“Really? Those reports are hardly accurate. You missed two of the candidates’ first week results.”
She clenched her teeth. “I didn’t miss anything. Those candidates are away for the holidays. You approved their request to leave Anchorage for a few days to see family, remember?” She wasn’t the one who’d messed up and she’d be damned if she would let him make her feel inadequate.
He waved a hand. “Either way, the trials have started...the team is up to speed on things. I’m taking you off as lead to give you time to focus on your job.”
He was what?
She shook her head more in disbelief than refusal. No matter what she said or did, his decision was final. “I can’t believe you. For three years, I’ve been at your side researching this new drug, applying over and over to get it FDA approved, interviewing and researching the right candidates for this trial...”
“And you did great work.”
Was that a compliment? She couldn’t tell by the patronizing tone.
“I want to stay on.” She deserved to be there when the drug was a success, when her father and the team were awarded the Lister Medal, which she knew in her heart would happen.
How could he not see that? How could he not want her to have that?
“I’ve asked Tim to step up and he’s agreed.” He touched her arm, but the gesture was more disciplinary in nature than affectionate. A silent reminder that they had an audience and not to make a scene. He’d been silencing her emotions that way for years. She stiffened and moved away.
No matter what she did, no matter how hard she worked, nothing would be good enough for him. She’d learned to accept that. But now, he was taking away something that belonged to her as much as anyone else in that room, maybe more so... Something deeply personal as well as professional. “I disagree with that decision. Tim lacks the experience I have.” He couldn’t argue with that.
“True. But he’ll catch up quickly.”
Logic was dissipating, emotion taking over for probably the first time ever regarding her career. “I don’t understand.”
“I sent you emails today looking for updates on subjects 65 and 34.”
Subjects. No, patients. Real people. Mr. Keely and Mrs. Somers. Patients she’d actually gotten to know the last few days, and now she had a very personal interest in seeing them benefit from these trials. It wasn’t just about the drug anymore. She fought the urge to correct him. “I was just replying to those emails, and as I mentioned, those candidates were not available.”
“I shouldn’t have had to send the follow-up emails. A month ago, you’d have already sent the updates about those subjects without me asking for them.”
She swallowed hard. That was probably true, but the hospital emergency department had been crazy that week and she’d thought he’d remember that he’d approved their exclusion...excuses. He’d only hear excuses. That’s all they were. She’d set expectations with her past work ethic and in recent weeks, those standards had slipped a little.
She’d accepted it. But she couldn’t expect her father to. “Yes, sir.”
“I have to get back in there,” he said, turning and disappearing into the room. “CC Tim on your replies.”
Tim, her replacement. The man who would get the glory for all her hard work. Worse, the man who would get to work with these patients and see the amazing results. Erika stood there for a long moment, contemplating the future of her career.
Unfortunately, all she could think about was the fact that despite everything, she’d rather be at The Drunk Tank than in that meeting right now.
* * *
ERIKA HAD LIKED Cassie’s photo. The one from earlier in the evening of all of them together at The Drunk Tank Christmas Eve party.
What the hell did that mean?
No comment, no message...hell, she still hadn’t Friend Requested him on Facebook yet.
Just a single Like.
But she’d been checking on them—that had to mean something, right? Was she wishing she was there with them? In that picture, next to him? For fifteen minutes now, he’d been driving himself crazy wondering.
Maybe he should call. She had to be awake... Damn, he desperately wanted to hear her voice.
Reed stared at her profile picture, her medical school graduation shot. So polished, so poised, so...not the woman he had known her to be. Sure, she was brilliant and successful, but whenever he thought of her, he thought about the quick-thinking, fast-acting, no-bullshit-taking woman who’d saved a man’s life on the side of a mountain.
And he thought about the soft, affectionate, desirable woman he’d lost himself to. Unfortunately, he wasn’t sure that woman wanted him anymore.
He sighed, tucking the phone away as he continued to clean up the bar after the Christmas Eve party. It was after midnight, so technically it was Christmas Day. Everyone else was gone. Tank had taken off early to put Kaia to bed and play the role of Santa. Cassie had gone to spend the night at their mother’s house. Wade was with his wife and Tyler had found a lonely tourist to spend the holiday with...
Much to Kelsey’s obvious dismay.
He’d always enjoyed their annual Christmas Eve party. They were a family. There was no one else he’d ever wanted to spend this night with, nowhere else he’d rather be. Until this evening, when his heart had been hundreds of miles away.
Surrounded by family and friends, it was easier to pretend, but at the end of the night, he was alone.
Was his sister right?
Was it wrong to expect Erika to make sacrifices to be with him when he wasn’t prepared to make any of his own?
He lifted the barstools, setting them on top of the bar, then he ran the mop over the hardwood floor.
Claiming that Erika would be happier in Wild River with him was just arrogance and an unwillingness to accept the fact that she might not have fallen as hard and fast as he had.
Maybe she’d needed more time. He’d been unable to give her that.
He put the mop away and turned off the Christmas lights behind the bar. Shutting off the music, he locked up and headed home. He hadn’t driven there that evening, knowing he’d be drinking along with everyone else, and now the streets were quiet, empty, haunted with memories of Erika everywhere he looked. Light from the streetlamps illuminated his path and a soft snow fell in big flakes, covering his tracks as he walked. The Christmas displays in the store windows held reminders of everything that was important in life. Themes of family, love, connections were all around him.
He loved it here. This was the life he knew. But how much would he have to give up if he wanted to hold on to it?
He stopped and took in the snow-covered mountains. He breathed in the fresh air and let it fill his lungs with new hope. There was very little he’d give all of this up for...but one feisty, sexy brunette who held his heart might just be it.
* * *
HER CONDO HAD never felt so lonely. Void of any holiday decorations was the way she usually preferred it, but she couldn’t help but wish she’d at least put up a tree.
The sound of her neighbors’ Christmas Day festivities coming from down the hall wasn’t helping.
She wasn’t scheduled to be at the hospital for another two hours. Normally, she’d go in early, but being taken off the clinical trials still stung. How could her father do this to her? She’d obviously given him more credit than he deserved, hoping some part of him still cared about family. About her. But it was all about the job.
And here she was turning out just like him. Almost thirty and the only future in sight was a mirrored image of this lonely holiday.
Sitting on her sofa, her coffee warming her hands, Erika stared at her cell phone.
She’d already called Cassie to say Merry Christmas, but the call had gone to voice mail. It was only just after nine. Her friend was probably still sleeping.
&
nbsp; Resisting the urge to call Reed was killing her. She willed the phone to ring.
But he wouldn’t call. Christmas or not, she’d hurt him.
Picking up the phone, she opened her photo gallery and scrolled through the pictures she’d taken of him shirtless in his bedroom.
Damn, he was hot. And more important, he was kind and caring and strong and everything she could ever hope to find in a man. She’d thrown it all away. Had losing him been worth it?
She stared at his gorgeous face.
She was an idiot. And there was only one thing that could begin to make her feel better.
Going to her fridge, she retrieved the box of peppermint fudge Cassie had given her and carried it back to the living room. She picked up her honorary search and rescue member jacket—the best and only gift she’d received that year—and put it on, desperate to find comfort in the thing that tied her to Reed...to another possible future?
Turning on her television, she flipped the stations until she found It’s a Wonderful Life.
Perfect. The most depressing Christmas movie ever, her fudge and memories of the best week of her life.
Merry Christmas to me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CALLS HAD COME IN steadily since Christmas Day and by December 31, Reed was running on fumes. Unexpected ice storms and rain had made the ski slopes and hiking more treacherous, but the holiday tourists, the ones who visited the resort once a year, were ignoring the warning signs and venturing out in unsafe conditions anyway.
“Just once it would be nice if these jerks thought about what their stupidity meant for the people who have to come save their asses...” Wade muttered as he and Reed climbed the side of Canyon Ridge, heading for the spot where a cell signal locator had predicted two missing hikers would be. The call had come in an hour ago and they hadn’t covered much ground yet, the unpredictable terrain a concern.
Slow and steady. At least the avalanche warnings had been lifted.
Tyler, Tiffany and a new support member, Riley, were only a few feet behind with the litter and emergency supplies.
As he trod carefully on the icy, slippery terrain, Reed couldn’t help but wonder if maybe he would be just as happy rescuing and helping people in a city setting—heart attack patients, work accidents. Making a difference a different way.
So far that week, they’d assisted three ski patrol calls and answered two search assist calls from the state troopers’ office, and not one of the rescues had even thanked them. Not that he did this job for the praise, but getting yelled at by a man whose rescue had required outing his affair with his ski instructor was not exactly the motivation Reed needed to continue this job, especially when his heart was somewhere else.
Over the holidays, he’d spoken to his mother about his father. She’d been disappointed to hear that the man had checked out of rehab, but not surprised. She’d been more upset for Reed. Everyone had to stop worrying about him. He wasn’t a child anymore. He could handle life’s complications. If he was in Anchorage, maybe he could help. His father may not have been there for him, but Reed was strong enough to offer support if it meant getting back the man he’d once looked up to.
Though he knew it wasn’t his father’s being in Anchorage that was suddenly pulling him in that direction.
He squinted as bright red fabric caught his eye. “I think I see something over that ridge,” he said, pointing several feet away to his right. At least the hikers had enough common sense to wear a bright color.
Unfortunately, they hadn’t had enough sense to bring a compass, instead relying on their cell phone GPS systems to navigate. The station did a great job educating the kids about backwoods safety, but they needed a better training program for adults.
If only they could somehow make it mandatory.
Wade radioed the others as they drew closer to the ridge.
Careful of the false ground beneath them, Reed peered over the side. “Hikers located,” he said in his own radio. Two men sat on the side of the mountain on a ledge several feet below. If he had to guess, they’d been hiking up the side of the mountain, hoping to reach the trail at the top that the crew were standing on. They both still wore their climbing harnesses attached to the mountainside. They were secure, at least.
But the mountain terrain between the top and where the men had stopped was unclimbable. Snow was unpredictable—the frozen surface couldn’t be trusted—and blowing snow in the area made for terrible visibility. He waved his arms and called out, “Hey! Steven! Craig!”
Both men turned to look up and waved when they saw him.
It was hard to be certain from that distance, but it didn’t appear that either man was injured.
“How are we proceeding?” Wade asked, glancing toward the two men. He shook his head, his annoyance with these rescues at an all-time high. “They look like they’re sitting around, shooting the shit,” he said. “Fucking tourists.”
It didn’t help that it was Wade’s wedding anniversary and he’d no doubt gotten an earful when he’d had to rush out on his wife. Reed placed a hand on his shoulder. “We will get back to rescuing locals soon enough, okay.”
“Promise?” Wade mumbled. The others reached them and Reed walked them through the method by which they could get the two hikers to safety.
“Bringing them up here without jeopardizing our safety is dicey, so I suggest we take that side trail down to their location, then move south along the far path back toward the village,” he said.
Tyler frowned. “Couldn’t we just lower the litter here and bring them up one at a time? Seems faster.”
Reed considered the idea but shook his head. He carefully stamped a boot toward the edge. A big chunk of snow broke off and fell. “The ground here is too unpredictable. Farther out, we have no idea what’s false ground or not.”
Tyler didn’t look convinced. “That slope is steep, man. Climbing up to them isn’t a great idea either.”
Reed looked at the others. He could pull rank and insist they do it his way, but the two hikers weren’t in immediate danger. Safety of the crew was number one priority right now and he wouldn’t make a decision that could potentially put any of them at risk. “What do you guys think?”
Wade shrugged. “I’m with you. Someone would have to rappel down with the litter and I can’t see more than a few feet away. I don’t like that idea.”
“Tiffany? Riley?”
The newer members seemed torn, but ultimately they sided with his idea.
Reed turned to Tyler. “You good with this?” Tyler’s opinion was actually the most important. The guy would be next in line to become a lead crew member if Reed left. Which he’d been contemplating more and more each day. He hadn’t told anyone yet, but he’d have to soon. Each day he appreciated his job less and less when it meant giving up on any potential relationship with Erika. And he wouldn’t do this job if his heart wasn’t fully in it.
Tyler released a breath. “It’s your call, man.”
Reed hesitated a fraction longer, but realizing Tyler probably had New Year’s Eve plans that he was hoping to get to—that a pretty girl waiting on him might be clouding his judgment—Reed went with his initial gut determination. “Okay.” Calling out over the ridge, he told the hikers to sit tight.
Wade peered over the edge. “Are they playing cards?”
Reed sent him a look.
“They could pack a deck of cards but not a compass?” Disbelief in the guy’s voice made Reed laugh.
“I’ll let you give them an earful as soon as we’re back at the station, okay?” he told him.
“You better believe I will. You should have heard the one I got from Kim this morning...” Wade mumbled, wrapping his thick scarf across his face to block the wind. “I’ll be in the doghouse for a week.”
Reed envied him. What he wouldn’t give for an opportunity
to be in the doghouse with Erika. He had to make things right with her first.
As the crew moved along the side trail, the snow picked up and the covering of white, fluffy flakes over the glassy surface below made footing even more dangerous.
“Grab tree branches and really lock in your footing,” he instructed, leading the way down the path.
Visibility sucked in these mountain ranges. This wouldn’t have been his first choice of trails to hike in bad weather.
Keeping a close eye on his crew, Reed didn’t see a large sinkhole in the path ahead of him until his foot fell through it.
His right leg dipped, dragging the rest of his body down into the hole. He landed on his right side, slamming his shoulder against the hard, frozen ground. “Shit,” he mumbled, regaining his footing. Throbbing in his shoulder was immediate. There’d be a deep bruise by morning. He was lucky it hadn’t dislocated with that impact.
“Reed, you okay?” Wade asked, appearing at the edge of the hole.
The top of the hole was about two feet above him. His fingers barely grazed the top and the snow at the edge wouldn’t support his weight. “Careful along the edge, we don’t want it to give way.”
Wade lay on his stomach and extended his arms over the edge. “Grab my hands.”
“No disrespect, Wade, but I’m two hundred pounds with fifty pounds of gear.” The slightly older man was maybe one fifty. He was strong, but Reed doubted he could hoist him out.
Luckily, Tyler appeared right beside him. “I’m sure Hercules here has everything under control, but I have a hot date tonight, so quit messing around and get out of there,” he said.
Reed removed his gear and tossed it high to Tyler.
Then both men gripped a forearm and pulled him up. He winced at the pain in his shoulder and rotated it several times. “Thanks,” he said, glancing down the rest of the trail. Were there any more surprises along the way?
“Rethinking this now, aren’t you?” Tyler said.
“Yes,” Reed said. “I don’t trust that there aren’t more of these.” He rotated his shoulder again. The impact of the fall had him already feeling pain through his arm and chest. He didn’t think anything was broken, but breathing was becoming slightly labored. “What do you think of taking the west trail down?” he asked, pointing to a different path, closer to the mountain’s edge.
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