B00A3OGH1O EBOK

by Wong, Allen

  18 Dealing with Success

  I haven't actively sought fame since I was 19. Ever since that incident with GunBound, I figured that it was better to be successful anonymously. Even when news outlets like CNN, ABC, NBC, and FOX News wanted to do interviews with me over my apps, I dodged them. It was the apps that people were buying, and not me. I didn’t think it was worth it to sell out my privacy for more money.

  If seeking and gaining attention is what makes you happy, then you are getting yourself onto a slippery slope. Fame is dangerous in that it never lasts. You may be on the front cover of magazines one day, and then become a has-been the next day. Fame is also a double-edged sword. While fame can help you sell your products, it can also attract jealous people who want nothing but to take you down for being successful.

  You should also be careful about using exotic cars as your motivation for success. Being motivated by expensive material goods is unfulfilling. Once you’ve own the exotic car that you want, you will get used to the feeling within a year or so. It will not stay as a constant source of happiness.

  Lifehack #26: Be true to yourself and own it. Don’t be a poser.

  If you really must own an exotic car to be happy, then you might be glad to hear that it doesn’t take much to own an exotic car these days. You can even buy a Lamborghini Gallardo for less than $90,000 if it is old (more than 7 years old) and has high-mileage (above 20,000). And if you think that $90,000 is expensive, then you have to remember that the true cost of owning a car is how much you’re paying for maintenance, gas and depreciation. Thus, if you buy a $90,000 Lamborghini and then turn around and sell it for $90,000 a few months later without spending any money on the car, then you’ve pretty much owned a Lamborghini for free. And if you have connections with a car dealer, then you can even go to car auctions and buy used cars at wholesale prices. Then without ever registering the car under your name, you can drive those used cars without ever paying taxes. And even if you do plan on registering the car under your name, you can set up a limited-liability company in Montana (a state with no sales tax), and buy and sell cars under that company without ever having to pay taxes on it.

  You could do all of that as well, but then you’d just be seen as poser. And if you’re okay with that label, then you might want to start evaluating your goals in life. Are you doing this for your ego? Are you doing this for the fame and attention? All of these reasons are signs of low self-esteem, and a lot of people will see through it. There may be gullible teenagers who buy into it, but everyone else will call you out on it and see you as disingenuous.

  I know people who buy used Lamborghini’s without even owning their own house first. Usually it’s the younger, egotistical kids with wealthy parents who do these things. But can you blame them? They live under the shadow of their wealthy parents. That makes them desperate to become successful or at least appear successful, because that’s what’s expected of them. They also have wealthy peers who compete with them in pissing contests, so they’re always trying to show off to keep up with appearances. Since their parents lavish them with gifts, they are used to getting what they want when they want. It’s this “spoiled brat” attitude that causes them to keep buying high-end cars and other luxurious things with no remorse. They feel as though it is their privilege, and nobody is going to say no to them.

  They’ll also lie and cover up facts to create the illusion that they are more successful than they actually are. They care more about their status than most people do. They make a little money in their business at a young age and then spend it all on cars while living under their parents’ roof. Financially, a wealthy person would choose an appreciating asset like real estate over a depreciating asset like a high-end exotic car. So these people aren’t making wise financial decisions. They’re simply buying these cars as status symbols.

  There’s this one teenager I know from the exotic car forums who does this. He comes from a family of wealth and goes through Lamborghini’s like they were clothes. He had a connection with a car dealer (presumably through his family connections) and was able drive Lamborghini’s with very little financial loss. He barely kept any car for more than a few months, because he would have to sell the car before it depreciates. I’ve lost count of how many Lamborghini’s he has owned, but it is around a dozen or so. What amazes me the most is that he’s still a teenager at the time of this writing.

  That’s the true story behind his cars, but he’ll never tell you that. He leaves out all of these details, because he wants you to believe that he’s successful at his business. But the truth is that his business is not even doing that well for him to afford multiple Lamborghini’s. And although he’ll take all the credit for his business, he’ll leave out the fact that his wealthy parents were the ones who invested it and gave him help. This gave the illusion that he earned all of the success by himself. A lot of people fell for it at first, but as more people looked further into it, they realized that this guy was actually just a poser. He pretty much lost all credibility when he constantly kept bragging about buying this and that without actually going through with it.

  The lesson here is that you should not be this poser when you come across a little bit of wealth. You should either be honest about your financial situation or don’t tell people at all. Just don’t lead them into believing that you are more successful than you actually are. It will backfire on you when people find out the truth. And the truth will come out eventually. It came out for this kid after a few months, and now he’s pretty much the laughing stock of the car forums (whether he realizes it or not).

  Lifehack #27: Be confident, not conceited.

  Having confidence is important in all aspects of life. Whether you’re in a business meeting setting up a new partnership or in a bar trying to attract a girl, confidence is the trait that people look for. However, some people, especially those with a little bit of success, end up coming off as being conceited rather than confident. And being conceited is not a very good look on a person. So how can you tell if a person is being confident or being conceited?

  Confident people are people who can laugh at themselves. If they can take a joke about their weaknesses, then they’re showing signs of confidence. On the other hand, a conceited person doesn’t take criticism very well. He will try to hide his insecurities and even get defensive and angry if you point out his flaws. He may try to downplay the effects that the criticisms have on him, but he is secretly dwelling on it for days and even months. You wouldn’t know it until months later when he gets defensive about the criticisms and starts ranting about haters and what not.

  Confident people are people who adhere to moral and ethical principles. They don’t resort to doing immoral things to get what they want. They don’t choose profits over friends and fans. They have their priorities straight. Thus, if a person lacks integrity, then he is not a confident person. A conceited person is one who relies on drugs, women, and/or fancy cars to feel important. That’s because conceited people are the ones who are insecure and self-conscious about how others view him. So if the person is constantly showing off his girlfriends, cars, and expensive purchases, then he is conceited and not confident.

  Conceited people also like being better than the people around them. They set their goals based on what other people are doing. If his friend gets an expensive car, then he feels the need to get an even more expensive car. They like to compare themselves to others because they feel insecure about themselves. And they are always trying to show that they are better than other people in order to cover their insecurities. Confident people don’t need to compare themselves to others. They only aim for standards that they set for themselves.

  Confident people also take pleasure from praising other people. Conceited people only talk about how good they are. They are not secure enough to admit that some people are better than them at something. Thus, they rather talk about their strengths while pointing out the weaknesses in others.

  Conceited people are also clo
se-minded. If you try to correct them, they will ignore you. If you try to advise them on something, they will ignore you. If you try to teach them something, they will ignore you. Conceited people think that they’re great the way they are and don’t need to improve themselves further. They always think that they’re right, and they’ll find excuses when they realize that they’re wrong. They will shift the blame onto others for being wrong. And they will make up a B.S. answer when they don’t know the answer to something. Confident people, on the other hand, know that they have room for improvement. They enjoy learning from others, and know when to admit that they don’t know something.

  The even more conceited ones are those who are so insecure that they try to cover up their conceitedness. They are afraid that people will call them out on their arrogance, so they resort to sneaky tactics to hide their conceitedness.

  These sneaky conceited people will use dishonesty to deceive others. They are obsessed with people’s views on them, so they will make up lies about themselves. Or if they fear getting caught, they will purposefully be ambiguous about something and let you make assumptions about them. And when you ask whether your assumptions are correct, conceited people will not give you an answer, because they want you to believe in your false assumptions that favor them. They don’t want to admit to making purposefully deceiving statements. For example, they’ll talk about how they made money on their early projects, and then show off their expensive things. They want you to assume that they could afford those expensive things because of the money they earned from their early projects. But in reality, their early projects didn’t actually make that much money to afford them their expensive purchases. So when you ask them about how much money their early projects made, they will either dodge your question or lie. But if you ask people in the same line of business or the people who worked with them on those projects, you’ll find out the truth and realized that these conceited people were being deceitful by leaving out the facts.

  The sneakier conceited people will also label themselves inappropriately. They will call themselves CEOs of a company, even though that company only consists of one employee. They know that people associate CEOs with success and wealth, so they are actually trying to label themselves as successful and wealthy. But the truth is that anyone can start their own company for a few hundred dollars and call themselves the CEO of it. Those who know that their company isn’t all that great will be able to see through this poorly-veiled attempt at deceit.

  The sneakier conceited people also love to humblebrag. By this I mean that they subtly brag about how wonderful their lives are while making seemingly humble, self-depreciating statements. For example, they’ll say something along the lines of, “The champagne on this first-class flight to Paris tastes horrible.” While they want you to believe that the horrible champagne they’re having is the focus of that statement, what they really want you to know is that they are on a first-class flight to Paris.

  Some other tricks that the sneakier conceited people use are taking pictures that show off their wealth. They will then caption those pictures without talking about the thing that they are really trying to show off. It is their way of humblebragging through images. For example, a person can take a picture of his shoes while sitting in the front row seats at a NBA game, and only talk about how his shoes look in the photo captions. What the person is trying to do is show off his front row seats to an NBA game without appearing as though he is showing off.

  The sneakier conceited people also use false modesty. When you praise them, they will purposefully refuse praise just so that they can hear it again. For example, if you tell a conceited girl that you think she’s really pretty, she’ll say something along the lines of, “Huh? You think I’m pretty? I’m not that pretty.” This can actually be false modesty. She may be fishing for more compliments. A confident person would instead turn the conversation around and start praising the other person.

  There is no need to be conceited to become or feel successful. Only the weak must resort to bragging to feel significant, while the confident ones don’t. It’s much like how only the small dogs feel the need to bark to look fierce, while the big dogs don’t.

  Lifehack #28: Try to avoid depending on validation from others.

  “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” – Bruce Lee

  One of the keys to being rich is staying humble. I know a lot of young people who obtain wealth really quickly and then blow it all while thinking that money comes by easily. Once their income stops or slows, they end up with a bunch of bills and expensive toys that they can no longer afford. Their shopping sprees fueled their ego, and their ego kept them happy. But as their ego grew, it took more spending to keep them happy and keep them feeling as though they were progressing. However, a lot of times that ego also keeps them from doing productive work.

  Ever notice that a lot of famous music artists only make one or two great songs and then are never heard from again? They got so used to partying and not working that they don’t feel motivated to work hard any longer. And you can’t blame them either. The record labels usually push them to go to venues after venues until they’re burnt out and need an outlet for their stress. That outlet changes from person to person. Sometimes it’s drugs. Sometimes it’s women. Sometimes it’s throwing expensive parties.

  In any case, spending money is what eases their pain. And if someone is insecure as well, then he’s spending the money in hopes of validation. This may be someone who people look negatively upon, so his self-esteem is so low that he resorts to showing off his wealth in exchange for validation. Often this is someone who posts pictures of his cash, cars, boats, receipts for drinks at a club, and other spending sprees on Facebook and other social networks. (Note: If it’s a girl, usually she seeks validation via posted pictures of her body in cutesy poses with duck faces, or in slutty, look-down-my-shirt poses with cleavage showing. As an alternative, she will posts picture of her food, pets, baby, niece and/or nephew.)

  Almost everyone will once in a while post one of these “validation” posts on Facebook. But the problem is with someone who depends on them.

  The problem usually starts when the person’s normal status posts get very little “likes” while his pictures of wealth gets a lot of “likes”. This influences him into thinking that he can only get approval from his friends and strangers if he spends more money and talks about it.

  But those “likes” are only temporary, and soon he needs to post more pictures of wealth for more “likes”. Then when he realizes that different pictures of the same thing doesn’t get that many new “likes”, he decides to spend more money and show pictures of that. That’s when the dependency starts. He starts posting only pictures that show off his wealth, and brags about what cool “baller” things he is doing. And every once in a while, he needs a fix and posts more. This is someone who gets addicted to “likes”, and is emotionally attached to other people’s validation of him.

  This isn’t the way to live your life. The only person whose validation you need is your own. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. And don’t be the fool who spends a lot of his money just to prove others wrong.

  Lifehack #29: Share your success.

  So what purpose does earning money serve? For me, the money goes to benefiting my family and making sure that they’re taken care of. It’s a worthy cause that doesn’t make me feel guilty in the end. Since my brother doesn’t earn as much as I do, I give him and his wife a few grand a month so that his family could live a better life. I figured that a few grand a month would mean more to him than it would to me.

  I admit that there are days when I feel guilty about splurging on two flashy Lamborghini’s, with one worth more than double the previous. And there are days when I feel guilty about owning more than one house. But in the end, it’s about what you do with these things that matter the most. Are you buying these things to show off your wealth?
Or is there a more moral reason?

  The reason why I bought the Lamborghini was that I eventually became overwhelmed with juggling a full time job, creating apps on the side, taking care of my mother, and maintaining a social life. Having a brand new Verde Ithaca Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 was my way of dealing with the stress. I know, I know, I could have just gotten a stress ball for much less. But it was my dream car, and so far, it had done a great job at putting a smile on my face each time I drove it.

  The car had also put a smile on everyone else’s face, and helped raised money for many charity events, so it still fitted into my ideals of making this world a better place. Before the car, I never really spent any of the money I earned on myself (I was living with my mother and the Lamborghini was the very first car I bought). My mother, who’s very fiscally conservative, abhorred the idea that I was getting an overly expensive and flashy car. But my brother later told me that when I was taking delivery of my new Lamborghini, my mother had a proud look on her face and even became a little teary-eyed.

  And now I have a new one-of-one azure blue Lamborghini Aventador® LP700-4. I saw this car as an upgrade to my LP560, and I wanted to get rid of the flashy lime green color (the azure blue color is a much more classy color). When I took delivery of the car in Orlando, FL, I had brought my mother with me again. It was also her first time in Florida for over twenty years, and it was her first time visiting my new big house in Florida. She never liked the idea that I was spending so much money on these luxury things, but she did not know that I was also spending the money for her.

  You see, my mother suffers from catatonic schizophrenia, a very serious mental illness that she had since she was in her 20’s. Stressful events in her life trigger her psychotic episodes, where she would have auditory hallucinations, have trouble expressing herself and become extremely paranoid. These psychotic episodes usually last for maybe a few days, or two weeks at most. Our family mostly dealt with it without medication for decades. Her psychiatrist said that it’s possible that she developed it because she grew up in the slums, and her brother and father used to abuse her.