Bullied

by Vera Hollins

  I arrived at my desk, doing my best to ignore the continuous laughter and nosy stares. Just a few more minutes and the class would start. Just a little more and their attention would be directed elsewhere.

  I put my things down on the desk and sat.

  A second later, I crashed down when the chair gave out beneath me and broke into several pieces. My head landed hard on the floor, which sent an explosion of pain through my skull, and my vision went black for a few moments.

  I could hear the laughter through the haze in my head, and it bit at my mind, inducing more shame that intensified the pain. Natalie and a few others even picked up their phones and snapped the pictures of me sprawled out on the floor.

  “She actually sat there!” someone said.

  “She didn’t even notice it was broken!” I heard another one. “She’s so stupid.”

  “This was a great idea, Natalie! I’m posting this on Instagram!”

  She was heinous . All of this to hurt and humiliate me, and they all reveled in it, seeking it like their next meal. It was like I wasn’t a human being. It was like I didn’t deserve to live.

  Suddenly, breathing became difficult. My chest was constricting in pain, and everything was a blur. I felt like I was going to faint, and I truly hoped for that to happen.

  I hoped I could faint and finally escape this nightmare.

  Chapter 4

  I DIDN’T FAINT. I DIDN’T escape. I had to put up with my classmates laughing at me and taking my photos like I was an animal in the zoo. I stood up, on the verge of leaving and skipping class, but then Ms. Roberts came, and I had to explain what had happened. Everyone waited for me to snitch on them so they could give me hell later. Been there, done that. I’d lost my faith in teachers and the school administration a long time ago.

  “I wasn’t careful, so I fell. It’s nothing special. Faulty chairs happen.”

  “Are you sure you are okay?”

  “Yep.”

  “Are you able to stay in my class?”

  No matter how much I wanted to run away from this hole, I couldn’t. “Yes, Ms. Roberts. It wasn’t a big deal.”

  “Okay. I will call the school janitor and tell him to bring a new chair for you.”

  I couldn’t wait for the period to finish.

  After calculus, I went to my locker to get books for the next class and halted in horror when I saw Hayden leaning against it with his hands in his pockets and one leg crossed over the other.

  He’d become even more muscular during the last two months. His arms were corded with muscle, which bulged through his tight black shirt. They were perfectly honed and standing out just like his abs. I followed the various designs, shapes, and words of the tattoos he’d put on his upper arms last year, thinking how good they looked on him. They were completing his “bad boy” look, along with his earrings.

  The artist in me appreciated the fine contours of his face, the glint of his eyes that gave a mysterious depth to them, and the way the shadows accentuated his striking features that hid the inner ugliness. He was definitely the most beautiful boy at East Willow High and the cruelest guy I’d ever met.

  I considered running away, hoping he didn’t notice me, but I couldn’t do that for two reasons.

  1) I needed my art notebook and pencils.

  2) He noticed me.

  I was embarrassed and scared of him at the same time, my stomach feeling heavy as I approached my locker. The last time I spoke to him, I did something that was way out of my league—I defied him and made a fool of him in front of the whole school. The last time I saw him, he took my nude photos. He saw my naked body, and if that weren’t enough, he threatened to post my photos online for everyone to see. It was nauseating.

  I couldn’t even look him in the eyes. I stopped several steps away from him, but he didn’t move an inch, completely blocking my locker.

  “Hayden, can you please move so I can open my locker?” I was looking at his black Nike sneakers, silently pleading for him to move.

  He waved his hand in front of my eyes, trying to catch my attention. I dragged my gaze to his face and looked at the spot on his temple that had been scarred from the car accident. An inch-long scar was almost invisible now, perceivable only if someone knew about it, but it was quietly accusing me of my stupid mistake nevertheless.

  “I’m up here.” He pointed his thumb at himself. “Look at me when you’re talking to me, do you understand?”

  I blushed, and I cursed myself for not being able to prevent or control my chronic, excessive blushing at almost every single thing. I didn’t want him to see that he intimidated me. I couldn’t have an upper hand if he knew he could affect me that easily.

  I stared at his eyes that seemed so black now as he glared at me. His jaw was set in a firm line, his full lips unyielding.

  “Yes, Hayden.” I wanted to avoid confrontation at all costs.

  “Good. Now, hand me your phone.”

  My eyes bugged out, fear yielding cold in my limbs. “Why do you need my phone?”

  “Your phone. Now .”

  “I don’t want to give you my phone.”

  Without any warning, he grabbed my phone out of my front jeans pocket. I yelped, jumping back, appalled by his audacity.

  “What’s the password?”

  I crossed my arms on my chest and drew back a couple of steps. “No. Give me my phone back.”

  “Give me the password, or I’ll break it.”

  He couldn’t be serious. “I won’t give you my password!”

  I squawked when he let my phone slip out of his hand and fall. It hit the floor with a crash and careened off, ending a few feet away from us.

  No. He couldn’t be doing this! It was a cheap, used model I bought after Kay’s death to replace the phone I had with me during the accident, but it was valuable to me because it contained some of my art ideas, notes, and art photos I took these last two years. It was like my diary. It was a container of my interests and dreams. Besides, I couldn’t afford to buy a new one.

  Several students passed, casting us curious glances, but I knew better than to expect anything from them other than morbid curiosity. Once more, I wished there were cameras, but then again, would they make any difference in this rotten place?

  Hayden picked up my LG from the floor, and my heart sank upon seeing the broken screen. It was covered in a crack resembling the web, which now silently mocked me.

  “Oh, look. It’s still working.” His piercing eyes bore into mine, and shivers ran down my spine. “Next time, it won’t just slip. I’ll fling it away. So you better give me that fucking password.”

  I exhaled a shaky breath. “Password is my birthday. It’s 022—”

  “I know your birthday,” he interrupted me and entered four digits, unlocking my phone.

  I tried to ignore the fluttery sensation in my belly caused by his words. He knows my birthday... Why does he care to remember it?

  He kept swiping and tapping his thumbs over the screen, and each passing second brought more uneasiness.

  “Please, give me my phone back. What are you even searching for?”

  “I’ve been away for two months. That’s a plenty of time for you to meet someone, and since you’re stupid, I wouldn’t be surprised if you thought you could hang out with them.”

  “For crying out loud, do you really think you can invade my privacy like that and decide who I can hang out with or not? You have no right to interfere in my life!”

  Hayden lunged at me and backed me against the lockers. He slammed his left hand next to my face, making me flinch, and my breathing turned ragged. I was trapped, overcome with tension because our bodies were almost touching. I could smell the mossy scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of cigarettes, and it was distracting me.

  His nearness was too much. I tried to look down, but he didn’t let me, pushing my face up with his forefinger.

  “You keep forgetting you have no freedom. You can’t escape me or disobey
me. Remember what will happen if you disobey me, and trust me, you don’t want those photos to end up online. Besides, don’t think I forgot about what you did in the cafeteria two months ago. You’re going to pay for that.”

  I could hardly breathe, my pulse drumming. I hated him. How much longer did I have to suffer like this?

  One more year, Sarah, and then you’re off to college. You’ll escape Hayden. Just a bit more...

  “Now, as far as I can see, you have no male contacts here, and you better keep it that way. I don’t want to waste my time on them too.”

  “If you think you waste your time on me then stop torturing me! I’ll be completely out of your way. You won’t even see me—”

  “No,” he cut me off. “Remember this?” He pointed at his temple, and my stomach dropped. “It’s your fault that Kayden and I got into that accident. You deserve to suffer.”

  Our breaths mingled, mere inches separating our faces. I returned his heated gaze, unable to look away.

  “Actually, maybe I shouldn’t return this phone to you.” He tilted his head to the side, looking at the device in his hand with narrowed eyes. “One can never know with you. Maybe you’ll cause another car accident with it.”

  My throat closed up, my old scars bursting open, and it hurt more than anything. “Please, no more.”

  “No more? I barely even started. I won’t stop until you completely lose your sanity. You’ll be lost, hopeless, and broken, and every single breath will make you bleed. And that wouldn’t even be a fragment of how I feel every single day.” He tapped his scar. “That’s justice.”

  We kept staring at each other, unaware of the people around us. I couldn’t move.

  A few long moments later, he pulled away from me, breaking the chain that had held us together. I could finally release my breath, and the fist that had been squeezing my heart hard loosened its grip.

  He shoved my phone into my hand and strode away.

  I WENT TO ART CLASS and felt relieved to see there was no one I would have to keep my distance from. It was my most favorite class, and after the encounter with Hayden, I was more than glad to be able to have my full attention on studying instead of on my classmates or my depressing thoughts.

  As much as I enjoyed this class, though, it was challenging for me since Mr. Xiong wanted us to experiment with various techniques. I liked sketching and drawing with watercolors and watercolor pencils, but I struggled with other materials. I was interested in drawing people, trying to portray them as realistically as I could in different settings, but Mr. Xiong made us draw still nature or animals most of the time.

  The class passed too quickly for my taste. I dragged myself down the hallway that led to the cafeteria, wishing for a twist of fate that would send Hayden far away from this school.

  The lunchroom was packed with students when I joined the lunch queue, some of them staring at me as if I had three heads. I was sure that by now my fall had become viral. It made me queasy, and I didn’t actually have any appetite, but I had to eat something if I wanted to survive this day.

  I placed my food on the tray, thankful that nobody tried to do anything to me in line. The students kept whispering and snickering, but I was used to that already. They always made the same reaction, which added to my social anxiety, making me more susceptible to my inner demons, self-deprecation, and extremely low self-confidence.

  At least I could remain strong enough to go to my table and eat. Even though sitting alone plain sucked, it was better than skipping lunch.

  As soon as I sat down, facing the rest of the cafeteria, Hayden arrived with Blake, Josh, and Masen. Like usual, they attracted the most attention, and I could already see some girls speeding to their table to join them for lunch. I lowered my head, hoping Hayden wouldn’t remember to look my way.

  When I finally got the courage to raise my head and search for him, I found him sitting at his table already surrounded by girls, looking directly at me.

  Oh no. My stomach made a somersault, my face growing red and hot. He didn’t even blink or move a single muscle, staring me down. What was he thinking about?

  Several students around the cafeteria started whispering and pointing at something, and I turned my head to see what they were looking at. A short, chubby girl, dressed in jeans and a draped T-shirt, stood at the cafeteria entrance. I’d never seen her before. She had beautiful hair, which was long, straight, and sand-colored. She was so cute.

  Blake stood up and strolled over to her, his ruthless eyes sizing her up. The whole cafeteria went silent.

  “Well, you’re something new.” He grinned. “What’s your name?”

  She lowered her head and blushed, giving away her insecurity and shyness. Her timidity made her a perfect subject for torture, and I could see Blake sensing it like sharks could sense blood. I already knew he was going to do something, but what?

  “J-Jessica,” she said in a small voice. A couple of students laughed when she stammered.

  Blake didn’t even blink. “Jessica what?”

  “Jessica Metts.”

  “What’s that? I didn’t hear you. Jessica what?”

  “J-Jessica Metts.”

  “You mean Jessica Fats?”

  The fits of vicious laughter coursed through the air, and I felt cold fear as if I were the one standing there. I’d been through this same torture so many times that it felt strange I wasn’t the one who was experiencing it now.

  Blake’s crooked grin gave me the creeps. “Because you’re so fat, Jessie.”

  Jessica looked like she was on the verge of tears. She shrunk, giving the impression that she would run away any moment. I glanced at Hayden and saw him looking at them with no expression on his face. Christine, who was sitting next to him, caressed his hair idly, but he didn’t even pay attention to her. If he decided to join Blake, they were going to ruin Jessica and make her terrified of this place for the rest of her school life.

  Jessica spun on her heel, ready to dart away, but Blake grabbed her forearm and pulled her back. “Where are you going, Jessie? Do you want to miss your welcome party?”

  Oh God, no.

  “My welcome party?” Her voice was so thin, and I was curious to know if that was her natural voice or she sounded this way because she was afraid.

  “Yes.” He looked at the students around them. “What do you say, guys? Do you want to throw a welcome party for Jessica?” Everyone was so keen on doing what Blake had said, and it was heart-breaking. I felt like I was going to cry, scared to even imagine what would transpire in a few seconds.

  A “welcome party” was Hayden’s invention. It was about “greeting” new students by throwing food at them in the cafeteria. Several students would participate, surrounding the person and throwing food at them. It was like some twisted rite of passage, which marked the beginning of student’s abhorred existence in East Willow High.

  The lunch monitors didn’t care, and the cafeteria staff didn’t intervene, because Hayden had some stupid power in this school and always got away with his bad deeds. His mother was one of the benefactors of this school, so going after one of East Willow High’s most favored students wasn’t considered smart.

  He and his friends were highly protected, allowed to wreak havoc whenever they wanted and bully whomever they wanted. The school staff had never helped me and they wouldn’t help Jessica now. Not when we didn’t have any power or money.

  Blake stepped aside and, as if on cue, everyone began throwing their lunches at her. The first food projectiles ended right on her face. She raised her hands to protect it, making the rest of her body exposed to various sauces, fruits, and vegetables. It kept going, with some students taking pictures of it, and it was horrible just watching.

  Absolutely no one went to help her. She yelped whenever something hit her, and I wondered if she was hurt or not. I wanted to help her, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t do anything for her. If I did, I would become a target too, and I didn’t need any
more harassment today.

  Fear and shame twirled inside me, and my whole body felt like it was set on fire. It was adrenaline, which put my body in survival mode for what was about to happen next.

  I can’t go there... Please, somebody help her.

  I glanced at Hayden and winced when our eyes met. Surprisingly, he was staring at me, but there was no usual nothingness in them. Instead, there was fire. There was a challenge. A strange feeling I couldn’t name stirred in my chest.

  I returned my gaze to Jessica, who was now completely covered in liquids and food, hunched on the floor, crying. Blake still stood in the same spot, his lips twisted in a cruel smile as he filmed her with his phone. He probably planned to make it the next viral video of East Willow High.

  The food throwing didn’t stop. It always continued until the victim ran away, but Jessica looked so weak and small on that floor that I doubted she had any strength in her to get up and escape.

  I can’t go there...

  My chest tightened, a scorching pain suffusing it.

  I’m scared.

  Breathing felt like suffocating.

  Don’t be like the rest of them, Sarah. Don’t look the other way. Don’t be a coward.

  Somebody threw a carton of milk and it landed on Jessica’s forehead. The carton burst open upon the contact and the milk splashed all over her face. A small trail of blood oozed from her forehead, mixing with milk on its way down.

  No. This is so wrong. This is twisted. I don’t want to be a part of this. I don’t want to be a coward.

  I need to help her.

  I jumped out of my seat and stopped in front of her, extending my arms, shielding her from Blake and most of the students surrounding us.

  I faced him. “Stop this!”

  “What the hell are you doing?” Blake’s face was a mask of surprise and fury.

  “This is not okay! You’re hurting her! Don’t you see she’s bleeding?!”

  I looked over my shoulder to check if she was all right and met her terrified stare. Her face looked grotesque, covered in blood, milk, and food, and I hoped her wound wasn’t deep. She needed to see the school nurse double-quick.