by Allie Kay
9
Jack
I looked up when I heard footsteps in the hall. When Joy walked into the kitchen, my heart raced again. What was it about this woman that got to me more than any other? Yes, she was beautiful, but it was more than a physical attraction. Somehow, we seemed meant to be.
I closed my eyes for a second. Meant to be? Where the hell did that come from?
When I opened my eyes, Joy was smiling at me. A real smile, not that soft polite smile she’d given me at the orthopedist’s that day. No, this was a big, brighten her entire face sort of smile. I found my lips turning up in response.
“Now I’m ready,” she said softly, grabbing her purse from the counter. “Do you want us to follow you over or ...?”
“Why don’t you just ride with me? Then you don’t have to pay delivery fees because I can bring it home in my truck.” And it kept her close for a short time, even if Mateo would be there as a buffer.
She tilted her head slightly and considered the question. “Okay. We’ll need to move Mateo’s car seat.”
“And?” I shrugged. “Is it that hard to do?” I hoped not. But having never touched a car seat, I had no clue what moving one would entail. Surely it couldn’t be that difficult.
“Well, no. Not really.” She looked at Mateo and asked, “What do you think, buddy? Want us to follow Mr. Jack or take a ride in his truck?”
The little boy rolled his eyes at his mother and sighed. “Do you have to ask? Really, Mama? You know, I think maybe your brains are still asleep. You need coffee. Like a whole pot of it.”
I snorted and had to cover with a fake cough when Joy glared at me. I winked at her and she looked away, her cheeks darkening once more. Flirting with Joy was fun. Getting her to blush had become almost a game.
“Fine. We will ride over with you.” She waved them out the door. “Let’s go. I need time to shop and you said you have to work.”
“Not until two. We have some time.” I moved slowly so that she’d have to push me a bit to get me out the door. Anything to get her hands on me.
What the hell was happening to me? Joy brought out the love-struck teenager in me. A phase I thought I’d left behind a decade ago. She made me feel young again.
Moving the car seat was not the harrowing ordeal I’d feared it might be. And within a few minutes, I had the truck on the road, heading toward the town square with Mateo singing away in the back seat.
“Does he sing all the time?” I asked Joy in a low voice. Didn’t want to insult the kid, after all, but he was on like the fiftieth song today already.
“A significant portion, yeah.” She smiled. “He plans to be a rock star.”
I laughed. “I wanted to be a cop at that age. My mom and dad bought me this little cop costume one Halloween, with handcuffs and a badge. I wore that shit everywhere for like a damn year. It was about two sizes too small before I finally gave it up.”
“I was certain that I was going to be the next prima ballerina. Unfortunately, it turned out that ballet was so not my thing. Seems it requires coordination. I’m not so good with coordination. So, did you become a cop?”
I snorted. “Not even close.” And that was probably the understatement of the century. I’d given up on that dream long before I’d screwed the pooch on my future. But every now and again, I wondered what life would have been like if I’d never started drinking. If I’d stayed away from some of the high school parties, or the frat parties when I started college. Drinking took a lot of dreams from me.
“No?” There was a pause while she seemed to wait for me to answer. “So, what do you do now?”
“I’m a bartender.”
“Oh.” That single syllable rushed out. Clipped. Hurried. The tone screamed of shattered hopes and painful memories. Two tiny letters carried a catastrophic end to a seemingly innocent conversation.
I glanced over at her. The light seemed to have left her eyes. Somehow, and I had no friggin’ clue how, I’d screwed up. Grabbing her hand, I squeezed it. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She shook her head. “Really, it’s nothing.”
“The hell it’s nothing. Talk to me.” Rubbing my thumb gently over her hand, I waited a moment before adding, “Please.” I really had no clue what I’d done. Had she remembered where we’d met before? Figured out that I was an ex-con? I needed to tell her about that… Maybe I should just bite the bullet and see if that was it, see if my past was screwing my future again.
She sighed. “It’s just... my ex had a drinking problem. It took a lot for me to escape that life and I don’t want to get pulled back into it.”
She pulled her hand away and stared out the window. I thought of a hundred things I might say, but none of them seemed right in that moment. So, we rode the rest of the way with only Mateo’s slightly off version of the alphabet on repeat to break the silence.
She seemed so tense. And I’d added to it. She clearly didn’t want to be here with me at the moment, but was caged in by the confines of my truck, by riding with me. Today, I became the warden, imprisoning her within the shackles of her past.
How did I reassure her that I was nothing like that sorry alcoholic she’d married? When even now the AA chip in my pocket weighed heavily on both my thigh and my conscience. When I’d spent years in prison as a result of my drinking…
When I parked the truck in front of the second-hand shop, Joy hopped out before I could even shut the truck’s engine off. She had Mateo out of the car seat before I made it around the side and was halfway to the sidewalk before I could catch up. Her demons must be hounding her something fierce today. I sighed. If she reacted this way to finding out that I worked near alcohol, hearing the full story of my past might send her out of town like the hounds of hell were on her heels.
I followed them into the store quietly, giving Joy a little space by physically putting some distance between us. She stopped just inside the crowded little shop and looked around for a moment. I watched as she scoured the shop, prioritizing her needs, before heading to the far back corner where the beds were. I trailed behind, staying within sight, but not too close. This was her furniture, her decision. I was apparently only a chauffeur. A somehow unwanted chauffeur at that.
I shook my head. That line of thinking wouldn’t get me anywhere. What I knew of her past, of her ex, was enough to make anyone skittish. And as much as I wanted her, even I could see she wasn’t ready for a relationship. Certainly not of the intensity I could see brewing between us. So, I’d back off. Bide my time. And when she was ready, then I’d make more of a move.
Joy flitted from bed to bed, looking them over quickly and checking the price tags. Some she nodded slightly at, others earned a quick shake or even a wince. But she didn’t seek out my opinion, and I didn’t want to intrude.
The small TV section played a selection of college football games, so I stopped in front of the largest and checked the score. My team played in the late game, so I’d have to try to catch the score if we had any downtime tonight. The current game was tight. I let myself get absorbed into the action on the screen.
“Mr. Jack, do you like this black shiny bed or this wood one better?” Mateo tugged my hand. “I like the wood one. The shiny one feels weird when I touch it, but Mama says it is cheaper so we better get it.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I got no stake in this, kid.”
“But you do have an opinion,” Joy prompted. She arched her brow and stared until I responded.
“Yeah. I have an opinion.” I stepped over to check the price tags and looked more carefully at the beds before answering. “And that opinion is that the wood bed is better made. The metal bed has some rust there on the frame that may affect future stability.”
“Hmm.” Joy moved closer to see where I pointed. “I missed that. Thank you.”
“So, I can get the wood one?” Mateo perked up, looking back and forth between his mom and me.
“Seems so,” she murmured.
“Joy, if
cost is your biggest concern, then look at it this way, with the wood bed having the solid platform, you don’t need the box. You can just get a mattress. So, it probably evens out.”
“Right.” She flashed one of those polite smiles at me. Damn, we were back to the hidden emotions and the fake smiles. Damn. Damn. Damn.
“Now you need a bed too, Mama.” Mateo grabbed her hand and pulled her over to a big fancy bed, with tall posts and a canopy. “This one looks like a princess bed, maybe you can get it?”
“It is pretty.” Joy looked at the price tag and jerked away. “Not at that price. Mama doesn’t need anything that fancy, sweetie.” She stepped away and started looking at the less ornate beds. The ones with a few more scuff marks propped against the wall considered undeserving of a display set up seemed to be her focus.
Glancing at the price tag, I winced too. Three grand for a used bed? Good God, were the posts filled with precious gems or what? I didn’t think I was quite as frugal as Joy, but that was too much.
A few minutes later, Joy waved me over. “What do you think of these two?” She pointed at a barnwood headboard and an older cherry head and foot board that had a matching dresser.
I glanced at the prices and looked the pieces over. “Both seem solid. Whichever you like best.”
“Hmm. I maybe need to think on it. I like the rustic one, but I’m going to need a dresser, too.” She wandered over toward the couches.
Mateo flopped down on a big bean bag placed at the foot of one of the display beds. He flung a little hand up over his eyes and whined. “We’re gonna be here all day, aren’t we?”
“Seems like it.” I crouched down next to him. The kid hadn’t seemed like a whiner before. But maybe whining was normal for kids forced into furniture shopping? Hell, I’d felt like whining the day Talia made me spend a whole day furniture shopping. Sean still owed me for that one. “But you guys need furniture, don’t you?”
“Yeah. We couldn’t take any of our old stuffs when we left after Father fell asleep.” Mateo dropped his voice to a whisper and added, “If Father finds us, I bet we will be in big trouble. He doesn’t like when we go places without him.”
The formality of which Mateo spoke of his father didn’t escape me. I ran a hand over Mateo’s head. “He was mean, huh?”
“Oh yeah. One time, he—”
“Mateo, come over here. I need your help,” Joy called from the next section, putting an end to her son’s confession.
I followed slowly behind as the little boy ran over to his mom’s side. The question of how could anyone hurt them kept running through my head. Alcohol clearly played a part. Stuffing my hand into my pocket, I sought out the token I carried everywhere. I rubbed my thumb over the raised lettering on my eight-year chip. If there was one thing I knew from personal experience, it was just how much alcohol could screw up a man’s life.
10
Joy
Jack seemed to have infinite tolerance. He answered Mateo’s legion of questions without a hint of frustration in his eyes, not a smidge of impatience in his tone. I’d hardly known a man could be that calm and understanding with a child.
My dad was never abusive like Ricky, but he’d been prone to sending me and my sister away for talking too much, or for playing too loudly. His inflexible attitude matched Ricky’s. Yet, somehow, it had surprised me when the two had become best buds.
Jack, however, not only helped us find the much-needed furniture basics, he’d brought it home in his truck. I’d damn near needed a bib to catch the drool when he flexed his muscles carrying in the furniture. Lord, the biceps on that man were a sweet sight.
He was now letting Mateo help him put the beds together. Jack sat on his knees explaining the bed-building process to a completely enthralled Mateo. I watched from the doorway, unwilling to make the slightest sound for fear of ruining the sweet dynamic.
“Mr. Jack, I ain’t never builded no furniture before.”
“You haven’t built,” Jack corrected softly. “And like the raking, you gotta learn sometime. Gimme that hammer.”
“Which one’s the hammer?”
“Um… the big thing with the handle that has claws on the one end.”
“Oh.” Mateo grabbed the hammer out of the tool box Jack had brought over. “This?”
“Yup.” Jack took it and whacked the frame a couple times lightly, until the pieces popped into place. He moved to the other corner. Holding the pieces together, he asked Mateo, “You wanna knock this side in? Take the hammer, hit these boards right here with the flat side of the head.”
“Ohh… I can help?” Mateo looked terrified.
“Yeah. I need a helper. This is a two-man job.”
“Okay…” Mateo’s hand shook as he took the hammer. “Are you sure, Mr. Jack?”
“Yeah, buddy. Hit it right there.” He nodded and waited patiently for Mateo to build up the courage to take a swing at the bed frame.
I waited too. This was a huge step for Mateo. To be included in some task with a male role model. He’d never really had that. I longed for the camera I’d left behind in Ohio. This was a photo-worthy moment for sure.
Whack.
Mateo dropped the hammer and ran to the opposite corner of the room. My whole body tensed, ready to intervene when Jack surely would jump up to beat Mateo for smacking his hand with the hammer. I’d moved two steps into the room when Jack spoke.
Still holding the bed parts, he stuck his thumb in this mouth and his hard exhale was both visible and audible. “Hit the boards, not me this time.” He nodded toward the hammer. “Come on. Pick it up and try again.”
Mateo shook his head and crouched in the corner. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Jack. Really sorry.”
“I know, kid. I’m not mad at you. Come here and finish what you started.” I didn’t see any signs of anger in Jack. None of the tense muscles or twitching eyes that usually led to a violent rage in Ricky. He seemed calm, if slightly frustrated.
Mateo looked over at me and back to Jack, but he didn’t move.
Jack sighed. “I’m not mad. I promise you I’ll never hurt you. I need help here.”
Mateo inched closer, fear still on his little face. My arms ached to go to him, to cuddle him and murmur reassurances. But I knew he needed to work through this fear. Tears filled my eyes when my brave little boy took the hammer back in his chubby grip.
Pure determination filled his eyes. “I promise I won’t whack you again, Mr. Jack.”
Jack laughed. “I’d really appreciate that. Now, try again.”
Whack.
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. Good job. Now do it again. Just like that.” Jack praised Mateo’s efforts.
Even from across the room, Mateo’s response to Jack’s encouragement was visible. He stood straighter. His movements held more confidence. Pride shone bright in his blue eyes. All from such simple words.
“I did it.” Mateo’s smile went from ear to ear. “Mr. Jack, look! I did it.”
“Yeah, you did! Now, let’s get the next corner in.”
I watched as they finished building the bed together. Jack quietly encouraged Mateo and he seemed to be thriving under Jack’s attentions. As cute as it was, I’d have to be careful to make sure that Mateo didn’t get too attached to Jack. Hell, I was already in danger of getting too attached to Jack myself and I needed to slow us both down.
“Watch out, buddy.” Jack waited until Mateo had moved over next to me and tossed the twin mattress over onto the frame they’d just assembled. “All right. Bed one is done.”
“Yeah. Mama, did you see how good we did?” Mateo puffed his chest out in pride.
“I did see. You guys did great!” I ran a hand over his soft hair. “You are awesome, buddy. Look how much you helped Mr. Jack.”
“Now we gotta build yours, Mama.” Mateo grinned up at me. “But don’t you worry. I’m a good builder.”
Jack looked at his watch. “We gotta get moving. I’ve gotta be at work before lon
g.”
“You can go if you need. I can maybe figure it out.” My words sounded more confident than I felt. Most mechanical things were beyond my ability. I just didn’t seem to think that way. I’d screwed up things with great directions before, and the used bed I’d bought didn’t come with any instructions at all.
“Nah. I’ll get it together for you.” Jack moved into the other bedroom. “You coming, Mateo?”
The second bed took far less time for them to assemble than the first had. I watched, unsure if it went together faster simply because of the style or if Jack had moved slower with Mateo’s bed than he moved with mine.
“Done,” Mateo declared while putting the hammer back in the tool box. Jack flipped the box and mattress onto the frame and nodded in agreement.
“Thank you.” I felt like I owed Jack more than a couple words in thanks. He’d been so good to me. I had no idea how to repay him without it coming across as hitting on him though.
“No problem.” He stretched and his t-shirt rose up, giving me the most delicious glimpse of bare skin. “I need to get ready for work. But first, I’d like to have a little talk with you, Mateo.”
“Me?” Fear sparked in Mateo’s eyes.
“Yup. Come here a sec.” Jack sat on the edge of the bed and patted the mattress. “I want to talk to you about what happened a few minutes ago.”
“I said I was sorry!” Mateo squeaked out and ran behind me.
My heart raced. Had I been wrong about Jack? I’d thought he was going to let the banged thumb go, but now he wanted to talk about it. My breathing grew shallow. A man of Jack’s size could do some serious damage to someone my size, and I didn’t want to even think of what he could do to a child Mateo’s size.
Jack flopped back on the bed. “Will every move I make cause you to think I’m going to hurt you?”
“You aren’t going to—”
“Hell no. I’ve never hit a woman in my life. And haven’t hit a kid since I was a kid myself. Not every man is like your ex.” He flung his arm over his eyes. “What do I have to do to convince you of that?”