Affaire de Coeur

by Stephanie O’Hanlon

  I nodded. My voice low, almost to myself, I said, “What business is it of theirs.”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  I smeared my lips together as I looked up at him. “So, why are you now out in society once again? Why rejoin and have all those eyes upon you?”

  “At first,” he started, looking at his hands cupped before him. “It was, as always, to please my grandmother. The Vicomtesse has invited me to many of her gatherings. To snub her so many times would show my contempt for her and therefore start a feud that would be blown out of proportion. So, I agreed to go but only stay for a few minutes. Then…I saw you from across the room.”

  I nodded, turning away from him. “So, why continue going? Those—I heard that you were quite active within the scene afterward.”

  “Honestly,” he said, looking back at his hands, “I was hoping I would see you, again. I thought because you were with the Marquis’s daughter, you would have been there with her at all the fêtes I saw her at. I was dismayed when you did not arrive as well, at least for those I was present at.”

  “Oh,” I said, thinking back to those nights I told Colette I did not want to go out. I could have seen Lucien if I hadn’t been foolish enough to want to stay home!

  He walked over to me, grabbed my hands, and turned me toward him. “That is why I asked to have you invited to the performance. I could not get you off my mind, just as I am having trouble, now.”

  “Well, could that not simply be because I am standing right in front of you?” I asked, trying to be reasonable.

  “It could,” he nodded, “but then, why do you not leave my mind when I leave the room? When I am in my carriage, when I am hunting, when I’m supping with my grandmother?”

  I sighed, shaking my head. “All right, you have me there.”

  “Do I, Madeleine? Do I really have you?”

  I looked up to him. His eyes met with mine, showing a type of emotion I never seen before. What it was, I had no idea, but I knew it was something significant.

  “Why would you want me?” I asked, my heart beginning to beat slowly and loudly in my ears, and my hands started to shake.

  “Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, almost as if the answer was obvious.

  My brow furrowed. “Is the answer right in front of me?”

  He sighed. “Madeleine, if…I was hoping that you would be as enthusiastic as I am about this, but if you think it will be too difficult—”

  “No, oh no.” I shook my head, walking close to him. I was so close, I could smell his cologne overwhelming my perfume. “Please, I just…this whole time, I was worried that you would think things difficult, and you are worried that I will?”

  He nodded. “Well, let us be honest. Things will be difficult. I need to have a reason to be here every day, and that reason cannot be to see you. Though, that is the real reason. I may seem mad, but I think it is worth the difficulty.”

  Oh, I thought it was most certainly worth the difficulty. My heart sped up as his words filled my ears. The very thought of Lucien thinking I was worth it sent me into a frenzy of delight.

  I smiled, nodding, and his hand came up and stroked my cheek softly. “I will understand if you do not wish to get involved with a Comte.”

  I looked up to him and rested my hand on top of his, on my cheek. All my words escaped me once again, but that didn’t matter. He leaned into me, pressing his lips against my own, and kissing me passionately, slowly. Once again, I felt everything in me want to scream. My skin flushed red hot and my knees shook. All the while, stars exploded in front of my eyes, and my head was spinning dizzily.

  Will a kiss from Lucien always be like this? Stopping time around us?

  I was the one to end our kiss, though everything within me groaned in frustration at such a thing.

  “We cannot start this, now. Someone could walk in.”

  He nodded, stepping away from me. A cool breath of air surrounded me and calmed my heart slightly, washing his cologne out of my nose.

  “Let us go out to the terrace. I am sure Étienne and Colette will be suspicious if we do not make an appearance.”

  Chapter Eleven

  We all sat in the parlor, an awkward tension in the air. Colette and I sat on the sofa, Lucien on the armchair to my left, and Étienne on the armchair to Colette’s right.

  Lucien and I had not a moment to lose when we left the stateroom. Colette and Étienne were already in the dining room and met us half way, inquiring if we all wanted to sit up in the parlor for tea. For appearances sake, yes, we did. This didn’t stop everything in me from screaming out. Lucien sat mere feet away from me, and there was no way to stifle my emotions.

  I glanced over to Lucien, pursing my lips together as he smirked at me. He was obviously aware of the tension that was pushing against the walls from the silence.

  Colette cleared her throat. Shifting on the sofa, her silk gown swished about her. “So, Comte. Rumor has it you frequent court,” she said, turning to Lucien.

  I held my breath, knowing that the topic of court was not something Lucien was passionate about. Although, I myself had questions on the matter. Could I ask him such questions, now that I was his lady of interest?

  He sighed, nodding. “You have heard correctly. I hunt with the King on occasion. The Dauphin enjoys such things as history and geography. I have also dabbled in those studies and find them interesting.”

  She laughed. “Well, one must find our little social group boring compared to mingling with royalty.”

  He shrugged. “They are just like other people, like the rest of us. Why should a title set them so far apart from us? Though divinely chosen, they still breathe. Still seek the pleasure of company in their equals, so to speak, as no one is truly equal to the King of France.”

  Étienne didn’t seem to know what to say. Even Colette was at a loss for words on where to steer the conversation.

  I smiled lightly. “Well, a turn around the grounds? I could use the air, especially on such a beautiful day. Who knows when the weather will turn?”

  I stood. Lucien quickly sprung up with Colette and Étienne following.

  “Yes, well… Étienne, I actually have something I wish to speak to you about. It just sprang to mind. Why don’t you and Lucien go ahead of us, Maddy?” Colette stood close to Étienne, linking her arm through his.

  I smiled and turned to Lucien, who held his arm out for me and led me happily out of the room. Brielle caught us before we exited the salon, handing me my shawl—a pattern similar to my gown. It was white, though with violet flowers, not tiny pink buds.

  Lucien held it out for me, wrapping it around me. Our eyes met before I whispered, “The hedge maze.”

  We made our way across the terrace and down the steps, walking along the path and over to the hedge maze. My heart quickly jumped as his hand grabbed hold of mine as soon as we were out of sight in the maze. We twisted around, making our way through until I thought it safe from outside eyes and ears.

  “This is quite disorienting.” He laughed. “How do you not get lost?”

  “Colette and I have played in this maze since we were children,” I smiled as we came to the first stone bench, stopping and turning to him. “This is the first of five benches on this side and to the left of the center bench and center of the maze. Of course, on the right has another five benches with various different paths to them.”

  He laughed. “Well, then. I will just need to make sure that you are my guide whenever I venture here.”

  I suddenly felt the summer heat swirling around me. This second full week of June was quite warm, and it was only expected to get worse throughout the summer months.

  Lucien looked at my hands before licking his lips. He looked back at me, almost unsure how to word whatever he was thinking about. “Must we be so…formal?”

  My brow creased in confusion. “Formal?”

  “Yes,” he nodded. “I feel as if you would jump back if I were to do something you might see as unexpected—touc
hing your hand, stroking your cheek, kissing you.”

  I frowned lightly, and my face blushed scarlet.

  “I suppose it is a bit intimidating, though,” he continued. “This is quite sudden—”

  I quickly kissed him, cutting him off from his thought. Though, he didn’t seem to mind. He grabbed hold of me in his arms tightly, and my shawl fell to the ground.

  I didn’t know if it was from the moment or the immense heat from the summer sun above us, but sweat gathered on my forehead, and an immense hot flash ran over my skin. My breathing picked up, and his hands ran over my back and to my waist, holding me close to him. I had to pull away from him, separate our bodies nearly completely due to the sudden faint from the intense heat.

  He took my hand, panting just as heavily as I was. “Are you all right? Do you want to sit down?”

  “I think I should,” I said, turning to the stone bench and stumbling over to it.

  He picked up my shawl from the ground, sat down beside me, and placed it beside him on the bench. He looked me over, concerned.

  I smiled. “I am all right. Everyone has to stop worrying about me so much.”

  “Everyone does seem to ask you if you are all right quite a bit, Mademoiselle,” he laughed, taking my hand gently. “We all worry about you.”

  I sighed, pouting slightly as I looked around. “Everyone, hmmm. Sure to follow…”

  His brow furrowed. “What does that mean?”

  “Hmmm?” I asked, turning to him. A cool wind blew past us. “Oh, something Colette said. It’s not important.”

  He nodded once and frowning before looking at my lips. “May I kiss you, again, or is it too soon for such passion in this heat?”

  I smiled and leaned toward him. His soft lips pressed against my own, melting my smile away in the most delicious way. One could say he kissed the smile off my face, and I only wished for him to do it again and again.

  We spent some time out there, and my silly little mind got ahead of itself, thinking someone could possibly be looking for us. I broke us apart, though painfully, as we were getting extremely comfortable with each other.

  In my mind, I knew it was better to slow things down and be constantly on guard. If Colette found us, all would be lost; our privacy would be gone. Then, the constant questions would begin.

  We stood from the bench, his eyes never leaving me as he wrapped my shawl around me once again. Though it was so hot, I didn’t need it. As the sun rose in the sky, the heat got slowly worse. I knew once it got to the afternoon it would cool off for the evening.

  We walked back to the house, breaking our hands apart from each other as we approached the terrace, walking up the steps into the salon. Both of us stopped, my heart jumping in fright at the sight of Constanze, Yolande, and Christine sitting at the table with Colette and Étienne.

  “Ah. Madeleine, Comte,” Constanze called out, her face twisting in confusion. “You are just in time. We were about to be off, actually. At least we can say our hellos before we venture back to town.”

  I looked to Lucien, who looked to Constanze and her entourage in contempt, trying to smile at them politely. I then looked to Yolande, whose face was red and her lips pursed as she stared at the floor.

  Colette smiled as she stood, obviously too delighted that Constanze didn’t miss the sight of Lucien and I coming in from our walk, enjoying each other’s company.

  “Did you enjoy your walk? You were gone for a bit. I thought we had lost you both,” she laughed lightly, turning back to Étienne who also stood. “Étienne is leaving as well, sadly. I hope your schedule is not going to keep you as well, Comte.”

  “I could stay for the afternoon if you wish, unless you tire of me,” he laughed, looking to me.

  I smiled. “Worried about wearing out your welcome?”

  He smiled to me, his eyes filled with a lust. It was something I was starting to recognize, having stared into his eyes for so long out in the maze.

  Constanze got up from her seat. Yolande and Christine stood with her like trained dogs. “Well, we must be off. Colette,” she walked over to her, kissing both of her cheeks before she turned to Lucien and curtsied. “Comte.” Her eyes came to me—not even trying to hide the disdain she held for me at that moment—she turned and stalked out of the room.

  Colette smiled at me, her eyebrows raising, and she was absolutely delighted. She saw Étienne out, leaving Lucien and I alone in the salon, awaiting her return.

  He turned to me. “Well, the Vicomtesse is not pleased.”

  “I hope we weren’t obvious,” I bit my lip, fear running through me.

  “I am sure they suspect something. Come now, Madeleine. We need to be honest that the attraction we hold for one another is quite obvious. Perhaps we need to try better for discretion.”

  I nodded, stepping away from him. I attempted putting distance between us, though it pained me so. I wanted to be next to him, wanted to be in his arms more than anything. My thoughts filled with nothing but Lucien, and to be away from him made my chest ache uncomfortably under my stays.

  He licked his lips once again. “Perhaps I should return for supper tomorrow evening, not give anyone any reason for suspicions. I can say I forgot an appointment.”

  I looked at him, the pain obvious on my face at the thought of him leaving. A smile crossed his face.

  “It will only be for a day, and then I will be back,” he stepped forward, taking my hand.

  I nodded, smiling. I pulled both my hands up to my face and covered it, as I always did when I was embarrassed of my blush.

  We walked out into the foyer, Colette just making her way toward us. Étienne was long gone.

  “Oh, where are we going?” she asked, stopping before us.

  “I forgot about an appointment I must keep. Though, I do apologize. I would love to visit upon you for supper tomorrow night, if that is a good compromise?” Lucien smiled.

  “Oh,” she said disappointedly, “well, as long as you return. Until tomorrow evening, then. Maddy, I will await you in the boudoir.”

  Her green eyes flashed as she curtsied, skipping over to the staircase.

  I walked Lucien over to the door, both of us standing awkwardly, my eyes scanning around to see who was watching.

  He kept his voice lowered. “I want to kiss you goodbye, but we are trying to be discreet.”

  I sighed, a pain pulling in my chest. Ow.

  He bowed down, taking my hand on his way up, signaling me to dip into a low curtsey. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it before he turned and opened the door. “Until tomorrow evening.”

  I nodded, his handsome form disappearing out the door. My heart slowed as I held my breath, letting it out as I turned toward the stairs.

  I walked into the boudoir to Colette sitting on the chaise longue and awaiting me, a wicked smile on her face. “Did he steal a kiss?”

  I frowned, shaking my head. “No, he did not.”

  Her smile faded away, “He didn’t?”

  I shook my head, again.

  “Oh,” her mood shifted instantly. Her brow furrowed, looking pained.

  “What?” I asked, looking to her concerned.

  “It cannot be true. No.” She shook her head.

  “For Christ’s sake, Colette. What are you talking about?”

  She turned to me and stood up from the chair, swallowing hard as she grabbed my hands. “Now, what I am going to say to you is going…it is going to shock you, no doubt. You should sit. Sit.”

  I looked around, confused. A sudden dread fell over me, sensing the impending distress her words would bring me.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “All right. I know how much you like him, but Stanzy…Well, she came upon some news today in town…about Lucien,” she started.

  “Oh?” I asked, trepidation seizing me. What could she have heard about Lucien? What does she know?

  “There was talk that he…Oh, there is no delicate way to put this. He has
a lady in his affections, Maddy. I’m so sorry.”

  I sighed in relief, putting my hand over my heart to calm it.

  “You do not seem very upset,” she said, looking at me confused.

  I looked up to her, nodding. “Oh, I am. Just…the shock of it all.”

  Damn! Come on, Madeleine!

  Colette sat beside me, grabbing my hands in hers. “I’m sorry, Maddy. He is a fool. I thought that for sure from his visit today, that woman was you, but if he didn’t even try to kiss you…I’m sorry, Maddy.”

  I cleared my throat, looking to my hands. I summoned all I had in me to pretend to be distressed by the news. “I am fine. It is all right. If I held his affection at any time, I am sure I can get another man, just as fine. Don’t you think?”

  She smiled weakly, nodding. “Yes, but what does he want, then? Why is he still toying with you?”

  “Perhaps he needs a friend?” I shrugged, folding my hands in my lap.

  Look sullen. He does not want you. He wants this other woman. Forget about the hedge maze. Forget about how amazingly beautiful he is. In fact, that discourages you further…oh, damn!

  “Well, look at the circles he runs in. Perhaps, you are right. Are you going to oblige him? Would that not hurt?” She looked at me, concerned.

  I felt horrible that I was lying to my friend. I was doing what I so despised about her other friends. If I wanted to be with Lucien, it was something I had to do. I knew I did. “Yes, for a time. Isn’t being his friend better than nothing at all? Who knows. Perhaps I can win him back.”

  She smiled. “Yes! That is what we will do. I will make sure to give you plenty of time alone, so you can work your charms on him.”

  I smiled at her, absolutely delighted at the thought of being alone with Lucien. I pretended to gather confidence. “Yes. I have not lost hope, yet. As you said, I do like him quite a bit. I do not plan on letting Yolande win.”