Digging Deep

by Elena Delle Donne

  We went back to school a couple of days later, on Thursday. It was kind of weird going back with only two days left in the week, and everybody was yawning and out of it.

  Except for Patrice. She met me at my locker that morning, and she was smiling and happy.

  “Hey, Elle,” she said. “How was your New Year’s?”

  “Nice,” I said. “How about yours?”

  “I just wanted to thank you,” she said. “Your mom talked to my mom.”

  “I hope you don’t mind,” I said. “But I was worried about you.”

  She nodded. “It’s okay. My mom wasn’t mad at me at all. She took me for some tests and it turns out your mom was right. I have Lyme disease.”

  “Oh no!” I cried.

  “Yeah, it stinks,” she said. “I probably got it at basketball camp over the summer. We went for a hike in the woods one day and I didn’t use the bug spray because I didn’t like how it smelled.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “Yeah, bug spray smells awful.”

  “But it might have saved me from a tick bite,” Patrice said. “Anyway, that’s just the bad news. The good news is that now I can get it treated. The medication will help me feel better. And maybe play better too.”

  “That is good news,” I said. “I’m glad you figured it out.”

  “It’s all because of you, Elle,” Patrice said. “My mom and I had a really good talk. I was nervous about telling her I wasn’t feeling good, and I shouldn’t have been. She was so understanding about everything!”

  “That’s good,” I said.

  “We even talked about how she pushes me so hard on the team,” Patrice went on. “She said she tries to separate being a mom and my coach. But she admitted that she might be taking things too far.”

  She paused and looked at me. “Maybe you can talk to her too, Elle. I know she’s one reason why you left the team.”

  “I tried talking to her once before,” I said. “It didn’t really help.”

  “Just think about it,” Patrice said, and I told her I would.

  I was happy that Patrice was going to be feeling better soon, and that mood lasted all morning. Because we were just back from break, the teachers took it easy on us too. Ms. Ebear had us watch a video about African history. In gym Mr. Patel didn’t make us do squats and push-ups, like he usually does. Everyone seemed a lot more relaxed than usual.

  Then I went to lunch, and tensed up a little as I walked into the cafeteria. I was ready to tackle something I’d been meaning to do for a few days: talk to Natalie and Hannah.

  I waited until everybody was sitting down and eating lunch. Then I nodded across the table to them.

  “So, can we talk?” I asked.

  Hannah looked at Natalie. Natalie shrugged. “Sure.”

  I took a deep breath. “Listen, I just want you to know that you guys are important to me,” I said. “I know we haven’t been hanging out as much since I quit the team. But I’m still your friend.”

  “Well, you’re not acting like it,” Natalie said. “You’re hanging out with the volleyball girls.”

  “We miss you, Elle,” Hannah said.

  “And you haven’t even come to any of our games,” Natalie added.

  “I know,” I said. “I just thought it would feel weird if I went.”

  “It’s weird that you’re not on the team,” Hannah said. “It’s just not the same without you. Is there any chance at all that you might come back?”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “As long as Coach is tough on me, and Bianca keeps giving me a hard time . . . I just don’t think I can do it.”

  Natalie frowned. “Let me talk to Bianca about it,” she said. “I know she wants you back on the team.”

  I glanced over at Bianca’s table. “You think that would help?”

  “Yeah, she wants to win, and we’re a better team with you,” Natalie said. “That’s just a fact.”

  “We’ll talk to her,” Hannah promised.

  I thought about this. If Bianca could just get off my back, it would make a big difference. She wasn’t the only reason I’d quit the team, though. Maybe it sounds corny, but by joining the Buddy Club and helping out the volleyball team, I was learning some new things about myself. And that felt pretty great.

  “I miss you guys too,” I said. “Whether I get back on the team or not, I promise we’ll hang out more.”

  “And you’ll come see us play?” Hannah asked.

  I nodded. “Do you have a game this weekend?” I asked.

  Natalie nodded. “Sunday. Home game.”

  “Then I’ll be there,” I said. “I promise.”

  Hannah smiled.

  “Are we cool?” I asked.

  “Definitely,” Natalie said. She ran around the table and hugged me. “Sorry, Elle. I guess we just thought we were losing you as a friend.”

  Avery held up her metal water bottle. “Cheers to friendship!”

  Everyone at the table—me, Avery, Patrice, Caroline, Natalie, and Hannah—grabbed their drink containers and touched them together. Then Caroline asked if anyone had studied for the science quiz yet and we had a nice, normal lunch with no eye rolling or anybody ignoring anybody else.

  I was glad I’d taken Mom’s advice and talked it out with Natalie and Hannah. The idea of going to a Nighthawks game still made me feel a little bit nervous. But if it meant making my friends happy, I would do it!

  • • •

  The next day was Friday, and we had volleyball practice right after school, even though we didn’t have a game that night because of the holidays. Coach Patel had us drill passing. I paired up with Maggie and we passed the ball back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth . . .

  Then we did serving drills. I was still trying to work on my control, so I liked doing that. Then we had another three-on-three practice game.

  Besides serving, I think I liked blocking best. It reminded me the most of basketball. Playing that pickup game on New Year’s Eve had got me thinking more about what I missed about basketball. Like the adrenaline rush of charging down the court. Or guarding someone coming right at you. In volleyball, being up at the net and staring down the player in front of me was the closest I got to that feeling.

  Even though we didn’t have a game, we had planned to go out to dinner after practice. Maggie’s mom drove us this time, and dropped us off at Burger Shack. When we got there, a girl with curly red hair and a bandage around her wrist was waiting for us—Lauren.

  Summer ran and hugged her. “Lauren!”

  “Kenya told me you guys were coming here, so I wanted to surprise everybody,” she said. “I have good news. The doctor says I can play again in two weeks.”

  The other girls started talking all at once as we took our seats at a big round table.

  “That is awesome!” Maggie said.

  “Yeah, that’s great news!” Taylor added.

  “So, I guess next week will be my last game,” I said.

  Kenya turned to me. “It doesn’t have to be. It would be great to have an extra player. Then we’d be able to sub out once in awhile.”

  “You don’t have to go, Ace,” Taylor said.

  This kind of took me by surprise. I thought my time on the volleyball team was going to be temporary. Did I want to stay on the team? I wasn’t really sure.

  “Can I take your order?” the server asked us.

  I ordered the ranch burger. At least that decision was easy, I thought.

  The subject changed to the school’s winter ski trip coming up. A few minutes later the server came to our table with a tray of drinks. His shoe skidded a little on the floor and he lost his balance—but he caught himself just in time. Not a drop spilled.

  “Serve it! Serve it! Do not swerve it!” Taylor chanted.

  The server smiled. “Volleyball team?” he asked.

  “Spring Meadow,” Kenya answered.

  “Nice,” he said. “I’ll be looking out for you guys in the 2028 Olympics.”

 
He gave us our drinks and then walked away.

  “He was cute,” Summer whispered.

  Then everyone started talking about cute boys at the school, and I tuned out. I imagined playing volleyball in the 2028 Olympics, in front of a cheering crowd. The ball came flying over the net. I passed it perfectly to Kenya, who set it to Summer, who spiked it over the net for a point.

  Pass, set, hit. Pass, set, hit. That was the rhythm of volleyball—so different from the rhythm of basketball. The scene in my head changed to a WNBA game. I tipped off the ball at the start of the game to Avery. Then I tore down the court, avoiding my defenders as Avery dribbled toward the basket. I found an opening and she passed it to me. My defender tried to guard me, but I jumped up high, so high, and tossed the ball into the basket. Two points!

  I was starting to realize something. I liked the laid-back vibe of this volleyball team. On the volleyball court I could relax and do my best without worrying about what the expectation of my best was supposed to be. But I missed the action and the moves of playing basketball. If I could have more fun playing basketball, I might be willing to join the team again.

  Fun. Why wasn’t playing on the Nighthawks fun? I wondered. Was it all the fault of Bianca and Coach Ramirez? Or was the problem inside my own head? I was blaming Coach for putting pressure on me, but was I the one putting pressure on myself?

  “Hey, Elle, did you order the ranch burger?” Taylor asked.

  I snapped out of my daydream. “Uh, yeah, that’s me,” I said.

  “First one to finish wins!” Taylor cried, taking a monster bite out of her burger.

  “Ew, gross!” Summer shrieked.

  “Taylor, you should enter one of those eating competitions,” Jenna said.

  I laughed, shaking my head at my crazy volleyball friends. They were definitely a lot of fun. I would miss them if I left the team in a couple of weeks.

  How was I going to decide?

  12

  View from the Bleachers

  Thanks for the ride, Mrs. Tanaka,” I said, climbing into the back seat.

  “You’re welcome, Elle,” she said. “It’s nice that you and Blake want to cheer on your friends.”

  “Yeah, nice that Blake wants to cheer on his g—”

  Blake turned around and punched my arm before I could say “girlfriend.” I figured out right then that his mom didn’t know he had one.

  “—his good friends,” I finished, and then I made a face at Blake.

  When we got to Spring Meadow, I repaid Blake for his punch in the arm. “So, your mom doesn’t know that Bianca is your girlfriend?” I asked.

  “Well, she’s not officially my girlfriend,” he replied. “But yeah, my mom doesn’t know that we like each other. I think she might freak out. Or ask a bunch of questions.”

  “She’ll figure it out sooner or later,” I told him. “Your mom’s pretty smart.”

  “I know,” he admitted. “But I’m going to see how long I can go.”

  I shook my head, laughing, and we walked inside the gym. The Nighthawks were warming up on one side of the court in their green and yellow uniforms. On the other side, girls in red and white uniforms—the Cardinals—took turns shooting at the basket.

  We made our way to the home side of the stands. Caroline’s brother Pete was there with their mom, and he scooted across the bleachers when he saw me.

  “Elle! Elle! Are you going to play today?”

  I shook my head. “No, I just came here to cheer on the team,” I told him.

  Pete frowned.

  “Hey, we can cheer Caroline together,” I said. “Will you help me cheer Caroline?”

  He nodded and cupped his hands around his mouth. “Go, Caroline!”

  “Go, Caroline!” I echoed.

  His sister looked up at the stands and smiled and waved at us. Then my other friends did too. Even Bianca waved, although I’m pretty sure she was waving at Blake, and not me.

  I nervously tapped my foot as Coach Ramirez gathered the team in a huddle. Who is she going to put in first? I wondered. What kind of defense is she using?

  The huddle broke apart and five Nighthawks moved onto the court. Coach had started Bianca as center, Avery as point guard, Hannah as shooting guard, Tiff as power forward, and Dina as small forward.

  Bianca and the Cardinals center went to half court for the tip-off. The ref blew his whistle and tossed the ball in the air. Bianca shot up like a rocket and batted it to Avery.

  Avery tore down the court, dodging the Cardinals defense.

  “Go, go, go!” I cheered.

  Avery made it all the way to the basket! She took a shot, but it bounced off the backboard. Luckily, Hannah was right there to rebound it. She grabbed it and tossed it in before the Cardinals defense could block her shot.

  “Two points!” Pete yelled next to me, and Blake and I whooped and cheered.

  From my seat in the stands I had a view of the team I’d never seen before—way different even from watching the game when I was benched. From the stands I could see how the whole team worked together. I could see how Dina would always aggressively go for the ball, and how Hannah always seemed a tiny bit unsure of where to be on the court. And how Bianca didn’t like to pass and always tried to take the shot herself.

  It also became really clear that the Nighthawks needed to work on their defense. The Cardinals scored three baskets that first quarter!

  “They need better teamwork out there,” I whispered to Blake, and he nodded.

  In the second quarter Bianca helped to lessen the gap with a score from the three-point zone. But it was Patrice, who came in for Dina, who was the most surprising. She was more confident on the court than I’d ever seen her! I’m not sure if she was feeling better already, or if she was just more confident because she had talked things out with her mom. Whatever the reason, she made some really great moves.

  Tiff passed her the ball and one of the Cardinal defenders was all over her. But Patrice executed a beautiful pivot and passed the ball to Avery, who had nobody guarding her. Avery sank two points.

  “Aveeerrry!” I cheered. Then I added. “Nice move, Patrice!”

  “Yeah, nice move!” Pete repeated.

  But my biggest surprise came in the third quarter. There’s a rule that no player can play all four quarters, so I knew that someone would have to sub in for Bianca as center. I wasn’t expecting it to be Amanda!

  It’s not that Amanda’s a bad player. But she’s not one of our taller players. And she’s also the least experienced member of the team.

  “Woo-hoo! You can do it, Amanda!” I yelled.

  To start the half, the center for the Cardinals took the ball to throw in, and Amanda ran to cover her. The girl was six inches taller than Amanda, but Amanda jumped up really high to guard her as the Cardinal passed the ball to her teammate. I literally gasped as Amanda grabbed the ball in midair!

  “Whoa!” I said.

  “That was pretty cool,” Blake remarked. “She was gonna get that ball, no matter what!”

  “And she got it!” I said, and Blake and I high-fived.

  The Nighthawks tied up the game by the end of the third quarter, 18–18. As the fourth quarter began, I realized I was on the edge of my seat. It was anybody’s game.

  My right foot began to tap more furiously on the bleachers. My whole body was itching to get in there and play! Blake sensed it.

  “Am I going to have to hold you back?” he asked.

  “You might,” I said. I really wanted to be out there, suited up and ready to join my teammates!

  When the fourth quarter started, the Cardinals took the ball down the court for an easy two points. Avery took the ball and passed it on to Patrice, who dribbled a few feet and then passed it to Caroline. She dribbled a few feet and passed it to Bianca. Three Cardinals surrounded her.

  I bit my lip, watching. What would Bianca do? She could try to jump higher than all of them and make the basket. Or she could pass to Avery, who was open, but
how would she get the ball past them?

  Bianca faked a pass. Then she faked again. And then, while the Cardinals were confused, she jumped up and made the shot! Three points!

  “Biaaaaaaaaanca!” Blake and I cheered, and Pete joined in.

  The Nighthawks didn’t keep their lead for long. The Cardinals scored another two points a few minutes later. Then the two teams traded the ball back and forth until the clock started winding down.

  There was less than a minute left in the game, and the Cardinals were up by a point. Bianca had the ball, and Patrice was wide open.

  “Bianca, look around you!” Coach Ramirez called out.

  Bianca spotted Patrice just as a Cardinals defender charged toward her. She made the pass. Patrice caught it, brought it closer to the basket, and shot it in for two points.

  Seconds later, the ref’s whistle blew.

  “Nighthawks win!” Pete yelled.

  Patrice was beaming. She ran to her mom, who grabbed her in a big hug. I was on my feet, clapping and cheering like crazy.

  “That game was intense,” I said. “So much action!”

  “Yeah, it was,” Blake said. “Did you see Bianca out there? The Cardinals didn’t know what to expect.”

  My heart was pounding, as if I’d been playing on the court with them. It had been an awesome game. And then I thought, if I can feel that way on the stands, could I feel the same joy again if I was on the court?

  I headed down to the court and found Amanda. Her cheeks were pink from the game, making her freckles stand out.

  “You played center!” I said.

  She grinned. “Yeah, well, nobody wanted to do it,” she said, “and I volunteered, so Coach said she’d give me a shot. I know I can never fill your shoes, Elle, but . . .”

  “You did great!” I told her. “You never gave up that ball easily. And you put your whole heart into it. That’s what matters.”

  “Thanks,” she said.

  Then I felt a tap on my shoulder.

  “Can we talk for a minute?”

  It was Bianca.

  “Sure,” I said, and she pulled me over to the sidelines.

  “So, Elle,” she said, and she was staring down at her sneakers. “I’m sorry if I gave you a hard time when you were on the team.”