Lord Love a Duke

by Renee Reynolds

  This time, Juliet grimaced as she relived her graceless fall to the earth. Time had seemed to move so slowly as she dropped, then all too fast she landed. The two feelings she retained from her disgrace complemented each other well: pain and mortification. The pain she could blame on her sprained ankle and wrist. The mortification came from being discovered in such a state. She was equally embarrassed from lacking the skills to maintain her perch as from being caught spying. While her brothers laughed and jeered, Jonas checked her for broken bones, brushed the leaves and other wooded detritus from her person, then picked her up to carry her all the way back to Belle Rêverie. It was a trip that gave her much to dream on for months.

  She yawned once more and stretched her tall frame like a cat, shaking the silly memories off as a knock sounded on her door. Her maid, Lily, entered with a steaming cup of chocolate and began to prepare her toilette. Together they selected a day gown of coral with a shimmering overlay of similarly-colored gauze. A cream colored ribbon was tied around the empire waist, the tails of the bow falling nearly to the floor in back. Juliet finished her chocolate as Lily then gathered her mistress' long tresses in a loose coil on the top of her head. Another cream ribbon was interwoven within the coil, with several long tendrils of hair allowed to escape down the center of her back. Satisfied with her appearance, she slipped on cream slippers and padded down the hall to see if Miranda still remained. Just as she began to knock, the door was thrown open.

  "Oh! You nearly scared me to death!" Miranda laughed breathlessly. "My nerves are a little jumpy this morning. I confess I am anxious to get this over with now that we have begun."

  "I am the same. I slept well, but immediately awoke with a sense of anticipation laced with dread. I do hope your brother has difficulty ascertaining from the outset the culprit of this prank."

  They linked arms and went down the stairs, picking up the company of Miss Shaw and Lady Temperance on the way. They waited, allowing the other ladies to enter the morning room first, then gave each other a reassuring glance. Jonas was already at the head of the table, his paper covering the lower half of his face. He raised his cup of coffee for a drink but their view was still obscured by the news sheets.

  "I will ask him how he slept after I get my plate. I'll look at his mouth then," Miranda whispered, leading her friend toward the sideboard loaded with breakfast dishes. They waved off the assistance of a nearby footman, preferring to choose their own food. Their path was soon blocked by the sudden appearance of Viscount Melville.

  "Good morning, my ladies. I trust you both slept well. Might I have the pleasure of serving you?" Before they could answer he grabbed both their hands and led them to seats at the table. He then moved back to the serving area and began to select food for their plates.

  "The nerve of that man," fumed Miranda. "He is so high-handed I cannot stand it. He didn't even ask what we would like to eat. I wager a guinea our plates will mimic his." She nodded her head toward the Viscount's dish opposite them that contained kippers, sausages, kidneys, and eggs. Juliet shuddered at the thought of her plate containing even half that much food.

  "I hope you are wrong, but fear I hope in vain. Maybe he will – oh, thank you, my lord. Kippers and kidneys this morning. How fortunate." Juliet smothered a smile and threw a wide-eyed glance at Miranda. She added a wink just in time to see the Duke lower his paper to watch the scene. She blushed at being caught so informally and glanced away while trying to smother a smile at his raised brows.

  "I did not know your breakfast preferences so endeavored to give you a generous selection from which to choose." The Viscount looked so pleased with his efforts that Juliet momentarily softened and did not have the heart to disparage his efforts. Miranda felt no such hindrance.

  "You should have asked me, my lord, and I would have been happy to oblige you with the knowledge that I eat only toast or pastries when breaking my fast." The sound of a throat loudly clearing arose from the head of the table. "I thank you all the same for your kind bounty," she added, then turned to address her brother. "Jonas, I trust you slept comfortably last night. You certainly look handsome and well-rested."

  "Too brown," warned Juliet under her breath.

  The Duke's blue gaze narrowed slightly as he stared at his sister over his paper. "I slept very well, thank you. And you?"

  "Oh, just perfect. I love the feather beds in this house. Terribly soft and airy." She remembered the presence of so many single gentlemen and colored slightly at her discussion of beds, clamping her mouth shut.

  "Well I also slept so well. In fact, I was just telling Lady Temperance that very thing," offered Lady Philippa, her eyes focused on the Duke. "You rooms are so beautiful, the greens and peaches are just so soothing. It's all so, so lovely."

  So, so and so, thought Juliet, once again noting Lady Philippa's unfortunate tendency to embellish every phrase with that word. She wished once again that she could summon a form of fondness for the unlikeable sister of the so-so-likeable Earl of Dartmouth. How two siblings could have such vastly different personalities was a mystery. Juliet's attention drifted back to the table conversation as the general consensus went up that all slept well on perfectly comfortable beds. She nearly laughed at the banality when the Earls of Aylesford and Bristol burst in the room with a cacophony of noise.

  "All right, Your Grace," sneered Aylesford with mock deference, "you have called an early start to the war this week, have you not?" He glared mightily down the length of the table at the Duke.

  "I beg your pardon?" asked Jonas, finally lowering his paper to the table.

  "Aye, you should beg my pardon, and my forgiveness! Just look at my mouth! What kind of bacon-brained hoax are you about? Look what you've done to me!"

  "And me!" added Bristol. Both gentlemen took the pause as their cue to smile brightly, revealing lips, teeth, and gums to be a fierce shade of violet blue. Several gasps went up around the table. Juliet slapped a hand to her mouth to keep her amusement hidden, especially at her brother.

  The Duke was silent for a moment then burst out laughing. He put his coffee and paper down and stood to move toward his friends.

  "Oh, no, you don't!" shouted Bristol. "Stay right where you are and explain yourself." Juliet had not seen her brother so livid since she filled his bed with worms when they were children. His face was a most shocking shade of pink, although it complemented the violet shade of his mouth quite becomingly, she thought, not-so-successfully smothering a laugh.

  "Explain what?" He continued to walk toward the Earls, chuckling softly as he scanned their faces. "I would, however, be interested to hear your explanation as to how your mouths turned that ghastly shade of blue?"

  Aylesford straightened to his full height and stormed over to the Duke, standing toe to toe, if not quite eye to eye. "You know very good and well how this happened! What I want to know is why you did it!" Juliet noticed the Earl's hands were clenched and white-knuckled at his sides and she began to worry this prank might lend itself to fisticuffs. She cast an uneasy glance at Miranda, whose eyes were fastened on the unfolding scene with a look that could only be described as gleeful. Juliet moved her leg to kick her friend gently in the shin. She soon received a less-than-gentle kick in return.

  "I assure you I did not do anything to cause your discoloration, if that is your insinuation. When last I saw you, it was to bid you good night and collect your remaining blunt at cards. When did this happen?"

  Bristol threw a glance at Aylesford, who was still fuming and glaring at the Duke. "We stopped by your study for a glass or two of port before bed and both of us woke up like this." He drew his hand up to gesture wildly at his mouth at the end of his confession.

  "So we want to know if you spiked your own port in effort to keep us out," added Aylesford.

  The Duke paused before speaking and glanced briefly at Miranda, who quickly wiped her face clean of any expression. The Duke returned his stare to his friend. “I have not been in my study since working on busines
s yesterday morning, and I assure you I would not ruin good spirits on purpose. Come, let us finish this discussion in private.” He held up his hands and escorted the gentlemen from the dining room. Tittering conversation broke out among the group around the table, save for Juliet and Miranda. They quietly and quickly finished their tea, then removed themselves outside to the garden.

  Chapter Sixteen

  To mourn a mischief that is past and gone is the next way to draw a new mischief on.

  William Shakespeare, Othello, Act 1, Scene 5

  "Well, that was a big success," Miranda confided, leaning over to speak to Juliet in hushed tones despite their isolation and solitude in the garden. Her countenance radiating glee and merriment.

  Juliet's head snapped around to stare at her best friend. "Are you foxed? What about the scene we just witnessed screamed 'success' to you?"

  "Foxed on excitement and success to be sure! I'll admit the joke was planned for Jonas, and while that didn't work out, the sad fact that he escaped was blunted by two things. First, we actually pulled a prank where two gentlemen had their teeth stained blue. Second, the gentlemen we japed are members of the LOO. If the joke had to fall on someone else, who better than not one but two of those insufferably conceited lords? Oh, it was all I could do not to spit out my scone when Lord Aylesford opened his mouth. And your brother just sputtered and fumed. He could not even speak!"

  Miranda dissolved into huge gales of laughter. Her words and obvious amusement proved too much for Juliet and she joined in, sharing her friend's diversion. Her mind's eye conjured up a picture of the blue mouths of the lords and Juliet had to hold her sides in support as she fought to catch her breath.

  "Oh, Juliet! That color was so deep and hideous! And they looked so wounded!" Miranda began to laugh in earnest again.

  "You make a good point – they did look personally offended. Do you suppose they truly think your brother responsible for the prank? That would be a stroke of good fortune. If we somehow manage to turn the members of the LOO against each other in a state of war over pranks we could easily avoid even the suspicion of blame in all this. That would be the ultimate joke!"

  Miranda's eyes lit with mirth and a devilish delight. "We need to play the next prank within two days. We'll let them all stew and fret, then begin the next round."

  "I take it you already have a plan then." Juliet eyed her friend speculatively.

  "Oh, yes! This came to me last night as I couldn't sleep for wondering about that dyed port. Jonas rides every morning before breakfast. Whenever the weather is hot, he jumps in the pond to cool off afterward. As it is so terribly warm right now he will surely swim and we need only to sneak down to the pond and steal his clothes. He will have to walk back to the stables quite the fair Abram.

  "Oh Miranda, that prank could be beyond the pale, and your mother would box your ears if she heard such vulgar cant coming from your mouth.” Juliet sighed dramatically. “If this is to be our plan I believe it must needs be a solo prank for you. I do not need to be anywhere near a man without his clothes if I am not related to him. I will accompany you for the alibi, but will stop well short of the pond."

  Juliet's cheeks flushed at the thought of being near enough to spy on a naked Jonas. And when did she start thinking of him by his first name only? She mentally steeled herself to not lose her perspective or focus. Your Grace. The Duke. Your Grace. The Duke.

  "That's a good idea. If he somehow sees me I can excuse my presence more readily alone than in your company. Now what will be our alibi? We could go riding. Just taking a walk could cast suspicion as we would be unlikely to walk to the pond as somewhere else."

  "Yes, definitely riding,” Juliet agreed. “We will need to make it known we plan to ride on the beach. We'll be removed a good distance from the pond that way. We can obtain our mounts then you can backtrack to the pond quickly for his clothes. We will meet up then ride out in the opposite direction for the beach. Let's plan to do this two mornings from now, to put a little distance between each prank." Juliet made a mental note to speak her plans in general conversation to her parents and to the grooms in the stables the morning of their folly.

  Miranda nodded her head vigorously in agreement. "Jules, this is turning out to be a fantastic house party!"

  Chapter Seventeen

  I would my horse had the speed of your tongue.

  William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1

  The door to her chamber burst open the next morning causing Juliet to scream, drop her sipping chocolate that had just been handed her, and lose her towel, and all at the same time. Well it's good to know how I would react to an intruder, she thought ruefully as she stared at the cause of her fright. Miranda burst into the room then stopped to stare at the nude form standing on a chocolate-stained section of carpet. Thank heavens her drink was much cooled from its earlier scald.

  "Juliet! Whatever are you doing?"

  "Right this minute? Trying to overcome the desire to die of fright and mortification. To say your entrance surprised me would be a gross understatement." Juliet knelt to retrieve her towel and heard the distinctive clop of a man's boots on the parquet floor of the hall. "For heaven's sake, shut the door! Someone's coming and I am utterly at sixes and sevens!" she yelled to Miranda. She wrapped herself securely in the towel and ran behind her dressing screen.

  "Juliet? Are you alright?" Her mother's muffled questions sounded as she rapped staccato strikes repeatedly on the door. "Juliet!”

  Miranda wrenched the door open to a small crowd of onlookers. Juliet stuck her head around the screen to reassure her mother then gave a small groan at the sight of the audience just outside her chamber. "Get rid of everyone" she hissed to Miranda.

  "Juliet is fine, Lady Lansdowne. I came in her room without knocking and caused her to have a small fit. I'll ring for more chocolate and help settle her nerves. It was my fault she screamed."

  Lady Lansdowne stretched to look over Miranda's shoulder and Juliet gave her a little wave of acknowledgment and dismissal. She glimpsed several unidentifiable heads behind her mother and groaned again in embarrassment. "There's nothing to see! I'm perfectly fine! Continue with your morning!" Juliet yelled from behind the screen. "Blast it, Miranda, shut the door!" she hissed again.

  Miranda gave a jaunty salute and slammed the door on the onlookers. She turned and motioned to the maid to come out of the dressing room and help her friend. Juliet slowly emerged from the protection of the screen and glared at Miranda as Lily tried to sop up the chocolate mess. The cup had hit the carpet but the contents had thankfully spilled mostly onto the hardwood floor.

  "Shall we start over again, with you knocking politely and asking permission to enter my chamber?" She picked up the silk chemise from her bed and began to dress, having emerged from the hip bath just prior to this interruption.

  "Bugger it, I said I'm sorry! I did not know you would be so startled."

  "You did not apologize, and you burst into the room with the volume of cannon fire, so it's no wonder I screamed." Juliet poked her friend in the shoulder for emphasis.

  "Well allow me to apologize formally, my lady," Miranda offered with a showy bow and impressive leg. "I have good reason to be excited, and you will, too. You'll never guess who will be here by early afternoon." Silence settled over the room as the ladies stood staring at each other with increasingly wider eyes and expectant expressions. Lily stopped her cleaning in anticipation of the news.

  "Well? Are you going to tell me?"

  "I thought you were going to guess," returned Miranda.

  "Argh! I feel like I am in a French farce this morning! You told me I'd never guess so I was not about to try." Juliet blew out an exasperated breath as her maid rose from the floor to help settle Juliet's damask silk gown over her head. The rose color complemented her flushed cheeks and made her silver eyes seem even more striking.

  "Oh, you're in rare form this morning, you wench. I wouldn't tell you now except I'm too exc
ited. This house party is about to be improved by the addition of one Countess Ashford, Catherine Allendale. Isn't that fantastic?"