Marcus

by Nhys Glover

  I did not hear the answer. I did not need to. I knew well enough that both my babe and I would live to see many days and years of joy to come.

  Chapter Sixteen

  MARCUS

  There had been times in my life when I had thought I would have preferred being a woman, but after watching Ennia give birth to her daughter, I no longer felt that way. It was one of the most disgusting and painful things I had ever witnessed. Only Phaedrus’ torture was worse.

  But as I stared down at the tiny human, I was filled with awe. Creation! Did anything compare with it?

  While Ennia slept, her swaddled babe at her side and Minerva and Laria standing watch, we men went to celebrate.

  Ariaratus joined us, looking tired and old. He received the wonderful news and seemed reassured, even accepting a cup of my finest wine.

  “It is not all good news,” Asterius said as he sipped his wine.

  “How so?” I asked in surprise.

  I expected him to be the most overjoyed. No, that was supposed to be Orion, who had been so sure the babe’s size would kill her mother. But he was in a state of numbed bliss, shaking his head every so often when someone patted him on the shoulder in congratulations.

  “There is no way our babe is going to pass as yours,” he answered, his handsome face troubled.

  “Of course she will... Babes all look alike...” I stammered, not wanting to think about problems right now.

  “No, they don’t. And even if they did, they don’t stay babes long.”

  “We could say it was a still birth and give the babe to the breeder who just lost her babe. She is quite beside herself with grief,” Ariaratus offered reluctantly.

  “No. Having this babe was important. It covered over the many flaws in our living arrangements,” I said in dismay.

  “And Accalia would not stand for having her child taken from her,” Orion said fiercely. “Nor would I.”

  “What about the babe who was just born in the slaves’ quarters?” Typhon said slowly. “Didn’t the midwife say it was small, and the mother was small like Accalia?”

  “She wasn’t the girl we used to... The one who looked like her? She wasn’t the one to die, was she?” Talos asked in true concern.

  I did not know what they were talking about.

  “What are you suggesting?” I demanded of Typhon, starting to see where he was going, but needing to be sure.

  “I’m suggesting that the breeder who just lost her newborn might act as wet nurse for our babe and the small one... Do we even know whether it is a boy or girl? It would not be expected that Accalia would nurse her own child. We could pass the small babe off as yours, Marcus. Asterius and I grew up as foster brothers because we shared the same breast. These babes could do the same.”

  I was stunned. It was one thing to pass Ennia’s child off as mine. It felt like mine, after all these months, anyway. But a stranger’s child? An unknown child of a slave, who would grow up to be the head of a mighty patrician family? That was too much!

  Yet what was the choice? Declare the babe was stillborn and have my pater determined I must produce another child as quickly as possible? And would Ennia’s next child be any less problematic? The next one might be Talos’ child or Typhon’s. A dark skinned or slant-eyed babe would be even harder to pass off as mine.

  We had created the perfect life for ourselves and our unique requirements. I could not disrupt it by not accepting this solution.

  “It might work,” I said slowly. “If Ennia agrees.”

  “Our she-wolf will agree,” Orion said with fierce assurance. “As long as she keeps her child with her, she will agree.”

  I nodded. “Then we better get both the wet nurse and the small newborn up here. There will need to be a lot of stories created to explain it all.”

  Orion looked at me with bemusement. “You will accept a slave’s babe as your own?”

  I shrugged. “I was going to accept your child as my own. I will not spoil what we have here out of misplaced pride. I was never going to be a father, anyway. Now I get to be one, and not have to share with all of you.”

  Phaedrus kissed the side of my head. “You are a very good man, my love. Sometimes I wonder how you developed into this paragon. Your kind are not usually so good.”

  I preened a little at his approval. “Being thrown into a barracks with slave boys helped. Having them befriend me and see my value, not as a patrician but for myself... that also does not hurt. Having Ennia as an example to emulate also aided my growth. If she can see beyond class, so can I.”

  In a very short time both the newborn and the wet-nurse had been brought up to the villa. I could see from the red, puffy eyes that the breeder was still very upset about the death of her babe. Would she accept two more in replacement?

  The motherless slave child turned out to be a boy, which I was pleased to discover. Now I had embraced the new situation, I looked forward to being father to a boy I could raise in a very different way to my own upbringing. I would be there for him at his every step, and I would allow him to grow into the kind of man he wanted to be. If he preferred men to women, I would accept it. If he preferred women, I would accept that as well.

  Ennia had been informed about the developments and seemed relieved by them. I saw years fall away from her young shoulders. Until that moment, I had not realised just how worried she had been about this birth. Not just the delivery, but what the child might be like.

  It was to Ennia that we took the new heir. As I expected, she immediately doted on the child as if he was her own. We placed both babes in her arms before leading in the prospective wet-nurse.

  Set one beside the other, the difference in size and colouring was plain to see. The boy was small and underweight, with a dark thatch of inky hair and olive skin. The girl was much larger, with milky skin and bald head. I was told that their eyes would not show their actual colour for some time.

  We led the grieving mother in. She was a large, fair haired woman who could have been Orion’s sister from her appearance. I had been told her name was Gerta.

  Ennia smiled sadly at the woman as she entered the apartment. Gerta’s eyes widened as she took in the sight. She knew Ennia, of course. Everyone on the estate knew the healer who was also their mistress. My wife looked very maternal, her full face and large breasts adding a little something to her already impressive aura. Her light brown hair reached her shoulders and someone had thought to brush it into tidiness after the birth.

  “Gerta, Ariaratus has told me of your great loss. I was hoping that you would do me a service. This child,” she nodded to the little boy, “is my son and this one...” She nodded to the girl. “This one is a babe who lost her mother not long ago. Would you be wet-nurse to both children? I know they cannot replace your own... but you would be helping me greatly. And you can remain their nurse as long as you wish. I myself still have my childhood nurse at my side.”

  Any other noblewoman would have simply told the woman what was wanted of her. It would not matter if she agreed to it or not. But Ennia was not like other women of her class. And I loved her for it.

  Gerta crept closer to the bed, her red eyes wide with hope. One large hand came out to gently stroke the girl’s cheek. “She looks like my babe. Or how my babe should have looked if she had not sickened and died. Three days she lived. Three short days.”

  Even I felt for her in that moment. And tears were rolling down Ennia’s cheeks.

  “I am sorry. I wish I had known. I might have been able to do something. But my healing ability has been... erratic of late.”

  “It is God’s Will,” Gerta said softly, stroking the little boy’s cheek now and watching as he turned his head and formed his lips into a moue. He was looking for food.

  Ennia frowned. “God’s Will?”

  Gerta nodded. “I have been hearing about the Christ and he taught that great suffering is often ours to bear here on earth, but in Heaven it is different. In Heaven there is no suffering, no pain
. It is beautiful. And it is God’s Will when He calls His children home to be with Him there, whether it is soon after birth or in old age.”

  I inwardly scoffed at this doctrine. I could easily see why it would appeal to slaves who suffered most in our society. It was a pleasant dream to cling to when life gives you nothing but pain. But I had heard that this god of the Christians was like the Jews and was a jealous god requiring total loyalty only to him. Nero was enjoying rounding them up, making them choose between their god or their life and then killing them when they chose their god. What kind of god requires his followers to sacrifice their lives for him? It made no sense to me.

  “That is a lovely idea,” Ennia said gently. “I am sure your babe has gone to that Heaven you spoke of. But these are yet here on earth. Will you give them sustenance? Will you help them live?”

  Gerta nodded energetically, already holding her arms out to take the girl. But Ennia offered the boy to her instead. I could see her maternal instinct was making it difficult for her to give her own child to another woman when she was quite capable of feeding the babe herself.

  “I have to get back to work as soon as I am able. There are many in need of care on this estate and on my husband’s. Being tied to a babe would make that difficult.” I could tell how hard it was for her to say, but she said it with fierce determination.

  “Yes, you are much needed, Mistress. I will care for your babe and the little girl. Can I name her?” She sounded so hopeful.

  Ennia stiffened. This was the first test. I saw her fail. “She is Maleka. We named her Maleka.” She looked across at Orion, who smiled and nodded his agreement.

  I knew that Maleka was the woman who had helped Ennia in Palmyra. It would have looked too odd to name a slave’s child after Ennia’s mother, but this name was fitting and belonged to a strong, capable woman.

  “The boy is Gaius Valerius Natalinus,” I said with pride. I even fancied he looked a little like me. A runt who had some growing to do, if he was ever going to catch up with his foster sister.

  “Yes, he is Gaius,” Ennia said as she looked at the babe who was now happily suckling at Gerta’s breast. She reluctantly passed Maleka over and Orion placed his daughter at the woman’s other breast. The tiny mouth sought and found what she needed for life and began suckling hungrily.

  I looked back to see the pain on Ennia’s face. Asterius had moved close to her side and was now holding her hand. From her position, the wet-nurse could not see the gesture. Of course, if the woman was to live with us here in the villa, she would quickly realise the situation. Whether she could work out which was really her mistress’ child was anyone’s guess, but we would hold to the story for appearance’s sake.

  When Phaedrus came to my side and rested a hand on my shoulder, I leaned my cheek against it. “I think we have solved all our problems now. It should be plain sailing from now on.”

  Phaedrus laughed. “You are ever the optimist, my love. Nothing is ever plain sailing. But at least we have each other. As long as we do, we can handle anything.”

  I nodded. “I love you. Have I said that today?”

  He smiled, and I saw only the handsome man I had fallen in love with the first day I entered the government buildings in Britannia.

  “No. But I will accept it now. And reaffirm my own adoration. I never expected to ever be this happy. It was worth the pain it took to get here.”

  I had to agree.

  Chapter Seventeen

  February 66 CE

  ACCALIA

  A fierce and icy wind had been buffeting the villa all day, and I had been cocooned inside with my babes, enjoying a rare day of rest. Gerta sat on the floor with the babes on a sheep skin in front of her. They slept with their heads pressed together. Little Gaius had grown a lot in the six weeks of his life, but he would never catch up with his foster sister.

  Maleka looked so much like Orion I was constantly entranced by her. Her head was now covered with tufts of downy fair hair, and her eyes were bright blue with Orion’s serious depths to them. She was a sweet-natured child who rarely felt the need to cry.

  Gaius had dark eyes that seemed to hold an impish twinkle. He required more attention than my stoic daughter, which Marcus and Phaedrus were happy to give him. It had been a good thing, this switch of identities. My Maleka already had four doting fathers. Marcus could have Gaius all to himself. Or share him with Phaedrus, which was the same thing.

  My heart belonged to my daughter, of course. Gerta saw that and accepted it, even as she saw who shared my bed at night and accepted that as well. She was just happy to be out of the breeding compound.

  She told me once that the idea of having to hand over a son to the barracks, and to know he might die in the arena one day, had kept her awake most nights during her pregnancy. It was good she could remain as nurse to both children as they grew and feel assured their lives would be safe.

  I had asked her about having to breed with a man not of her choosing. That had become more and more of an issue for me since I had experienced what it could be like to share intimacies with a man. Or men. And the cruelties a strange warrior might inflict on a woman or her children worried me. I had been considering changing the program since Orion told me his story.

  Gerta said that she did not mind that part of it. Being in the compound where she had been born and grew up had felt natural to her. She also accepted it as natural that her partners were chosen for her. So far she had only had the one warrior, the father of her dead baby, but she did not think she would mind another. It was good to have a man’s full attention, rather than just a few stolen hours after a workday was over. That was how it was for the field-slaves. So yes, that side was fine. It was the idea of losing her sons to the barracks that upset her most. But the other women had told her she would simply steel her heart to her sons. That way it was easier to give them up when the time came.

  Now she did not have to steel her heart against losing either of the babes she had been given to mother. It made her happier than she had ever expected to be.

  I wondered at her simple acceptance of life. I could never have accepted what someone else determined was right for me. After all, had I not walked my own path since I was old enough to make such a choice?

  Rising to my feet reluctantly I said, “I must go. Call me if either child needs me.”

  I always said that, even though I knew she would never do such a thing. Her job was to meet the babes’ needs. My men and I simply provided affection and attention, neither of which was required for healthy growth.

  My heart sank a little at the thought. It hurt not to be Maleka’s continued source of sustenance as I had been for her first nine months of life. She was my heart. I adored her. And though I loved her little male shadow, it would never be in the same way as I loved the child of my own flesh. And Orion’s.

  I wandered through the chilly halls to my apartment. As I entered I saw a fire was burning merrily in the grate. It surprised me. What further surprised me was the sight of Asterius lounging before the flames, looking as contented as a cat.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, coming to sit on the divan at his side.

  “The weather is too bad for training. Even the Spartans would not have expected their lads to train in this weather. Brrh! Shrinks a man’s pride to almost nothing.” He shivered in exaggerated fashion that made me laugh.

  I reached out and cupped Asterius’ pride and found it was anything but shrunken. It jumped happily to life at my attention. Giggling like a silly girl, I petted him as I would a puppy.

  “Have you recovered well enough to resume your marital duties?” he asked me on a moan.

  “I do not have marital duties. Phaedrus takes care of those for me,” I joked.

  “You know that among common people a man who shares his bed with one woman for a year is considered wed to her. Therefore, you are wed to us. So I ask you again, are you recovered?”

  “The breeding program left several years between
one warrior and the next, but Phemia tells me that it is comfortable and safe to resume ‘marital duties’, as you call them, after six weeks. I have reached and passed that point more than a week ago. As I think I have explained to you all often enough. It is not me who is limiting our pleasure. I am starting to think you no longer find me attractive, having seen what a baby can do to me down there.”

  I tried to keep my voice light and playful, but it was not easy. It was a legitimate concern, especially as my men increasingly avoided intimacies with me.

  Asterius drew me into his arms and kissed my lips tenderly. “We find you even more attractive now than we did before, which is quite a feat. We have just not wanted to start something that you may not be ready for yet. It is not like a woman with just one man. We use you well, all of us. And after what Maleka’s birth did to you, we are rightfully concerned.”

  “I have a mouth if the place between my legs is not up to it,” I offered grumpily.

  “And a beautiful mouth it is, too. But once we start... we can’t be sure we’ll be able to be gentle or stop. Surely you remember what we’re like?”

  I certainly did, and I missed it badly. “I have started taking the herbs again. The ones I should have started taking before I gave my virginity to Orion. You do not have to worry that we will have another problem like Maleka. Although I cannot think of her as a problem or a mistake. She is a jewel! A precious jewel.”

  Asterius laughed. “She is that. And will be spoiled rotten by her four fathers when she gets older. But I’m glad to hear you are taking precautions. You had us terrified for seven months. And I still have nightmares about that birth. You can really scream!”

  I punched him. “You would scream too if something the size of Maleka was forcing its way out of your body.”

  “Who’s screaming?” Typhon asked, strolling into the room with a pastry in hand.

  It was raspberry and I saw thoughts of another such pastry long ago spring to his mind. He stuck his finger in the jam and spread it over his lips as he kneeled in front of me.