 350
quam quae longorum uehitur ceruice Syrorum.
[346] I hear all this time the advice of my old friends — keep your women at home, and put them under lock and key. Yes, but who will watch the warders? Wives are crafty and will begin with them. High or low their passions are all the same. She who wears out the black cobble-stones with her bare feet is no better than she who rides upon the necks of eight stalwart Syrians.
ut spectet ludos, conducit Ogulnia uestem,
conducit comites, sellam, ceruical, amicas,
nutricem et flauam cui det mandata puellam.
haec tamen argenti superest quodcumque paterni 355
leuibus athletis et uasa nouissima donat.
multis res angusta domi, sed nulla pudorem
paupertatis habet nec se metitur ad illum
quem dedit haec posuitque modum. tamen utile quid sit
prospiciunt aliquando uiri, frigusque famemque 360
formica tandem quidam expauere magistra:
prodiga non sentit pereuntem femina censum.
ac uelut exhausta recidiuus pullulet arca
nummus et e pleno tollatur semper aceruo,
non umquam reputant quanti sibi gaudia constent. 365
[352] Ogulnia hires clothes to see the games; she hires attendants, a litter, cushions, female friends, a nurse, and a fair-haired girl to run her messages; yet she will give all that remains of the family plate, down to the last flagon, to some smooth-faced athlete. Many of these women are poor, but none of them pay any regard to their poverty, or measure themselves by the standard which that prescribes and lays down for them. Men, on the other hand, do sometimes have an eye to utility; the ant has at last taught some of them to dread cold and hunger. But your extravagant woman is never sensible of her dwindling means; and just as though money were for ever sprouting up afresh from her exhausted coffers, and she had always a full heap to draw from, she never gives a thought to what her pleasures cost her.
in quacumque domo uiuit luditque professus O 1
obscenum, tremula promittit et omnia dextra, O 2
inuenies omnis turpes similesque cinaedis. O 3
his uiolare cibos sacraeque adsistere mensae O 4
permittunt, et uasa iubent frangenda lauari O 5
cum colocyntha bibit uel cum barbata chelidon. O 6
purior ergo tuis laribus meliorque lanista, O 7
in cuius numero longe migrare iubetur O 8
psyllus ab ~eupholio.~ quid quod nec retia turpi O 9
iunguntur tunicae, nec cella ponit eadem O 10
munimenta umeri ~pulsatamque arma~ tridentem O 11
qui nudus pugnare solet? pars ultima ludi O 12
accipit has animas aliusque in carcere neruos. O 13
sed tibi communem calicem facit uxor et illis O 14
cum quibus Albanum Surrentinumque recuset O 15
flaua ruinosi lupa degustare sepulchri. O
16
horum consiliis nubunt subitaeque recedunt, O 17
his languentem animum ~seruant~ et seria uitae, O 18
his clunem atque latus discunt uibrare magistris, O 19
quicquid praeterea scit qui docet. haud tamen illi O 20
semper habenda fides: oculos fuligine pascit O 21
distinctus croceis et reticulatus adulter. O 22
suspectus tibi sit, quanto uox mollior et quo O 23
saepius in teneris haerebit dextera lumbis. O 24
hic erit in lecto fortissimus; exuit illic O 25
personam docili Thais saltata Triphallo. O 26
quem rides? aliis hunc mimum! sponsio fiat: O 27
purum te contendo uirum. contendo: fateris? O 28
[01] “Whenever a cinaedus is kept he taints the household. Folks let these fellows eat and drink with them, and merely have the vessels washed, not shivered to atoms as they should be when such lips have touched them. So even the lanista’s establishment is better ordered than yours, for he separates the vile from the decent, and sequesters even from their fellow-retiarii the wearers of the ill-famed tunic; in the training-school, and even in gaol, such creatures herd apart; but your wife condemns you to drink out of the same cup as these gentry, with whom the poorest trull would refuse to sip the choicest wine. Them do women consult about marriage and divorce, with their society do they relieve boredom or business, from them do they learn lascivious motions and whatever else the teacher knows. But beware! that teacher is not always what he seems: true, he darkens his eyes and dresses like a woman, but adultery is his design. Mistrust him the more for his show of effeminacy; he is a valiant mattress-knight; there Triphallus drops the mask of Thais. Whom are you fooling? not me; play this farce to those who cannot pierce the masquerade. I wager you are every inch a man; do you own it, or must we wring the truth out of the maid-servants?”
an uocat ancillas tortoris pergula? noui O 29
consilia et ueteres quaecumque monetis amici, O 30
‘pone seram, cohibe’. sed quis custodiet ipsos O 31
custodes, qui nunc lasciuae furta puellae O 32
Delphi Complete Works of Juvena Page 33