He gave her a nod. “I understand,” he said, and she believed him wholeheartedly.
Chapter Nine
Caroline watched from the window of what had once been the office Reginald had used when he wished to work without any distractions, which was often. Philip and Oliver walked down the garden path, Philip teaching him the names of the different flowers and plants as they strolled along. Oliver had taken an immediate enjoyment to learning about what grew in his garden, and Caroline found nothing wrong with such lessons. He was now the Duke, but that did not mean he could not learn about that which many in his position would deem as beneath them, for all knowledge would only make the boy a stronger man.
She found it intriguing that only a few months ago, Caroline thought her future bleak, one from which she wished to run away. Her life had been misery, lacking in love, her son withheld from her. Now, however, the future was hers.
The day following her drunken expression of love, she had woken to a piercing headache and a shame from which she worried she would never find relief. Despite his rejection of her love, he had reached out to her in friendship, and for that she was glad. It was a beautiful friendship, and although deep in her heart she wished for more, she knew it was not meant to be. Perhaps, in time, it could become more—when the man had healed properly from his loss—and she would be there waiting for him. For herself, there would be no other man, for in her heart, there was only Philip; he could deny that truth all he wanted, but she did not.
What she felt was not love in spite of her words that evening; she was not prepared to name it so now that she was in her right mind, for, in truth, she did not know what such a feeling was. Nor could she imagine holding onto such a feeling if it was not returned. For the time being, she would call the feeling beautiful, for that was what it was.
“With your promise to never leave me,” she whispered, “I will wait forever.”
How a woman such as herself came from the poorest of homes to be where she was today still amazed her. With all that she possessed and the wealth at her disposal, she could have whatever came to mind, could purchase whatever her heart wanted, yet she had no desire to do so. What she wished for above all else was time with her son; therefore, what time she had with Philip was wonderful but not necessarily the most important.
“Your Grace,” Quinton said from the doorway with a worried look. “You have callers; though, they refuse to enter.” He had always been a man of unflappable character, but the arrival of these guests had clearly unsettled him.
“Who are they?” she asked.
Quinton refused to look at her, which only piqued her curiosity all the more.
“Come now,” she said as she turned toward him. “I cannot imagine who would come calling that would leave you speechless.”
The butler cleared his throat and said, “It is Lord Hayward and Miss French.”
He had been right to be hesitant in introducing Reginald’s brother and mistress. The entire household knew of Neil’s treacherousness, or they had to, and as to Miss French, well, it had been clear to everyone where she stood when Reginald was alive.
Anger coursed through her as she straightened her back and walked as regally as she could past Quinton toward the front door. She had told both in no uncertain terms that they were not welcome in the house any longer, and yet, here they were, at her door? Well, she would see them thrown into prison for trespass if she had anything to do with it.
However, when she opened the door, she stood shocked as she looked upon a woman who resembled Miss French only in her features. She now wore a dress made of burlap, not much different from the one Caroline herself had been forced to wear during her day working in the gardens.
Beside her stood Neil. The man lacked his usual arrogance, and Caroline could not help but be suspicious.
However, it was not only those two who stood on the stoop. Beside Neil stood a tall man with handsome features and impeccable clothing. He looked to be around the age of thirty, his hair yet possessing any signs of gray, but the smallest of lines shown in the corners of his eyes.
“Duchess,” the man said with a diffident bow, “I am Lord Franklin Mullens, Baron of Routerly, and I wish to speak to you about a concerning matter that includes yourself.”
“I am afraid I do not understand,” Caroline said, wishing all three would leave. “Neil…?”
“I know you said never to return, but I believe you will find my disobedience worthwhile,” Neil replied. “Nevertheless, if you wish me to leave, I will do so.”
How strange to have this man treating her with such respect. Not once during her five years of marriage had the man ever shown any sign of deference. His actions made her suspicious while at the same time curious.
“No, stay,” she relented. She would hear them out and if she did not like what they had to say, they would be thrown out on their ears. “Please, come inside. There is no reason for us to stand here when we have a perfectly good sitting room inside.”
Caroline led the trio down the hall and into the sitting room. Once she had taken her place on the sofa and the men in two of the chairs, she was pleased when Miss French remained standing, her head bowed and her hands clasped in front of her. Caroline did not bother to offer any tea; they would not be staying long if she had anything to do with it.
When everyone was situated, Lord Mullens continued. “Your Grace, I believe that Miss French has something to say to you.”
Caroline turned expectantly to her husband’s mistress but said nothing, for she had nothing to say to the woman.
Much to Caroline’s surprise, the woman gave her an unpracticed curtsy and said, “Your Grace, I sought after what was not mine, and my actions might never be forgiven.” Her words sounded practiced. “I know I can’t ever earn your favor, but I want you to know how sorry I am for what I’ve done, and I ask your forgiveness so I can begin a new life as a better person.”
Caroline knew her snort was unladylike, but she did not care. “And how do you plan to do that?”
Neil answered for the woman. “She will work at my estate, knowing what it is like to earn an honest wage. She humiliated not only herself but you, as well, and I will see that she pays for what she has done.”
With a thoughtful gaze, Caroline looked at the woman, her anger now replaced by pity. She had every reason to return the woman’s disrespect with cruelty, to scream at her, and even strike her. However, revenge was a foreign idea to Caroline. Furthermore, she had been on the receiving end of such harsh treatment. Would doing the same be hypocritical of her? No, she would not do those things, for kindness was the only action she could take.
“Very well,” she replied. “I hope you find peace.”
“Your kindness precedes you,” Lord Mullens said.
Caroline acknowledged the compliment, but her mind was on other things. She walked over and pulled the ring chord. When Quinton appeared, she said, “See that Lord Mullens is served tea.” Then she turned to Neil. “I will speak to you alone, if you please.”
Neil rose and bowed. “Of course, Your Grace,” he said. “Mary, you will wait out in the carriage.”
Miss French curtsied without lifting her eyes. “Yes, My Lord,” she said and then made her way outside. Caroline had to stop herself from gaping after the woman.
Neil bowed once more to Caroline. “After you, Your Grace.”
His words sounded flat to Caroline; however, she was not the person her husband had been, one who found only the bad in people. No, she was better than he, and this was how she would prove it.
***
Once the door to the office was closed, Caroline turned back to Neil, and though he smiled, she did not return it. Two months earlier the man had put his hands on her, had tried to force a kiss upon her. Although she had done nothing to influence the man, she had been left humiliated and with a feeling of defilement, and she refused to be forced to feel that way again.
“What is it you want?” she demanded before he
was able to speak. She offered him no seat and he did not request one. “Who is that man and how do you know him?”
“If I may tell you a story,” he said, “then perhaps you will understand.” Was that humility she heard? It could not be, for the man did not know the meaning of humble.
“If you must,” she said in a curt tone.
He sighed. “There was once a boy who grew up in the shadow of his brother. This boy mimicked every move his brother made, for the brother had everything the boy ever wanted. In the process, that boy grew to be a cold, twisted man, overcome with lust for money.”
Caroline raised an eyebrow at him. If he expected sympathy, the man would be waiting for a very long time for it.
“It was when the older brother died that the younger thought to gain both title and wealth for himself. However, as days passed, he began to think. For forty of his fifty years he had sought wealth and land, yet he was not happy. He soon began to realize all the wrong he had done in his life, and he felt sick from it.”
“And what does this have to do with me?” Caroline asked, not believing a man could change so much in such a short amount of time. “And what of this Lord Mullens?”
“Mullens had come to settle some business affairs with me, affairs that included both Reginald and myself. When he learned what his sister had been up to…”
“His sister?” Caroline asked, mortified.
“Indeed. Mary French, or so she had come to call herself, is actually Miss Mary Mullens.”
Caroline grimaced. The woman was the sister of a Baron? How humiliating that had to be for poor Lord Mullens to learn that his sister had been mistress to a duke. “Go on,” she said, smoothing her face once more.
“As you can imagine, he was irate when he learned how his sister had been behaving. When he spoke to me about it, I realized that I felt shame, as well. Shame for standing by and watching it happen, for encouraging it, and for remaining silent. Lord Mullens is twenty years my younger but has shown to be far wiser than I.” He sighed. “I say all this to express two things. First, I want to apologize for my actions and words toward you over the years you were married to my brother; they were reprehensible.”
A frost in her veins began to melt, and she began to see this man in a different light. Did not everyone deserve a second chance?
“I forgive you,” she said. Forgiveness did not mean she would forget, but that she kept to herself.
He released held breath. “Thank you,” he whispered. “The second thing I wish to say is this. With Reginald now gone and with no children of my own, Oliver is all I have left. I will never set foot in your house again, but grant me once a fortnight to come and see him. If only for a few minutes.” The man lowered his head as if in that diffidence that seemed so strange on him.
Caroline could only stand in shock. Could this man have changed so drastically? She had already forgiven him his transgressions. Was she ready to allow him to influence Oliver, as well? How she wished Philip was by her side, for he would know how to guide her.
She walked over to the window and watched Philip and Oliver, their heads together as they peered down at a budding daisy. She could ask him to come inside, but did she not need to make her own decisions? She was the Dowager Duchess, and she was in charge of her son’s upbringing. What did she know of being a man with a title and the responsibilities that went with that station? Indeed, what did Philip know of such things?
Glancing over at Neil, she made a decision. “You may come by and see him, but know that I will be close by. Trust is earned, never given.”
Neil raised his head and smiled broadly. “Thank you,” he said. “I will wait in the carriage for Lord Mullens.” He gave her another deep bow, this one deserving of a member of the royal family, and went to walk out the door.
Letting out a sigh, Caroline called him back. “Neil, wait,” she said, hoping she was not making a huge mistake. “Please, join us in the sitting room.”
Chapter Ten
Tea had been served, and the conversation was pleasant enough; although Caroline could not shake the strange feeling of being in the presence of a Neil Hayward who was quiet and attentive. Yet, it was not only his silence she found unsettling but the way he seemed to absorb every word Lord Mullens had to say.
“Once Neil informed me that my holdings were now split between himself and you,” Lord Mullens was saying, “I must admit that the idea excited me.”
“How so?” Caroline asked carefully as she hid her suspicions behind the teacup she brought to her lips.
“To be perfectly honest, I have never done business with a woman before, much less a Duchess. It is an honor of which I had heard but have never thought I would ever experience.”
Neil snorted. “Women have no head for business,” he said. “It is not the way nor will it ever be. Why would anyone believe that it would?” Then his eyes went wide as he looked at Caroline. “I mean…that is…besides you, of course.”
Caroline suppressed a laugh. There was the man that lived behind that face. “Of course.”
Lord Mullens smiled at her. “You are right, Neil. It has not been the way of things. Yet, those ways are changing, are they not? I have seen more women open their own businesses—millineries and such—and they are quite successful. It is imperative that we men change with them, for if we do not, I fear a lady such as the Dowager Duchess here will be ruling over us all and we will end up working for her!”
Caroline did laugh at this. Although she had only known the man for an hour, she found his company more than enjoyable. A man with title and wealth who was still kind? She would never have believed it if she had not seen it for herself.
Neil sighed. “I suppose you are right. Still, I do not understand it all.”
“You will learn soon enough, my friend,” Lord Mullens said as he stood. “Now, shall we leave the Duchess alone or continue to bore her with our stories?”
Caroline set her teacup aside and stood. She was surprised that she was sad to see Lord Mullens leave. “Oh, you are not boring me at all,” she said. “I find your stories fascinating. I do look forward to doing business with you in the future.”
Neil shook his head as he made his way to the door, but Caroline ignored him. It took much for a tiger to change his stripes.
Lord Mullens leaned in and lowered his voice. “Give him time,” he whispered. “His stubbornness is great, but he is making progress.”
Caroline smiled. “I will,” she promised, and found she meant it. “Perhaps it is time to bury the hatchet, as they say.”
“Indeed,” the man replied. “If I may be so bold. When I come to collect Mary in two weeks’ time from your brother-in-law’s home, may I call on you so we might continue our conversation?”
A wave of thoughts rushed through her, tumbling one over the other at once, causing her head to pound. Fear set upon her in reaction to the manner in which Reginald had treated her whenever she spoke to another man. Yet, her husband was no longer alive to chastise or punish her. Furthermore, the man calling upon her for conversation was in no way a wrongdoing.
Then there was her concern for Philip. She could not risk falling for another man while she had promised to wait for him. Then again, this man was not asking to court her but rather to simply call by and have conversation with her. What was the harm in that?
Her hesitation must have seeped through, for Lord Mullens said, “I forget my place. I should not have been so forward. It has been an honor to make your acquaintance.” He gave her a low bow and clapped Neil on the back. “Come, my friend, we have much to discuss about the future.”
With a relieved smile, Caroline walked the two men to the door. When they were gone, she shut the door and let out a sigh. Lord Mullens had mentioned the future and women being a part of it, and she found an excitement at the idea.
Yet, although she knew she would have a happy future no matter what path she took, the only way it could be complete was if Philip was by her side. She could n
ot have denied that if she tried.
***
Caroline sat alone in her rooms, rooms that had once belonged to the Duke himself. He had taken the most opulent rooms for himself, of course, leaving Caroline with a tiny room in the attic. Once, he had shared these with her, but only until she conceived. Then she was sent away.
She was not one to wish for more than she had. Life had been difficult when she was young; her parents struggled to make ends meet and to put food on the table. However, they at least loved her. Sharing a room with four other siblings had been a challenge, to say the least, but she would have given everything to return to those days after what she had endured once she was wed.
Now, the largest rooms were hers, and despite the pettiness of her pleasure in having what Reginald had once denied her, she did enjoy them. The bed had been replaced—she would not sleep upon a bed her husband had shared with another woman—as had the heavy oak drawers and wardrobe. Instead, she had purchased all new furniture that suited her far better than the masculine and oppressive pieces the Duke had utilized.
A sound in the small sitting room that led to the hallway made her turn. Then there was a light tap on the frame of the door she had left open.
“Caroline?” Philip called from the other room. “You sent for me?”
“I did,” she replied. “Come here. I want to show you something.”
The man peeked into the bedroom, clearly uncomfortable with entering her bedchamber, which amused her greatly. He was her protector! What if she was set upon by someone in this very room? Would she die because of his disquiet?
“What is it?” he asked as he came to stand beside her at the window.
He was tense in his dark blue tailcoat and tan trousers, and she wondered if his discomfort came from being in her room or from wearing clothes with which he was unaccustomed. However, the clothing did not appear strange on him as it might on another servant given clothes they were not used to wearing. He wore his new attire with aplomb.
“Do you remember what happened down there only a few months ago?” she asked.
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