Cutting it Close

by Olivia Gaines

  “Because you already have nettle barbs on your hands, and you will only re-infect the area we just sterilized,” she told her.

  Gloves on her hands, she stepped behind Chantal, bent down, and applied a handful of gooey crème. The feel of the goo in her girl parts elicited a groan from Chantal. “That is the worst feeling ever,” she moaned.

  “No, the worst feeling ever is sticking my hand in that human forest. Girl, when was the last time you trimmed that bush?”

  Chantal, doubly embarrassed, reached for her pants.

  “You have to air it out,” Taylah laughed. “Although, it is going to be difficult to sit in here with you looking like you have a young Grizzly Adams stuck between your legs. That is a lot of hair. You into fetishes or something?”

  “No, I just haven’t dated for a while,” she confessed.

  “So who are you waiting for, a Yeti or his cousins? That’s a lot of hair on a coochie. I almost want to give it a pet name like Fuzzy Jones or something,” Taylah said. She removed the glove and turned quickly, striking a pose with her leg in the air. “Good evening, gentlemen. I would like to introduce you to my little friend, Fuzzy Jones.” She used her hands Vanna White style to emphasize her crotch.

  “Taylah, it’s not funny,” Chantal said as she pulled off her pants and underwear.

  “Oh yeah, it is,” Taylah gasped. “Maybe we could make a movie and call it the Adventures of Fuzzy Jones. No face, just that hairy monster. We can make a cinema short, Fuzzy Goes Hiking, or Fuzzy Jones: Back to Nature.”

  Taylah grabbed her phone.

  Chantal grabbed a blanket.

  “You are not going to make videos of my vagina!”

  “Oh why not? No one has seen that thing in a while. Who would recognize it? I think it went into the witness protection program about six years ago. See, it grew a beard and everything.” Taylah said. “Anyhoo, later we are going to have to shave it so the skin can breathe while it heals from the rash. Your hands are going to be bound so you can’t touch anything, so I am going to have to get to know that hairy heffah!”

  Chantal was shaking her head. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening.

  “You are lucky that I came along on this trip. What if it was just you and my brother...out here all alone....,” she said. Her eyes got wide, “I got it! We can call it Fuzzy Jones meets Cousin It!”

  “I hate you,” Chantal said quietly. “Can we talk about something else?”

  “Sure, Fuzzy. Let’s go, but first I need my wine,” she told her.

  As Taylah left the tent to retrieve her chair, Chantal called out, “Tell me about you.”

  “Me?” Taylah asked as she returned to the tent. “I own a small boutique right off 125th Street filled with exotic spices, clothing, and collectibles from all around the world.”

  “Wow, that is exciting,” she responded to Taylah.

  “Nah, not really. My folks had too much crap in the basement and I needed a job. Basement crap plus storefront equals instant business, so there,” she said.

  “How does your husband feel about your store?”

  “What husband? It’s just me and that boy who seems to grow an inch every day. I mean seriously, I’m going to have to text him soon just to get a message to his head he is so damned tall,” Taylah said.

  “His dad must be tall,” Chantal said, looking for something to cover the chair so she could take a seat.

  “Maasai. His father was Maasai. Mejooli was his name. A fierce warrior in his head, a couch potato in much of his life. We were to be married,” she said.

  “I’m sorry,” Chantal said. “May I ask what happened?”

  “Don’t be sorry. He was careless and got eaten by a lion,” Chantal said nonchalantly. She sipped more wine.

  “What?” Chantal blinked. “I thought I heard you say he got eaten by a lion.”

  “He did,” she said. “Lion hunting is an ancient Maasai tradition that only the Ilmeluaya, that means fearless warriors, are to undertake. These fearless warriors are chosen by the older warriors, or what is called the Ilmorijo, to go on the lion hunt.”

  “He must have been very brave to be chosen to go on the hunt,” Chantal said.

  “Girl, Mejooli wasn’t no warrior. That fool grew up in the Bronx. His father is Maasai and they went home for the summer. Instead of him backing off and saying ‘Hey, I can barely hunt down something to eat in my own kitchen,’ he decided to make his father proud and go on the hunt. I told him, ‘You have been drafted to the NBA; he is already proud. What the hell you got on a Shúkà running around the brush?’”

  Chantal was quiet.

  “He never got to meet Simel. I found out I was pregnant right after he landed in Kenya. He never knew he was a father,” she said softly. “It hasn’t been bad. My dad has been great. Omari has been there every step of the way and thank God. No man wants to date a woman with a six foot tall 12-year-old. And that ninja is still growing!”

  Taylah paused and then asked, “What about Cody’s father?”

  “A smooth talking married man who momentarily blinded me on the meaning of love because I didn’t know how to love myself,” Chantal said.

  “Dang Girl, you don’t pull any punches do you?”

  “Nope, I am an accountant,” Chantal said with a smile.

  “What the hell was that? Was that a smile? I think I saw a smile,” Taylah teased.

  It was the first of the trip, but not the last. By the time the burning and itching had ceased, Chantal was finally able to put on some clean underpants and a sheet was used to make her a skirt. The boys were trying to catch fish for dinner at the lake’s edge while Taylah and Chantal were asked to find more kindling and firewood for the night. It went well until the twig Chantal picked up began to move in her hand. Instead of dropping it, she took off running a full speed right past Omari and the boys and straight into the lake.

  Cody looked at his mother flopping about in the water almost squeezing the life out of the poor little garter snake.

  “Dang, she just scared the fish. I’ve only caught two so far and they’re small. It won’t be enough to get us full for dinner,” Cody said with a frown.

  Chantel sat in the water with the sheet floating up around her waist like a busted hot air balloon. She threw the little snake toward the shore in one direction while she crawled back to the water’s edge in the other. Her blouse clung to her to body. Omari’s back was to her, but he tugged his tee from his pants, pulling the wet shirt over his head. He turned enough for her to see that he actually had abs, just the right amount of chest hair, and an innie belly button sitting over a small trail of black hair that trailed into his pants. She flopped back down in the water to cool her lady parts. She had not expected him to be so virile under that barber’s smock.

  “Ma, I am trying to be a hunter slash gatherer here. You just scared our dinner away,” Cody admonished her. “What is that white stuff coming out from under that sheet? It’s floating on the water like sour cream.”

  She growled at her son and made her way back to the tents. Omari’s body was wracking with laughter as he tried not to look at her. He knew what the crème was and why it was used.

  As the first day came to a close, she sat at the campfire, her hair bushy from the unplanned swim in the lake and her fingers bandaged like mittens. Chantal started to laugh. The laughter continued while Cody had to feed her like a baby bird since she couldn’t use her hands. Her vajayjay was still full of some sort of crème that was providing a warming sensation that was making Omari Cromwell look more handsome by the second. Dinner consisted of fresh fried fish, boiled corn and beans that she knew were going to give her gas all night. After dinner, she lay on her cot being shaven by the man’s sister as images floated in her mind of him changing his shirt by the edge of the lake. She really thought that Taylah was cutting it close with the razor as her fingers were touching and grazing parts that were hidden by what she said was a mountain of curly baby afros. Before Chantal k
new it, something happened that hadn’t occurred for her in many years. Her body responded to Taylah’s touches. She bit into the back of her arm as a moan escaped her lips while the wave of pleasure washed over her and she shuddered through the release.

  “Oooh, that’s just not right,” Taylah said with a snarl as she jumped up from the cot. “I don’t believe you, Chantal!”

  Chantal closed her eyes, “I’m so embarrassed.”

  “If that did it for you, Girl, we are going to go shopping for some toys, or when you heal, have my brother make a service call to you or something. I mean I am cute and all, but I know you aren’t into me like that.”

  Chantal threw her arms across her eyes. “No, I truly am hating you. Even more so right now,” she said. Her knees were pressed together trying to calm the fury that had been awakened in her.

  Taylah twisted her lips. “No, you don’t. You like me a lot... and my magic fingers.”

  Omari called out into the night air from his tent, “You ladies get to bed and get some sleep.”

  Chantal curled into a ball of mortification, just hoping she could get through Sunday without any more mishaps. Even though she thought she was talking to herself, she was talking out loud. I don’t believe that just happened. I am going to die of embarrassment. I’m not even remotely attracted to her.

  “Chantal,” Taylah said. “You are probably more relaxed than you have been in a while. Your body was only responding to some much need stimuli. Don’t make it weird and it won’t be weird. We are cool, okay?”

  “Okay,” was again the only words she could muster as she rolled to her side and fell asleep. It was strange. It felt odd.

  I am starting to like the peculiar.

  To her surprise, the crème Taylah used stopped the spread of the rash and Sunday morning was a new day. The guys returned after first light with a string of fish that had been cleaned by the lake and were ready for pan searing. Still unable to use her hands to feed herself, Chantal was happy the rash also had not spread on her fingers. Fresh wrappings were applied to her hands as she dressed herself then helped breakdown the tents.

  Breakfast was filled with laughter and smiles. A different Cody was present and enjoying himself with his new friend. The meal was sparse with fish, berries, lumpy oatmeal and granola, but it was satisfying. After the dishes were cleaned and stowed away, the vehicle was loaded with all the gear and the group left the lake by 8:30 in the morning, headed back to the city. Chantal sat quietly in the passenger seat smiling to herself. It had been fun. She could not remember a time in her life when she’d actually had genuine fun. She glanced at Omari and smiled.

  “So, are you planning to get my sister’s number?” he asked then pressed his lips tightly together.

  “Funny, real funny,” she said.

  “You two seemed to really hit it off...especially by the sounds coming from that tent last night,” he said to her.

  Insincerity, lies, and half-truths were not her style. Her world had never been filled with reasons to be anything other than honest, so it as the only way she knew to be. Whether her next statement was going to be to her benefit or detriment, she felt he needed to understand her truth.

  “I am going to be honest with you, Omari,” she said.

  “Please do,” he countered.

  “I was overstimulated. I am an accountant. The most exciting thing that happens in my day is that I find an out of place zero,” she confessed.

  “Since you are being honest, was that all?”

  “No,” she exhaled. “Your shirt was off, and I must say you are really physically fit. My mind drifted and it’s been a while...” she stopped and dropped her head. “I am so mortified.”

  “Don’t be. We are human and we all need to have that human touch to remind us that we are not alone,” he said.

  “That’s a nice way to put it,” she responded. She sat and waited for him to make the move she was dreading. The one statement that was going to prove that he too was a monster in a closet waiting to stand over her bed while she slept. Instead he surprised her.

  “So...you gonna ask for her number?” he asked with a laugh.

  “Oh, shut up!’

  They arrived at Chantal’s front door a few minutes past noon. Cody was still yammering 15 miles a minute with Simel, but he stopped briefly to throw his arms around Omari. “Thank you for a cool weekend,” he said with a smile.

  Omari’s eyes went to Chantal as his arm went around Cody’s small frame. A paternal instinct kicked in and he planted a light kiss on the boy’s head. “I am here when you need me,” he said to Cody as he pulled away.

  The words were there but Chantal could not make herself say them. Will you be there if I need you too?

  “Mr. Omari?” Cody called.

  “Yes, Cody?”

  “You don’t have to eat dinner alone anymore if you don’t want to...,” he told him.

  “That is probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Omari said. He gave them both a small salute as Taylah rolled down the front window of the vehicle and blew a kiss at Chantal.

  “Call me, Boo!” she said with a guffaw of laughter as she licked then wiggled her fingers at her.

  “I’m still hating you!” Chantal yelled at the rolling vehicle.

  “No you don’t...you like me a lot!” Taylah called back, still wiggling two fingers at her.

  Chantal started to giggle.

  “Wow, Ma, I don’t think I have ever heard you laugh,” Cody said. “Mr. Omari is a good guy.”

  “Yes, he is,” she told her son as the doorman helped with their things. It had been a great weekend after all.

  Chapter 16 All in the family...

  Thurston leaned against the kitchen counter. holding a hot cup of coffee, his feet crossed at the ankles. His mind wandered back to the explosive night he had shared with his wife. Each time they loved each other, it only became better and better as she learned to trust him and follow his lead. Last night he found himself awakened in the middle of the night by Tae-Tay purring in her sleep. He was not one to judge. After the intense coupling, he didn’t even want to be touched his body parts were so sensitive. He curled up on his side holding the pillow, waiting for his wife to tuck him in. It was an all-out, no holds barred match of oh yeah.

  “Oh yeah,” he said aloud.

  “Oh yeah what, Daddy?” Douglas asked.

  “Nothing son, I’m just getting my bearings this morning,” he said to the boy.

  “Are bearings anything like cereal? If so, I am going to get me some bearings, too, with some milk and blueberries,” he said as he made his way to the pantry, the little ball of fur following along at his every step.

  On the counter was the completed petition to put Thurston’s name on the ballot for the general election in November. Roger Williams had already paid the filing fees, but there were the little matters of a campaign headquarters, a campaign manager, an accountant management team, and a staff. If it was going to happen, he needed to get moving. What am I thinking? It is happening. I just need to get my butt in gear.

  “Tay, we need to throw a little get together with family and friends so that they know I am running for Congress,” he said.

  She poured herself a cup of coffee but her legs felt weak after last night. She was a tad bit sore but her eyes had sparkle in them. “I’m ready for whatever you want to dish out, husband,” she said with a wink.

  “You oughtta stop. That’s what got you in trouble last night,” he said as he licked his bottom lip.

  “Trouble don’t scare me none,” she told him.

  “Good, you think we can scare up some family this Saturday night, some heavy hors de oeuvres, wine, a couple of bottles of something old, because I have kick start my team.”

  “Consider it done,” she told him.

  He sat the cup down to wrap his arm about her shoulder. “I love you, you know that?”

  “I love you, too,” she said as she clung to him.

 
“Does anybody love me and Spiderman?” Douglas asked.

  “Of course,” he said. “How could anyone not love a little bundle of wonderful like you,” Thurston said as he grabbed his briefcase. A light kiss was planted on Douglas’ head. Thurston bent low to tickle Spiderman behind the ears. The puppy licked his hand. “I’ll be home around seven tonight; don’t hold dinner.” He rose slowly, groaning from the soreness as he reached for his wife, kissed her on the lips, growled a bit, and headed out the front door.

  “Good Lawd!” Tae-Tay said as her hand ran down her throat, feeling the warm spot where his mouth had left a mark of passion. There were a few other ones on her thighs as well. “Thank you for my many blessings,” she said as she poured another cup of coffee, popped some toast in the toaster, and joined her son for breakfast.

  Amber Carlisle was the first to notice the smile that continuously crept onto Chantal’s face. It was so uncharacteristic of her that both partners started to worry. By lunchtime, Malika Burns walked into the office, closed the door, and took a seat in front of Chantal’s desk.

  Malika asked, “What did you do, put Cody in military school?”

  “No,” she said with a grin. “We went camping with a friend over the weekend.”

  “Who went camping?” Amber wanted to know as she slid inside the doorway and also took a seat.

  “We. Me, Cody, and some friends went camping this weekend. It was a horrific mess. I got into stinging nettles, I thought I was picking up a twig and picked up a snake, and then I ran face first into a lake and those are the good parts,” she told her partners.

  Malika asked, “I assume there was a man involved?”

  “It wasn’t like that. This was all about Cody. The man in this case is like a Big Brother to him and it is helping Cody a lot. I’m seeing noticeable changes in my son’s behavior and I’m really pleased, which is why I’m smiling. You know he actually took out the trash this morning without an argument!” she said.

  Amber crossed her legs, “So dish, Honey. How fine is he?”

  Chantal grinned, “It’s not like that.”