Frankie Fish and the Viking Fiasco
Page 10
Frankie felt his face going red. ‘It was nothing, really,’ he said quickly, and grabbed the Cocoa Pit voucher from Principal Dawson’s hand.
‘SPEECH! SPEECH! SPEECH!’ chanted the crowd.
Principal Dawson pressed the microphone into Frankie’s hand. Looking out at that sea of faces, Frankie’s mouth felt completely dry and his tongue seemed to have twisted itself into a pretzel. Then he spotted two faces in the crowd that made his nerves disappear.
‘I’d like to thank my sister Lou, and my best mate Drew Bird, for all his assistance with the, um … magic trick. You have no idea how far we went to win this. Drew, milkshakes are on me!’
Then Frankie dropped the mic and strode off the stage to the cheers of the entire school.
(Well, the entire school minus one, that is. Can you guess who?)
It was a week later and Frankie and Drew had barely spoken to Grandad. As they’d come really close to seriously disrupting the history of the world, Frankie thought it was best that they give Grandad some space. He and Drew hadn’t even had their first pig-out meal at the Cocoa Pit yet.
But that all changed the following Sunday morning when the Fish family phone rang.
‘It’s your grandad for you, Frankie!’ called Frankie’s mum.
Frankie frowned. Grandad was calling him? That was strange. Usually it was Nanna Fish who made the phone calls. He felt a twinge in his tummy. He really hoped Grandad wasn’t calling him from Ancient Greece or the Jurassic period asking for help.
‘Hello?’ Frankie said hesitantly.
‘Hey kiddo, how are ye feeling?’ Grandad sounded chipper. Suspiciously so.
‘I’m good, I guess,’ replied Frankie cautiously.
‘That’s great,’ shouted Grandad.
‘Um, Grandad, did you double-dose your medication or something?’ Frankie blurted.
‘Don’t be a fool. I’m just happy to talk to my grandson!’
‘So you don’t need me to come rescue you from anywhere?’
‘Ye and yer jokes,’ Grandad chuckled. ‘No, nothing like that ...’
Frankie breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he was worrying for nothing.
‘But I would like to meet with ye today,’ added Grandad. ‘There’s something I need to, er, come clean about. A big secret that it’s high time ye knew about.’
Frankie’s first instinct was to pretend the phone line had been disconnected. Grandad was acting so strangely. He really wasn’t sure he wanted to know what Grandad’s big secret was. But he also knew it was probably better that he found out sooner rather than later.
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘I’ll come over now.’
‘Oh and bring yer friend, what’s-his-name, along if ye like.’
‘Drew Bird?’
‘Yes, bring ol’ Bird-brain along.’
‘Well, in that case, how about we meet at the Cocoa Pit? Our treat.’
‘Good idea!’ Grandad said abruptly, and then hung up, leaving his grandson very curious and more than a little nervous about what was going to be revealed.
The doorbell dinged as Frankie walked into the Cocoa Pit, where he found Grandad and Nanna Fish sitting together in a booth.
Frankie was relieved that Nanna was there, as surely it meant that Grandad’s big secret wasn’t that he had a girlfriend (not that Frankie had ever truly believed that anyway, but Drew had planted the idea in his mind and sometimes it was hard to ignore Drew’s ideas).
Speaking of Drew, he was sitting alongside Nanna Fish, already halfway through a giant cookie. ‘Frankie, sweetheart!’ cooed Nanna, making an even bigger fuss than usual over seeing him.
Frankie’s nervous feeling doubled in size. Something wasn’t right.
‘Grandad, what’s going on? This is weirding me out.’
‘OK, lads,’ said Grandad, leaning back. ‘I won’t waste anymore of ye time, as we all know just how precious time is.’
‘You’re going to tell us to stop time-travelling, aren’t you?’ Frankie interrupted. ‘You’re going to ban us from using the Sonic Suitcase. And to be honest, Grandad, I think you’re right. We put lives in danger with this latest fiasco – Birger’s life, Brynjar’s, our own and even Lisa Chadwick’s. So let me say that I agree with you. We should destroy the Sonic Suitcase.’
There was a long, quiet pause while everyone looked from Frankie, to Grandad, and then back to Frankie.
‘What a load of crapola,’ Grandad roared.
‘What?’ said Frankie.
‘What?’ repeated Drew.
‘Crapola,’ repeated Grandad loudly. ‘It’s Italian for crap.’
‘I don’t think that’s true –’ said Frankie.
‘Why would I stop ye using the suitcase?’ Grandad barrelled on. ‘We have one of the greatest inventions of all time in our possession. Could ye imagine if Alexander Graham Bell told everybody not to use the telephone or if Edison said don’t use lightbulbs? No, that’s a silly way to think ...’
‘Then why are we here, exactly?’ asked Drew, who was now out of cookies.
‘I admit we do definitely need to make things safer. We need somebody we trust to keep an eye on us, keep us safe, keep everybody safe. Someone who can help update the Sonic Suitcase. Someone with a strong sense of responsibility and teamwork. Now, who is the person best suited to fill that role?’
Frankie scratched his head and uttered the only name he could think of. ‘Nanna Fish?’
Nanna snorted and shook her head. ‘No thank you, dearie,’ she said. ‘The Sonic oozamajig is not for me.’
‘No, Nanna’s time-travelling days finished after that trip to Imperial China,’ Grandad said. ‘I’ve been working with someone for a little while now, and they’ve already shown themselves to be perfect for the job. The Memory Wipe Sunglasses, the translating padlock and the coloured light display were all her work. I think she’s going to be a great addition to the team. And so from now on, she must be involved in any adventures you plan …’
Frankie and Drew looked at each other, eyebrows raised. She?
Just then, the cafe’s doorbell tinkled brightly again. Grandad looked up and his eyes sparkled. ‘Why don’t ye say hello to our new Head of Time-Travel Logistics?’
Curiously, Frankie turned. Walking towards their booth, carrying the Sonic Suitcase, was none other than …
His sister, Saint Lou.
‘Hey brother,’ Lou said with an excited but slightly nervous smile. ‘So, where to next?’
Frankie’s jaw dropped. ‘Oh, crapola.’
THE END
Peter Helliar is the best-selling author of the Frankie Fish series and one of Australia’s favourite comedians. He lives in Melbourne with his wife and three kids.
The Gold Logie nominee co-hosts the award-winning news and current affairs program The Project, and wrote and starred in the new TV comedy How To Stay Married, both on Network Ten. His latest family comedy show is The Complete History of Better Books. He plans to interview Frankie Fish on The Project one day, in what will hopefully be an exclusive.
Many thanks to Brij, Liam, Aidan and Oscar. My team at Token Artists: Kevin, Dioni, Helen, Sam, Kathleen. The amazing people at Hardie Grant Egmont, led by Marisa Pintado: Luna Soo, Meredith Badger, Penelope White, Pooja Desai, Kristy Lund-White, Haylee Collins, Julia Kumschick and the entire sales team. Lesley Vamos, whose drawings bring Frankie and co. to life! Most importantly of all, thanks to all the kids who have taken Frankie, Drew, Grandad, Nanna and Saint Lou into their homes, hearts and heads. I continually think of you when I am writing these books. Your passion and eagerness to read has kept Frankie and the gang going.
Finally, thank you to the librarians across the country – and indeed the world – who encourage reading and who keep putting books into the hands of kids.
Frankie Fish and the Viking Fiasco
first published in 2018 by
Hardie Grant Egmont
Ground Floor, Building 1, 658 Church Street
Richmond, Victoria 3121,
Australia
www.hardiegrantegmont.com
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Text copyright © 2018 Peter Helliar
Design copyright © 2018 Hardie Grant Egmont
Illustration by Lesley Vamos
Design by Kristy Lund-White
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