Regenerate

by Emily Goldthwaite

  “You’re welcome, honey. I thought it might generate more public interest in my blogs about your yearly parties. Just a few more followers and I can get those vSpecs I’ve been needing.”

  I bite my lip and swallow hard. So that’s why she pulled it out of storage.

  “There, there, Averi. No need to cry, dear.” P.P.P. lit. How does she always switch into that tone when she reads it? “I would come tonight, but my back is acting up. I have to stay lying flat and still as possible until it calms down, or you know how it gets so much worse. You’ll understand what it’s like, once you’re my age. I promise I’ll watch your speech on the feed here at home. Ok?”

  You mean like you do every year? I swear her back pain is only an annual thing, suspiciously correlating with my parties.

  “I understand, Mom. Don’t worry about it.”

  The sound of our door chime cuts into our conversation and makes my heart drop.

  “He’s here!” Mom squeals.

  You’d think he was her date.

  I press a hand to the fitted bodice of my dress, trying to still the butterflies in my stomach. I take a deep, slow breath. This is it.

  I pace my steps as I walk towards the front room. Mom is physically in there talking with Lander, although using her Face Chat app to do it, and she is lying reclined in her air chair.

  Lander’s hair is pulled back into a ponytail, but not slicked, just natural and easy. His suit is smoky grey, with a textured vest, a white cravat, and cuffs that are rolled and buttoned. He looks amazing.

  His cobalt blue eyes pull up to me as I enter, and his face brightens. He straightens and then dips his head toward me as if we were in the days of antiquity. I blush all the way down my neck.

  He gives me a once over, then crosses his arms and squints. A knowing smile is tugging the corner of his lips. “You look like you’re straight out of a fairy tale.”

  I play with my skirt a little, unable to keep the pleased smile off my face. I’d hoped he would recognize the general design. “Thanks. So do you.”

  He straightens his cravat. “Then I guess we’re perfect for each other.” He holds out his arm to me.

  Mom lets out a high-pitched, wistful sigh. “Oh! You two are adorable! This will go viral, I just know it!”

  Bet she drafts wedding dress designs for me to check out by the time I get home tonight. That wasn’t a proposal, Mom; he’s just a big flirt. Outwardly I only widen my smile and cross the room to take his arm.

  As I slide my fingers around his admittedly impressive bicep, he slips his other hand over the top of mine. A calming warmth climbs up my arm and eases some of my nerves. This is going to be fun. We actually are pretty good friends now.

  Once outside, we pass by the transport docs. The air carriages usually pick us up there for the parties, since riding bi-peds in formal wear is just an all-around bad idea.

  “Lander, that was the carriage doc.”

  “I know,” he says without even a second glance. “We aren’t headed to the party, at least not yet.”

  I look around the deserted streets. “What do you mean? Where are we going?”

  “It’s a little birthday surprise I lined up for you. You’ll see.” He looks sideways at me, his smile heartbreakingly handsome.

  He changed the itinerary. My adrenaline is running more than I think it should right now. After all, it’s only a minor change.

  We arrive at the air tram station and now I’m really at a loss. “Are we going to see Grandma Jo?”

  He grins and ducks his head. “I thought about that. Then I realized you’d ask me that very question, so I had to do something less predictable.”

  As the tram pulls up, several of its cars pass us before it stops. The doors open, and there inside is a candlelit table with flowers, two chairs, and place settings for dinner.

  “After you, milady,” he says with a bow and a sweeping gesture.

  My heart is beating strong and steady. I’m completely lost for words. I don’t think something like this has ever been done. I didn’t know you could line up something like this on public transit.

  The lighting inside is ambient, with soft music playing in the background. He pulls out my chair for me and helps me into it. I’ve heard stories of kings and queens, and right now, that’s what I feel like. Like I’m someone who counts for something. His fingers gently brush against the skin of my arm in passing. The invigorating charge of the contact astounds me. He takes his seat at the other side of the table.

  “So, tell me,” Lander says as we eat our meatless meal. “What are your plans for after high school?”

  I blink several times. No one has ever asked me something like that before. “Well, we GAPs are expected to contribute to the re-generation program. So I guess marriage and then—”

  Lander throws back his head and laughs. “You sound like you’re quoting a commercial right now. I didn’t ask what the Organizers’ overall objectives are. I’m asking you what excites, inspires, and keeps you moving towards the future, Averielle Ann Gouch.” His eyes lock on mine and I melt under his gaze.

  Something about him using my full name feels intimate, like he’s seeing into the real me.

  I wet my lips and taste the lipstick the bot applied to them. Oops. “I . . . I guess I don’t know. Honestly, no one has ever asked me that. I’ve just always been told what my future is and so I go along with that.”

  “That’s not living, Averielle. Other than your beautiful, unduplicatable physical body, a robot could live the future you just described for yourself.”

  Did he really just say that about my body? I scowl at him. The air in here feels a little too warm.

  He winks at me, then keeps going. “Humans were born to be dreamers. We were designed to plan and create our futures, whatever we truly and deeply want for ourselves. If we don’t want anything, then we’re just going through the motions, and life loses all meaning and satisfaction.”

  I set down my utensils and rest my arms on the table, staring at him. “Where did you go to school? Because I think I missed the unit that taught this.”

  He gives one humorless chuckle. “The school of hard knocks. Now stop changing the subject.”

  I roll my eyes then give him a pointed stare. “Well then, Mr. Dreamer, what do you want for your future? Do you have everything all figured out?”

  He smiles and leans across the small table, closer to me. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. That’s the beauty of it. But…” He pauses, and the warmth of his breath caresses my face. “I’m definitely starting to make plans.”

  My heart picks up its pace, and I can’t seem to look away from his intent eyes, fixed on mine.

  “We’ll be arriving at the town hall soon.” His tone lowers, and he slips his pocket palm onto the table and looks about as if checking for prying ears. “There’s something I want to show to you first. Come with me.” He holds his hand out to me.

  I stare down at his outstretched hand, then back to his burning blue, smiling eyes. I gulp down my bursting nerves, slip my phone next to Lander’s, and slide my hand into his.

  He leads me through several other cars, to the very back of the tram. It’s empty but for some supplies in bio-friendly boxes.

  “The supply room. Now this is special,” I say.

  He snorts and playfully knocks my shoulder with his. “If this was what I wanted to show you, you’d better believe there’s a twist coming.”

  I cock a brow at him. “Oh, I’d believe it.”

  He gives my hand a quick squeeze then lets go and moves to the door. The red letters projected above the door say Locked, but this doesn’t faze him. He pulls something strange and metallic out of his pocket and passes it over the key panel like a regular, chipped key card. Then he stows the object back into his tux. I know that whatever that was, it wasn’t a real key card, but somehow it does the trick.

  The sign above the door changes from red to a green Unlocked message.

  I st
are at him with squinted eyes. “How did you do that?”

  He smiles and takes my hand again. “No more questions, Miss Nosy. Just enjoy the moment.”

  He opens the door and we step out onto a very small open-air balcony. A cold rush of wind hits my face and pulls at my tightly pinned hair. I catch my breath. My fingers secure a death grip on the horizontal poly-plex bar that serves as the only rail. There are no walls around us, nothing to protect us from falling or jumping off or from projectiles hitting us. The ground and trees are passing by so fast that they look like blots of smudgy brown and grey.

  He turns and closes the door, and I think uses the key thing again. Then he moves up beside me and holds the rail next to where I’m gripping it. Our arms are nearly touching lengthwise, and despite the crisp air, I can feel the warmth of him.

  “What do you think?” he asks.

  “This is amazing! I feel like I’m flying or something. How did you arrange for this?” I look over at him.

  He gives me a quick sideways glance. “No more technical questions, remember?”

  “All right, fine. But is this even legal?” I already know there’s no way it is. It’s way too dangerous for any GAP. But I guess that’s why it’s so exciting.

  His blue eyes watch the passing horizon like he’s searching for something. “Legal?” Lander murmurs to himself. He gnaws on the inner corner of his lip and shakes his head. “Probably not.”

  I turn to watch him, my head tilting. He’s struggling inside with something. Whether good or bad, I get the sense he’s losing the fight.

  Lander turns to face me and draws a long breath. “And this might not be legal either.” His arm slides around to the small of my back, pulling me into him. The press of his torso against mine makes my breath catch. His other hand slips around the nape of my neck, and his lips firmly plant on mine.

  Chapter Eighteen

  My heart bursts with a life and rhythm I didn’t know it was capable of. A current of electricity is shooting through all my limbs like a dance beneath my skin. This is nice. Really nice. My eyes shut tight, but the initial tension of surprise eases out of my shoulders as I melt into the warm comfort of his tight embrace.

  The cool wind is whipping around us and I can tell I should feel chilled, but here in his arms, the chill doesn’t even register. I feel secure and very much alive.

  His kiss lasts only a few seconds before he pulls away. Instantly I miss it.

  Drawing a long slow breath, I open my eyes. He’s got that look on his face, the one I can’t quite read. His brow is low and his penetrating, unreadable gaze is honed in on me.

  Neither of us say anything; we just stand there a moment, his arms still around me and his warmth still lingering on my neck and lips.

  His mouth opens as if to speak, but the tram suddenly starts to slow.

  It’s as if reality smacks Lander upside his blond head. He drops his arms to his sides and takes a step back. Almost instantly the frosty autumn temperature fills my limbs. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself.

  Lander feels at his suit pockets. “We gotta get back to the dinner car, we’re almost there. Now where is that—” His sentence abruptly stops as he pulls the thin silver card from his breast pocket. He reaches for the door lock, but a strong gust of wind kicks up and rips it out of his fingers. He makes a grab for the key card but misses.

  The metallic card whips towards the end of the tram, but just before it’s beyond reach, my fingers snatch it midair. How the heck? I stare at it pinched between my fingers.

  Lander raises a brow with a smile on his lips as he plucks it from my grasp. “Nice catch. From now on I’ll have to call you Lightning instead of Shrieker.”

  I try to scowl and roll my eyes, but my smile ruins it. “Let’s just stick with Averi for once. All right?”

  He chuckles and unlocks the door.

  The heat of the car is refreshing as it hits my rosy nose and cheeks. “I still can’t get over how I grabbed that card so fast,” I say. “I hardly realized you’d lost it before it was between my fingers.”

  He holds open the door for me, his shrewd eyes trailing me as I pass by. “Maybe your reflexes are improving.”

  I scratch my neck. “I can’t imagine why.”

  He follows me in and locks the door behind us. “Did you follow that dietary tip I gave you?”

  I make a lovely choking sound in my throat. “Not by choice. Something happened to all the meat, so they had to pull it this week.”

  He crosses his arms and takes a wide stance. “Sounds like fate did you a favor, and all the heavy lifting.”

  I glare at him. “Favor? Not hardly. My taste buds think I’m trying to murder them with boredom.” Not to mention I keep getting the shakes like a stinking Opallien addict.

  He cocks his head and rolls his next words around before speaking them. “Sometimes the optimum choice isn’t the most palatable one.”

  His statement—or maybe the way he said it—makes a chill run down my back. “I guess so,” I murmur. What does he know, and why is he hiding it?

  The town hall is decked out to the nines this year. There’s a faux ceiling of little white lights hovering and shifting, as if a literal ocean of stars floats above our heads.

  Arriving just as the birthday dinner ends definitely gets us more than a few suspicious stares and whispered murmurs. I’m pretty sure Lander’s chest is puffed up to his neck and there’s an extra big swagger in his step. Glad at least one of us likes to be the center of attention. I wish my hair were down so I could hide and avoid seeing everyone’s reaction.

  My hand tightens around Lander’s arm and I try to keep my breathing normal as the anxiety constricts my middle. If I’d realized our late arrival would cause a stir, I would’ve insisted we not dine on the tram, no matter how cool and totally romantic it was.

  Lander’s warm, firm hand closes over mine. The pressure of his fingers eases my death grip on his bicep by a fraction.

  He leans in close and whispers, “Are you hearing all this? Every girl here is freaking out about how awesome your dress is. I think you have a bright future in the fashion industry. Nicely done, Averi!”

  I exhale a large, pent-up breath. All that tightness in my chest melts instantly. Is that really what they’re talking about? A new sense of confidence fills me clear down to my toes and I straighten my shoulders.

  I look around and see the smiles and whispers as being something completely different than two seconds ago.

  My eyes slide over to Lander. Even his proud smirk seems different. He’s proud to be . . . with me.

  He turns and catches my stare, giving me a solid wink. It dissolves my remaining internal resistance to his interpretation of the gossip. How does he know? He always knows just what to say, and I never see it coming.

  We meet up with our group just before it’s time for the birthday speeches.

  Kachina rushes over and takes me by the arms, pulling me a few paces from Lander. Her face is lit up and her deep-emerald dress glistens. “Oh, Averi, you look divine! Zeph, look how gorgeous she turned out.”

  I glance towards Zephani, but she’s messing with her Pocket Palm and pretends not to notice. However, her eyes dart our direction for a fraction of an instant and I see her deep-set scowl. What’s she so ticked about? And where the heck is Rax?

  “Nice dress, Averi,” says Jett. “Don’t think I’ve seen that one before. Way better than your thirteenth party,”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Thanks. I would hope so.”

  He claps Lander on the shoulder. “Man, those are the coolest duds I’ve ever seen. I think you got the leg up on all us dudes.”

  “Thanks, man,” says Lander. ”I’ve been meaning to ask you how your efforts to crack the Organizer’s Movement System is going?”

  The two guys start talking tech, which is my cue to tune out. I turn to ask Kachina how the dinner went, and what the heck is up with Zeph, but they’re both off chatting with Pollina in the next gro
up over.

  Someone right behind me clears his throat. “That is the most amazing formal I’ve seen. It looks almost as incredible as the girl who’s wearing it.”

  I spin around to face Raxtin. His arms are crossed and he leans back, his bright hazel eyes fixed on me in a way I don’t think I’ve seen from him. He looks approving, yet there’s a fleeting unhappiness that crosses his expression when looking at me.

  Did he think I was going to ditch out on his speech? Or maybe he’s suspicious about why we missed the GAP dinner. I go to straighten my hair then realize it’s all pulled up, so I cross my arms like him. “Thanks, Rax. You look really nice too.” And he does. His suit is a rusty brown with a green tie that brings out the same tones in his eyes.

  Raxtin thanks me and takes a step closer, nearly closing the small distance between us. He looks like he’s got something to say rattling around in him. Before he can say it, Jett’s voice interrupts us.

  “Hey, man, there you are.” Rax slides back a fraction.

  Jett continues, “Don’t you have to be backstage or something?”

  Raxin’s gaze breaks from me, and he looks wide-eyed up to the platform behind me. “Crap. That’s right.”

  Did he forget to write the speech? Why does that make me queasy? If he forgot, I’d prefer he just wing it rather than having the recorded one again.

  Kachina and Zeph head over, but as soon as they see Rax talking to me, Zeph falls behind. Raxtin’s eyes find me again and he touches my arm. “See you up there in a few,” he says, then his hand slides away.

  I’ve never been so aware of the feel of his fingers on my skin. Something electrical runs across the surface of my arm where he brushed. It lingers like a slowly fading battery charge. I swallow hard and turn shakily towards the stage.

  “Don’t worry, Averi,” says Lander, stepping up beside me, our shoulders almost touching. “Whatever he says up there is just a revelation about how he sees things. You’re under no obligations unless you choose to be. And you’re entitled to see things your own way.”