REAPER (Boston Underworld Book 2)

by A. Zavarelli

  Sasha

  A month has passed since I’ve been holed up at Alexei’s. And I’m not at all happy with it, but I know that Ronan is keeping me safe until everything blows over. I haven’t been able to see him as much since Alexei’s house is so far out of the city and he’s taken on the new role of Underboss.

  He assured me that the extra hours aren’t going to last forever, but just during the transition. He also assured me that this new role is going to be better for us. And while I was hesitant at first to know he was becoming even more deeply embedded into the syndicate, now I’m inclined to agree.

  This change means he won’t be out on the streets, putting himself at risk every day. He’ll be handling business in the club and the men who work beneath him. And he won’t be spending so much time in the basement which is what I really care about.

  I know who Ronan is and I’m not going to ask him to change. I wouldn’t want him to change. But I want him to know something besides violence. Besides blood. I want him to know what it’s like to have a different sort of family. One besides the mafia.

  Already, I see the differences in him. His priorities have changed. And when he shows up here in the middle of the night, his face tired and drawn, he’s doing it for me. He could go home. But he told me once, in a sleepy murmur, that his home is here with me. Wherever I am that’s where he’ll be too.

  The simplicity of his statement was so honest that he didn’t understand how much those words could ever mean to me.

  When I wake up this morning and find him with his leg tossed over me, keeping me in place, I smile. He never sleeps in, but it’s past ten already, and here he is, still out like a light. I roll into him and graze his throat with my lips.

  He groans and then his sleepy brown eyes flutter open. He’s still barely coherent, but already he’s kissing me back, grinding his hips into me. Ronan always takes me in the morning. And often when he gets home at night too, regardless of how tired he is. Sometimes, we even find each other in the middle of the night, in a dead sleep. Our bodies are bringing us together before our minds ever catch up to it.

  This morning though, there’s another change in him as he flips me over and moves inside of me. He’s no longer rushed or out of control, but slow and gentle. His eyes are on mine, soft and filled with possession.

  When I convulse around him, he ceases all movement. His breath is halted, his biceps and neck corded and taut. He’s nervous for some reason. Which he hasn’t been for a while now. But one thing I’ve learned with Ronan is that he usually takes a while to process things, and then they come up later unexpectedly.

  “What is it?” I reach up and touch his face. He leans into my hand and closes his eyes.

  “Sasha…” his voice cracks.

  And then he’s fucking me again. It’s hard and fast now. His face is buried in my neck, and I’m cupping the back of his head, holding him against me. I don’t know what’s going on with him, but I also know not to push him. He’ll tell me when he’s ready.

  And as it turns out, that’s right after he releases himself on a long, painful groan inside of me. I’m still filled with him, kissing his neck when he blurts out what’s on his mind.

  “Would ye have me as your husband?”

  My hands stop moving, my breath sputters, and I stare up at him in shock.

  “Are you…” I croak. “Are you asking me to marry you?”

  “Aye,” he says carefully.

  His brows are scrunched together, and he isn’t blinking. At all. He’s so worried I’m going to say no that he keeps looking for tells. He doesn’t need them because I put him out of his misery quickly and without hesitation.

  “Yes, Ronan.”

  “Yes?” he questions. “You will?”

  I nod. But he still doesn’t look convinced, so I kiss him to seal the deal. He gets so into it that he seems to forget his disbelief, which is exactly what I intended. And that’s that.

  He collapses beside me and pulls me into the crook of his arm. I nuzzle into him and breathe in his scent, my eyes fluttering shut in the safe haven he provides.

  “Sasha?”

  “Hmm?” I murmur sleepily against him.

  “I don’t know how I ever had the good fortune to find you.”

  ***

  When I wake up again, Ronan is gone. I suspect he probably had business in the city since that’s usually where he goes. But then I hear a noise coming from down the hall. I swear I might be going crazy because it sounds like a baby.

  I pad down the hall, following the sound of gibberish that’s coming through a cracked door. And when I open it, I find the last thing I ever thought I’d see in my entire life.

  Ronan and Lachlan are both hunched over a table, staring at the baby on top of it like they’re trying to work out a puzzle of some sort. Alexei is supervising from the side as is Daisy from down below.

  “No, see these little flips go like so,” Ronan says as he points at the diaper on the table.

  “I don’t think they do, Fitz,” Crow argues. “They don’t stay like that.”

  “Maybe you could tape them,” Alexei offers.

  I clear my throat from the door, and all three of them look at me like deer in the headlights. Ronan’s cheeks flush, and so do Lachlan’s. Something I never in a million years thought he was capable of. I just caught the boss and the underboss of the Irish mob blushing over a baby.

  “Um, guys…” I point at the half naked little boy laying on the center of the table. “You might want to do something about that before…”

  A stream of pee flies up into the air and hits Lachlan on the arm. He stares down at it with a bewildered expression and then him and Ronan are scrambling to put the diaper on.

  “Get me the tape,” Ronan yells out to Alexei like it’s a state of emergency.

  “Do you want some help?” I ask them.

  “No,” both of them say together. And then Ronan adds, “we need to sort this out on our own.”

  I stifle a smile and slip quietly out the door. Although I’d very much like to stay and witness the rest of the stooges in all their glory, I have a feeling Ronan is attempting to take this very seriously. He’s nervous about being a father. And the fact that he’s practicing with Lachlan is pretty much testament to that.

  Three hours later, I find him passed out in a chair downstairs with Daisy bundled up in his arms. Her head is lolled to the side, her tongue hanging out of her mouth while she snores against his chest. I retrieve my phone from my pocket and snap a photo of the moment before he can wake.

  And when I stare at the screen with a huge stupid smile on my face, this is how I know he’s going to be a good father.

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Sasha

  After what seemed like an eternity, Ronan has finally given us the all clear to go home. I’m nervous for a whole heap of reasons and I can’t even really figure out what they all are.

  Mack still doesn’t know about Talia. And even though I hardly saw her during my time at Alexei’s, I know she’s there. And I don’t want to lie to her about it. Lachlan hasn’t told her yet either, but at some point, one of us will need to.

  I’m quickly learning that the syndicate has a lot more secrets than they’d like anyone to believe. Some of those work out to our advantage. Although, I’d never wish ill on Niall, in a way I’m grateful he retired. Because it left the burden of punishment for Ronan’s betrayal up to Lachlan. And it’s safe to say that it’s pretty much been swept under the rug.

  But there’s also the small matter of dealing with the feds. Although Ronan assured me that it’s all been handled, they still need to interview me about what happened at that safe house. So the day we get back to Boston that’s where I spend the majority of the afternoon with my syndicate appointed lawyer at my side.

  They wouldn’t let Ronan come into the interview with me, but it wasn’t as bad as I thought. The lawyer handled almost everything, just as Ronan said he would. Since there isn’t enoug
h evidence to indict Ronan or I with anything, we are officially free to begin our life together.

  We’ve decided to have a small ceremony at Slainte just like Mack and Lachlan did. It’s strange that the place I thought I’d never want to see again is where I’ll be reciting my vows. But now that Ronan’s in charge there, I couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else. We’ll be surrounded by our friends and family. Which is exactly what the syndicate is. A family.

  The only person who won’t be there is Emily. When I told her I was marrying Ronan, she didn’t have much to say about it. I’m honestly okay with that. Em is living her life, and I’m living mine. She might not understand my choices, but I’ve come to terms with them, and that’s all that really matters.

  Ronan is my life. My breath. My sole reason for existing sometimes. I know it sounds insane, but it’s how I feel. We were put on this earth to find each other. And when he looks at me with those dark brown eyes like he’s doing right now, I know what we have is one of a kind. A supernova. A love so rare, so unparalleled, it shines brighter than any other in existence.

  He wraps his arm around me protectively and bundles me into the car, going so far as to reach down and buckle me in.

  I’m smiling up at him, and when he catches me, his fingers graze my jaw and he kisses me. I grab his head and kiss him back, getting really into it before he pulls away.

  “Sasha?”

  “Hmm?”

  “We have to go see about this baby,” he says.

  “Oh.” I glance at his watch and check the time. “Right.”

  Ronan shuts the door and walks around to the driver’s seat. He was relieved for all of two seconds upon leaving the interview, and now he’s nervous all over again. But I am too. We’re having our first scan today.

  I’ve already got a little bump. Time is slipping away from me, and there’s still so much to do. I have to get everything for a nursery and start doing some reading. Mack’s called me about twenty times freaking out because she read that her feet are going to get huge and never return to normal. Then she started telling me about the uterus stretching to the size of a watermelon. That’s when I told her to stop calling me.

  But now I’m all panicky and trying to stay calm for Ronan’s sake. I keep thinking about all the things Mack said and how she joked we might have to join the circus after. All I can picture is me morphing into something completely unrecognizable. Already, I feel huge and I’m paranoid Ronan’s going to think so too.

  Logically, I know I’m worrying over nothing. When he sees me naked, he’s all over me. Even more so than usual. He hasn’t said so, but I think he likes the sight of me pregnant with his baby. He tells everyone when we see them. He might as well be walking around with a banner that proclaims he got me pregnant.

  He pulls into the parking lot of the doctor’s office and cuts the engine. But before he can get out, I reach over and take his hand in mine.

  “I’m nervous,” I tell him. “I know you are too.”

  My hand trembles, and my voice is hoarse when I speak. “I’ve been trying to stay strong, because I know this whole thing really freaks you out. But I’m freaked out too, Ronan.”

  He frowns, and then pulls away from me, stepping out of the car. The dam almost breaks loose right then when I think he’s going to remind me that we have a schedule to keep. But instead, he walks around to my side and pulls me out of the car.

  He wraps his arms around me and kisses my face. I’m shaking with nerves and he’s completely cool and calm now. I didn’t expect that. Since we found out and his first reaction, I thought I would have to tread lightly the whole pregnancy. Give him information in little bits and never tell him any of my fears.

  But right now, this man holding me isn’t the same one who walked out on me that day. This man is my protector. Rock-solid and cool-headed and exactly what I need in this moment.

  “Sasha.” He murmurs between kisses. “Ye don’t need to handle me with kid gloves. It’s my job to care for and protect you. Always. If ye’re nervous, I want ye to tell me so. I might not have the right words, but I’ll try.”

  I shake my head and a few tears leak out of my eyes.

  “I know,” I tell him. “I should have just told you. I’ve just been worried that I’m going to freak you out if I say anything.”

  “I’m already freaked out,” he admits. “But I’m not going anywhere. I wouldn’t ever have any notion to. The only place I want to be is here with you. And I don’t think ye have any reason to worry. Ye’re going to do a grand job of this, I’ve no doubts about that.”

  “But Mack said we’re going to look like circus freaks,” I sob.

  Ronan frowns again and shakes his head. “That isn’t possible, Sasha. Ye’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the good fortune of seeing. That isn’t going to change. No matter how many babies I put inside of you.”

  “Then I’m going to be a bad mother,” I whine.

  “Sasha,” Ronan’s voice grows stern. “Ye’re stalling now.”

  “So what?” I argue. “I don’t want to go inside. I think I’m going to have a heart attack. Feel it. It’s going crazy in there.”

  I’m not lying about that. I’m right in the middle of a panic attack. I don’t know why, only that I’m so frigging nervous.

  Ronan leans down and cups my face in his hands. “Do the counting thing you do,” he says. “I’ll help if you want.”

  “You know about that?” I blink up at him as I clutch at my chest.

  “Aye,” he answers. “I know everything there is to know about you.”

  I’m still focusing on that little tidbit when he grabs my hand and tilts my chin up. “How does it go, exactly? Five things, right?”

  “Right,” I answer.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath, the scent of Ronan calming me a little.

  “Roasted pine nuts and malt liquor,” I whisper. “That’s you.”

  Another breath. I open my eyes and meet his, soft and steady and sure.

  “Dark chocolate.”

  I take another breath, and he kisses me again. When he pulls away, I can still taste him on my tongue. “Mint.”

  “Two more,” he encourages.

  My breathing has calmed already, and I feel better, but I like that he’s doing this with me. So I continue. The sounds of Boston are all around us. The cars and the people and the usual noise. But the only thing that resonates as I press my face against his chest is him. “Heartbeat.”

  Ronan takes our connected hands and moves them both over my belly, and he finishes the last one for me.

  “Our baby.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Ronan

  Over the course of my life, I think I’ve been in a doctor’s office only once. When I was still a young lad and Crow’s mammy forced me to go.

  I don’t like these places. They remind me of the dungeon in the basement at Slainte. The one where I handle the clients.

  That thought is only confirmed when I spot the table they want to put Sasha up on. I reach out and grab her arm to stop her, but then I remember how out of sorts she was in the parking lot. She doesn’t need my worries added to hers.

  When she glances back at me in question, I help her up on the table even though everything inside of me is screaming not to. Then I stand right beside her, so if the technician tries anything funny, she’ll have to contend with me.

  The nurse goes over some questions with Sasha, all of which I listen to with the utmost attention. I feel as though I should know these things. Or that I should have asked her myself, maybe. I make a mental note to ask her more about them later.

  They check a whole load of things I never thought to worry about before. Now I find myself wondering if she’s eating enough. Or carrying heavy things when I’m not around. I know she’s been taking baths. She could slip if I’m not there. Or burn herself when she’s cooking. I’m in the middle of sorting out a round the clock security detail when the technician comes
in.

  She instructs Sasha to lay back and smears some sort of goopy stuff onto her belly. It’s already round and I have a hard time looking away whenever I see it. I like knowing that my baby is inside of her. That I was the one who did that to her. I can’t imagine ever liking it with anyone else.

  But I want to see what Sasha and I made together. I’m staring at the screen impatiently when Sasha reaches for my hand. Her eyes are panicky again, and I haven’t a clue how to comfort her. But I try, just as I promised I would.

  I lean down and kiss her on the cheek which she seems to like. I do that a lot now. The technician smiles at us, but I don’t care. Because Sasha is mine. And I’ll do what I like with her.

  A noise comes on over the speakers, and both of us move our attention back to the screen as the wand glides over her belly.

  I see it. I see my baby. It’s just a wee fuzzy spot on the screen as the technician points out. But it’s there. And then there’s the heartbeat. Strong, like I knew it would be.

  The technician starts to speak, and Sasha does too.

  “Shh…” I tell them.

  Sasha blinks up at me and laughs. “Did you just shush me?”

  I clear my throat and my cheeks burn when I realize I did. “I just wanted to listen for a moment longer.”

  “You can listen as long as you like,” the technician says.

  So I do. I listen and take it all in. Memorizing every detail on the screen. When I finally look away, Sasha is smiling up at me. She doesn’t seem nervous anymore, and I’m glad.

  “Okay,” I tell the technician.

  She points out a few things on the photo and checks everything over. She says that she can’t yet tell if it’s a boy or a girl, but it makes no difference. Sasha has it in her head that she doesn’t want to know, and I agreed that was fine.

  I know it’s going to be a boy anyhow. It has to be. Because I haven’t a bloody clue what to do with a girl.

  She wraps up the session and slips out of the room, allowing Sasha a moment to get herself back together. But before she can, I lean down and kiss her. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. It can’t be helped, especially right here and now.