by Vera Hollins
“Step aside, bitch.”
“No.” I was shaking in fear, expecting an attack from any side.
Blake marched to me and leveled his head with mine in a threatening way. His icy gray eyes and the vicious sneer terrified me, increasing my uncontrollable trembling. “You’re going to regret this.”
He grabbed a chunk of my hair and yanked it toward him, and I cried out in pain, my vision blurring with tears. Our bodies collided briefly before he pushed me to the ground, dropping my ripped out hairs from his hand. He gave a sign to others to throw food at Jessica and me, but everyone stopped in their tracks when the cafeteria doors opened.
“What is going on here?” Principal Anders rushed toward us, noticing Jessica and me on the floor. “Jesus Christ!” He crouched next to Jessica and touched her shoulder. She was so still. So fragile. “Are you okay?” he asked her, but she didn’t respond. The only sound that came from her was her weeping.
“She needs to see the nurse. She’s hurt,” I told him, standing up.
He jumped to his feet when he noticed the wound on her forehead. “Who is responsible for this?” Nobody uttered a word. I glared at Blake, but he just returned my stare, daring me to snitch on him.
Luckily, I didn’t need to say anything because it seemed that Anders connected the dots. “Jones, to my office.”
If Blake’s looks could kill, our principal would be a pile of ash on the floor already. “Why me?”
“Don’t play innocent, Jones. This is not the first time something like this happened, and most of the time you are involved.”
“That’s not right, Mr. Anders. I just happened to be here trying to help the girls. Is that right?” he asked some guys next to him and they—to my complete disgust—nodded.
“Either way, to my office, Jones. Now.” His voice left no room for argument, and I began gloating. “You too, Decker. I want you in my office now.”
I let my frown show on my face. I didn’t like the sound of it, but there was no escaping it. “Okay. May I take Jessica to the nurse first?”
“You may, but be quick about it.” He cleared his throat before he addressed the rest of the lunchroom, “Why are you still standing there? I want this mess cleaned right away!”
I dared a glance at Hayden. He was leaning back in his chair with the arms crossed over his chest, not paying attention to anyone but me. His fierce eyes reflected anger and surprise. Surprise at what? I was sure he was mad at me for intervening and opposing Blake, which I was going to be sorry for later, but what else was in his mind?
With a faint blush blanketing my cheeks, I helped Jessica stand, sensing her shivers. She was shorter than me, and for some reason, I wanted to hug her and make her pain go away.
I placed my arm around her shoulder. “Can you walk?”
“Yes.”
“Okay then. Let’s see the nurse.”
She just nodded, letting me walk her out of the cafeteria.
“Do you have any spare clothes?” I asked her when we reached the nurse’s office. Her pants and shirt were completely ruined. She shook her head, the movement sending viscid droplets from her dripping wet hair to the floor.
“Nurse will give you some towels to clean yourself, and I think she will let you go home for the day.” I looked away. I didn’t know what to tell her to make her feel better since I was never good with pep talks.
I was never good with making friends, period.
“Thank you.”
I returned her gaze. “Don’t mention it.”
“Seriously, thank you. What you did for me out there... I was so confused. So scared. I can’t believe this happened to me.”
“I’m sorry. They’re the worst.”
She shook her head again, outstretching her hand for a handshake. “I feel weird for meeting you like this but here... I’m Jessica Metts.”
Smiling, I shook hands with her. “I’m Sarah Decker. Despite the circumstances, I’m glad to meet you.”
“Does this... Does this happen a lot?”
No. It only happened to me and a few more people who had the misfortune to be declared losers. “Not really. It’s their stupid prank. They call it a ‘welcome party,’ but as you can see, it’s not welcoming at all.” I frowned. I wasn’t sure if I should tell her the whole truth.
She noticed my hesitation. “What?”
I averted my gaze. “Nothing.”
“Please, tell me everything. It’s okay.”
“Did you notice them holding their phones and filming you?”
She tensed, visibly gulping. “Yes?”
“Well, there are several private Facebook groups and profiles on Snapchat and Instagram that post the bullying content from East Willow High. People share those posts, like, comment and...” I sighed. “Make memes.”
Jessica looked shaken. She swayed, and I barely managed to grab a hold of her in time, afraid she might faint. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her this. It was too much to take in.
“Look, I’m sorry to keep you here. You really need to see the nurse now, okay? Please, lie down in her office and get some rest, okay?”
“Okay.”
“We’ll talk again tomorrow.”
“Okay. See you.”
I waited for her to enter the nurse’s office, disinclined to join Blake in the principal’s office. A few deep breaths later, I willed my legs to move, giving myself a pep talk that did nothing to abate my soaring apprehension.
ANDERS’S OFFICE WAS miniscule but thoroughly stuffed. It contained several cabinets, shelves full of books and papers, and his desk, which ate up all available space. This generated a fertile ground for claustrophobia. Two chairs were placed across from his, and they were so close to each other that I felt like my personal space was heavily invaded when I sat next to Blake.
Anders was a short, chubby man in his fifties with a bald spot in the middle of his head and prominent grays in his hair and eyebrows. His mustache was black, though, and I guessed he dyed it. His appearance didn’t inspire trust in me, but what I particularly disliked about him was the overconfidence that oozed from him. He acted like he owned this place, caring too little about the students and too much about his power and the “perfect” image of our school.
“Did Metts go to the school’s nurse?”
“Yes, she’s there right now.”
“Good. How is she holding up?”
Was he really asking me that? “She’s probably been better,” I said. Blake snorted.
“As I said to Jones before you arrived, such incidents are unacceptable in our school. I’m very sorry you had to go through that.”
No, you’re not. You never cared. How many times was I here as a victim of some vicious prank and you pretended like you weren’t actually aware of what was going on? All you care about is you and your school’s reputation.
“What are you going to do about it?” I asked him, fed up with authorities turning a blind eye on the victims of bullying.
“Pipe down, Sars,” Blake snarled, looking at me like he was going to choke me.
Anders ignored Blake’s jeer. “I’m going to make sure it won’t happen again.”
“And how are you going to do that?”
“You really do have a big mouth.” Blake’s voice contained suppressed fury. I glanced at his tightly-clenched hands on the arm rests, which were sporting raw scrapes on his now-white knuckles.
Everything about him intimidated me. He was the captain of our football team, and he had a very muscular build since he trained really hard. He rarely smiled; the ever-present ice in his eyes was outright menacing.
“Shut up, Jones. And you, Decker, watch your mouth. Don’t disrespect your principal.”
“Are you going to punish anyone?”
“For now, no.”
For now, no?
Oh my God. I was so furious.
I was so furious that, for once, I couldn’t control myself. I knew I would regret it later, but I needed to get it off my che
st now.
“What do you mean ‘For now, no’? People actually threw food at that girl and hurt her, and you won’t do anything about it?”
“Jones mentioned already it was all just a misunderstanding—”
“A misunderstanding?” I yelled, standing up, and pointed at Blake. “He started all that mess! He told them to throw food at her, all the while filming it! You can’t let him get away with this!”
Blake was so mad that his veins actually popped out on his temples, his eyes giving me a clear message: you’re dead.
“Calm down, Decker! I will talk with Jessica Metts too and try to clear things up, but I won’t push this matter further before that. If Jessica and certain witnesses can confirm it was Blake who started it, he will receive a proper punishment, of course.”
This was unbelievable. I stared at Anders first, then at Blake. Blake’s parents were rich—more than rich enough to buy Blake’s way out of trouble—and his father was the mayor. On top of that, they donated to East Willow High, just like Hayden’s mother. If Blake was punished, that could ruin the bright future of their heir, so of course they wouldn’t let anything happen to him.
I felt defeated. Principal Anders was a corrupt snake, and he wouldn’t move a finger to do what was right and protect his students. I was deeply affronted by this unfairness.
He dismissed us a while later, and we left his office in dour silence. As soon as we passed his secretary, turning around the corner, Blake grabbed me and pushed me against the wall in an empty hallway. Terror enveloped me when he pressed his forearm into my throat, making me unable to breathe properly.
“You just couldn’t shut up, bitch! No, you had to tell on me.” The pressure of his forearm increased, and it was becoming painful... “You’re messing with the wrong guy. You’ll be sorry for this.” He dropped his arm and stormed away.
I gasped for air loudly, sliding down the wall. I felt beyond miserable.
When does it end?
Chapter 5
I REACHED THE PARKING lot and stopped in my tracks when I noticed a crowd of students gathered near my parking spot. They were all looking at something and taking pictures. I willed my legs to move, hoping the crowd wasn’t there because of me.
As I got closer, I realized it was my parking spot they surrounded, and my pulse sped up. I’d thought I was finally free from hell after everything that happened today, but Yin—oh, that old fiend—was ever-present. I bypassed onlookers only to freeze when I saw my car.
No.
Someone had completely vandalized it. They had covered the doors, roof, and hood with various paints, but that wasn’t the end of my humiliation. The word “snitch” had been sprayed in large white letters all over my windshield, taunting me with its derogatory nuance, and it was too much. My classmates pointed their phones at me to capture my reaction, and for a moment, I was too tired to move or react. The voices around me grew louder.
“She’s so lame.”
“Look at that reaction! She looks like she’s going to shit herself!”
“Maybe she already did.”
Tears filled my eyes, but I refused to cry. I wouldn’t cry in front of them. I wouldn’t give them the pleasure.
“Snitch!” one guy shouted.
“Snitch!” the student next to him repeated.
“Snitch!”
“ Snitch! Snitch! Snitch!” Everyone started chanting, and it was more than I could handle. I needed to run away.
“Step aside!” I yelled at the students and pushed them out of my way, trying to ignore their goading shouts. I entered my car and slammed the door shut.
“Snitch!”
“Snitch-bitch!”
“You’re a freak!”
“Go and die already!”
I ran the engine, sickened by their brutal chanting. Two seniors stopped in front of my car and kicked the bumper.
“Get out of my way!” I screamed at them, pressing the horn twice, but they didn’t pay any attention to me.
I noticed Hayden and Blake watch this scene from afar, and I could clearly see the delight in Blake’s eyes. This was Blake’s retaliation. I was disconcerted by how easy it was for him to degrade me.
Tingles appeared in the back of my head and my heart rate accelerated as panic gripped me. I had to get out of here before I lost it. I pressed the gas pedal and released the clutch, making my car jerk.
“What the...?!” The guys in front of my car darted out of the way, afraid I would run them over, which was the whole point.
I started the engine again and sped up, finally getting out of here.
THE CAR SERVICE JOHNS’ Corner was one of the cheapest car services in Enfield. I used this service for two reasons. The first reason was the price. The second was that Mrs. Johns was one of the nicest ladies I’d ever met.
Mrs. Johns was in her fifties, always wearing flowery dresses that suited her plump body but were inappropriate for the car service. Her dyed black hair was usually collected in a ballet bun, and her russet brown face was covered with makeup at all times. Mr. Johns passed away many years ago, and they didn’t have any children, which could be the reason why she’d always treated me as if I were her daughter.
Every time I came here with my vandalized car she got furious, urging me to report my bullies to the school’s administration or the police. She had no clue.
I tried going to the police once. I went there when Josh Akers punched me in the face shortly after Kay died. They said they would investigate the case and called Josh and his parents, but in the end, they claimed I had no evidence that it was Josh who had done it. There were no witnesses, and it was my word against his. Josh’s father was a judge, and he had good connections in the police, so I wasn’t surprised at all that Josh was unscathed.
Needless to say, Josh doubled the torture he’d been inflicting on me ever since, so the moral of the story was that reporting my bullies to the police put me in even bigger danger.
This time, shame swallowed me whole when I got out of my car and took in Mrs. Johns’ shocked expression.
“Who did this?” Her voice was brimming with anger.
“It’s okay. Don’t worry. It’s just the paint.”
“For Christ’s sake, Sarah! This is a serious issue! This is a crime! Does your mother know about this?”
“No, but that’s okay. It’s pointless to make her worry. Besides, this can be solved quickly.”
“Nonsense! You act like you have no mother!”
I never talked about my mother with Mrs. Johns. Somehow, that topic was too sensitive for me, and I wasn’t ready to share my feelings about her to anyone. Whenever our conversation shifted to her, I would either skirt around the topic or give her a vague response.
I certainly couldn’t tell her my mother wasn’t giving me the money to fix my car. I was spending my own money.
I couldn’t afford luxuries for myself for two reasons. Firstly, I didn’t get much allowance from my mother. She had two wages, but those were barely enough to cover our bills, my school expenses, food, and her trips to bars. Secondly, my part-time job allowed me to save money for college and set aside a small amount I used for fixing things like a destroyed car, stolen or broken things, and so on.
Being bullied does take a toll on a person’s wallet.
“It’s really okay. That was just a stupid prank. You know how the school kids are these days...”
Mrs. Johns didn’t buy it, but she knew there was nothing she could do if I didn’t want to do anything about my bullies. She could only watch and fume with anger, but she couldn’t help me.
Nobody could pull me out of my miserable life and give me the love, respect, and security I needed.
Eventually, she dropped the subject. My phone buzzed, and I opened a message from my mom.
“Sorry, but I changed my mind. I’m already out. I won’t be home tonight, so you have to make something for dinner. See you tomorrow.”
Her message was the cherry on top after
a disastrous day. I felt so miserable that I just wanted to crawl into my bed and never wake up again. I turned my back to Mrs. Johns so she wouldn’t see my teary eyes.
This wasn’t something new. Mom was spending more time out during her free time, wandering from one bar to another. Then again, whenever she was home she was waspish, getting angry at every single thing, and it was draining my energy. So I didn’t know what was the lesser of two evils.
I couldn’t fall apart in front of Mrs. Johns. I sucked in my tears and put my best smile on before turning to her again. “So, what would be the price this time?”
We agreed on the fee, and she assured me it would be done by Thursday. I bid her goodbye and left the store, relieved that I managed to avoid my breakdown. For now.
I WENT TO 7-ELEVEN to buy groceries for dinner, the thoughts of the empty house that awaited my return invading my mind. This was one of those moments when I wanted nothing more than to have a friend to talk with. Each time I fell, Kay was there to pick me up, doing all he could to make me cheerful and less miserable. It was easier to battle my depression when I had him.
Kayden was the first person who accepted me and genuinely cared for me, and I was happiest with him. Our friendship felt too good to be true—it felt unreal that someone could be friends with me. In the beginning, I walked on eggshells, so careful not to ruin our friendship and lose the only true friend I’d ever had. If only I knew that Kayden would be taken from me in the cruelest way possible... I was so careful, yet I destroyed us in the end.
No, I didn’t want to go down that memory lane now.
I picked up two bags from the checkout counter and exited the store, ready to walk a few miles to my house. I was at the far end of the store’s parking lot when I caught sight of Hayden and Christine together on his Kawasaki, and I stopped, cursing myself for looking at my feet instead of my surroundings. Hayden had parked several feet away from me, so there was no way for me to pass them unnoticed.
Christine stroked his abdomen from behind, and my stomach churned at the sight of the two of them close like this. She whispered something into his ear, to which he half-smiled.
I wasn’t surprised they couldn’t let go of each other even after so many breakups, because they were the same. They were both vicious jerks who were determined to make my life hell, and I couldn’t stand the sight of them.