Forever More

by Rachel De Lune

  His hand runs around from my hip to give my bum a harsh squeeze before going back to its original position. Seb’s words and seeing what is unfolding in front of me is a heady mix that has all of my senses focused on what’s around me. There is no room for anything else, and for that, I’m grateful.

  “In this position, bent over, your arse will be on perfect display for me. I’ll be able to spank you if you’ve been naughty, or give you the attention I know you crave from me.” Again, his hand moves around to squeeze my bum, and as he does, the hem of my dress hitches up higher on my thigh.

  Natasha is still in front of Sarah, talking to her, but I can see that Sarah is growing restless. She is fidgeting against the bench. The light in the room is just enough to show the glistening wetness between her legs, betraying her arousal. My temperature rockets and I fight my own need to fidget.

  “What are you thinking, Isabel? I can feel all of your reactions like this, and I need you to talk to me.”

  “I… I can see how turned on Sarah is. I can see that she’s wet.”

  “Yes, I have no doubt that she will be enjoying this. Are you? Are you wet already from what you’ve seen?”

  “Yes, I like watching this. I’m not sure if I should, but it’s very intimate.” I try to articulate my foggy thoughts.

  Seb’s fingers toy with the exposed flesh of my thigh, his other arm keeping me anchored to his chest. Natasha moves around Sarah and picks up her flogger again. With rapid movements, she lands light blows up and down Sarah’s back, bum and thighs. Her strikes beat out a steady and sure rhythm that relaxes my overactive heart. Now it’s Seb’s turn to keep constant contact with my skin. His fingers dig into my thigh, rub circles and inch higher before moving to a new spot. Watching the spanking and feeling Seb’s innocent touch is making me desperate. I want to feel his touch. I want to be under his command.

  “Natasha is going to move Sarah again into a more personal position. She’s going to continue the spanking across her lap so she can be in total contact and control of her. Her hands will still be tied. Sarah will have to give Natasha permission to do this, but I doubt that she’ll have any thought of objecting. Have you noticed how turned on she is? How much her body wants what Natasha is giving to her?”

  With Seb’s direction, my eyes linger on Sarah’s parted legs and I can see that her pussy lips are wet and dewy. Natasha stops her flogging and comes to stand at the side of Sarah. Making sure we have a clear view of what she’s doing, she sweeps a finger through her wet folds. Sarah groans in response, the first time I’ve heard her, and I can’t help my own mewl of need.

  Seb’s hand trails up behind my backside and skims a feather touch against my pussy. That touch is nowhere near enough and I want Seb to touch me like Natasha is touching Sarah. “Sebastian, will you touch me? Please?”

  “Mmm… certainly.” His fingers sweep over my lips, sending shocks to my neglected clit. “You’re wet Isabel. You’re beautifully wet. Do you want my fingers in you? Do you want me to bury them deep into your tight pussy until you clench around them?”

  Oh sweet lord. “Yes, please… Please, Sir.” His finger pushes inside me and I’m enveloped by relief followed by heat. Pleasure spikes as he slowly draws his finger back and replaces it with two, making my knees quake in my standing position. My hands haven’t moved from in front of me, but I feel desperate to wrap them around Seb, to get as close to him as I can. I’m split between wanting to watch the play between Natasha and Sarah and just focusing on Seb. I know that it’s both actions that have led me to let go of my fear and open up and relax into Seb. That and him getting me so damn horny I’m begging for it.

  Natasha and Sarah have moved. I can see that Natasha is sitting now, and Sarah is kneeling at her feet. She is offering her hands to Natasha for her to bind them again.

  “Sarah will have her hands tied in the front this time.” Seb’s fingers still play with me and I can feel the building of my orgasm. He pulls his fingers out of me, leaving me empty, and I hold back the whimper lodged in my throat. His hand moves to mine, still diligently crossed in front of me. He rests his hands over mine and I fight my body’s instinctive need to tense up.

  “Shh, sweetheart. Don’t panic. Focus on watching Sarah. She’s offering her hands to Natasha. She knows that Natasha won’t do anything against her wishes. She’s giving this to her—a sub to her Domme—like you give me your trust and your submission. Remember that first time? Remember your nerves, your lust, your strength to win through all of your doubts?” Seb’s words sink into my soul and I relax my hands. He rubs my wrists, making sure that I’m not going to tense on him again, and I can see that it’s working. I’m still here at Solace, not back with Phil. I can see Sarah’s hands are now bound and she’s resting her chest across Natasha and I can feel Seb adding pressure to my own hands, binding them with his.

  “Natasha is going to start hand spanking Sarah. They have talked about what the spanking is for. I want you to listen to what I say and repeat what I say. I will spank you as well. Do you understand?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good girl. I’m going to hold your hands as well. I want you to give them to me. Place your crossed hands in my palm so that I can keep you still.” He moves his arm off my clavicle and I place my wrists in his hand. As I do, a loud smack sounds out and echoes through the room. My eyes flash to Sarah and recognise the pleasure spread across her face. Seb glides the remainder of my dress over my behind, giving him easy access.

  As I watch Natasha’s hand arc down onto Sarah’s offered bottom, Seb lands his own soft smack to mine. “I will trust my Dom.” His deep gravelly voice resonates deep within me and I can’t help but feel the first crack in my emotions.

  “I will trust my Dom,” I whisper back, trying to feel the words he’s asking me to say.

  With Natasha’s next spank, Seb smacks me and delivers more words. “I will listen to my body.”

  I repeat the words, now understanding what Seb is making me do.

  “I will communicate openly.”

  I repeat the line.

  “I am wanted.”

  I breathe through the words as I echo them back.

  “I am needed.” Seb’s voice is calm and measured, telling me everything that I need to hear.

  “I am needed.”

  “I am loved.”

  My eyes can’t hold back the tears any longer and they fall at my admissions back to Seb. All of my fears and worries are being laid bare for Seb to wash aside and replace with his strength and love. “I am loved.”

  Determined to break me open completely, Seb continues. It’s harder to watch Sarah now through my bleary eyes, but I can hear her throaty moans of pleasure under Natasha’s hand.

  “I am my own person,” I repeat, feeling the power that saying these words aloud gives me.

  “I am independent.”

  “I am independent.”

  “I hold the power.”

  “I hold the power.”

  “My Dom loves me.”

  “My Dom loves me.” Seb loves me. For who I am. With every hit, Seb opens me up to the truth that he’s been trying to tell me from day one. Finally, I’m in a position to accept and to hear him. My body softens against him, using him to support my limbs under the onslaught of emotional release. He turns me around, finally releasing his grip on my hands. I quiver, standing before him. Seb recaptures my hands and brings them to his lips to kiss.

  “Do you understand now? Do you see? We’ll get through this, Isabel. I’ll be by your side. You’ve done so well tonight, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you.” He draws me in to an engulfing hug and I rest my head against his chest, listening to his racing heart.

  I love this man with everything I have. I know that tonight has helped to lay some of my triggers to rest, but I’ll have to listen to Seb, be guided by him and trust that he can help me when I can’t see my way to helping myself.

  “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you. I seem to always be
apologising.”

  “Shh, not now. Now is for us. Just us. You have no idea how well you’ve done tonight. At the risk of pushing us too far too quickly, I want to go to our room.”

  “That sounds perfect.”

  “I meant what I said, Isabel. We’ll get through this together. Trust that.”

  “I do, Sebastian. Thank you for getting me back to this place.”

  “Always.”

  “Always.”

  6 months later

  “Thank you, Amanda.”

  “I’ll see you next month.”

  I get up and leave Dr. Cross’s office after my latest session. Over the last few months, we’ve been working through a lot of my negative views and where they stem from, and with Seb’s help, I’ve been making real progress. I don’t see Amanda as a counsellor, but a confidante with whom I can share my troubles. She helps me to see my own problems and to work through them without simply telling me what to do.

  It’s early evening and my next stop is Jess. I have a favour to ask her, and hope that she’s free. As I pull up outside her house, I see Greg storm out, slamming the door behind him and barging past.

  “Jess?” I call out as I open the door. “It’s me.”

  “Hey, come in, come in.”

  “You sure? I just saw Greg and he didn’t look happy.”

  “Well, Greg is never happy. Drink?”

  “Just a tea, please. Is everything alright between you two?”

  “It’s the usual story. We’re not exactly seeing eye to eye. What are you doing here, anyway? It’s lovely to see you.” She brings two steaming cups of tea over to the table and we both sit down.

  “Well, I sort of need a favour. Are you free now?”

  “Now? Um… yes. What do you need?”

  “I need you to come with me to an appointment. It shouldn’t take long. A couple of hours, tops.”

  “Sure. Where are we going? Are you alright?” The concern in Jess’s voice is heart-warming and I struggle to keep my amusement to myself.

  “Yes, I’m fine. It’s a good thing. I just need you to hold my hand.”

  “Izzy, you know how I feel about being kept in the dark.”

  “You’ll see.” I grin at her, my smug smile beaming from behind my tea cup.

  An hour later, we’re both sitting in the small waiting area of a tattoo shop. The walls are dark and littered with pictures, randomly arranged in gilded frames.

  “I can’t believe you’re doing this,” Jess whispers beside me.

  “I know. It’s exciting.” My heart is beating fiercely in my chest.

  “I’m all up for holding your hand, but why, exactly, are you having a tattoo?”

  I’ve been purposefully vague to her but it’s time to come clean.

  “It’s my wedding gift. Or engagement gift, really.”

  “Engagement? You’re going to marry Seb?”

  “Yes.” My smile splits my face and my cheeks begin to ache with the joy at admitting to the decision that I came to a few weeks ago. Jess bundles me into her for a hug and we rock back and forth on the small sofa.

  “Oh, you totally deserve this, Izzy. What made you change your mind?” She pulls back from our hug.

  “Nothing specific. I think I just needed time to make the decision for me. It was always Phil or Seb taking charge of my life, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be married again. If I was going to get married, I wanted it to be my decision, not because I wanted to please Seb. This is my choice and I choose Seb.”

  “He’s going to be beside himself. He doesn’t know yet?”

  “No. I hope so.”

  “Don’t start doubting now.”

  “I’m not. Don’t worry. He’s stopped asking and I think that helped. It took the pressure off me and let me find my own answer and trust my feelings. It’s taken a while to believe in them again.”

  “Izzy? We’re ready for you now.” A willowy young woman calls us over and escorts us to the back of the shop. She points to a large leather chair that reminds me of a dentist’s chair, and a pulse of fear runs through me. “If you take a seat, Tanya will be over. She’s just printing out your design. Then we’ll get it placed before we start.”

  “Thank you.” I sit back in the seat and Jess pulls up the small office chair beside me.

  “So, what are you having done?”

  “My anklet, or a drawing of my anklet.”

  “I didn’t know you wore an anklet?” Jess looks a little puzzled, and I guess she would be.

  “It’s something between me and Seb. Don’t worry. He’ll understand.”

  “Hi, nice to see you again, Izzy.” Tanya is next to me now with a thin sheet of paper in her hand. “You ready? I just need to get this positioned. If you can take off your shoes.” I take off my shoes and rest my foot on the chair so Tanya can press the design around my foot and get the perfect position for the chain.

  “I brought the actual anklet to help. Jess, it’s in my bag.” Jess rummages for a second and pulls out the little black box.

  “Perfect. I’ll add some embellishments to the basic design.” A fuzzy purple ring appears on my ankle and I panic, thinking about how this could come out—a horrible black ring forever around my ankle. Stop it. It will be fine. I chide myself and take a breath. Tanya knows what she’s doing. She adds a few details with a pen before sitting back.

  “Right, happy?” I glance down and look closely, seeing the small details and crystals she’s drawn on by hand.

  “Yes, let’s go for it.” Jess claps her hands in excitement as Tanya busies herself with the final preparations.

  I lean right back in the chair and look up at the ceiling, expecting the worst. I feel Jess’s hand close around mine and I squeeze it hard.

  “Right, ladies. The sound is worse than the pain. Keep still and just say if you want me to stop at any time, okay?”

  “Yep,” I force out.

  “Right. Sound first, then you’ll feel a slight scratching sensation.”

  A high-pitched, whiney buzzing fills my ears for a few seconds before stopping. Then, it’s back. Tiny, sharp pinpricks press into my bony ankle and send flashes of pain through me. I close my eyes and breathe through it, grasping Jess’s hand harder. I bear the uncomfortable pain for a few moments before I get a rest. Tanya starts again seconds later, and I go back to trying to block it out. Just as I think the pain is going to be too much, it eases somewhat as she moves round to a more fleshy part of my ankle.

  “You’re doing really well, Izzy,” Tanya says, and I open my eyes to watch her. The metal contraption she holds looks clunky in comparison to the tiny black she’s marking on my skin. I watch for a few more moments, now used to the pinprick sensation.

  “It’s looking great, Izzy.” Jess is more engrossed than me. I close my eyes again and hope that Seb will be as pleased as I am that I’m giving this to him. “So, when is the wedding?”

  “Wedding? Oh, not for a while. I’ve not even told him I’ll marry him yet.”

  “Ha, don’t make me laugh. He’s been wanting to put a ring on you for nearly a year. Get ready for a winter wedding.” Her comment doesn’t upset me. It makes me giggle, but I quickly stop, wary of moving about too much.

  We sit quietly with just the buzzing for a few minutes before Jess starts up the conversation again.

  “When’s Phil’s hearing?”

  “In a few weeks.”

  “Are you alright, you know, with being a witness?”

  “Yes. Although I didn’t press the charges, I still get to stand up for myself, even if it’s a bit late.”

  Phil assaulted Sophie, the girl he was cheating on me with, after she kicked him out. The police came to question me and I ended up telling them about my attack. I am now a witness for the prosecution against him.

  “I’m proud of you. You didn’t have to do anything.”

  “I know, but how could I not? Having Seb to support me and being able to talk it through with Dr. Cross has also h
elped. Hopefully, it will give me some closure as well.”

  Our conversation trails off and I try to focus on something other than the buzzing sound of the gun. I zone out for a while, contemplating how my life has changed over the last few months. Six months ago I didn’t think I’d ever get out from under the overwhelming changes to my life. Now, I know that it was all worth it.

  “Right, Izzy, I’m about done. I need to wash you off and get you wrapped up.” Tanya stops the pin-scratching and I relax my body, unaware of how much tension I was holding on to.

  She cleans and then wraps my pretty anklet in cling film, and my excitement dies at the fact that it won’t be perfect and pretty to show Seb.

  “Take off the film when you get home and then soak it and wash it with warm water and antibacterial soap. Let it air dry. You can show your guy then. You have to apply Bepanthen before wrapping it back up, okay? It’s all on our website.”

  I thank Tanya as I pay my balance, and Jess drives us back to her place where I pick up my car and head for home.

  Seb and I are still renting the same place, but I have started looking for something to buy. I’m in no rush, though, and neither is Seb. The last six months have meant change for Seb as well as me.

  We have reached a point we’re both happy with when it comes to D/s. I always submit in the bedroom, when we are at home and when we go to Solace. It’s a good compromise and one that we both benefit from. Seb can still get the high from the TPE element, but without it causing me to worry or question myself to the point of confusion. We check in through the day, but the rules aren’t as rigid as they were. When Seb is away, the frequency increases.

  I can trust that Seb, as my Dom, will stretch my submission, but he knows where my weak spots are, and when he needs to pull back. We are happy, but it’s within my power to put the cherry on the cake, and I intend to do just that.

  I park and enter the house, a ball of excitement. Seb is in the kitchen and I call out as I rush upstairs to clean my new ink. I run a shallow bath and rest my foot in it for a few minutes before cleaning it with soap. I change into a black lace dress, which is short and has a revealing neck line. It is one of my Solace dresses—the ones I wear only when submitting to Seb—and I pad barefoot back to the kitchen.