Calling Me Away

by Louise Bay

  “You’re going to have to give me a bit of time on that.” She folded her arms, creating a barrier between us. “I know you’re not a bad person, and you can’t help who you love. I just need to regroup.”

  I nodded, kissed her on the head and left.

  I knew where I needed to be.

  Luke

  Nerves jangled with determination in my stomach, threatening to spill the coffees that I was carrying. It was early on a Sunday morning. The combination of the two meant I was very likely about to have my bollocks chopped off and handed back to me by a sleepy Ashleigh, but at least I’d have had coffee. I couldn’t and wouldn’t spend another second without her. I’d wasted enough years failing to see what was right in front of me. I wasn’t waiting any longer.

  The night before with Fiona had brought things into focus. Even nice, comfortable, pretty Fiona wasn’t enough. She simply wasn’t Ashleigh.

  Ashleigh was the one, and I was done waiting. I’d been prepared to be patient, for her to be convinced of my feelings for her, but as time went on, I couldn’t help but think maybe she didn’t trust her own feelings. Maybe I had to hold her hand so we could take a leap of faith together.

  I took a deep breath and pressed the buzzer to Ashleigh’s flat.

  I waited. No answer. She was probably still in bed.

  I pressed again. Still no answer. What if she was in bed with someone else? It hadn’t occurred to me, but she might have gotten back together with Richard, or met someone else she liked better. Someone she wanted to get married to and have kids with. Panic started to crawl over me, leaving goose bumps in its wake. I pressed the buzzer again. I’d just have to convince her that they weren’t right for her. That I was.

  I pressed again, and this time I didn’t let go.

  “What the fuck?” came a voice through the intercom. I grinned. At least she was answering.

  “Let me up, Ashleigh.”

  “Luke? Jesus. This better be good.”

  I heard the clink of the door and pushed the entrance open.

  I found myself jogging to the stairwell. A cup in each hand, I tried to keep my arms steady as I took the stairs two at a time to the third floor.

  As soon as I reached her corridor, I strained my neck to see her head pop out to welcome me, desperate for my first glimpse of her, but it wasn’t until I stood on her doormat that locks started to clink behind the door.

  “Coffee?” I asked, and thrust one of the cups forward.

  She narrowed her eyes, but took the drink, heading back up the corridor. Was she mad I was here? Had I interrupted something, someone?

  “You’re up,” I said.

  “Why would you be surprised about that? Oh, yes, because it’s seven on a Sunday morning. What are you doing here?”

  “You’re on your own?” I asked. “I mean, if there’s someone here, that’s fine. I’m gonna punch his lights out, but it’s okay.” I suppressed the urge to run from room to room, checking for hiding suitors.

  “Who would be here? Of course I’m alone. I’m studying.”

  Good. That was the first step. At least I didn’t have to throw a guy out before I explained why I was here, and why I was never leaving. “You got into business school? Is that why you’re studying?” I asked, looking at the books and papers laid out on the coffee table.

  “I’m not sure, but if I did I want to get a head start.” Her forehead furrowed. She looked adorable.

  “You are such a geek.” A loveable, perfect geek.

  She shrugged. I loved how she didn’t give a shit about that badge. She was who she was, and she was okay with all of it. My heart grew bigger every moment I was near her.

  “So?” she asked, taking a sip of coffee and bouncing slightly as she hit the cushions on the sofa. I took a seat beside her.

  “Oh, what am I doing here?”

  “Uh, yes.”

  “I’m here to stay. I’m here to hang out. To spend time with you, to convince you that I’m the only man you’ll ever need or want. That kind of thing. No big deal.” If I was just very matter-of-fact about the whole thing, but completely determined, perhaps she’d understand the inevitability of our future together. Just like I did.

  She didn’t move, didn’t blink, didn’t breathe. If I hadn’t caught the flit of her gaze from my eyes to my mouth, I would have reached out to check her pulse.

  “Well, I have to study,” she said finally.

  “That’s okay. I can just sit here. I’m not going anywhere.” If she tried to kick me out, tell me that she was over what was between us, I’d do whatever it took to convince her she was wrong.

  “You’re going to sit here, on your own, while I study?”

  “If that’s what it takes. I’m here to show you I’m serious. I’m not getting fobbed off anymore, Ashleigh. I’m not having you tell me that I’m not ready, that I need to choose you and not just end up with you.

  “Here. I. Am. I pick you. I’ve had my whole life to decide, to know you, and I’m never going to be more certain about anything in my life as I am about you. I want you. And if I need to sit here all day, all week, all year, that’s what I’ll do.” It felt good to say it. She needed to hear it.

  She pursed her lips. “So, this is like some kind of sit-in? A demonstration of sorts.” She was trying to suppress it, but I could see her smile in her eyes.

  “If you like. Except I’m going to shower regularly, and if you leave, I’m coming with you.”

  “Like a stalker?”

  She started to giggle but turned it into a cough. I couldn’t stop my grin. I brushed my thumb over her cheek. Her eyes sparkled when she smiled. She couldn’t hide it.

  “Call it what you want. I know that I want you. And if you’re not ready, that’s fine. I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to be ready. But I am, and you can’t possibly understand that or see that for yourself unless I’m here, with you. So here is where I’m going to be. I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Luke, this isn’t about me . . .” She placed her coffee on the table beside her and waved her hands, as if they were trying to help her find the words. I caught them midair and interlaced her fingers with mine, desperate for a physical connection to her.

  “Sure about that?” Ashleigh was scared and although she had made good points about my choosing her, that wasn’t the whole problem, not now. “Perhaps part of you doesn’t trust yourself. And that’s okay because there’s a lot at stake and neither of us have got it right when it comes to relationships so far. But this is different. We’re different, and if you don’t trust yourself then you’ve known me long enough to trust me.”

  She tried to pull her fingers away, but I wouldn’t let her. I wasn’t letting her go. “This was about you making a choice, Luke, not me.”

  “And I’m telling you that you’re the choice I’m making. The most important choice I’ll ever make.” I slid toward her, our thighs touching, her warmth seeping through to me.

  “But—” I pulled her onto my lap, finally having her in my arms, able to breathe in the scent of her, of forever, of home.

  “You don’t think I have other options. Maybe you were right. Maybe it seemed all too easy that when Emma and I split, I finally woke up. Perhaps it was. But that doesn’t mean it wasn’t the right choice.” Ashleigh would always be the right choice. “And now? You think I don’t have the opportunity to fuck other women? I’ve always known there are other options.”

  She winced.

  “You’re right; you’ve been right in front of me all these years, and for whatever reason we haven’t happened until now, but I’m not thinking, Ashleigh’s around and available, that would be easy. I’m thinking, what a fucking waste, I’m an idiot. We could have been happy all this time, together.” I scanned her face, trying to read her reaction. Did she understand? “There will never be anyone else for me but you.”

  Ashleigh

  My head was spinning and my heart was pumping. I’d woken from a dream of Luke to find hi
m at my door less than an hour later. Every sign said it was time. Time to trust him. Time to take a chance. And I’d made that decision before he’d arrived on my doorstep.

  Now, sitting so close to him, everything he was saying seemed utterly compelling. He was considered and passionate in equal measures. Part of me wanted simply to fall into his arms, but I was scared. Not because I didn’t believe that he meant what he said, but because I did believe him. This was all I could have wished for from him. Now I was as capable of fucking this up as he was. The thought that I had equal responsibility for this relationship was terrifying. I’d dreamt about this for years. What happened if I messed it up? I had no excuses to turn him away, no more reasons to say no. He was ready. Things felt level between us, which was what I’d wanted.

  It was scary as hell.

  Luke tucked some hair behind my ear. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I . . .” His hand lowered from my face and I caught it in mine, and his eyes filled with questions. “I’m glad you’re here.” It was time.

  Staring at our linked hands, I took in the sounds of our breath synchronizing. Was the impossible actually happening?

  “You are?” Luke asked as his fingertips tilted my jaw, forcing my eyes to his. I kept my gaze lowered. “Look at me, Ashleigh.”

  Slowly, I did as he asked.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. He moved toward me, running his hands down my neck. “I’m going to kiss you now. Are you ready?”

  I was, finally, and I believed he was too.

  “Yes, I’m ready.” My breath hitched. This wasn’t to be a drunken kiss at an awards ceremony, or two friends forgetting boundaries for a moment. This was going to mean something.

  His lips smoothed across mine, dropping a tiny kiss at the corner of my mouth. I closed my eyes, trying to take it in, but Luke was moving me off him. I blinked and he was standing.

  “Here,” he said, holding out his hand. “I’m going to show you how much I missed you.”

  My cheeks heated. As soon as I was next to him, his fingers slid around my waist and he buried his head in my neck. “You smell so good. You always do.”

  I smiled at his comment. The perfume I wore reminded me of Luke because it smelled of magnolias. I liked that he seemed to drink it in when he was near me. It was as if it bound us together.

  He pulled me closer. He was hard against my stomach, and I was relieved not just to hear his words, but to see the evidence of his desire for me. His arms clamped around me, and he began to walk me backward toward my bedroom, bending and kissing my neck at regular intervals on our journey.

  We stood beside the bed as he lifted the hem of my T-shirt, skimming my skin with his fingers. Goose bumps covered me as I brought up my arms and he pulled off my top, discarding it behind me. I rested my hands on his chest, feeling the hard shape of him underneath the fabric of his clothes. I looked up to find him smiling. I followed his lead, peeling off his shirt. He gently laid me down, his body over mine.

  “Luke?”

  As if sensing what I needed from him, he moved to my side, skimming his hand up and down my stomach. “We don’t have to. Not yet if you’re not ready. I just want to be close to you.”

  I smiled at him and pushed my hand through his hair. It was floppy, like it had been when he was young. “I’m ready, for you and me, for all of it, I just . . .”

  “Ask me anything, I’ll always tell you the truth,” he said, knowing me too well.

  “All these women you’ve had the opportunity to fuck . . .” Was it wrong to feel jealous, even though he’d only been doing as I asked?

  “I’ve been close, but I’ve not slept with anyone since you.” He dropped a kiss on my chest and then pulled back, giving me time to think.

  “Close?”

  His eyes closed and he took in a deep breath. “I had a few dates. I mean, you said—”

  “I know, and it’s fine. You don’t have to tell me.” I wanted to know.

  “I know, but I want you to know everything you need.”

  I found his hand and linked my fingers through his, trying to tell him I was okay with whatever he was going to say.

  “Fiona and I went out a few times.”

  Fiona from work. Fiona the triathlete. I held my breath, waiting for him to fill in the details. “You like her?”

  “She’s a great girl, but she’s not you. I don’t feel this,” he said, squeezing my hand, “with her.”

  “And she was the one you almost—”

  “I realized I couldn’t, didn’t want to. She helped me decide to see you today. To stay until I’d won you over.”

  I reached for his jaw, tracing the angles of his face with my fingers.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  It took me a second to realize what he was getting at. “Umm . . .” I was still distracted by his beautiful face.

  “Wow,” he said and fell onto his back.

  I leaned across and dropped a kiss on his chest through my smile. “There’s nothing to wow about. Richard and I spent some time together as friends. I think he wanted more, but I was clear that I didn’t.”

  Luke sighed as if he were considering whether he could accept what I was saying as the truth.

  “There will never be anyone else for me but you.” I repeated his words back to him.

  He grabbed my face and crashed his lips against mine. Heat crawled up my skin. He was my best friend but I wanted him. My brain, my heart and my body were all competing for his attention.

  My body was winning.

  He groaned into my mouth and pushed me back, bringing himself on top of me. Showing me what he was feeling, he ground his hips against mine, giving me a promise of what was to come.

  “I need to taste you,” he said. I lifted my head to capture his lips again. “No, not there. I want my tongue here,” he said, circling his hips against me again.

  He knelt between my legs and looked over my body.

  “Luke,” I whispered. What was he doing?

  “You’re so beautiful. I’ve been waiting so long for you. I need to savor it, but I can’t wait.” He reached for the button on my jeans and quickly stripped my legs bare, leaving me in just my underwear. “So beautiful. So, so beautiful.” He shook his head as he kicked his trousers and boxers off and crawled over me. Reaching underneath me, he unclasped my bra and pulled it off, then cupped my breasts with both hands. Using the perfect combination of rough and smooth, he alternated palming and pushing each breast, brushing my nipples with his thumbs.

  The slickness between my thighs intensified and I brought my knees up, skirting his waist. He fit me so perfectly in every way.

  He bent into my neck, the sound of him sucking against my skin sending me wild and making me wriggle underneath him.

  I pushed my hands into his hair.

  Luke

  The feel of her skin under my fingers was close to overwhelming. She felt so good—smelled so good—and now I wanted to see how she tasted. Every inch of her was tempting, trying to divert my attention, but I moved down her body studiously. I wanted to see, smell and taste that she wanted me.

  I dropped soft kisses along the top of her underwear, enjoying her gasps as every now and then my tongue dipped below the elastic. When I got to her hipbone, I dragged her panties down, closing my eyes until they were completely free of her legs, so I couldn’t see until I had an entirely unobstructed view.

  And there she was. Glistening at her edges.

  Waiting, wanting.

  It was such a sight, my cock twitched in celebration so hard it was close to painful. It would be some time before I came. I needed to show her what I could do, and why she could never give me up again.

  “Spread your legs for me.” The voice echoing in my head was deeper than normal, thick with desire and anticipation. Her eyes darted from my mouth to my dick.

  “Spread. Your. Legs.”

  Tentatively she parted her knees, and I slid my palms down her
thighs, pressing her wider. I had to consciously slow my breathing so I didn’t come right there. She was slick, soaked. I groaned and kissed the top of her slit. My tongue pressed against the nub of nerves. I had to hold her down as her hips pushed against my mouth.

  She cried out, my name amongst words that didn’t seem to fit together. The power of being able to make her lose her mind was what I needed. I had to know I could do these things to her.

  My tongue trailed lower, between her folds. She was soft and hot and oh-so-wet. Jesus, I couldn’t wait to feel her clenched around my cock. It wouldn’t be long. Her hands pushed violently through my hair and her feet rested on my hips as if she were climbing my body. I started a rhythm, sliding up and down her slit, rounding her clit each time I reached the top. Her breath got shorter and shorter, her sounds louder and louder until her body went rigid and her back arched. The power I felt at being able to do that to her was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. I reduced the pressure of my tongue, but kept up my rhythm until her body went limp, her knees closing around my shoulders.

  “I’m going to give up my job and make you come for a living,” I said as I crawled up her body, my cock making her shiver as it trailed up her legs. “It’s the most satisfying thing I could ever do.” I licked my lips, tasting her on me. She grasped my neck and pulled me toward her, unashamedly licking herself off my mouth. Fuck, she was the hottest thing I’d ever known.

  “I want you inside me, Luke.”

  She didn’t have to ask me twice. I positioned myself at her entrance, checking her reaction. Her lips were open, her eyes wide as she twisted beneath me, trying to get closer, trying to draw me in. I loved seeing the desperation in her eyes, the desire, the need. For me. My heart clenched with the knowledge that I hadn’t lost her. That she was mine.