Heartsong (Garden Falls, TN Book 3)

by Allie Kay

  “Stray cat or something, maybe.” He nuzzled my cheek, his breath warm and tempting against my jawline. “You should get inside before you freeze.”

  “I should, before I do something stupid like invite you in.” I winced as the bold honesty poured from between my lips. That came out all wrong. But before I could apologize, he began to laugh.

  His almost silent laughter shook us both. “Joy, I—”

  A car door slammed down the street and the neighborhood dogs began barking in the darkness. Fear shimmied down my spine and I clutched Jack’s shirt more tightly in my now shaking hands.

  “Do you think someone was watching us earlier?” A squeak highlighted my tone, revealing far more of my current state of mind than I’d have liked to admit.

  “Not sure. Get inside and lock the door.” Jack stepped away and strode toward the front of the house. His moves were bold, confident, and made me long for that sort of strength and courage.

  I didn’t wait for him to round the corner before I ran inside. I locked the door and pressed my face against the cold glass, watching, waiting, for Jack’s return. My breath fogged up the pane. I swiped at it with a sleeve, the streaks from the textured weave of my coat marring the once clear surface. My breath came in short, shallow pants.

  A shadow at the corner of the house moved toward my door. I couldn’t breathe at all. My heart pounded in my ears. Thump. Thump. Thump.

  The shadow sharpened into the outline of a man. I stumbled back from the door into the counter, a hand over my mouth to silence a would-be scream.

  Tap. Tap. Tap. “Joy? It’s Jack. Can you open up?”

  I rushed over to let him in. He stepped inside and I flung myself into his arms, my first real breath since coming inside releasing as a sob.

  “Shh… I’ve got you.” He rubbed my back and placed soft kisses on the top of my head. “All I could see was a car taking off at the end of the street. It was there when I came in. I don’t know if the neighbor went to work early, or if it was something more. I’ll keep an eye out though.”

  “I thought it might have been Ricky.” Queasiness rose up and I nearly gagged with the effort of keeping my dinner from ending up on Jack’s boots. I closed my eyes and focused on leveling out my breathing. Even still, my voice shook as I admitted, “I thought he’d found us.”

  “Hey,” Jack murmured, tipping my face up and brushing his lips across mine gently. The gentleness in his touch reached down into my soul, soothing the stabs of fear and lending me some of his strength. “I’m here. If you need me, I’m never more than a phone call away. Okay?”

  I stayed in his arms for a few more minutes, until I’d calmed myself enough to free him from the death grip I’d had on his t-shirt. Once I’d stepped away, he hopped up to sit on the counter.

  “So, do you sleep in those little shorts every night?” His gaze drifted down my bare legs before flitting back up to my face.

  I giggled. “You are just trying to distract me.”

  “No, I’m trying to get back to the original topic of conversation. The one where you kiss me and there are no pants.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Of course that’s where your mind is.”

  “Hey, I was just going to go inside and get some sleep. You are the one who came outside half-dressed and threw yourself into my arms.”

  “You make me sound like a floozy.” I wrapped my arms around myself, suddenly self-conscious about my actions. I don’t know what came over me. It had just felt right and I’d acted on impulse.

  Jack hopped off the counter and wrapped his arms around me. “Never. And please, feel free to welcome me home like that every night. You’ll never hear a complaint out of me.”

  I had no clue what I should say, so instead I leaned my head on his shoulder and tried unsuccessfully to stifle a yawn. Now that the adrenaline had worn off after my scare, exhaustion was hitting pretty hard. Not that I had slept much in recent years. I was constantly running on scattered, broken sleep. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I ever got the recommended eight hours.

  “I should go.” He brushed his lips against my forehead. “Where’s your phone?” He took the little flip phone I’d bought somewhere in Kentucky and put his number into it before heading home to the other half of our shared house.

  I checked the locks again before I crawled back into bed. Staring up at the ceiling, I listened to Jack bump around on the other side of the door that didn’t open. For the first time since Ricky had first hurt me in my sleep, going to sleep didn’t scare me. Jack’s movements, so close and so reassuring, soothed me back to sleep like a lullaby.

  13

  Jack

  A child’s laughter tinkled in from the yard. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I poured the first cup of coffee for the day. I added a little sugar and stepped out onto the porch.

  Joy chased Mateo around the yard. Mateo’s ragged little donkey sat on the step, as if he were supervising the play. I sank down next to the once plush toy and watched them play.

  As I sipped at the hot brew, I thought how homey the scene in front of me was. It felt… cozy. Right. I leaned against the handrail and stretched my legs out. Maybe I’d join them after I finished this cup, but I hated to interrupt the sweet play between mother and son.

  I’d just swallowed the last drop when I caught their attention. They made their way over to me, Joy still smiling, Mateo looking worried. I sighed. I’d ruined their morning just by coming outside. The worry and hint of fear on Mateo’s face spoke volumes. The kid was still scared of me.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt.” I stood to go back inside. Hopefully, they could get back to the playful dynamic again once I took myself out of their line of sight. The last thing I’d wanted to do was scare either of them.

  “No!” Mateo ran over and hugged my leg. My heart did a weird flop as the little boy squeezed my thigh. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings yesterday. Please don’t be mad with me anymore.”

  I pulled Mateo loose from my leg and picked him up into a proper hug. I held Mateo tight. “Oh, kid, I was never mad to start with.”

  “You wasn’t?” Mateo asked when I set him back on his feet. He arched a tiny brow in my direction. “You looked mad when you leaved.”

  “Left. I looked mad when I left,” I corrected. I rubbed a hand over my eyes. How did I explain this to Mateo without making it worse? “I was never mad. Really, I wasn’t.” I sat down on the top step and patted the worn wood beside me. “Sit down a minute.”

  Mateo eased himself down next to me.

  “You know why I got upset?”

  “Cause I hit you with the hammer.” Mateo scooted ever so slightly farther away. “I’m really sorry ‘bout that, Mr. Jack.”

  I slid my arm around Mateo’s waist and pulled him close. Keeping the little guy pinned against me, I explained the truth about why I was upset. “When you hit my thumb, it did hurt.” I tilted Mateo’s face up so that the kid had to look at me. “But that didn’t make me mad. I swear. What upset me was not that you hurt my thumb. It was your reaction immediately after that. It was the fear I could see in your eyes when you scrambled backward away from me to hide behind your mama.”

  Mateo closed his eyes, a small tear leaked out of one and trailed down his chubby little cheek. “I didn’t want to get whooped.”

  Wiping the tiny drop away with my thumb, I nearly cried myself. What hell had that man put this sweet child through? “Look at me, please.”

  Mateo opened his eyes and stared up at me, tears threatening to well over any second.

  “I am not your father. I don’t whoop kids. Or mamas. Okay?”

  “You wasn’t gonna whoop me?”

  “No. I wasn’t. You want to know why I was trying to call you back over there? It’s because I wanted you to finish what you started. We started that bed. We had to finish it. That’s what a real man does. Okay?”

  “Okay, Mr. Jack.” Mateo cuddled into my side and the wet warmth of fallen tears soaked thro
ugh my shirt.

  I held the little boy close until it seemed he’d purged himself of all the tears he needed to shed that day. When the sobbing stopped and all that remained was a bit of hiccupping. I leaned back. “Have you had breakfast yet? I’m starving.”

  “I had a pop-tart with frinkles on it. But I’m getting hungry again.”

  Joy sat down beside us, a big smile on her face. “You’ll learn that Mateo stays hungry. I like to call him ‘my little hobbit’ because he eats like a hobbit. He’s all about breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, and so on. If there’s food to be had, he’s in on it. And yet stays skinny as a rail.”

  “There’s a diner over on Lake Street that has a decent breakfast, or we could hit up the doughnut shop.” I reached out and rubbed a thumb along Joy’s jaw. “Good morning, by the way.”

  She blushed a soft pink and whispered, “Good morning.”

  “I really like doughnuts. Mama, can we go with Mr. Jack and get doughnuts?”

  “My treat,” I offered.

  She laughed softly. “The two of you ganging up on me now? I don’t stand a chance, do I?”

  “Nope. But we don’t mind if you try on occasion,” I joked. “Right, Mateo?”

  “That’s right.” He leaned against his mama and added, “We love you, Mama.”

  “So, how ‘bout them doughnuts?” I changed the subject. I didn’t want Joy to feel uncomfortable talking about love this early on, but it would be rude to contradict Mateo and say I didn’t love Joy. Not that I was in love with her, but that wasn’t an argument I wanted to have with a four-year-old when we’d just patched up our last misunderstanding.

  “Mateo and I need to clean up a bit. Can you give us a few minutes?” Joy asked.

  “Yup. I’ll just lock up and meet you at the truck.” I stood and stretched. Mateo and Joy walked back to their unit. I stuck the coffee cup on the table by the door and picked up my keys.

  I locked the door and when I turned back around, I noticed a silver car as it inched its way down the street. The nondescript sedan appeared to be a rental. The driver had a big brimmed hat and sunglasses on that shielded most of his face. The car slowed even more and almost came to a stop in front of the house.

  I stepped off the porch and toward the car. When I did, the guy stepped on the gas and sped away. The car ran the stop sign and nearly hit another car. What the hell was that about?

  “What’s wrong?” Joy asked from behind me.

  I spun to face her. “Nothing. I just thought I saw something… You know, I’m probably just being paranoid after last night. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

  I really wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to spook her. She’d been so afraid last night. If that was her ex, and I worried that it might be, then she’d run and I’d lose her. Lose Mateo.

  I wanted to find this guy and put an end to this shit once and for all.

  14

  Joy

  A tightness in Jack’s posture told me there was more to the situation than he’d let on. But maybe that was my fear talking. I looked in the direction I caught him staring, toward the stop sign, but nothing looked out of place. Already familiar cars lined the picturesque tree-lined street. A few yards had been raked to a manicured perfection, even more remained blanketed by the colorful shroud of fall decay.

  No movement caught my eye. I didn’t see a single soul out on this crisp late November morning but us. So, what had he been staring at that had made him so tense?

  He shook his head and moved over to me. Taking one of my hands, he brought it up to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “You ready to go?”

  “Yes. Mateo is so ready. He’s getting his car seat out of the car.” My heart raced at the sweetness of Jack’s actions. I needed things to slow down between us though. Things were moving way too fast for comfort. “Um… about last night.”

  “Regretting throwing yourself at me? Aren’t you glad I have some restraint then?”

  “Throwing myself at you? I did not!” Outrage filled my voice. Okay, maybe I had kissed him without warning. But it was hardly throwing myself at him.

  “Oh really?” His eyes twinkled in the bright morning sun. Mischief danced behind those dark lashes. “You came outside, in the middle of the night, without shoes. Hell, without pants. You tangled your fingers in my hair. You pulled my head down where you planted one on me.” He slipped his arms around my waist and tugged me close. Dropping his voice, he added, “Not that I’m complaining. Please, throw yourself at me any time you get the urge.”

  “Jack… Mateo might see.”

  He released me and stepped back. “Yeah. You’re right. We should keep things quiet. Don’t want to get the little guy upset.”

  “Despite how I acted last night, I am not ready for a relationship.” I peered up at him, scouring his face for hints of anger. Resignation, a hint of frustration, but no anger.

  “Okay. Well, I promised the boy doughnuts. Don’t make a liar out of me.” Jack stepped around me and walked to his truck.

  As I watched the calm and gentle way he helped Mateo with the car seat, carefully getting him buckled in, I silently cursed myself. After years of hell with Ricky, I finally found a good guy and my hang-ups were going to destroy my chances with him. If I had any money, any insurance, I’d see a counselor. Maybe a professional could teach me how to undo years of Ricky’s private brand of torture. Amanda had mentioned a group at the shelter, maybe I’d check that out.

  Jack waited next to the truck, holding the door for me. He didn’t say a word as he helped me up into the cab.

  As we drove to the doughnut shop, he let his hand rest on the center console. I slid my hand over his and laced our fingers together. Confusion darkened his gaze when he glanced over at me, but he didn’t pull away.

  He had to be thinking I was a total nut job. Blowing hot and cold, hot and cold, he probably wondered if I was toying with him. Toying with my own emotions, more likely.

  When his hand tightened over mine, I looked up. His eyes were focused on the rear-view mirror. My eyes jerked to the side mirror to see a silver sedan right on our bumper. Turning to look over my shoulder, I looked into the car. The driver wore a big straw hat and 80s style sunglasses. The weak chin and red collar-length curls couldn’t be hidden though. I choked in fear when recognition hit. Ricky had found me. Found us. And not only found us, but caught me with another man.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  “Mama, you okay? Mr. Jack, what’s wrong with Mama?” Mateo’s voice squeaked from the backseat.

  Jack squeezed my hand. His deep voice coaxed, “It’ll be okay. Just turn around and breathe.”

  I turned around and tried to do as he said. I really did. Focused on breathing air in, releasing air out. Every inhale pained my body. Every exhale tried to become a sob. I shook with the effort of not crying.

  “Mama?” Mateo tried again, panic making his voice higher.

  “She’ll be fine. You’re both fine.” Jack turned right and pulled the truck to a stop.

  I looked up and realized we were in front of the Garden Falls Police Department. I looked around and saw no sign of the silver sedan.

  “The doughnut shop is right next door. I thought this might be a good spot to park,” Jack said softly.

  I got out of the truck, still looking for Ricky, and pulled Mateo into a tight hug. I couldn’t bear to lose him. Couldn’t bear to go back to Ricky. Ricky had threatened Mateo’s life before, threatened to take him from me if I’d left.

  Hopefully I could pack up and get out of town before Ricky got bold enough to make his move. I’d have to see if maybe Jack would return or sell the furniture for me and send me the money. The rent money would be gone, but it couldn’t be helped.

  Garden Falls had to be in my rear-view by sunset.

  “Joy, was that…?” Jack asked quietly.

  I looked up at him and got a little teary at the worry in his eyes. I nodded.

  Jack walked away for a moment, h
is fists clenched at his sides. This was why I hadn’t wanted to start anything with him. It could only lead to heartache. I knew that as much as I knew every freckle on my sweet baby’s nose, yet my stupid heart had wanted to hope.

  Jack walked back a minute later, a fake smile not quite hiding the concern in his eyes. “You ready for the best doughnuts for fifty miles?”

  “Yes!” Mateo squirmed away from me and jumped up and down beside Jack. “I love doughnuts. Specially ones that got frinkles on top.”

  “You and your frinkles.” Jack laughed and held a hand out for Mateo. He glanced out at the street and his gaze hardened.

  I looked over to see Ricky driving by slowly. He raised one finger off the steering wheel and waggled it at me. His sign for me that I was in for it later. I gulped.

  Jack ushered Mateo into the doughnut shop and managed to keep him from seeing Ricky. My hands were shaking as we stood in front of the case while Mateo decided between the three options they had with sprinkles. I let Jack order a couple doughnuts for me, but with how my stomach roiled, I might not be able to eat them.

  We sat at a table back in the corner. Jack murmured something about being able to see the entire shop. I slid in next to Mateo, my back to the shop.

  “We need to talk later,” Jack said, covering one of my hands with his.

  “I know.”

  “Mr. Jack, you’s right. These are the bestest doughnuts ever. Thank you for bringing me here.” Mateo seemed oblivious to the moment’s tension. Thankfully. That little boy had been through so much because of his father. He’d handled the sudden disappearance, the weeks on the run, with a grace most adults couldn’t manage. I’d really hoped to give him a proper home here, where he could come out of his shell and truly be a child.

  “Glad to hear it, buddy.” Jack nodded toward Mateo and smiled.

  When I looked over, the sight brightened my mood. Chocolate covered Mateo’s chubby little cheeks. He even had a few sprinkles stuck to the tip of his nose. But he was grinning from ear to ear and had very clearly enjoyed his doughnuts.