A Soldier's Quest

by Lori Handeland

  Jane gasped and tore the covers away, leaving Bobby buck naked to face his brother, which might have been a little bit easier without his morning hard-on.

  He glanced at Colin’s face.

  Then again, maybe not. Bobby grabbed a pillow and laid it in his lap as he sat up. Jane put her head under the covers and moaned.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Bobby demanded.

  “In Illinois or in this room?”

  “Both.”

  “Same reason. I want to talk to you.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  “You have to. Mom said.”

  Bobby snorted. “How did you know where I was?”

  “Dean called. Told me if I wanted to make nicey-nice I should get home before you disappeared again. He didn’t mention…” Colin nodded in the direction of Jane’s rump.

  Dean, the traitor. Bobby was going to kick his ass just on principle. Whoever taught him to be a confidant?

  “Jane,” Bobby murmured.

  “Go away!” she whispered furiously.

  “Me? Or him?”

  “Both of you. This is mortifying!”

  “Why?”

  “How did he know you were here? You’re supposed to be at Dean’s.”

  Bobby glanced at Colin, who shrugged. “Mom.”

  Jane moaned again.

  “The woman knows everything,” Colin muttered.

  “Maybe you should take a shower.” Bobby patted Jane’s back. He didn’t want her to witness what he and Colin were about to say.

  “I’ll just stay under here until I die, thanks.”

  Bobby laughed and rubbed her shoulders. “Come on, Doctor, everything’ll look better once you’re wearing clothes.”

  She gave a labored sigh and poked her head out. Bobby smiled and kissed her nose. He was pleased to see her smile back, until her gaze shifted to his brother. Then uncertainty filtered over her face.

  He hated that expression. Jane was the most certain person he knew.

  “Jane, that’s Colin. Ignore him. Sometimes it works.”

  “Not this time.” Colin nodded politely at Jane. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Likewise.”

  Jane got to her feet, wrapping the bedspread around her, before she snatched her clothes from the floor. Then she hurried out the door, nearly tripping over the tail end. Bobby wanted to go after her so badly he took a step in that direction.

  Colin moved in front of him. “We’re going to settle this once and for all.”

  “There’s nothing to settle.”

  “You come to our house, upset Marlie, tell me I stole your girl and disappear. Then you turn up with another woman and think everything’s hunky-dory? I thought you were desperately in love with my wife.”

  Bobby had thought he was, too.

  “This woman—” Colin began.

  “Jane.”

  “What are you playing at? Evan’s married so you have to be the new gigolo? Forget Marlie in the arms of anyone you can find? And what’s with bringing her home, screwing her under your parents’ roof?”

  Bobby’s fingers curled into fists. No one talked about Jane that way—not even his brother.

  “It isn’t like that.”

  “What’s it like, then? You love Marlie. Your life is over because you can’t have her. The next thing I know you’re here with a stranger.”

  “She’s not a stranger.”

  “Not anymore.” Colin glanced pointedly at the bed. “Obviously.”

  “You have no idea what you’re talking about, so stop talking before I knock out a few more of your teeth.”

  “That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it?”

  “It’s worked pretty well so far.”

  “Fine.” Colin pointed to his chin. “Hit me again if it’ll make you feel better. I just want my brother back.”

  “You can’t always get what you want.”

  “Now you sound like Mom.” Colin took a deep breath. “I didn’t know you loved Marlie. Hell, she didn’t even know it. We didn’t mean—”

  “I know.”

  “Thinking of her was what kept me sane when I was in that cell. Being with her now is the only way I can stop remembering what it was like.”

  “You shouldn’t have come searching for me.”

  “But I did.”

  They went silent, thinking of what might have happened in Pakistan, then remembering what had.

  “How could you love her?” Colin asked. “You never even met her.”

  Bobby didn’t want to explain his life. How lonely it could get sometimes. How desperate he was to have someone waiting for him somewhere.

  How pathetic was that? It wasn’t as if he didn’t love his job, didn’t believe in what he was doing. He didn’t want to leave the Special Forces, he only wanted to have a life outside of it. So he’d latched onto the first woman he thought he could make a future with and convinced himself he was in love with her.

  He hadn’t been. Bobby could see that now. Because he was in love with Jane.

  “Hold on.” He headed for the hall, no longer caring he was naked, only caring that he found her.

  However, Colin wasn’t going to surrender easily. He put a hand on Bobby’s chest and shoved. Bobby grabbed his wrist and twisted.

  Colin’s breath hissed in sharply. “I hate it when you do that.”

  “Then get out of my way. I need to talk to Jane.”

  “Now?”

  “I love her.”

  “Sheesh. Make up your mind.”

  “I have.”

  Everything was completely clear. He wanted Jane for more than a day, a week, a month. He wanted her forever. Why hadn’t he told her so last night?

  Since he’d found Jane in the jungle, he hadn’t felt lonely, he’d felt…complete. She was the other half he’d been searching for when he hadn’t even known he was searching.

  Bobby walked down the hall, Colin on his heels. Something was bothering him, and he couldn’t figure out what until he neared the bathroom and didn’t hear the shower running. The door was open; Jane wasn’t inside.

  “Jane!” he bellowed, and ran for the stairs.

  Colin snagged one arm, and Bobby swung at him with the other. Colin ducked. He always had been quick. “You might want to try pants first.”

  Bobby glanced down. “Good idea.”

  Ninety seconds later he burst into the kitchen. His mother was there. So were Dean, Tim, his dad.

  But not Jane.

  “Did you two get everything worked out?” Eleanor glanced over her shoulder as she stirred scrambled eggs.

  “Where’s Jane?”

  His mother frowned. “She isn’t with you?”

  Bobby’s gaze went to the window. Their car was gone.

  “She heard us,” Bobby muttered.

  Colin cast him a quick glance. “She didn’t know about Marlie?”

  “Hell, no. You think I’m an idiot?”

  Something smacked him in the forehead out of nowhere. Scrambled eggs sprayed all over his chest. Tim giggled.

  “Gramma hit him with the spatula. Big trouble.”

  Bobby turned to his mother, who held her cooking utensil as if she’d use it on him again.

  “You are an idiot. That girl is the best thing that ever happened to you. Find her, beg her to love you, then marry her. Preferably today.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  His mother blinked, then stared at her spatula. “Wow, this thing really works.”

  Bobby headed out the front door, Colin right behind him.

  “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “With you.”

  “I don’t know where I’m going.”

  Bobby stared up the lane, hoping against hope he’d see a trail of dust from Jane’s car that would give him a hint, but there was nothing.

  “Where would she go?”

  “Mexico.”

  “You think you can catch her before she gets there?”
>
  Canine grumbling erupted an instant before Lucky pressed against Bobby’s leg. The panic that had been making it hard for him to breathe eased as he went down on one knee and accepted some Lucky love.

  “What is that?” Colin demanded.

  “Jane’s dog.”

  “I wouldn’t sound so happy about it if I were you.”

  “She’s coming back. She’d never leave Lucky.”

  “You sure?”

  “I’m sure,” Bobby said, and sat on the porch to wait.

  I THOUGHT YOU WERE desperately in love with my wife.

  Jane kept hearing Colin’s words even as she heard Bobby’s silence, which spoke even louder.

  No wonder he hadn’t declared his everlasting love. He’d already given it to someone else. That’s what she got for dreaming of forever.

  Jane drove over unfamiliar gravel roads far too fast. She wasn’t exactly sure where she was going, except away from him.

  Eventually she’d be forced to return to the farm. She’d left Lucky behind. The dog hadn’t been anywhere easy to find without shouting, and Jane hadn’t wanted to alert every Luchetti in the vicinity to her plans.

  At the next farm over, she slowed. The sign on the mailbox read Riley. Jane swung into the drive. Bobby’s sister had begged her to visit.

  Expecting another assault of Dalmatians, if not doodles, Jane was surprised when she was able to climb out of the car unmolested. That didn’t last long.

  A black sheep with a cat riding shotgun trotted around the side of the house.

  “Baaaaa.”

  “Likewise, I’m sure.” Jane started for the front door.

  The sheep put her head down as if she planned to charge.

  “Hey!” Jane shouted. “I come in peace.”

  The front door opened and Kim appeared, Zsa-Zsa hanging on to her leg.

  “No, Ba!” Zsa-Zsa said sternly. “No.”

  “Sorry.” Kim let the screen door bang shut. “Ba doesn’t like strangers.”

  Jane could have figured that out from the cranky expression on the ewe’s face, if not her continued precharging position.

  “Shoo, Ba. Shoo,” Kim said.

  The sheep snorted in disgust and trotted around the side of the house, cat still clinging to her back like a jockey.

  “You named your sheep Ba?” Jane asked.

  That seemed a little unimaginative for a woman like Kim—even if she was an almost-lawyer.

  “Not me. Brian.”

  “The cat isn’t Meow, is it?”

  “No, it’s—”

  “Precious!” Zsa-Zsa shouted, and took off after the animals.

  Jane lifted a brow.

  “I was out of my mind at the time,” Kim muttered. “Come on in.”

  Jane hesitated, but where was she going to go? The Luchetti farm? Right now, she just couldn’t.

  “Coffee?” Kim asked.

  “Thanks.”

  The kitchen was trashed. Cereal lay all over the table and across the floor. Law books and loose paper covered the countertop.

  “Sorry. I’m afraid you’ve arrived on the maid’s year off.”

  Jane smiled. “You should see my place.”

  “Where’s that?”

  “Hut in the jungle. Real mess.”

  Kim laughed and poured Jane some coffee. “What brings you to my lovely home so bright and early this morning?”

  Jane stared at her feet and fought the urge to cry. Crying was so unlike her…it made Jane want to cry.

  “Sit.” Kim set the coffee on the table, then cleared a space in front of two chairs. “What did my idiot brother do?”

  Jane snuffled and took the seat next to Kim. “Which one?”

  “I assume Bobby, but you’re right. Could be any of them. Spill it.”

  “He doesn’t love me. He loves her.”

  Jane glanced at Kim in time to catch the truth flitting across her face.

  “You knew. All of you did.” Jane fought the mortification. “From the moment I showed up, everyone but me understood he couldn’t love me. He was only using me.” Jane stood. “I have to go.”

  “No.” Kim put a hand on Jane’s. “Let’s talk.”

  “Why? Will he suddenly fall out of love with his brother’s wife and make a life with me?”

  Kim sighed and tugged on her arm. Though Jane outweighed her by a good seventy pounds, she gave in and sat.

  “How did you find out?” Kim asked.

  “Colin came by.”

  Jane decided to leave out the part where Colin had caught them in bed.

  “Oh-oh,” Kim muttered.

  “What?”

  Kim hesitated an instant, then shrugged. “The last time those two were together, Bobby loosened a few of Colin’s teeth.”

  “Over Marlie?”

  “Yeah.”

  Jane sighed. “I suppose she’s beautiful. Small like you. Thin. Blond.”

  “You got blond. But Marlie’s…well, Marlie. She’s soft, sweet. She likes to have babies, take care of people, stay home and make cookies.”

  Jane frowned. Marlie didn’t sound like Bobby’s type at all.

  “It’s a long story,” Kim said.

  “So tell it fast.”

  Kim considered Jane for a few seconds, and then she began to speak. When she finished, they were silent. Zsa-Zsa’s laughter rang from the backyard. Every once in a while Ba would ba. In the distance a tractor hummed, revealing Brian Riley was hard at work somewhere else.

  “You aren’t going to give up on him, are you?” Kim asked.

  “Yes,” Jane said. “I think I am.”

  In Mexico, she’d believed her life was perfect. She didn’t need a man, she only wanted for a child. Then Bobby had snuck in and shown her what she’d been lacking.

  She’d miss him forever, but she wasn’t going to waste time or energy waiting for a love that would never come. There were people in the world who needed her.

  “It’s been great meeting you. We should keep in touch.”

  Jane headed for the door and Kim scrambled after her. “But—”

  “No buts. Bobby never promised love. He couldn’t. But I’m not begging for it, either.”

  She’d wished for her father’s love, begged for her mother’s, and it hadn’t done her any good at all.

  “Where are you going?” Kim asked.

  “I’m getting my dog, and then I’m going home.”

  As they reached the front of the house, Ba bleated loudly, and then she wouldn’t stop.

  “Someone’s here,” Kim murmured. “Someone Ba doesn’t like.”

  “Does she like anyone?”

  “Not really.”

  Kim glanced out the window next to the door. “I don’t know him.”

  Absently, Jane glanced outside, too. A trickle of unease filtered down her spine. “I do.”

  Something wasn’t right here, and if Jane had learned one thing in the past few weeks, it was that it was better to err on the side of caution.

  Kim reached for the door and Jane stopped her. “Go out the back. Grab Zsa-Zsa. Get Brian and go to your parents. Do not let Brian come here. You understand? Get Bobby.”

  “But—”

  The doorbell rang.

  “We don’t have time to argue,” Jane whispered.

  Kim stared into Jane’s eyes, and then she ran.

  Jane waited as long as she could before opening the door.

  JANE DIDN’T COME BACK, and Bobby had been so sure that she would. Where had she gone?

  His family finished breakfast. Dean went to work and took Colin, which would be amusing if Bobby felt like laughing. Colin had arrived wearing gray silk slacks, a crisp white shirt and shiny black shoes, which weren’t going to be shiny for very long.

  John went to town and took Tim. Bobby’s mother kept going to the door and muttering “Moron” before returning to the kitchen.

  “You’re not helping!” he shouted when she did it for the tenth time.

  Lucky an
d Bull trotted up, took one look at him and collapsed at his feet. Bobby stared at the two of them for a long minute. Lucky lay with her neck over Bull’s. They were awfully cuddly.

  “Did you get Bull fixed along with Bear?” he called.

  His mother appeared on the other side of the screen. “No. Remember, Bull’s a little backward. When we tried to breed him that one time, he didn’t get it.”

  “Seems like he’s getting it now.”

  Eleanor followed Bobby’s gaze.

  “Hell,” she said, and stomped into the kitchen.

  “Where would she go?” Bobby asked the dogs.

  They merely sighed, cuddled closer and remained silent.

  His mother came back. “She’s at Kim’s.”

  Bobby jumped to his feet. “Kim called?”

  “No. I just know these things.”

  She turned away, and he was left wondering if she’d been serious or not. He was never really sure.

  Bobby snapped his fingers and the dogs lifted their heads. “Car ride.”

  Bull ran toward the pickup trucks. Lucky followed. Bobby decided to borrow Colin’s. His brother had conveniently left the keys in the ignition. Colin was going to have a fit when he saw all the dog hair, which made taking it worthwhile.

  Bobby headed up the lane, then down the road. Both dogs hung their heads out of the window and drooled down the side of the sparkling black pickup. Colin would have a stroke.

  Bobby discovered he was grinning. Everything was going to work out fine.

  He’d find Jane, declare his love, then they’d pack up their stuff, including Lucky, elope and…

  He wasn’t quite sure. He’d cross that bridge once he convinced Jane she couldn’t live without him.

  Bobby turned into the driveway next to the sign that read Riley. Jane’s car was there. So were Brian’s, Kim’s and another he didn’t recognize.

  He wasn’t wild about declaring his love in front of a stranger, but whatever it took.

  Bobby climbed out and released the dogs. They ran off immediately—probably to make doggy love behind the barn. He didn’t relish informing Jane that they were probably going to be grandparents. He wondered what flavor of dogs Lucky and Bull were going to make. Doodles were cute but—

  He thought of Lucky and shuddered.

  Expecting Kim to come out of the house, he frowned when everything remained quiet. Too quiet, in fact. Where was Ba? The watch sheep was more vigilant than any dog. He hoped she hadn’t died during the years he’d been away. Ba might be cranky, but he liked her.