“And once again, we’re trespassing,” Dodie said.
“I called Logan this time,” Jace told her. “He said it was okay.”
“Well, if my cousin’s husband says so, then it must be so.”
Jace finally came to a stop and turned off the engine. The sudden quiet pressed in on Dodie, but she welcomed it. They got out of the car and Jace reached out a hand to Dodie, then led her to the edge of the bank overlooking the river.
The valley spread away from them, trees newly leafed out and catching the sun. Below them the river sparkled and danced, moving relentlessly onward.
Then Jace turned to her. “I’ve imagined this moment so many times, practiced so many speeches. Planned all kinds of elaborate scenarios.” He smiled at her and cupped her cheek in his hand. Then he put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.
Dodie swallowed, her heart tripping over itself as she looked into Jace’s eyes.
“But basically, I have only one thing to ask you.” Jace flipped open the box to reveal a diamond ring that flashed in the sun like a promise of bright tomorrows. “Dodie Westerveld, will you marry me?”
Dodie pressed her lips together, as tears threatened once again. But these were happy, joyful tears.
She could only nod and throw her arms around Jace. “Yes. I will.”
They stood this way for a moment, warmed by the sun, by their embrace and by their love for each other.
Then Dodie pulled away, and Jace gently fit the simple band with its single diamond on her finger. She held it up, turning it so that it caught the sun and sent it back to her in a myriad of sparkles and colors. “It’s beautiful, Jace.”
Jace kissed her gently on the lips. “Not as beautiful as the woman wearing it.”
She smiled. “Did you make that up?”
He shook his head. “Read it in a magazine.”
She laughed aloud and the sound echoed back. “I love you, Jace Scholte. And I want to spend the rest of my life being your devoted wife.”
“Did you make that up?” he teased.
“Yes, I did.”
He kissed her again. “And I love you…and though I want to spent the rest of my life with you, for now I want to spend some ordinary time with you. Catch up. Find out everything I missed out on. Just be together. Just be Dodie and Jace.”
Dodie stoop on tiptoe and brushed a kiss over his one cheek. Then the other. “That will keep us busy for a while. We’ve got six years to catch up on.” She angled him a shy glance, feeling a measure of contentment she hadn’t felt since the last time she was with him.
“I know what you gave up for me, Jace,” she said, knowing it needed to be said. “I know what Carson meant to you at one time. And I know how disappointed you must be, to have the man you so admired revealed like this.”
“I think part of my disappointment is in myself. That I misjudged his character so badly.” Jace shook his head. “And even worse, I want to do some serious damage to him.” He turned back to Dodie. “And what about you. What do you want to do?”
Dodie knew he was referring to Carson. Pressing charges against him was the last thing on her mind right now.
“How about we save that for another time? I don’t want the past to mess up this moment.”
Jace shook his head as if in disbelief. “I can’t believe you can brush that aside.” He gently fingered away a strand of hair caught in her lipstick.
“Hardly brushing. I spent six years suppressing. But now that it’s out, I feel strangely free. Something Helen said has helped. Something about the thing that destroys me is the thing that controls me. And you know how much I hate being controlled.”
“Except it didn’t destroy you.”
Dodie sighed and gave him a wistful smile. “No, but it did twist me around. And it made me lose you.”
“You never really lost me. Maybe misplaced me for a while.” Jace trailed his finger down her neck. “And maybe I needed that time to figure out what I really wanted. Maybe I needed to realize how important you really were to me and how unimportant my job is.”
“It’s not unimportant,” she protested, pressing her hands against his chest. “You can do so much.”
“And I can do it here. With the woman I love.”
“Will you miss the hustle and bustle of a big-city law firm? Will you feel like you’ve come back to the place you tried to leave?”
“Being here and being involved with the fundraiser has definitely helped me figure out the benefits of being back in Riverbend. And has made me see this town through adult eyes. Made me realize why my parents stayed here.” He lifted her hand and kissed her fingertips. “And made me realize why you came back here.”
“To hide.”
“And to heal.”
Dodie traced the line of his lips. “I’m so thankful that you came back, Jace. God has blessed me beyond blessing.”
“Are you still angry with God?”
Dodie puckered her forehead, weighing the question. “When I think of my dad’s reaction when I told him about the rape and when I think that God loves me even more than my father, then no. I’m not angry with Him anymore. Because God has set me in this place, in Riverbend, and the boundaries of my life are good. And if you stay, I have all I need. Right here. Close to home.”
“I’m glad.” Jace caught her hands in his and dropped another kiss on her lips. “And I’m so humbly thankful that you’re willing to be with me. I love you so much, Dodie.”
She lifted her face to his, her smile brighter than the sun even as tears of joy gathered in her eyes.
“And I love you, Jace.”
She sealed her love with a kiss.
And then drifted into the safety of his arms.
Epilogue
“Anything exciting?” Dodie asked, as Jace sauntered into the kitchen and dropped the mail onto the kitchen table.
“Just some bills for the renovation we did on the bathroom.” He pulled a face, but then pressed a quick kiss on his wife’s forehead. Then he turned her to face him. “You are beautiful.”
“Now you’re talking like a lawyer. I’ve got no makeup on, my hair is a disaster and I feel like I’ve swallowed a whale.” Dodie pressed her hands on her stomach, pushing the baby over to one side. “A whale that won’t lay still.”
“Busy little guy,” Jace said, stroking her protruding stomach.
“Or girl.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to find out what he or she is?” Jace asked, sorting through the envelopes.
“There are precious few pleasant surprises these days, I think I should be allowed at least one.” Dodie murmured.
Jace picked up the folded newspaper and went utterly still.
“What’s wrong, Jace?” she asked in alarm.
Jace glanced at her, then at her stomach where their child was still moving and twisting.
“Jace, please.”
“It’s nothing.” He snapped the paper shut and tucked it under his arm.
“Come back here,” Dodie said, grabbing him. “Let me see.”
Jace sighed and then gave in, knowing she would find out eventually. He set the paper down on the table and wordlessly pointed to a small article below the fold. No pictures, just the headline: Lawyer Found Guilty of Sexual Assault.”
Dodie let the words register and then grabbed for a chair. Jace caught her and eased her down, supporting her.
“It’s done” was all she said.
Jace rubbed her arms, his eyes on her. “Are you okay? Do you want a drink of water? Something?”
She shook her head, dragged her hands over her face and felt the last unspoken burden fall off her shoulders. She had laid her charges and of course Carson denied them. Time had been her enemy and the case had dragged on. Dodie had grown tired and wanted to leave it be.
Then another girl came forward, this time with proof. And justice was finally meted out.
“Are you okay?” Jace asked again.
Dodie
rubbed her stomach, and felt again the wonder of this tiny being inside of her. The miracle of life that she and Jace had created together.
She looked up at her husband, the man she had pledged her life to and who had pledged his life to her.
In front of her family and friends.
“I’m fine, Jace Scholte. God is surrounding us with His care and love, and I am fine.”
Jace knelt before her and smiled up at her. “Me, too.” Then he laid his head on his child, safe in its mother’s womb. “Us, too.”
Dear Reader,
I’ve never went through what Dodie did, and I can’t begin to be an expert, but I know women who have been sexually abused. Daily I admire the strength and courage of those who managed to carry on with this memory embedded in their lives. I can’t claim to have any answers for healing, but I do know that our God is a loving and caring God, and that He understands pain and sorrow and shame. And that in spite of how we may view Him, His love is boundless and all-reaching. If we let Him into our lives, if we realize that apart from Him we have no good thing, then maybe we can find strength and hope and unconditional love.
P.S. Stop by my Web site at www.carolyneaarsen.com, or drop me a note at [email protected].
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Do you think Dodie’s reaction to what happened to her was realistic?
Why would she feel shame when she had done nothing wrong?
Why do you think she kept this information from Jace and from her parents?
How would you have reacted in this situation?
Dodie used to be focused and far more conservative. Why do you think she changed so much?
What should Jace have done when she left the first time?
Why do think Dodie’s mother reacted the way she did when she was finally told? Could you empathize with her?
If your daughter gave you this news, what would your reaction be? Or, conversely, if you had to tell your family, what do you think their reaction would be?
Was Dodie right in being angry with God? How would you feel toward Him if you had been in the same situation?
Why do you think Jace’s career was so important to him? Do you think shame was part of his past, as well? Why or why not?
Which part of the book did you enjoy most?
Why do you think Dodie kept the information about what happened to her from her sister? If you have a sister, would you have?
Do you know someone who has experienced the same thing Dodie has? Have you been able to comfort them or talk to them?
ISBN: 978-1-4268-4344-0
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Copyright © 2009 by Carolyne Aarsen
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the editorial office, Steeple Hill Books, 233 Broadway, New York, NY 10279 U.S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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