Dorothy's Mystical Adventures in Oz

by Robert J. Evans

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  Chapter Seven:

  The Girrephalumps

  *

  By this time, the Tin Woodman and the Scarecrow had joined Dorothy atthe Girrephalump sign.

  "What do you make of it?" asked Dorothy.

  "Well, there's only one way to find out what it means," said the TinWoodman. "And that's to knock twice and see what happens."

  "Go ahead," said Dorothy. "With your metal fist, you should be able toknock loud enough for the Girrephalumps, whoever they are, to hear."

  BANG! BANG!

  The Tin Woodman knocked so hard that he almost knocked the sign down.Immediately there was a roar like thunder as a herd of animals descendedon the sign from seemingly nowhere.

  And what strange looking animals they were: Each had a giraffe's headand neck, but an elephant's body. Also, they were pink in color, withlarge white and blue dots all over.

  The leader of the Girrephalumps walked right up to Dorothy and said,"You knocked, madam?"

  Dorothy put her hand to her mouth to hide a smile. "Why, yes we did,"she answered, glancing sideways at the Tin Woodman.

  "Well," continued the Girrephalump, "where do you wish to go? We are theofficial transportation of Oz.... Of course, we also clean upstairswindows and replace the light bulbs in street lights. But I am sure thatat the moment it's transportation you want. Am I not correct?"

  "Why ... yes, you are perfectly correct," replied the girl, not a littlebewildered.

  "Well, where do you wish to be taken?" asked the Girrephalump. "And whatis the purpose of your journey?"

  "We wish to travel to Lion Country," replied Dorothy. "To visit ourfriend the Cowardly Lion, except that he's not cowardly any more."

  "And your purpose, my dear?"

  "We wish to join forces with the Lion because we have a very importantmission to perform."

  "Hmmm," said the Girrephalump. "And what may that mission be, if I maybe so bold as to ask?"

  "Well," answered Dorothy, "we're not totally certain. But we wish toconfront the Wicked Witch of the Deep South and speak with her."

  "OH, NO!" called out the Girrephalumps in unison, as they drew back.

  "We must have a conference," said the leader.

  The Girrephalumps all huddled together for several minutes.

  "We are afraid to take you to Lion Country," said the leader to Dorothyas he returned. "We could very well be attacked by the Wicked Witch. Youwill never get to Lion Country alone, for there are dangerous swamps,and only we know the way. Besides, you would be very foolish to continuewith this mission. You are not only endangering your own life, but alsothe lives of your companions. You must return at once!"

  "But I cannot!" exclaimed Dorothy, almost in tears. "We have come sofar, and we must go on. This is very important to us -- to all of Oz."

  "Hmmm," said the leader again. "We must have another conference."

  Once again, the Girrephalumps went into a huddle. This time they tookmuch longer.

  At length he returned, but looked very solemn. "Well," he said afterlooking at Dorothy for a long time. "The majority vote has predominated.But this is very unwise of you to insist on going on. If we are attackedwe will desert you and you will die in the swamps. Do you understand?"

  Dorothy looked at the Tin Woodman and the Scarecrow, and swallowed."Yes," she said. "We do."

  "Very well; so be it!" the leader replied. "The results will be on yourhead."

  The Scarecrow whispered to the Tin Woodman. "What did he say would be onDorothy's head?"

  "The results of her decision," answered the Woodman.

  "Oh," said the Scarecrow, as he thought the whole thing over.

  "Well, let's be on our way then," the leader said, kneeling down forDorothy to mount him. Two others did the same for the Tin Woodman andthe Scarecrow.

  Although the journey took almost two days, there were, fortunately, fewincidents. However, there was one particular situation that had lefteveryone more than a little shaky: The first indication that trouble wasbrewing was when a loud thumping sound could be heard in the distance.It sounded at first as if a bunch of people were beating on drums. Butas the thumping got louder it became apparent that some sort of stampedewas in progress. The Girrephalumps seemed ready to make a run for itwhen the deafening roar came to a sudden halt. Everyone looked at eachother in complete bewilderment. One moment they had been ready to runfor their lives; now there was only a deathly silence. The Girrephalumpsstood perfectly still for the longest time. Then their leader motionedhis head slowly towards a wooded area where he had detected some movement.

  "G-G-Good gracious," stammered Dorothy, as about fifty grizzly bearsemerged. The strange thing is that they didn't exactly lumber towardsthe little group as one might expect. They were bobbing up and down inplace as if they were all on trampolines. It then became apparent toall, that these were not ordinary bears, but were kangaroos with bearbodies, or, if you prefer, bears with kangaroo legs and tails. It wasthe most incredible sight imaginable!

  One bear, larger than all the others, approached (perhaps that is notthe word to use, hopped would be more like it). He hopped over to theleader of the Girrephalumps and growled very loudly in Dorothy's face.Unfortunately, he had very bad breath which caused Dorothy to quicklyturn away.

  "Look at me when I speak to you," growled the bear. "You are in KrizzlieBear country now. You will show the utmost respect."

  "I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Krizzlie ... Mr. Bear ... ER, Mr. KrizzlieBear. I didn't mean to be disrespectful, sir. But I, I thought I wasabout to sneeze and didn't want to sneeze in your face."

  "Hmmm, is that so?" mumbled the bear, looking a bit suspicious. "Well,what are you people doing here in the first place? We don't likevisitors. Didn't anyone tell you that?"

  "We didn't even know you existed," replied the Girrephalump leader. Wehave traversed these lands many times, and know every swamp and bog. Andwe have never come across another living creature. In fact, we thoughtthis whole area was devoid of life. It is so barren and inhospitable, wedidn't think anyone would want to live here."

  The bear was becoming angrier by the minute. "Are you saying you thinkour neighborhood is run down, and you don't think any decent personwould want to live here? Is that what you're saying? Is it? Is it?'Cause if it is, we can take care of that right now. We'll just eat youall up and that will end the argument immediately, if not sooner. Don'tyou agree?"

  "But I am not arguing with you, Sir Bear. Really," insisted theGirrephalump.

  "You are arguing right now. You are disagreeing with me. I'd call thatarguing, wouldn't you?" snorted the bear. "Wait! Did you say Sir Bear?Is that what I heard you say? Sir Bear?"

  "Indeed you did," replied the Girrephalump. "Sir Krizz, I believe thequeen will dub you when she hears how kind you were to us, and how youlet us pass safely through your vast estate. I have recommended severalknighthood's to her in the past and she has accepted every one withoutquestion."

  "Really!" said the bear. "Well, upon further reflection, perhaps I havebeen a little harsh with you people. You say you will mention how kindI've been?"

  "Indeed," replied the Girrephalump. "I will tell her how exceedinglykind you were. And I will recommend a knighthood in the strongest ofterms. Your title is guaranteed. You have my word as an officer and agentleman!"

  "Very well. You are all free to go," said the bear. "As you know, I havebeen joking all along. It was pretty funny, huh? If you just follow thislittle path, it will take you safely into Lion Country. And goodbye andgood luck to all of you."