Dodie closed her eyes, as if unable to look at him anymore, but he persevered.
“It wasn’t a matter of choosing you over Carson, Dodie, it was a matter of me trying to figure out how to put back together the pieces of my life that had been ripped apart.” He loosened his grip, but stroked her arms with his hands, trying to make her understand, praying she would understand. “I love you so much, Dodie. And to think that this happened to you and I wasn’t able to help you—” He stopped, his emotions choking off coherent thought.
“I thought you didn’t believe me,” she whispered, her head still bent.
Jace took a chance and gently tilted her head up. He held her wounded gaze, then slowly lowered his mouth and kissed her. He drew back and cupped her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks with his thumb.
“I love you and, if it wasn’t illegal, I would do some serious damage to Carson MacGregor, something far more serious than quitting my job.”
Dodie’s shining eyes told him more than any words she could have spoken. And when she pulled his head down to kiss him back, his heart sang with relief and with love.
“I thought you couldn’t stand to be with me,” she said, her voice ragged. “I thought you were disgusted because I wasn’t the same innocent, untouched girl I once was.”
“No, Dodie. Never.” Jace’s heart broke at the anguish in her voice. He didn’t like seeing the strong, vivacious girl he had come to respect come to this. “You’re still Dodie. You’re still a child of God and you’re still loved by Him. And by me.”
Dodie’s laugh held a note of irony. “You love me. Now.”
He gently smoothed a tendril of hair back from her face. “I think I always have. I just needed to find a way to express it.”
Dodie shook her head, as if unable to comprehend what he was telling her. “You love me,” she said again, testing the words.
“I love you. And I admire you. You dealt with this on your own, you stayed strong. You carried on and created your own life—”
“Hardly a life.”
Jace gave her a gentle shake. “When I see what you have done for so many members of this community, I realize that you did do the things that we had in mind when we first wanted to be lawyers. You are serving and interacting with people in so many beneficial ways. Ways that I know are probably more pleasing to God than many of the things I’ve done with my expensive education and golden opportunities.”
Dodie swiped a stray tear off her cheek. “You’re just trying to make me feel good.”
“Do you?”
She blinked, then slowly turned her head to him, a smile feathering her lips. “A bit.”
Jace cradled her shoulders with his hands. “You’ve become the person I wanted to be. Someone who helps other people without thinking about yourself. And in spite of what happened to you—or maybe because of it—I see you as more determined to make your own way. To do what you want and not what other people expect.”
He drew her close, wrapping his arms around her. He was too late to protect her from what had happened, but as much as it was in his power, he was going to keep her safe. Keep her close.
She laid her head against his shoulder, returned his embrace as she nestled against him. “I didn’t think this would ever happen,” she murmured. “I didn’t think I would be able to be with you, after you knew.”
Jace held her even tighter, as if to let her know how wrong she was.
He felt her draw in a trembling breath. And then another as she sniffed.
“It’s okay, Dodie. I’m here,” he said quietly, sensing what was coming. “I’m not going to leave you. I’m not going to let you go.”
The first trembling sob cut into his soul. Then came the next.
And then she was turning to him, her body wracked with sorrow, tears flowing from her eyes onto his shirt. She clung to him, as sobs convulsed her body and leached out the pain and loss of the last six years.
Jace closed his eyes, holding her tightly to him, his head pressed on hers, as his own tears flowed.
Then after a time, the storm slowly subsided and her sobs turned into broken breaths.
“I’m sorry, Dodie. I’m so sorry.” Jace rocked her gently back and forth, holding her as close as he dared, wishing he could have protected her.
She lay against him and her hand clutched his shoulder.
“I’m sorry I made your shirt wet.”
Through his own tears, Jace had to smile. “It will dry.”
Then Dodie drew away, her hands pushing at her hair. “I must look a wreck,” she sniffed.
Her eyes were red and twin tracks of mascara ran down her cheeks. Her hair was disheveled.
But to Jace she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He got up, retrieved a box of tissues and handed them to her, placing one hand on her shoulder while she tidied up.
The digitized sound of a bird chirping coming from the pocket of Dodie’s jacket, broke into the moment.
Jace hoped she would ignore it, but she wiped her eyes once more.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured, digging into her pocket. “Probably my mom. I told her I would be right over.”
Jace kept his hand on her shoulder, however, anchoring a gentle calm to her.
Dodie sniffed again, then flipped open the phone. “Hey, Mom…Yeah…I’ll be right there,” she said, giving Jace a tender smile. “Yes, I know I told you it was important but, well…I’m just running a bit late is all.” She smiled, nodded and then said goodbye. She took a deep, shaky breath and got up. “I gotta go tidy up. Be right back.”
A few minutes later she returned and, except for her still-red eyes, looked freshened up. “Will I pass?”
Jace nodded as he rubbed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away a tiny smudge of mascara. “You were going to your folks’ place?”
Dodie nodded pressing her hands to her flushed cheeks. “Now that I’ve told you, it’s time I tell them, too.”
“You kept this quiet from everyone?”
“Like I said, I felt so ashamed and I was scared of Carson. And so I kept silent. And then one year became two, then three, and after a while, I thought maybe I could forget about it. And then you returned and we started spending time together…and you were such a reminder to me of everything from before and it all came rushing back.”
“I’m sorry, Dodie. I’m so sorry.” He gave her a quick hug. “I’ll go with you if you want.”
“Really?”
Jace grew serious. “I don’t want you to do this on your own.”
“That would be better than great,” she said. “I know they need to be told, but I’m so scared to tell them.”
“Of course you are. This is hard.”
“I’m a nervous wreck. I’ve spent the last two hours trying to figure out what to wear, what to say and how to let them know why I’ve kept this from them for so long.”
“You don’t need to explain anything, Dodie. Just tell them. I think that will be enough for now.” He stroked her face again.
“I’m still worried,” she said as she leaned into him.
Jace brushed a kiss over her head and sent up a prayer that her parents would understand.
Chapter Fourteen
“He did what?” Tilly shot up from the couch, her hands clenched into fists.
“When did this happen?” Dodie’s father spoke through gritted teeth.
Her parents’ shock was like a tidal wave battering her fragile defenses.
Dodie was thankful for Jace’s presence beside her, for his arm around her shoulder, supporting and holding her up.
“All this time…” Her mother’s voice trembled. “All this time and you never told us.”
Dodie felt once again the shame and guilt that had been her constant companion since that horrible night.
“When you went to Europe we thought it was because of stress, because of your work…” Her mother strode across the room, then turned as if seeing Dodie for the first time.
D
an Westerveld looked up at her, his expression twisted with anguish. “Honey, why didn’t you tell us?”
Her mother’s anger wasn’t a surprise, but the brokenness in her father’s voice was her undoing.
“I couldn’t, Daddy. I was so ashamed. I felt so…dirty.” Her voice wavered. She struggled to maintain control. Her head still ached from the gale of tears she had shed in her apartment. A storm that Jace had been there to hold her through.
Dan’s narrowed gaze zeroed in on Jace. “Did you know your boss did this?”
“I just found out on Saturday—”
“Dodie, you couldn’t tell us? Your own parents?” Tilly’s shrill voice cut through the dull, throbbing pain in Dodie’s head. She knew this was going to be bad, she just hadn’t expected so much anger from her mother. “How could you have held this back from us?” Tilly continued, her voice growing sharper.
“I think, right now, Dodie needs your support more than your anger,” Jace said.
Dodie sank against him in relief.
“Don’t presume to tell me how I should behave right now,” Tilly snapped. “My daughter was hurt in the most shameful, heinous way…only another woman could understand how humiliating this could be. And it was your boss that did it.”
Dodie closed her eyes, trying to weather out this storm, thankful for Jace’s arm around her, creating a sanctuary of understanding and support. She knew this would be hard, she just didn’t think she would feel so emotionally fragile.
“Tilly, please come here and sit down,” Dan said. He spoke quietly, but there was a command in his words.
Dodie heard footsteps, then the next thing she knew, she was being drawn to her feet. She opened her eyes and saw her father looking down at her, his own eyes filled with tears, his hands on her shoulder. Her mother stood beside him.
“My baby girl. You carried this all alone, all this time. I’m so sorry.” Then she was being held close to her father’s chest, surrounded by her father’s love. He held her tight, as if trying to give her the protection he hadn’t been able to all those years ago. He rocked her gently and to her surprise and amazement, she felt his tears dampening her hair. “I’m so sorry, so sorry.”
Her mother was stroking her head, her other hand clinging to Dodie’s arm. “My baby girl,” she whispered in a broken voice. “My little baby girl.”
They stood thus for another moment as Dodie recognized that the hurt she had felt had also been her parents’.
As a father pities his children…
The fragment of the Bible verse eased past her guilt and grief, and she realized that as much as her parents were hurting for her, God hurt, as well.
“Can we pray together?” Tilly said, the sorrow in her voice creating a new wave of sorrow in Dodie’s.
Dodie nodded, pulling away from her father, who kept one arm across her shoulders. Tilly had her arm through Dodie’s and Jace came to stand opposite her.
She felt surrounded and supported, just as Helen spoke of the night of the fundraiser.
Dodie lowered her head and her father began.
“Lord, You are a father and You know sorrow and pain. You know what we’re feeling right now. We don’t know what to do for our little girl, or how to help her, but we trust You will show us the way. We want her to feel our love, our caring and our trust. We want her to feel Your love, too. Help us to give her the support and help she needs. Lord, this is more than she should bear, but we know You have given her strength and will. Keep giving her the strength to get through this.” He paused a moment and cleared his throat. Then whispered a quiet “Amen.”
Dodie kept her eyes closed as a wave of pure, unadulterated love swept over her. She let its purity and strength cleanse her, absolve her.
Then, as she raised her head, Tilly drew her close, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry, honey,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t a better mother. I’m sorry I didn’t recognize what you needed.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Mom,” Dodie said, laying her head on her mother’s shoulder. “I should have told you, but I was scared.”
“Of course.” Tilly stroked her head, then pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “Of course you were.” Then she drew away, standing back to look at her, as if to assess her daughter through this new information.
An awkward moment followed, everyone seemingly unsure of what role they were supposed to play now.
“Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?” Tilly said, her voice taking on a brisk, businesslike tone.
Dodie glanced at Jace. “It’s up to you,” she said quietly, hoping he would furnish her with some excuse. She needed to leave to get her bearings again.
And she wanted to be with Jace, to rediscover their relationship. There were no more secrets between them, and she was eager to explore this new place they had found. Eager to get to know him with nothing between them.
But to her disappointment, he nodded. “I wouldn’t mind juice or a glass of water.”
She frowned at him, wondering why he wanted to stay and he gave her an encouraging smile.
“I’ll get us all something to drink.” Her mother hurried off to the kitchen, and Dodie knew she was thankful to have a job to do.
Her father sat across from them, his eyes heavy with regret.
“I’m okay, Daddy,” she said. “Truly.”
Her father wrapped his hands around each other and rocked back and forth a bit. “I want you to know that whatever you want to do, you have our support. Whatever you want to do.” His heavy emphasis on that last phrase sent a chill down Dodie’s spine. She hadn’t thought any further than telling her parents. Confronting Carson…
She couldn’t think of that right now and wasn’t sure she could.
“I think we’ll take this one step at a time, for now,” Jace said. “I’ll be able to help Dodie if she needs any legal assistance. If she wants to press any charges.”
Dodie felt a chill again. She wasn’t sure she wanted to think about that yet.
“And what are your plans?” Dan asked.
“I’ve decided to start working on my own,” Jace said, assuring her father. “I’ve quit my job with Carson.”
“When?”
“This morning. As soon as I possibly could.”
Dan nodded, as if approving.
“I was thinking about some of my options on the way home, and I think I could quite easily start my own legal practice here in Riverbend.”
“So you have a plan for your future,” Dan said.
Jace nodded, tightening his arm around Dodie’s shoulders.
Then Tilly returned with a tray of glasses, ice clinking against the sides. She handed them out, then sat down.
Jace held his glass between his hands, swirling the juice in a circle. He looked nervous and Dodie wondered what was going on.
He took a sip, then set the glass down. He glanced from her father to her mother, then to Dodie.
“Dan, Tilly, I know this might not be the right time for this, but I also think I’ve been patient.” He cleared his throat and took Dodie’s hand in his. “But I’d like to ask for your blessing. I would like to ask Dodie to marry me.”
Dodie’s heart stopped, did a slow turn, then raced. Jace wanted to propose to her? She squeezed her hand in return, letting him know her own intentions.
Her mother had her hands over her mouth and her father was smiling.
“Well, now, I think that’s wonderful,” Dan Westerveld said, getting to his feet. He took Jace’s hand and laid his other hand on Jace’s shoulder. “I am honored to give you our blessing.”
Her mother squealed then caught Dodie by the hands, and pulled her up into another fierce hug. “Oh, my baby girl,” she said, her voice breaking. “A wedding to plan.”
Dodie just smiled and returned her mother’s hug.
Tilly pulled back, her eyes shining. “We’ve got so much to talk about—”
“And so do Dodie and I,” Jace said, taking her free hand. “And
I’m sorry to rush off.”
“No. That’s fine,” Dan said. “You two go.”
Tilly frowned. “But Dodie, we should start making plans—”
“And so should they,” Dan put his arm around his wife’s shoulders, gently drawing her aside.
Then her father turned to her and gave her another tremulous smile. “You take care of yourself, honey. And please, let us know if you need anything.”
“I will. This time.” Dodie stood on tiptoe and gave her father a kiss, then her mother, thankful for their love. Their caring and their assurance.
And then she left, her arm tucked into Jace’s. She had no idea where they were supposedly going, but for now it didn’t matter.
They were together.
They got back into Jace’s car and he started driving. The silence was comforting and Dodie felt herself go boneless, felt the tension that had gripped her so tightly, slowly dissipate.
It was done.
“Where are we going?” Dodie asked, finally breaking the silence.
“You’ll see.” He reached across the car and took her hand in his.
She wanted to ask him a myriad of questions, but she voiced only the one foremost in her mind.
“So you’re going to stay in Riverbend?”
Jace nodded. “Regardless of who Carson sends here, Riverbend could use another lawyer’s office.” Jace gave her a gentle smile. “The money won’t be as good—”
“Does that matter?”
“Maybe. But not as much as it used to, and I think it will be good for me to be on my own. Make my own decisions.”
Dodie felt herself daring to dream and make a few plans of her own.
Then Jace made a turn off the road, and Dodie knew exactly where they were going. The lookout point.
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