Masked & Miserable: A Novella of the Sacred Hearts MC (Book 3.5)

by Downey, A. J.

  “Shhh, don’t say anything,” I put my fingertips to his lips and he looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time ever.

  “What did you do?” he asked and the question was full of fear and horror.

  “Aaron, I swear to you, I did exactly what I told you. I sat on the front porch of that cabin and watched out for the girls inside. I didn’t hurt anybody, I didn’t even have to threaten anybody. The guys went out, handled what needed handling and left me with the order to shoot anything that wasn’t in Sacred Hearts or Kraken colors. I didn’t have to though, no one that wasn’t supposed to be there came around. It was just me and the girls.” Aaron gave me a hard look.

  “Would you have?” he asked bluntly.

  “Would I have what?” I asked.

  “Shot one of them if they came around… done what they told you to do?” he was looking at me as if the answer to this question would decide a lot of things and I felt totally alone. I took my hands from his and fixed my gaze on a stray goose feather on top of the comforter.

  “If it came down to it, and they were coming to hurt one of the girls or cause trouble at the cabin, yes. I would have done everything to warn them off first, but if they were coming to hurt Ashton or Everett or Shelly or any of them I would have protected my own. This is my family Aaron,” I sniffed and felt my shoulders drop as he scooted off the bed.

  “I’m not a violent guy Andy,” he said.

  “I’m not either Aaron, you gotta believe that, but I didn’t start this. None of us did, and I can’t and won’t let those animals hurt these people… or me, or you. I love this club and the people in it. At the end of the day these guys, these women, they’re all I’ve got in the world. I have no more mother, no more father or sister. They turned their backs on me but you know what? These guys never will. Never. Not ever, and I won’t turn my back either.” I was getting angry. I knew it wasn’t at Aaron, just angry seemed like such a better option right now than hurt and Aaron was fixing to hurt me but good. I’d let him get under my skin, let him in far too quickly and I was about to pay the price.

  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  “I need to think about all of this,” he said quietly. I nodded, mutely. I didn’t trust myself to speak. The silence stretched between us. Finally I broke it and it killed me to do it.

  “I’ll have Sunshine or Doll drive you home. Thanks for coming to the shop, for being at the hospital.” I got up a little too quickly and swayed on my feet. Aaron reached out but I took a step back. I didn’t want to add to an already shitty enough night. Clean break, like ripping off a Band-Aid; that was the best way to go with these kinds of things, right?

  “Please don’t do that, please no, I don’t quite know what to do with all of this Andy, this is a lot… You almost died! You got blown up! And now you’re telling me you’re in the middle of some kind of war with a rival motorcycle gang and that people have been getting shot and raped and, and, and… disappeared!? It’s a lot to process and I don’t know what to do or how to deal and so I just need a little bit of time to think!” he looked like he was about to cry and I listened to everything he was saying and even though it fucking hurt like a son of a bitch, he was right.

  I was ass deep in trouble and sinking fast and it had the potential to bleed all over him and I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him getting hurt. This was all way out of pocket and I didn’t know how it was going to end up. I mean shit, The Suicide Kings used a fucking bomb tonight. They blew my place of work sky fucking high! I needed Aaron out of this. I needed him safe and I needed to make sure he stayed that way and so I did that, the only way I knew how… and it was the biggest dick thing I could do or say but I said it anyways:

  “Sounds to me like you’ve made up your mind already,” I said and licked my lips. I felt hot and shaky with adrenaline I didn’t want to do this I didn’t want to lose him but I didn’t want Aaron getting caught up in this mess.

  “Andy that’s not what I meant and you know it,” he said and his jaw set into stubborn lines.

  “Isn’t it? Dude, Aaron it’s cool. It was fun while it lasted and MC life, it’s not for everyone,” I hung my head and palmed the back of my neck so he couldn’t see the tears welling in my eyes as I tried to say as nonchalantly as possible, “It was fun while it lasted right?” I saw his shoulders drop and the stricken expression on his face through the edge of my vision and I felt like a grade ‘A’ number one jackass.

  “Andy,” his voice faltered.

  “I’ll get one of the girls to drive you home,” I mumbled again and I was out the door. I found Ash and Hayden and Hayden slipped out to drive Aaron home while Ashton held me while I cried. Shit this sucked. This sucked fucking hard.

  Chapter 12

  Disney…

  I got out of the back seat of Trig and Ash’s red Jeep and was immediately assaulted by the acrid burning smell. The rest of the MC had stayed back at the clubhouse. It was just me, Trig, Ash and Rev. The shop had finally been cleared of investigators and we were here to listen to what the fire marshal and cops had to say.

  It was mid-morning drifting on towards afternoon and the autumn sky was as bright and blue and cheery as could be. We’d met as a club to decide what to do after Aaron had gone and Doc had arrived, deciding that it was pretty much on like Donkey Kong with The Suicide Kings. They wanted to fuck with us, well we weren’t going to take it lying down. Almost all of the out of town Sacred Hearts Nomads and Chapter members who had answered Dragon and Dray’s call had thrown their lot in with us. Our number of brothers swelled to where we were now more closely matched with The Suicide Kings and plans were under way to take them down a notch or two. For the time being though, those plans didn’t include me, Trig or Zand- Revelator. We had our livelihoods to rebuild and from the looks of things they wouldn’t be rebuilt here.

  The shop looked like something out of the Gaza strip, not like something smack dab in the middle of Anytown, U.S.A. The front of the shop was just, gone… The front of the building just blown out. Insulation hanging like ribbon and charred timbers jagged and threatening. I felt bad. The insurance company on one side of us and the sandwich shop on the other both had to close up shop. The building as a whole had to come down. Trig, Rev and me waded through the wreckage to our respective work areas. There wasn’t anything for Ashton to salvage from the front desk, the front desk was just gone. She picked her way carefully over the blackened streaks and chunks of cinderblock littering the black and white checkered floor and picked up one of the water damaged framed news articles about Open Road off the scarred linoleum.

  Tears sprang up in her golden eyes and she shook before breaking into a sob and Trig was just there. His arms went around his woman and he pulled her into the most loving and protective embrace that I felt the loss of Aaron like a knife in the gut. I pushed a filing cabinet out of my way and stepped into my alcove which was miraculously mostly untouched. I opened my tool box and everything was in it, just fine. I picked up Rusty’s tattoo gun and clutched it to my chest and felt overcome with emotion myself.

  The heavy duty Husky tool box I used to store all my tattoo shit had protected it from the blast and the fire hadn’t reached over here. The tools of my trade were intact and the memories attached to them were too. It was the only glimmer of hope to have come from this so far. I looked around me and at my brothers and friends and felt just as blasted apart as the damned shop but this wouldn’t be the first time I’d had to tear down and build from the beginning. Hopefully it would be the last though because at the tender age of twenty-two I was fucking tired of rebuilding from the ground up, only to have my shit knocked down and forced to rebuild again.

  “Hey guys!” I heard Rev call out, “Thermo-fax is good!” I felt my shoulders slump in relief. That would have been a bitch to replace.

  “My guns are cool, Disney, what about yours?” Trig called.

  “All my shit’s cool. Protected by the industrial tool box you guys recommended,” I called back.


  “My guns are toast, but most of the piercing shit is good,” Zander called.

  We all met up out in the center of the shop floor, Ashton clinging to Trig.

  “I’ma call Dray have him get a U-Haul and bring it. We need to get this shit out to the parking lot before these guys say we can’t be in here anymore.” We made a plan, agreed to it and got our asses to work. Which sucked hard for me with how much I hurt but at the same time was fucking perfect. It kept my mind off Aaron.

  When we’d gotten to the shop, my first priority had been to salvage as much of my livelihood as I could. My second priority was laying on her side dented to hell and back and left me wondering if she would even start. I couldn’t hoist her upright if I wanted to in my current state so one of the FNG’s (Fucking New Guys) did it for me.

  “Man it’s a damn shame. You had her lookin’ brand spankin’ new. Saw her one of my first nights here and been meaning to ask you about her.” I looked at the guy and blinked. His strawberry blonde hair was shaved so close to his head you could see scalp and he was built, the shoulders of his leather jacket and the cut overlaying them straining. Dray had shown up with a U-Haul box truck with a pile of the nomads and outlying chapter guys, all looking at patching over into our chapter, trailing behind it.

  Everett, who’d been driving the truck, was standing nearby with her best friend Mandy, they were comforting Ashton and helping her to box up what papers they could out of the shop’s dented and waterlogged filing cabinets.

  “What’s your name?” I asked. I’m sure he’d told me but fuck if I could remember. He smiled and held out his hand.

  “Red-Thirteen,” he said. I raised an eyebrow.

  “Disney,” I took his hand and his shake was firm, “That’s going to get confusing as fuck. Revelator calls her Red.” I said indicating Mandy who was carefully and efficiently sorting papers according to what Ashton was telling her.

  “Naw, just call me Thirteen or R.T., it’s not my first rodeo being around other ‘Reds’,” he said.

  “No disrespect, but how the hell did you come by such a long road name?” I asked as we inspected the damage to Devi. I’d decided to keep the name Aaron had given her.

  “Kind of embarrassing actually,” he started but didn’t get to finish. Dragon came over with another new guy.

  “Thirteen, borrow you?” Dragon asked.

  “Yeah what’s up P.?” they wandered a distance away, heads together and another new guy, who introduced himself quietly as Blue, helped Rev walk my thrashed bike up into the back of the old pick up Dragon had rolled up in. I heaved a sigh. I had no idea how I was going to pay rent let alone how I was going to fix my bike. Hell my car was dead in a parking stall back at my apartment.

  “Fuck,” I swore low and hard.

  “What’s the matter Puddin’?” Zander asked.

  “Let’s see, I’m out of a job, out of a car, out of a bike, out of a boyfriend and now that I’m out of a job I’m going to be out of a place to live because I can’t make my fucking rent on what I’ve made so far this month.” I pushed my hands through my hair, the cast on my left wrist hard against my scalp and I held the back of my head, fingers laced. I straightened up tall and let out an explosive breath. Revelator looked at me, his dark eyes sorrowful.

  “Didn’t know about Aaron, I’m sorry man,” he looked at his red Converse high tops and back up, “We’ll find another place to set up shop. Can’t do anything about the job until then but you got family in me and Trig before any of this shit went down. You got much shit to move?” I blinked.

  “Just my tool box and bike, both are loaded I think,” I said.

  “No, dipshit, from your apartment,” Rev said exasperated.

  “What are you getting at?” I asked.

  “I got an empty room at the house you can have. Your apartment is a piece of shit and not worth the money you been dumping in to living in it. We got the truck, let’s dump the shop stuff off in my garage and go get your shit while we got it. Get it all done at once, Brother.” He held out his hand and I blinked in confusion.

  “You want my faggot ass to move in with you?” I asked incredulous.

  “One, don’t ever call yourself that again,” he said sharply, “Two, you got a better idea? I know you been living paycheck to paycheck. My place is straight up mine. It doesn’t look like much but Hell, been in it by myself since my granddaddy died and he left it to me, having a roommate might not be such a bad thing.” I blinked stupidly for a second.

  “You want me to move in with you?” I repeated, skeptically.

  “Dude, Squick,” I flinched at the old nickname. I didn’t want to be that guy anymore. Revelator pushed on, “Tattooing is all you got, it’s what you do, it’s fucking what you’re good at, fuck you’re one of the best I’ve ever seen. Me, I got tattooing and piercing, sure but I can make more off one fight than I can spending an entire month sticking people with needles!” He looked at me and I nodded slowly. Everything was this total nightmare whirlwind and I feel like I had yet to fucking land but I already knew I wasn’t in fucking Kansas anymore.

  “Okay,” I said, because what other choice did I have? I didn’t have enough money for rent and rent was due in two weeks. I wasn’t going to find a new job, or open a new shop with these guys or make enough money doing either inside two weeks so why fucking fight it?

  “Okay?” he asked.

  “Okay,” I affirmed.

  Okay.

  Chapter 13

  Disney…

  I’d spent the last three days with Ashton in Rev’s garage sorting through the shit we’d salvaged from the shop, we were getting nowhere with the paperwork. Zander was training in his home gym to get back into fighting for the time being and Trig, well Trig could do work from home under the table, even though he didn’t have to. Ashton more than had them covered. Shelly’s genius with numbers had seen the money she’d gotten from her douche bag ex-husband’s death grow rather than shrink, even with dropping a huge chunk of change into Ev and Mandy’s shop and the clubhouse renovations.

  We were worried about Ev and Mandy’s shop, even though everything had gone through Ashton and the club was nowhere near it. The club hadn’t had a whole lot to do with Open Road Ink either, they’d just provided startup funds in the tattoo shop’s beginning when the club had been looking for legitimate ventures to go into after Dragon’s Old Lady had been killed. Open Road Ink had been one of those ventures, Open Road Garage had been another.

  Now I was sitting on the edge of my new bed in my new room at Zander’s with my cellphone in my hands watching the cursor on the white screen blink off and on, my thumbs poised over the touch screen keyboard. I missed Aaron. I wanted so badly to see if this was something we could talk about, something we could fix or deal with… or try to anyways.

  I hadn’t heard anything from him since we parted ways at the club, and that sucked. Hard. I’d been staring at my phone for the last fifteen minutes, keeping the screen from going dark, trying to think of what the Hell to say when it buzzed in my hands. It was a text message from Aaron.

  Aaron: I don’t want it to end like this. Please. Meet me?

  My breath caught in my lungs and my thumbs twitched… I waited a heartbeat, then two, then cautiously tapped out a response. It was awkward holding the phone with the black cast on my wrist.

  Okay. Where?

  I held my breath and scraped my lower lip through my teeth while I anxiously waited for a reply. The sound of my lip ring clicking against my teeth offset by the clanking weights from Rev’s home gym.

  Aaron: My place?

  I wanted that but at the same time, I didn’t know if that was such a good idea. I pursed my lips. I couldn’t think of anyplace else more neutral. I couldn’t and wouldn’t do this here after just moving in and I wouldn’t take it to the club house either so I gave in.

  Fine. I need to find a ride. You going anywhere?

  The message came back immediately.

  Aaron: No. I
’ll be waiting.

  “Zander!” I called out and heard his bellow from his home gym.

  “What!?”

  “Borrow your car!?”

  “Yeah! Keys are on the hook inside the front door! You scratch her I beat you! Got it!?” he called back.

  “Got it!” I affirmed and heard weights clang to the floor.

  I pulled on some fresh clothes and was just straightening from pulling on my boots when his compact frame filled the doorway, shoulders nearly touching the door jamb to either side of him.

  “Going to see Aaron?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said shrugging into my jacket and cut.

  “Good luck man. I mean it about the car,” he turned to the side so I could go out past him.

  “I know, thanks.” I went out to the living room and retrieved the keys to his Chevelle off the hook and slipped out into the rain. I took off my cut and folded it neatly over my arm before getting into the car. The rain pattered softly on the roof, the inside windows fogging around the edges. I started the 68 Chevelle SS and it roared to life. Zander had put a lot of love, time and care into restoring her. She was a beautiful cherry red with white racing stripes and I was suddenly nervous about taking her out of the driveway, but I did it anyways.

  The drive to Aaron’s felt like a long one. My heart throbbing painfully in my chest, my cheeks hot as I filled from the bottom to the top with a soul crushing anxiety about how things were going to unfold here. I pulled into a free parking space next to Aaron’s Subaru and cut the engine. I wanted to get back to work somehow, somewhere and build myself my bike. My Mazda sat at Open Road Garage and would be fixed and sold. I didn’t mind riding in all weather for the time being if it meant I had another project that would net me something like this at its end.

  I sat for a long time, frozen in my seat, hands sliding back and forth over the black steering wheel. Out to the sides and back in, out to the sides and back in. I didn’t know what it was about Aaron that tied me in freaking knots so hard after barely knowing him. I couldn’t explain it, I didn’t think it really needed explaining. Just something about being near him soothed my soul. When I was in his presence everything felt right and natural and, I don’t know… I just felt like when I was with him or near him that I was the kind of me that I always wanted to be.