by Opal Carew
It was hard to breathe with all the conflicting emotions tumbling through her.
“Thank you,” she said quietly, the words carried on a breath of air.
His hard gaze locked on her and she felt her body start to tremble.
“Will you let me in so we can talk about it?” he asked evenly.
Panic surged through her as images flashed through her mind. Of him in handcuffs. Of words from the newspaper article, as if jumping off the page. Gang member. Violent tendencies. Arrested several times. Gruesome scene. His father’s bloody, battered body.
She realized her head was shaking back and forth.
His mouth formed a thin line.
“Fuck it!” He turned and started to walk away.
She stood frozen at the door, the drive in her trembling hand, not sure what to do.
The fact that he’d killed someone, especially someone close to him, and that he had a violent nature, confused and frightened her. She’d suffered at the hands of a violent man and his friends. Those men had had a veneer of respectability, but under the surface, they were ruthless and cruel.
On the other hand, with Tal she felt safe and protected. She couldn’t believe he was the brutal man depicted in that article.
Sonny was terrified to let him in. Terrified he might hurt her. But as the storm of conflicting emotions swirled around her, she realized that she was even more terrified of losing him.
But she needed time.
She squeezed her hand around the cold flash drive he’d given her. Small and black. Containing the words he’d spoken to her yesterday. The words that had opened a door for her that had been closed tight for so long.
And she realized, time is exactly what he’d given her all along. He hadn’t pushed her, even when he’d clearly been suffering with need because his body was hard for her. He’d been patient and kind. Loving and tender.
No matter what some stranger in an article said about him… no matter what some picture alluded to…none of it changed the man he was. What she heard in his voice. What she felt when she was with him. And the compassionate way he treated her.
She pushed the door closed and slid the chain off then opened it and burst into the hall.
“Tal, wait!”
But his apartment door was already open and he was going inside.
“Please!”
He glanced at her, his eyes cold and hard.
Then a flash of fur grabbed her attention and she realized that Mia had just streaked out the door and was racing down the hall at full speed.
“Oh, God! Mia.”
If she got into the elevator, or the stairwell, she’d be frightened. She might even get outside. Sonny’s heart crumpled at the thought of losing her.
Mia was already halfway down the hallway.
Tal stepped back into the hallway but before either of them could start running after the furry creature, the sound of an apartment door opening far down the hall, then voices, had Mia stopping dead in her tracks.
As the voices came closer, Mia, clearly frightened, turned tail and raced back up the hall, but instead of running to Sonny’s apartment, she headed straight to Tal and leaped onto his denim-clad leg and climbed it like a tree trunk. He grabbed her, and tucked her against his chest, snuggled in the crook of his muscular arm, and she cowered there, peering out from the protection of his body.
Tal turned to Sonny, his expression still drawn tight in anger. As he walked toward her with Mia safely in his arms, she sucked in a breath.
But as he got closer, she realized that what she’d thought was anger, was actually pain. His eyes glinted as he tried to hide it, but she could see it there.
Because she’d rejected him.
She wasn’t used to having power over a man, in any way. The thought confused her. And in this case, saddened her.
She didn’t want to hurt Tal. Ever.
When he reached her door, he tried to tug Mia from his body so he could hand her to Sonny, but Mia’s claws were embedded in his shirt so tightly, he couldn’t pull her away. He pulled free one tiny paw, but as he tried to free the next, she squirmed and the first paw connected with his shirt again.
Although Sonny could feel tears welling in her eyes from her tumultuous emotions, the sight of him trying to pull the determined cat from his shirt made her break out in nervous giggles.
His gaze shot to hers and she looked properly contrite.
“If you bring her inside, she’ll probably let go,” she offered.
His lips compressed in a straight line as he followed her back to her door, then inside. She closed the door behind him, then turned to take the cat from him, but Mia leaped from his arms and scurried down the hall.
He turned and reached for the doorknob, but she stepped in front of him, blocking his path.
She rested her hand on his arm.
“Tal, please stay.”
Tal drew in a deep breath, allowing the closeness of her, the feel of her delicate fingers on his arm, to calm him.
When she’d shut him out, not even giving him a chance to explain, his whole world had crumbled around him. Having Sonny accept him—and more, look to him for help—had meant more to him than he could ever conceive.
This past that hung over him… this awful shadow… threatened everything that mattered to him. Love. Family. Having one special person to share his life with, who cared about him as much as he cared about her.
He nodded and let her guide him to the couch where he sat down. She settled in beside him.
She took his hand, entwining her fingers with his.
“Tal, the things they said in that article…” She shook her head. “I don’t believe them.”
It would be so easy to just accept that. She was giving him a free pass to just put it all behind him and move forward.
But that would be a lie. And that was no foundation for any kind of relationship.
And it certainly wouldn’t be fair to her after she’d opened up to him so completely.
He squeezed her hand gently.
“But I’m afraid it’s the truth.”
Sonny’s heart pounded in her chest. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what he had to say.
“My mother remarried when I was fourteen,” he explained. “The guy convinced her he was a knight in shining armor, ready to take care of her and her two sons. She’d been alone and struggling since we lost my dad. She couldn’t see what he really was. He had a nice house, a good job. She wanted to feel safe. But once they were married, he treated her like a slave. He bullied her and kept her isolated. If she went to visit a neighbor, he’d beat the crap out of her. If she didn’t have dinner on the table when he walked in the door, he’d beat the crap out of her.”
Sonny felt ill, remembering the beatings she’d suffered at the hands of… him.
“Fuck, Sonny, you’re trembling. This must be bringing up bad memories for you.”
She squeezed his hand. “It’s okay. I want to hear it all.”
He nodded. “I tried to step in… to protect her… but he was bigger than me and just sent me flying cross the room with one whack. But sometimes it distracted him enough that he’d leave mom alone.”
Sonny’s stomach clenched at the thought of younger Tal being beaten by his stepfather.
“By the time I was fifteen, I’d started hanging out with a tough crowd, learning to fight, getting into trouble. Then one day, I came home to find that he’d pushed her and she’d hit her head on the granite counter. She went into a coma. He told the police it was an accident and, of course, they believed him.”
He sighed, staring off into space.
“She died a week later. If it had been just me, I would have taken off at that point, but I couldn’t leave my younger brother alone with this guy. So I learned to act tougher. To look tougher. I was pretty small at fifteen, but over the next year I grew to over six feet tall. I made it clear that if he laid a finger on Joey, I’d break every bone in his body.”
&nb
sp; Sonny rested her hand on his arm, disturbed not only by his words and the harrowing past he’d had to endure, but also by the haunting sadness in his eyes.
“Finally, he couldn’t handle it any longer. Being subdued by his teenaged stepson. One night, he got drunk and attacked me with a butcher knife. He caught me off guard, coming at me from behind, and got in a few slashes before I knocked him to the ground and wrestled the knife from him. Once I let him up, he lunged at me. When I stepped out of the way, he went flying through the front window and sliced his neck open on the glass. When the police showed up, they assumed I initiated the fight and killed him. Especially with my history.”
Sonny’s heart ached for him. “I’m so sorry, Tal.”
He shook his head, then focused on her. “The charges didn’t stick. But that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to kill that bastard every single day. And one day I probably would have.”
Sonny shook her head. “I don’t believe it. That’s not the kind of man you are.”
“Baby, have you taken a look at me lately? Everything about me is designed to intimidate.”
“Because you wanted to protect the ones you loved, and that was the only way you had.” She smiled. “And I love how you look. Strong and confident.”
She ran her hand along his muscled forearm. “I feel safe with you.”
Tal’s heart swelled at Sonny’s words. At her total acceptance.
He slid his arm around her and held her close. She snuggled against him.
“Baby, I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me, for any reason.”
She stroked his cheek, and tipped up her face, her brown eyes glowing. He couldn’t resist. He dipped his head down and brushed his lips against hers. She slid her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss.
He swept his tongue into her mouth and stroked, enjoying the delight of her softness.
Then he felt something on his shoulder and a raspy sensation against his ear. He drew back and turned his head to see two green feline eyes staring at him. Mia, half on the couch back and half on his shoulder. She began licking his ear again.
Sonny began to laugh. “Mia, stop that.”
He smiled. “Don’t worry about it. She just wants a little love.”
He wrapped his hands around the cat and held her to his chest. She snuggled against him, then stretched out on his arm and purred.
“You’re there for a while now,” Sonny said. “Once she gets comfy, she settles in for a good long nap.” She smiled. “I could put on a movie if you like.”
“Didn’t you say you have a lot of work to do today?”
She bit her lip. “I lied. I finished the project this morning. I just wasn’t ready to talk to you yet. I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay. I get it.” He smiled, stroking the small furry critter in his arms. “So that movie sounds great. And maybe some water?”
Sonny stood up and glanced through her Blu-ray library, then pulled out one she thought Tal would like and put it in the device. Then she went into the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water. By the time she got back, Tal was asleep, Mia still curled up against him.
Sonny smiled and grabbed the blanket from the arm of the couch and laid it over him, draping it below where Mia lay sleeping. Not that it was cold, but she always found the light blanket to be comforting, and she wanted to give Tal that comfort, too. Especially after he’d opened up to her about his tragic past.
She sat down in the armchair across from the couch with her laptop, and watched him. Everything about him was big and masculine. His hulking body. His dense, bristly, almost black whiskers and thick hair shaved close to his scalp on the sides, longer on top. His huge feet propped up on the ottoman.
All that contrasted against the sight of his muscular arm, covered in tattoos, curled around Mia. Seeing the small ball of fur nestled against him… remembering the gentleness with which he’d stroked the little cat… made her heart topple.
He was so good at giving comfort, and love.
Her chest ached at everything he’d been through. He deserved better. He deserved to be loved. To be cherished and cared for.
She wished she could take him in her arms right now and hold him close. Prove to him that he was a very special, wonderful man.
Tal opened his eyes and blinked at the bright afternoon sunshine. He glanced toward the purring coming from his lap. There was a soft, fleecy blanket over him, and Mia, Sonny’s audacious little cat, had moved from his chest to being curled up on his stomach.
“I told you she’d keep you there for a long nap.”
He laughed and stretched his arms, then stroked Mia’s soft fur.
Then he glanced at Sonny, sitting on the armchair across from him. The same armchair he’d sat on the other night when he’d talked her through an orgasm. And he was where she’d been, the same blanket around him, his feet on the same ottoman.
At the memory of her face as she’d come, heat stirred in his groin and spread through his body.
She had her laptop open and she wore ear buds. Her face and neck were flushed and his gaze jerked to the side of the computer to see the black flash drive he’d given her sticking out the side.
His eyebrow darted up.
“Are you listening to the recording I gave you?”
Her cheeks turned a deeper rose color.
“Yeah… Seeing you where I was the other night… and me being where you were… reminded me. So I listened.”
A wide smile crept across his face.
“So you like it?”
She nodded, the rapid movement of her head and the eagerness in her eyes skyrocketing his ego.
The thought of her listening to the sexy audio while she watched him sleep… and wondering how turned on she was… had his cock swelling.
Mia’s eyes popped open and she mewed, then stood up and leaped away. He couldn’t blame her. His rising erection had changed the landscape of her cat bed.
“So would you like to come snuggle up beside me and listen to it together?” he suggested.
He loved the idea of touching her while she got turned on by his voice, even it if was just to have his arm around her. To be close enough to hear her heartbeat start to race. To hear her soft breathing as she got excited.
“I’d like to. But there’s something else I’ve been thinking about.”
“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”
“In the recordings,” she said, “you’re watching the woman and… that’s really exciting…”
He put his feet on the floor and sat up straighter, then tossed the blanket beside him.
“Okay. Would you rather I do something different? Maybe pretend I’m blindfolded? Or that we’re on the phone?”
He was sure she was asking him for more distance. So she could hear his voice, but not feel that he was watching her, even on a recording. If that’s what she wanted, he’d give it to her.
“No, that’s not it. I just…”
She pulled the ear buds from her ears and bit her lip.
“What is it, Sonny? You can tell me.”
“I’d like to… um… to watch you…”
He waited, but she just fidgeted, her cheeks blooming an even darker red.
Did she mean watching him as he talked? Or did she mean…his cock twitched… she wanted to watch him jack off?
He raised an eyebrow. “You want to watch me come?”
She bit her lip.
“Well… uh… I’d like to know that you’re… I mean… I don’t know if you did last time… And I’m not asking you to tell me, I just…
He fought back a grin. She was so adorable.
“I want to know what it’s like,” she continued, “to be in the same room with a man when… to feel safe with a man when…”
Sonny had seen the heat flare in his eyes when she’d told him she wanted to watch him, then amusement glitter as she’d backpedaled.
Now, his expression grew compassionate.
She wrapped up her ear buds and put them in the little case she had for them so Mia wouldn’t chew through the cord.
“So when would you like to do it?” he asked.
God, she was so turned on from listening to the recording he’d made for her … her nipples hard and tight… her vagina clenching in need… that she wanted to do it right now.
“When would you like to do it?” she asked.
“Baby, just the thought has me ready to go.”
“Okay.” She bit her lip. “Then… now?”
He chuckled. “Okay. Hold on. Come over here for a second.”
He patted the couch beside him.
She closed her laptop and set it on the side table, then stood up and walked toward him, wondering what he was going to do. She sat beside him.
He slid his muscled arm around her waist and drew her near. He kissed the top of her head and she shivered in delight. He was so much bigger than her. She felt so tiny in comparison. Just like Mia had looked curled in the crook of his arm.
“I think you need a little time for this idea to sink in,” he said. “Maybe we’ll have dinner first, relax, and then we’ll talk about exactly what you want.”
“But I told you already.”
“Yes, and that was great. I think you should get used to expressing what you want. And how you want it. You’ve shown an extraordinary level of trust in me, and that makes me feel really good. I want you to trust me. I also want you to be able to express yourself fully to me.”
She gazed up at him with wide eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’m not asking for crazy intimate details. Just enough so I know what to do without making you nervous.” He smiled and kissed her forehead. “Not that we won’t push some limits, since that’s what you need right now. Okay?”
“Okay.”
He took her hand and stood up, drawing her with him. “So why don’t we go to my place and I’ll make some dinner. Then we can decide if we want to stay there or come back here.”
The thought of sitting in his apartment while they did this excited her. Being in his environment, where he slept, where he showered, where he gave himself pleasure… maybe while thinking about her.