Jolt!

by Phil Cooke

  “I don’t feel like working today.”

  “I’m a little depressed.”

  “I’m just not in the mood.”

  “I just don’t feel up to it.”

  Let those emotions take charge of your life and you’ll never accomplish anything at all.

  » EMOTIONS DO PLAY AN IMPORTANT ROLE IN OUR LIVES. THE KEY IS NOT LETTING THEM CONTROL US.

  On the other hand, listening to your emotions in order to get at the core of what’s bothering you can help you turn them into very revealing indicators of your condition. For instance, let’s look at a couple of the statements above once again.

  I don’t feel like working today. Think about it for a moment. Why don’t you feel like working? Did you stay up too late last night? Perhaps you need to change your schedule. Are you eating well? Perhaps you need to adjust your diet or food intake. Not motivated? Listen to a motivational program, read a good book, exercise, or spend some time with an encouraging friend.

  I’m a little depressed. Are you getting enough relaxation? Have you taken a vacation lately? Coaches and personal trainers tell me that our moods generally swing up after exercise, so perhaps you’re not getting enough exercise . Get back into an exercise program, and get into shape. Are you intimidated about the big meeting? Perhaps you need to be better prepared and do a little more homework.

  You simply cannot give your life over to your emotions. They will delay you, stop you, or create detours on your journey of change.

  I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

  —ROMANS 7:15 NIV

  One area worth mentioning is just how toxic certain emotions can be, particularly over the long haul. In his fascinating book Deadly Emotions, medical doctor and nutrition expert Don Colbert details how what you feel emotionally becomes how you feel physically. Research is showing stronger and stronger connections between our minds and bodies and how our emotions can create serious physical problems and difficulties. Dr. Colbert states, “If a person keeps stuffing toxic emotions year after year, the day will come when those buried emotions come pouring out” (31).

  Emotions like anger, bitterness, hostility, resentment, self-hatred, anxiety, and more can lead to many health problems, such as hypertension, coronary artery disease, autoimmune disorders, arthritis, panic attacks, heart palpitations, and tension and migraine headaches. Dr. Colbert believes that about 20 percent of the general population have levels of hostility that are high enough to be dangerous to their health—that’s one out of five people!

  We’ve all seen executives who are almost always angry, upset, and stressed-out. I directed a music video a few years ago for a major record label in Los Angeles, and the producer from the studio’s music video division was a man in his forties who never stopped screaming. When I met him, I was stunned. If he wasn’t screaming at me, he was screaming at someone on his cell phone. I discovered it was impossible for him to do two things: talk in a normal voice and construct a sentence without a four-letter word. Every moment of every day, he was angry, upset, or stressed-out.

  When we shot the video on the East Coast, he was determined to be there to make sure I didn’t mess things up. Sure enough, he showed up with an attitude. Most of the day, he sat in his chair behind me on the set, screaming at other people on his cell phone. Forget the fact that no one I met during the entire project respected him or enjoyed working with him. But just as important, I imagine that man doesn’t have long to go before all that intensity and stress cause something physical to break down.

  Keep your emotions in check. Don’t become a robot and fight your feelings, because emotions are a big part of what makes us human. Ignoring our feelings creates just as much a problem in the long run, so we need to acknowledge them and understand their influence. But also understand where they come from, and don’t let them control your life.

  MOTIVATION

  Your motivation? Your motivation is your pay packet on Friday. Now get on with it.

  —NOEL COWARD, PLAYWRIGHT

  A key ingredient of motivation is sharing your journey with others. Many people fail for lack of motivation, and most motivation comes from outside sources. You need to be encouraged, applauded, and valued on a regular basis because motivation is the intangible element that allows you to break through barriers and limitations. When you’ve reached the end of your knowledge about a problem, run out of tools and options, or lost your way, motivation is what can get you through.

  » IN BUSINESS AND IN LIFE, VERY OFTEN SHEER MOTIVATION OVERCOMES LACK OF KNOWLEDGE, RESOURCES, AND SKILL.

  Working in the entertainment industry, I see plenty of young people with an intense motivation to make a movie. In some extreme cases, they’ve never been to Hollywood, have no filmmaking skills, no experience, and no contacts with anyone in that world. In a few cases, all they have is motivation, but sometimes that is enough.

  Stay motivated. Don’t let a lack of inspiration deprive you of your dream. Surround yourself with people who will speak possibility into your life.

  KNOWLEDGE

  Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.

  —DON WOOD, WRITER

  Far too often, people don’t think realistically, get the information they need, or find the right expertise. Edison failed many times, but his eventual success didn’t come from dumb luck—it came from preparation. Too many people today undervalue knowledge.

  Because computers allow us to try and fail so many times, we refuse to take the time to read the manual. Because we feel so rushed, we refuse to stop and find out what we really need to know. Because young people are pressured into careers, they often don’t see the value in spending time getting a good education.

  When I was a kid, I idolized the Green Bay Packers. For me, they were the ultimate football team. Coached by the legendary Vince Lombardi and quarterbacked by Bart Starr, in my eyes there wasn’t anything those players couldn’t do. Lombardi took them to the highest levels of excellence, but no matter how many championships they won or trophies they took home, Lombardi never stopped practicing the fundamentals—the basics that can make or break a champion.

  Learn the fundamentals of the game and stick to them. Band-Aid remedies never last.

  —JACK NICKLAUS, PROFESIONAL GOLF CHAMPION

  Every day people are promoted out of their level of competence. But they don’t keep up with the growing wealth of knowledge about leadership and business, and sooner or later, they are exposed. Failure happens when your knowledge doesn’t keep up with your position.

  Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.

  —THOMAS J. WATSON, FOUNDER OF IBM

  Jolt your attitude toward failure. Failure is simply a potential result. Every attempt can yield different results, and some work better than others.

  You are not a failure—you are part of the process, and every outcome is another step on the road to eventual success. Without failure, change is never possible and success can never be achieved.

  Embrace it. Learn from it. Turn your failures into knowledge and your knowledge into success.

  » JOLT #23

  GET OVER YOURSELF!

  It Is Not About You

  The smaller the mind the greater the conceit.

  —AESOP (620 BC–560 BC)

  Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.

  —PROVERBS 16:18 NKJV

  In the 2004 Summer Olympics in Greece, the United States Olympic basketball team sported some of the great players of the game, and coach Larry Brown was one of the most experienced coaches in the country. The American players were outstanding athletes and could play at a level few outside the United States have ever achieved. But in spite of their remarkable individual skills and talent, by the time the final buzzer went off, the U.S. Olympic basketball team could do no better than the bronze medal.

  Teams from Argentina and Italy with
less individual talent beat us decisively. Everybody likes a star, but in a team sport, success comes more from teamwork than from individual talent. The United States was unable to win the gold because the players—as talented as they were— couldn’t work together as a team. Each player came from a different background, a different style of play, with different priorities, and as a unit they were unable to gel when they needed it most.

  From this point on, stop thinking about life as an individual event, and start looking at your life and career as a team sport. Your company is filled with other team members. Your family is a team. You form a team with your clients or customers. To accomplish anything of significance in today’s economy, we have to work as a team.

  Historians have revealed that many of the greatest artists and leaders of the past actually accomplished their greatest work as a team. When I first visited the Sistine Chapel in Rome and looked in awe and wonder at Michelangelo’s magnificent ceiling, I assumed he had done it all by himself. I pictured him alone on the scaffolding—as in the movies—slaving away, with occasional trips down the ladder to replenish his paints.

  But since that time, I’ve learned how the great artist created a team of brilliant assistants—artists and artisans in their own right—who helped him in a vast number of ways. They found the best raw materials needed to make the finest paints and knew how to mix them for the best results. He had assistants to help him outline the major scenes, others to help fill in, and still others who used their skills with various details of the project. Art historians tell us that most of the major painters of the period set up schools and worked with various students and assistants to accomplish their work. In fact, I walked through a museum recently in Washington, D.C., and viewed a painting that was credited to the school rather than the artist. A great artist painted it, but there was no way to be sure how much he painted and how much his students completed.

  It reminds me of how animated cartoons and feature films are created today. After you watch the next major animated feature at your local theater, stay in your seat and watch the credits for the staggering number of gifted artists and professionals who worked on the project. Some do the rough drawings, others outline the scenes, others fill in the color, still others handle the details—not to mention the sound effects, voices, and music. None of this information detracts from the genius of the great artists throughout history. But it does reinforce the critical importance of teams.

  » TECHNOLOGY, POLITICS, BUSINESS, GLOBALIZATION, MEDIA, AND CULTURE HAVE GROWN SO COMPLEX AND MULTILAYERED, IT’S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR A SINGLE PERSON TO REACH THE HIGHEST LEVELS OF ACHIEVEMENT.

  Does that take anything away from the importance of the individual? Absolutely not. Individuals are the fuel that makes progress possible. Individuals are the core of the enterprise. But joined together through relationships, anything is possible.

  The power of relationships can open doors you could never open on your own. It can provide favor when money or resources aren’t enough, and it can help you find the answers you desperately need.

  The key to unlocking openness at work is to teach people to give up having to be in agreement. We think agreement is so important. Who cares? You have to bring paradoxes, conflicts, and dilemmas out in the open, so collectively we can be more intelligent than we can be individually.

  —PETER SENGE, M.I.T. PROFESSOR

  Although most of this book is focused on increasing your individual sense of accomplishment, potential for success, and ability to change, we must also keep ourselves in perspective. We are relatively small cogs in a much bigger picture, and it will take cooperation, networking, and people skills to reach the next level in our lives.

  » I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST SELF-ESTEEM, BUT I HAVE TO ADMIT, WE’VE COME THROUGH A PERIOD WHERE SELF-ESTEEM TEACHING BECAME EXCESSIVE.

  People became obsessed with positive self-esteem, and it permeated business, education, and communities. It all began back in 1969, when psychologist Nathaniel Branden published a highly acclaimed paper called “The Psychology of Self-Esteem.” He argued that “feelings of self-esteem were the key to success in life,” and his idea soon became the hot new thing in education. At the apex of the craze, the California legislature even established a “Self-Esteem Task Force” for the state’s schools.

  But the problem with teaching self-esteem? It doesn’t work.

  Writing in the Wall Street Journal about the fifteen thousand studies the movement generated, Kay Hymowitz concluded:

  And what do they show? That high self-esteem doesn’t improve grades, reduce anti-social behavior, deter alcohol drinking or do much of anything good for kids. In fact, telling kids how smart they are can be counterproductive. Many children who are convinced that they are little geniuses tend not to put much effort into their work. Others are troubled by the latent anxiety of adults who feel it necessary to praise them constantly.

  The book NurtureShock, by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, may put the final nail in the coffin of the self-esteem movement. For instance, as Hymowitz pointed out, the book reveals that

  drop-out programs [based on self-esteem] don’t work. Neither do anti-drug programs. The most popular of them, D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education), developed in 1983 by the Los Angeles Police Department, has become a more familiar sight in American schools than algebra class. By 2000, 80% of American school districts were using D.A.R.E. materials in some form. Now, after extensive study, comes the news: The program has no long-term, and only mild short-term, effects. Oh, and those tests that school districts use to determine giftedness in young children? They’re just about useless.

  When people focus excessively on themselves, it damages the potential of the greater project. My wife and I were leaders of our local high school choir parent boosters organization. The music program was national caliber, and the four choirs from the school traveled extensively, competing and performing nationwide. As a result, they needed an unusually high-level fund-raising program, and the parent boosters were the driving force behind it. Kathleen and I weren’t in leadership roles very long before we realized the biggest challenge we faced was from a small handful of parents who thought little about the overall program and only about themselves.

  Every project we discussed, they viewed not through the lens of the choir but through the lens of their particular family. All they cared about was their son or daughter, and they had little concern for the overall program. As a result, I had to spend the vast majority of my time fixing the problems they caused, bandaging the hurts they inflicted on other families, and repairing the damage to the program. The great majority of the parents thought in terms of the choir and were a joy to work with, but when only a few parents became self-centered, it created problems that grew difficult to control.

  CONNECTING WORKS

  One of the least understood and most powerful concepts in life is the power of connecting and networking. When you discover the awesome influence of “we,” you’ll see doors open, walls falling, and obstacles disappearing. You can never accomplish as much individually as you can with connections.

  Realize that there are two types of networking.

  There is networking to develop your personal relationships, and there is networking to connect other people. Both interrelate, and both will benefit you in different ways. Truthfully, I’ve personally received more benefit from helping other people than I have from networking for myself directly.

  It’s about relationship building.

  Real networking is about building genuine friendships, not just building blocks to your career. Care about the people. You’ve heard the phrase, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care,” and it’s exactly right. Years ago, the vice president for a major corporation told me, “If you’re genuinely interested in a client’s family, he’ll be a client for life.” The key word is genuine. It’s all about authenticity. People aren’t stupid, and they can detect when you don’t really care.

/>   Don’t focus on you.

  Be genuinely interested in the project, the problem, or the person. Do it for the right reasons. The old model is most evident in the TV series The Sopranos. Sure they get their friends jobs in construction, but once they do, they just sit around the construction site in lounge chairs, drinking beer. Nothing really positive happens. They make the money, but they don’t learn, grow, increase their skill level, or add value to the company. In the new networking paradigm, the person has to be right, you have to be right, and the project has to be right.

  Start a network archive.

  Consciously think about everyone you know, their particular skills, and how they connect. When I was a young director, I made a list of people I enjoyed working with, and I thought that one day, whenever I might get a big project, I’m bringing them with me. It was a good list, and ever since then I’ve continued the habit. Only today I use a computer-based contact system for the same thing. Now when I hear about an opportunity, I can immediately find a good candidate in my contact list.

  Trade information with people.

  Trade business cards at conferences and meetings, keep them organized, and put them in your contact manager. Don’t be obnoxious, but graciously offer people your cards and ask for theirs. It’s a fantastic way to build relationships and keep track of contact information.

  When you connect people, make a good match.

  Consider their career standing, experience, and personal habits and skills. All of these things become critical for making solid connections work. All it takes is one bad match and people will begin avoiding you. Make sure whenever you connect two people for a project, they are as compatible as possible.

  The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

  —CARL JUNG, PSYCHIATRIST