Island Side

by Michelle Mankin

  “Was he protecting you when he passed on the information about Maria Castel to Samuel?”

  “We don’t know for sure that was him.” I dropped my gaze to my lap. The coffee inside my stomach began to swirl like my thoughts.

  “He had access to the information,” Olivia said in a matter-of-fact tone. She’d made no secret of the fact that she believed Max was guilty of that betrayal.

  “Who else could it have been, Hols?” my sister asked, and I glanced up to find her gaze on me. Her expression was sad. “It wasn’t me or Ash or Olivia. It had to be him.”

  The tears that welled in my eyes burned, stinging bitterly like that truth did. This was the first time Fanny had voiced that opinion.

  “His priority was always me.” My hand shook, making the coffee in my mug slosh precariously against the rim. “He loved me. I don’t doubt that.”

  I couldn’t doubt that.

  I lifted my chin, catching the looks that Fanny, Ash, Ernie, and Olivia exchanged. It hurt that they were united in their disbelief, but they didn’t know Max the way I had. They didn’t know that the mistake was mine, that I hadn’t loved him properly.

  “This is pointless. She needs time. There’s no reasoning with her,” Olivia announced after a long, uncomfortable pause.

  “I’m not impaired.”

  “You need rest. I freed up your calendar for a while.” My agent’s tone was as firm as her expression.

  My brows snapped together. “I didn’t authorize you to do that.”

  “I asked her to.” Fanny’s hands fluttered nervously.

  “You had no right,” I said, and she winced. She had to know she would get blowback from me for interfering.

  “It’s for the best.” Fanny appeared as resolute as Olivia.

  “What makes you so sure?” I narrowed my gaze.

  “A lot of reasons, but mostly because I’m concerned for you.”

  “I’m pregnant. I’m not incapacitated.”

  “I know you’re not, but it’s not healthy what you’re doing to yourself. Flitting about like a ghost. Barely interacting with us. Not taking care of yourself. Defending a man who . . .” Looking troubled, Fanny sighed. “You’re not even happy about the pregnancy, are you?”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt. Mostly like everything else, I tried to avoid thinking about it.

  “Hollie.” Her eyes filled. “There’s a brittleness in you I’ve never seen before. Not even after we lost Mom. I’m afraid for you. Afraid you might shatter if I say the wrong thing to you. I know you think getting right back to work and being busy is best for you, but I think you need to consider taking a big step back from everything.”

  “That’s what you think is best.”

  “I think she’s right,” Ash said.

  “You’ve been talking about me behind my back.” Hurt, I cast my accusation wide to include all of them.

  “We’re worried about you, honey,” Fanny said softly. “We’re not trying to gang up on you. We’re just trying to help you.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “I’m not so sure, and anyway, we don’t think it’s safe for you to be here by yourself.”

  “It’s a secure building.”

  “Not secure enough.” A shadow darkened Ash’s ocean-blue gaze. I knew he felt responsible for what happened with Max since he’d been the one who had initially hired him. “We’ve all learned that no security is failproof against your stepfather.”

  “Locks won’t stop him. When has anything ever stopped him? He has no boundaries where you’re concerned.” Fanny hit me with a pleading look. “He’s obsessed with you. It’s pathological.”

  “Samuel did what he set out to do. He’s made me miserable in my own life, just like he said he would.” I dropped my chin.

  “You can change your life,” Fanny said, and I lifted my gaze to look at her. “You’re in control of your own happiness, Hols. He can’t take that away from you unless you let him.”

  She was right. At one time, I’d known she was right. I just couldn’t summon the strength to believe it anymore.

  “What do you suggest I do?”

  “Get away for a while, far away from Samuel and all of this stress, and just be.”

  Fanny stood and moved in front of me. Dropping to her knees, she took the coffee mug away and set it on the table behind her. She turned back to me and gathered my hands.

  “Olivia’s arranged for you to have time off. You should take it.”

  “I don’t know,” I said softly, afraid to be alone with my thoughts. “I don’t know where to go.”

  “Diesel’s invited you to come out to his place.”

  “Stay with Diesel?” My brows rose. That didn’t sound like a good idea.

  “No one’s going to mess with Diesel,” Ash said, and I couldn’t argue with his logic.

  “I agree with Ash,” Ernie said, nodding his head reflectively. “But who’s going to protect Hollie from Diesel?”

  “I don’t need protection. From him or anyone else. I just want to be left alone.”

  “The ocean. The sunshine. The distance from here.” Fanny ignored my protest, her tone as gentle as her grip on my fingers. “Hawaii will do you good.”

  “But—”

  “You’re going.” Fanny squeezed my hands. Apparently, she was deciding for me. “Process. Think. Relax. Unwind. Meditate. I insist. What you decide to do with your life afterward is up to you.”

  Diesel

  At the airport, I sat on the Ninja by the curb. My feet bouncing on the pavement, I was second-guessing everything.

  Why had Hollie agreed to come?

  Why had I even invited her here?

  To help her, I reminded myself. To give her an opportunity to heal far away from that waste of oxygen that masquerades as her stepfather.

  Sure, she pissed me the hell off half the time. But she turned me on the other half.

  A lie.

  Okay, she turned me on all the time. That was why. And maybe there might be a small part of me that empathized with what she was going through, even if I didn’t like that she was going through it over another guy.

  But mostly I just wanted to fuck her.

  Staring at the arriving passenger area, I pretended I wasn’t on the edge of my seat, but I certainly was. My focus tightened as a fresh stream of people wearing straw hats and backpacks slung over their shoulders emerged. Most squinted at the intensity of the tropical sun.

  I narrowed my gaze at her as she appeared. The brilliance of her eclipsed everything.

  Hollie wore a white sundress that clung to her smoking curves and flip-flops on her dainty feet. She seemed to gravitate toward simpler fashion when she was away from the label-conscious snobbery of LA. Over one shoulder was slung a crossbody bag, traveling light, according to Fanny, who gave me strict instructions to behave myself when she called me with Hollie’s flight arrangements.

  Her moonbeam hair was tied back into a ponytail. Pushing her sunglasses on top of her head, she paused as a little girl wearing a glittery pink feathery boa stopped in front of her. Her lips framing a smile that didn’t animate her pretty gray eyes, Hollie said something to the girl, but I was too far away to hear.

  The child beamed as she handed her notebook and a pen to Hollie. Her tiny fan chirped excitedly while she signed her autograph. When the notebook and pen were returned, the little girl threw her arms around her idol’s waist.

  There was a moment of hesitation. In that moment, Hollie’s I’m okay mask slipped, and the despair that had mirrored her bleak clothes at the graveside returned.

  No, not returned. It remained. Like my own, it remained. Only with time would she get better at hiding it.

  “Hey, Holliewood,” I shouted, and she turned. The fake smile faded into wariness when she saw me. “Get a move on before they kick me out of the waiting zone.”

  She nodded. Saying good-bye to the girl, Hollie waved to the parents standing nearby and then finally moved toward
me. I scanned her from top to bottom, bottom to top, entranced with the show of her sexy body in motion.

  “Hi,” she said as she stopped beside me, eyeing the bike dubiously. “I thought you were picking me up.”

  “This is me picking you up, babe.”

  “I’m not getting on that thing.” Her cute little brows drawing together, she stamped a hand to her curvy hip.

  “You wanna walk?” I fired back.

  “Um, no,” she sputtered. “I’ll call an Uber or something.”

  Frustrated, I scowled at her. “It’ll take any car service you hire at least forty-five minutes to get here,” I said, spouting the logistical shit I made up on the spot as if it were vetted truth. It pissed me off she wasn’t as excited about getting on the bike as I was to have her on it.

  Hollie scowled back. “Well, I’m wearing a dress, and I don’t know how to ride a motorcycle, anyway. So I guess I’ll just wait.”

  “You can tuck the hem around your thighs.”

  “How will I keep it there? Don’t I need to hold on to something to keep from falling off?”

  “You’ll hold on to me.” I grinned as her brows rose. “No one’s gonna see more than they would at the beach when you’re in a bikini.”

  “But I don’t have any experience.”

  “You don’t need to know how to ride. I’m doing all the driving.” I gave my explanation while thinking of a much different scenario. My erection grew, straining the ripstop material of my board shorts.

  “I don’t have a helmet.”

  “It’s not required when you’re over eighteen in Hawaii.” My impatience made me gruff. Plus, I rarely had to put any effort into getting a woman to do exactly what I wanted anymore. “You’re legal for all kinds of things now, aren’t you?”

  Deliberately, I gave her body a slow scan, feeling my lips curl from what my eyes took in. Prettiest chick with the hottest body I’d ever seen, not that I would ever tell her. Hollie probably had people blowing smoke up her ass about her looks all the time.

  “Yeah. Sure.” Her eyes seemed to go unfocused. As her hand slid low over her stomach, she suddenly looked a little green.

  “Get on the fucking bike, babe.” I barked the order, not liking her reaction. Did the idea of being with me make her physically ill? “You’re wasting my time.”

  “All right.” Hollie jolted out of her trance, her eyes narrowing. She didn’t like being bossed around.

  Too fucking bad. I wasn’t a pushover like the bodyguard. Her gray thundercloud gaze met its match in my narrowed brown one.

  “Put your hand on my shoulder, throw your leg over the seat, and hop the fuck on. It’s not rocket science, and I don’t have all day.”

  “Okay,” she said, and I felt like I’d won another Grammy instead of just her agreement. “You don’t have to yell at me.”

  “This isn’t me yelling, Pelehonuamea. If I’m yelling, I’m way the hell pissed off. I don’t suggest you continue giving me shit right now, or we’re gonna go there, right the fuck here and now. You feel me?”

  “I feel you.” She muttered something under her breath as she shuffled over.

  The instant she put her delicate hand on my shoulder, a bolt of lust blasted away all thoughts of irritation. The desire to have her thickened my blood and my erection.

  Hollie seemed to be affected by the undeniable chemistry between us too. She drew in a sharp breath, and as her fingers grazed my skin over my right shoulder, heat shot through me. My muscles swelled. My entire body tensed like an overtightened bass string.

  “I didn’t realize your wave tattoo scrolled all the way back here to your shoulder blade.” Her voice had dropped to a lower, huskier octave that wound the sensual tension inside me tighter.

  “Well, it does,” I said lamely. It was difficult to be as clever as I usually was when all the blood in my body seemed to have gone straight to my dick.

  “It’s nice. I mean, I noticed it before. I’ve just never seen it up close until now.”

  A quip was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell Hollie that I had something much better to show her than my tat, but I had a higher priority. I needed to get her out of the fucking airport. I could feel the stares of more than a few pointed our way. Not because of me; the folks on the island were used to me. They’d known me since I was a kid. They didn’t give a shit that I was in a successful rock band.

  “Leg on the bike, darlin’. I appreciate the compliment, and we can talk more about you having a closer look later, but for now, let’s get outta here.” I gentled my tone, remembering my dad’s advice to treat her differently.

  “Okay,” she said.

  As I processed surprise that the gentleness worked, she worked her sensual magic on me. Her hands glided warmth through the cotton tank I wore. Skimming her fingers over my shoulders and lower, she gripped my arms below my biceps and climbed on the bike. More lust pumped into me as she settled in behind me, her feet effortlessly seeming to find the metal bars to rest on.

  “You’ll need to get closer and put your arms around my waist.” I was completely revved up. She’d gotten me to the point of seriousness fast. My cock was practically weeping for her to slide her hands lower and grip it.

  When she scooted forward and complied, I gulped fire into my throat. Swallowing hard, I put one of my hands over hers and squeezed.

  “Tighter, babe.” Fucking shit, I was primed. “Don’t want you to fall off once I get going. It might get rough.”

  Oh, hell yeah.

  Rough sex with her? My mind went hazy imagining it, which wasn’t difficult to do with her amazing rack pressed into my back and the rest of her shapely body fitted to me like a glove.

  Reluctantly, I managed to refocus, released her slender fingers, and cranked the engine. It roared to life, the fire of it matching the internal one inside me. If Hollie hadn’t been going through what she was going through, if I thought for a minute she would allow me to go where I wanted to go with her, I would have rolled the Ninja into the first semi-private spot that came along, gotten her off the bike, flipped her dress up, and pounded my cock into her.

  At the mere thought of it, I groaned.

  “Did you say something?” she asked, her mouth near my ear, her warm breath sliding silky heat into it.

  Fuck me.

  Maybe this hadn’t been such a brilliant idea. How was I going to dismount the Ninja when we arrived at the house without her noticing how eager I was to mount her?

  I zipped away from the curb with a little too much speed, putting my high-tops down on the pavement at the stop light at the end of the road before I thought of something inane to ask her.

  “Can you slide your bag to your back? It’s digging into my spine.”

  “Of course.” Hollie relinquished her hold on my waist, but not the reins on my libido that she thankfully didn’t seem to realize she controlled.

  “Better?” she asked, adjusting her crossbody and sliding her arms back into position around me. Her hands settled way too close to the top edge of my board shorts, where a monster erection strained to get out.

  “Tolerably.” My reply was as guttural as the need that told me to fuck it all and just take her.

  I didn’t wait for her to say anything else. Her tits were stamped to my back. Her nipples were tight tipped, scoring my skin and underscoring my desire.

  I told myself that I liked the current situation as I turned the Ninja onto the highway, and she pressed her heated contours closer. I imagined that this dance along the edge of my control would make her eventual surrender to me all the sweeter.

  The challenge would be not to spontaneously combust before that inevitable reality occurred.

  Hollie

  On the Mamalahoa Highway, I held on to Diesel, resting my cheek on his back between his strong shoulders. I inhaled deeply and breathed in his tantalizing plumeria-and-coconut scent. To myself, I admitted I liked being on the back of his motorcycle, and that it had nothing to do with the novel
ty of the experience or the fact that I’d been inside an airport and airplanes all day.

  I liked the big island of Hawaii too. It was green and lush. The sapphire blue of the water and the verdant emerald of the topography that I’d seen from my window as the plane landed had exceeded my expectations.

  A warm, humid ocean breeze streamed through my hair. Banyan, coconut, banana, and palm trees dotted the landscape, so different from anything I’d ever experienced, reminding me—as if I could forget after my long travel day—that I was miles and miles away from everything and everyone I knew.

  I spotted some ’ohi’a lehua, the thistle blossom that shone a shiny fiery red among the leaves of a gnarled ’ohi’a tree. I’d read about the legend associated with it in the literature on the plane. In the story, two lovers, ’Ohi’a, the man, and Lehua, the woman, had been separated in life, but were joined together eternally. One was the tree, and the other the flower. It was said that if you pick lehua, the flower, from ’ohi’a, the tree would cry, and his tears would manifest as rain.

  Tears had certainly pricked my eyes from the fanciful story, and the knowledge that Max and I were forever separated. I felt guilty enjoying the breathtaking scenery that he never would. Fanny thought mourning him the way I did was excessive, but attempting to move on with my life without him felt wrong too.

  I tipped my chin up to the wind to stave off another crying jag.

  A shadow fell over us from the Mauna Kea volcano. The thirteen-thousand-foot somber gray crater punctured the blissful blue sky. Its starkness against the softer setting that surrounded it seemed to reflect my emotion.

  Why had I agreed to come?

  I was as guilt-ridden here as I’d been inside my condo. Though maybe I did feel a little less enveloped in sadness.

  I pulled in a fortifying breath, a deeper one, and maybe I did hug Diesel a little too noticeably tight as I struggled with my emotions. He put his foot down at the light and glanced back at me.

  “You doing all right back there?” His head turning brushed an ebony curl from his low ponytail into my face.