Masked (The Divided Kingdom Book 1)

by Shari Cross

  My eyes fly open. What just happened? I push my unsteady body into a sitting position and see Drake sitting on the ground several feet away from me. He’s leaning back on his elbows, his chest heaving, his face flushed, his gaze fixed on something in front of him. I follow his line of sight—Gregory. My heart falters. Gregory is staring down at Drake, a murderous expression on his face. Mary is standing cautiously behind him, her eyes darting uncomfortably back and forth between myself and Drake.

  “Go home, Addalynne.” Gregory’s voice is quiet and filled with rage, his hands in tight fists.

  “Not unless Drake comes with me.”

  “No. He’s staying here with me so we can have a little chat. You are going to go back with Mary.”

  I force myself to rise shakily to my feet and make my way to Drake’s side. “No, he’s not.” I offer my hand to Drake, but Drake doesn’t look at me or my hand. Instead, he stays on the ground, a look of shame and guilt on his face.

  “Go home, Addalynne,” Drake responds, repeating Gregory’s words.

  “No! I won’t leave you here!”

  “Addalynne, you don’t want to be here for this. Go home.” The implied threat is clear in Gregory’s words and tone.

  “No, Gregory! I won’t let you hurt him! We’re together, and you’re going to have to accept that!”

  “Accept that? I can accept the fact that you’re together! What I can’t accept is that he decided to drag you in the woods so that he could have his way with you! So that he could dishonor you!”

  “He did not dishonor me! Besides, what were you bringing Mary in here for? To pick berries?” Mary gasps, but I refuse to look at her. I know my words embarrassed her and I hate myself a little for saying them, but it doesn’t change the truth in them. My words also give me Gregory’s complete attention. He’s glaring at me with absolute fury. I’ve never seen him this angry with me. Gregory takes an infuriated step in my direction, and Drake instantly rises to his feet, placing himself between me and Gregory. There’s no need. Gregory would never hurt me, but I’m glad it got Drake off the ground. Drake looks at me, but keeps Gregory in his line of sight as well.

  “No, Addy. He’s right. I should never have pushed it that far.” He turns his attention to Gregory. “I’m sorry, Gregory. What I did was inexcusable. I love your sister, but I shouldn’t have taken advantage of her in that way.”

  Taken advantage of me?

  He sets his shoulders and takes a step toward Gregory, preparing himself for whatever Gregory’s about to do. Gregory regards him, his arm twitching in anticipation.

  “Stop!” I yell, but it’s too late. There’s a sickening pop as Gregory’s fist connects with Drake’s jaw. Drake staggers backward, but manages to stay on his feet. I run toward him, and this time I put myself in the path between him and my brother.

  “Leave, Gregory!” I scream, the tears stinging the backs of my eyes. Gregory stares at me for a moment, his face still filled with anger. “Leave!” I scream again, before turning to Drake. His lip is bleeding in the corner. I gently wipe the blood from under his mouth, and his eyes find mine. They’re distant and filled with shame. He holds my gaze for several seconds, before turning away. I hate Gregory for ruining this day for us, and even more for hurting Drake.

  “Let’s go, Gregory. Leave them be,” Mary says softly. Gregory looks at Mary and his mood noticeably calms. She uses the opportunity to pull Gregory away. I watch them until they disappear into the trees. Then I turn back to Drake and wrap my arms around him, leaning my head against his chest. His body is tense as he stiffly encircles me in his arms.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say roughly, my voice strained with the effort of trying to hold back my tears.

  “You shouldn’t be. Gregory was right, and I deserved much worse than that,” he says firmly, before pulling himself away and wrapping only his hand around mine.

  I look up into his face, and the look I see there reminds me of a solid door: closed and impenetrable. As we walk back toward the village in silence, I feel nothing but apprehension.

  Chapter 18

  HER

  By the time we reach my home, I’m ready to scream with frustration. He’s completely overreacting! I don’t know what’s worse—his prolonged silence or his murmured apologies.

  We approach the front door and Drake tugs lightly on my hand, pulling me to a stop. I glance at him expectantly, my heart thumping loudly in my chest, but whether it’s in anticipation of his words or from aggravation, I don’t know.

  “I want to apologize again about today.”

  Here we go again. “Will you stop doing that?” I shout and pull my hand free of his grasp.

  “Stop doing what?”

  I force the next words out, through my teeth, and try to hold back the tears.

  “Stop acting like touching me is so reprehensible!” I fail at holding back the tears and they fall, cold and steady.

  His gaze lingers on my tears for a moment before he turns away. “The way I touched you was reprehensible.”

  His words fracture me. I grasp the cold metal doorknob, desperate for an escape, but his hand wraps around mine, stopping me from turning it. I look toward him, waiting for him to speak, but he says nothing, instead he just stares at me with blank uncertain eyes. Several dismal seconds pass before he removes his hand from mine and steps back. He’s not going to fix this. I turn away from him and push open the door. The heat from the fireplace blankets my body as I step inside. I slam the door shut behind me and lean my forehead against it, letting the coolness of the wood calm me while I try to steady my breath and slow my tears. His shadow is visible beneath the crack of the door, hovering on the other side. The urge to go back out to him is overwhelming, but I fight against it.

  “I love you, Addy,” he murmurs, and then his shadow disappears. I glance out the window and watch him walk away.

  * * *

  When I hear the front door open, the moon has taken the sun’s place in the sky. Mother and Elizabeth must finally be home. Though I’m curious about where they’ve been, I’m too tired to get up and ask.

  The last several hours have been torturous, as I’ve spent them waiting for Drake to come back. I was certain he would knock on the wooden shutters of my window. He never came. Instead, there’s a sturdy knock on my door.

  “Come in,” I say tiredly, lifting myself off the bed.

  Father walks in, an apprehensive look on his face.

  “What happened?” I ask as I stand. “Is everyone all right? Where are Mother and Elizabeth?”

  “Everyone’s fine. Your mother and Elizabeth are at your uncle’s, having supper. I told them you and I wouldn’t be able to join them. They should be home within the hour.” His face puts on a soft smile while he continues to linger in my doorway, his weight shifting from one foot to the other.

  “Why aren’t we joining them? If we leave now we could still make it in time.” And I would be able to see Drake.

  “Because, Addalynne, there are some important matters we need to discuss.”

  I hold his gaze. I have no idea what matters he wants to discuss, but I know what answers I want from him. And though I’m in no mood to argue with my father, it’s one more thing that I can get out of the way. I cross my arms in front of me and wait expectantly for him to say what’s on his mind.

  “Let’s move into the study,” he says before turning and making his way down the hall, expecting me to follow. Every step I take behind him seems to echo in my ears, and I can’t help but fidget with an unraveled string on the sleeve of my green dress.

  As I step into the study, my gaze lands on the many familiar books that decorate the wall behind my father’s desk. The candlelight from the bronze chandelier that hangs above our heads reflects off their spines, creating spots of light around the room. I have spent so much time in here over the last six months, trying to find an escape within the pages of these books. Now that Drake came back, I thought I would no longer need that escape. I was w
rong. I find myself yearning for a book, desperately needing something to get my mind off him.

  “Vernold informed me that Charles came to see you today, and you told him you no longer wanted to be courted by him. Is that true?” My father’s words seem to reverberate loudly, making it impossible for me to miss them. I turn toward him. He’s staring out the window across the study, his back to me. His brown hair is beginning to thin on the back of his head, showing his age where his face does not. His hands are clasped behind him and he’s rocking methodically on his heels. He’s still dressed in his work clothes, but his black vest and breeches are rumpled from the long day.

  “Yes,” I reply, and step farther into the study, coming to a stop next to one of the four wooden chairs.

  “I suppose I don’t need to ask why. But I think you’re being foolish.”

  “Really? I’m foolish for trying to take control of my life and right the wrong that you created?” All my frustration and anger tangles together, as sharp as a blade, and takes aim at my father.

  Father turns to face me, his brow furrowed. “What wrong did I create? Wanting you and Drake to move on so you could both have a better life? Wanting you to be with someone who could care for you, provide for you?”

  “A better life? I was devastated when Drake left, and you are the one who convinced him that I had moved on! You are the one who told him not to come back to me! You are the one who hid the truth and his letters from me! I was under the impression that, as my father, you were supposed to help ensure my happiness, not destroy me.” My hands clench tightly into fists, my fingernails cutting into my palms.

  Father regards me for a moment, and the silence permeates the tension around us.

  “This is why I wanted him to leave,” he finally says. “I’ve seen enough to know what this kind of passion leads to and it’s not happiness, Addalynne. You and Drake are the ones that hurt each other and this isn’t the first time.”

  “You don’t know anything about us.”

  “I’m your father, Addalynne. At times I know you better than you know yourself. And Drake . . . I love Drake, but he doesn’t even know his place in this world. He needs to find solid ground, roots if you will. And you’re just waiting to jump from tree to tree.”

  I open my mouth to argue, wanting to argue, but I don’t know where to start. There’s some truth to what he’s saying, but he doesn’t understand that Drake and I complete each other. We’re each other’s missing pieces.

  “You think I destroyed your happiness,” Father continues. “But I was trying to give you a chance at a life that I believe could make you happier. I knew that if Drake were here you would never see past him. You would never see the life you could have with Charles.”

  “You had no right to lie to us.” My voice is low and trembling with anger.

  “Maybe I shouldn’t have lied, but I saw an opportunity to improve your life and I took it.”

  I look down at the ground and try to hold back my tears. I want to look like a level headed young woman who’s capable of making her own decisions, not a hot tempered little girl who’s about to be scolded for spilling stew. But I’m so angry.

  “Where are the letters he sent? The ones you took?”

  “I burned them.”

  I sway on my feet and swallow against the lump in my throat. A tear breaks free.

  I hear him take a step toward me, but I don’t look up.

  “I’m sorry, Addalynne. I shouldn’t have done that. But I thought I was protecting you. And I realize now how difficult his leaving was on both of you, but I had to try.” His voice is filled with remorse, but I have no desire to forgive him. It’s because of him that things are so strained with Drake. He didn’t succeed in making us move on; he only succeeded in making us doubt not only ourselves, but each other.

  “Why Charles?” I ask as I finally let myself look at him. “Why do you want me to pick Charles so badly? And don’t say it’s because he can provide for me. I don’t need to be provided for or taken care of, that’s not me and you know it. And even if I did need to be provided for there are plenty of men here who are capable, including Drake. Why Charles?” My voice shakes with my question. Father has always supported me in making my own decisions. It’s my mother who has fought me at every turn. So if he’s trying to push me into something, he has a reason.

  Father’s eyes meet mine, weary and guarded, before he looks down to the floor.

  “Shortly after Charles returned to Faygrene he asked me for your hand in marriage, and I gave my consent.”

  Blood rushes to my head and the air rushes out of me. This can’t be happening. I can’t marry Charles. I look down at the rug beneath my feat and try to find the anger in me that I had before, but all I find is desolation.

  “I won’t marry him. I’ll run away if I have to,” I say quietly. Numb. I try to breathe, but my throat feels like it’s being filled with dirt.

  “Don’t be rash, Addalynne. Imagine the life he could give you. He could take you anywhere you wanted to go, give you everything you ever dreamed of. It’s a perfect match for you.”

  “You’re wrong.”.

  “I don’t think I am. However, the choice is ultimately yours.”

  What? I look up, my body feeling as though it’s trying to break the surface of rushing water.

  “I told Charles that he had my blessing and that I would do everything in my power to persuade you, but that I would never force your hand.”

  “I won’t be forced into this?” I ask breathlessly.

  “No, Addalynne you won’t. Your mother and I always agreed that we would not force you into a marriage you did not want. When I agreed to give Charles your hand in marriage, I thought it was going to be the best thing for you, that it would make you happy. I still think that you could be happy with Charles. But if Drake is the one you want, and he asks for your hand, I’ll allow it.”

  I run to my father and wrap my arms around him. He returns the embrace and places a gentle kiss on top of my head.

  “All I ask is that you go to the Berrengers’ and speak with Charles. Listen to what he has to say and, if you’re still certain you don’t want to marry him, you may formally refuse him.”

  “There’s nothing he could say to convince me. Besides, I already told Charles to direct his affections elsewhere.”

  “I understand that. But Charles is under the assumption that you two already have an arrangement. He’s waiting for you to warm up to the idea, which he’s certain will happen. If you’re positive that you don’t want to marry him, then you’ll have to formally refuse the marriage arrangement.”

  “Fine, I’ll go now.” I turn to leave, ready to put this fully behind me.

  “No, it’s too late. It wouldn’t be appropriate. Go tomorrow morning,” he says as he sits at his desk, settling in for tonight’s work. I nod and leave the study. I hate having to wait, but he’s right. Besides, the thought of seeing Charles again already has my stomach in knots.

  As I make my way toward my chambers, the front door swings open, and Mother and Elizabeth come rushing in followed by a gust of cold air.

  “How was supper?” I ask, heading toward them. I really want to ask, How was Drake? Did he ask about me? Did he look miserable? But I can’t.

  “It was pleasant,” Mother replies while hanging her cloak on the wall, her body shivering from the chill of the outside air. Elizabeth’s eyes are on me, studying my face.

  “You’ve been crying,” Elizabeth says, a frown pulling on her lips. My darling little sister, always too intuitive. I cross my arms defiantly over my chest.

  “No, I haven’t.”

  “Yes, you have. I can tell. Your eyes are puffy and your face is red. Did you have a fight with Drake?”

  “Did he say we did?” I counter, not wanting to talk about our fight, but curious to know if she spoke with him.

  “No, he wasn’t there.” Her eyes become less questioning and more analytical. She’s reading my face like a book a
nd I can do nothing to stop her because all I can think about is where he could have been. The torturous side of my imagination pictures him finding comfort with Jacqueline, but I push the image away, knowing I’m being ridiculous.

  “Well, that’s not entirely true,” Mother says, thankfully interrupting my self-destructive thoughts. “He wasn’t there while we ate, but he did arrive before we left,” Mother continues as she walks toward Elizabeth and also begins studying my face.

  “Did you talk to him?” I ask a little too forcefully. I watch both of them as they watch me. Their matching red hair and blue eyes blend while I stare at them, my vision relaxing until they become one scrutinizing person.

  “Very little. When he saw us, he asked if you were there, and when we told him, “No,” he asked us to excuse him, and went straight to his loft.” Curiosity is thick in Mother’s voice.

  I turn around and walk back to my chambers, thinking only of Drake and what he’s doing now. As I open my door, Mother’s voice floats down the hall.

  “He seemed very distraught, Addalynne. You really shouldn’t be so hard on him.”

  I shut my door on her words. I’m being hard on him? I’m furious that she automatically assumes this is my fault! Part of me wants to go back out there and tell her the truth. I wasn’t hard on him, Mother. In fact, I was very easy, too easy, and apparently he doesn’t like how easy I was being, and that’s why he’s so upset!

  I throw myself down on my bed and try to let the anger, hurt, confusion, desire, and frustration fade away. Today has been a cyclone of emotions, leaving me physically and emotionally drained. I don’t bother taking off my dress. I simply blow out the candle on the table next to my bed and close my eyes, letting my mind drift to tomorrow. I picture myself confidently telling Charles that I will never marry him, and then spending the afternoon wrapped in Drake’s arms. I imagine us picking up from where we left off today, only this time, Gregory doesn’t show up and Drake doesn’t regret it.