by Judy Carroll
Ben has chosen to be born into a standard but genetically upgraded Earth human container, to a mother who is also one of our own, incarnating for the span of a lifetime in human form. This being the case, there was no need for him to be removed from the womb at an early stage of the pregnancy in order to continue his development in vitro on the ship. His new body is human enough physically for him to be born naturally as an Earthling, but at the same time he needs to be brought on board regularly to master certain skills and learn to relate comfortably to both cultures.
Ben is a bright and lively lad, both ‘upstairs’ and ‘downstairs,’ and I love him dearly. As teacher and student we have a very close rapport, but it will take time for Ben to become fully aware of this link on the human level. Guardian and human consciousnesses will need to become closely integrated, which means all fear and insecurities that have been carried through the physical/emotional Earthling side of his being will have to be addressed and eventually cleared away. Once up on the ship and linked fully into the Guardian Consciousness, he’s fine with me, as he is ‘downstairs’ when we’re both in Earth human form, but trying to integrate the two is still posing a few difficulties.
The physical/emotional Earthling part of his psyche still reacts with fear whenever I put in an appearance in his bedroom at night in my ET form to take him on board the disc. Sometimes, even after his astral form has been safely collected, the physical container left behind continues to react emotionally. With his higher-conscious mind thus removed, Ben’s body’s reaction is involuntary, as if operating on automatic pilot. This results in the strange trancelike state that Kaz had described to Maddie.
To explain the situation very crudely, the vacated physical shell is rather like a chicken running around with its head chopped off. Luckily, Kaz herself is now well integrated as both a Guardian and an Earth human, and so she is able to handle the situation wisely and calmly, to make sure Ben’s physical container remains safe while the ‘driver,’ is away on the disc. However, in Ben’s case, he cannot yet fully step out of his vehicle — or at least it’s as if he steps out but forgets to apply the ‘hand brake.’
Again I sent out a mind probe. Where in the name of Oneness had the little devil got to? There are endless possibilities for mischief on the Mothership, such as taking up a position on one of the elevated walkways for the express purpose of dropping small objects onto the large, bald craniums of passing Elders. Or creating a skate-board for oneself out of the ethers then hurtling along the endless corridors at break-neck speed, trying not to collect pedestrians in the process. Then there’s the fun of suddenly poking a head, or else a long, thin, three- or four-fingered gray hand through one of the interdimensional portals to cause a stir with some poor unsuspecting person.
I chuckled to myself, remembering just such an escapade of my own that resulted in a large, balding and very overweight Earthling male running naked and screaming from the bathroom in which he’d been relaxing contentedly in a steaming tub while enjoying a glass of wine and a good book. The last thing he’d expected was a large-eyed ET face peering at him through the scented steam and bubbles. To tell the truth, I’m not sure which of us got the bigger fright.
A frantic call of distress from Ben suddenly telepathed into my mind, accompanied by waves of annoyance on a stronger, deeper level, which told me an Elder was involved as well. Oh, dear! What was Ben getting up to? That is the advantage, or in some cases the disadvantage of being linked into the Guardian Consciousness. Operating totally as One, we are intrinsically linked to each other on a telepathic level, so there are no secrets, no lies and no hidden thoughts. The group mind is like a deep but crystal-clear ocean in which all is open, visible and transparent, so we can see what is happening on all levels. And at that moment two of the levels connected to me were at odds with each other on the disc.
Scanning the ship again, what flashed into my consciousness was the ‘engine room,’ which is as close as it can be described in Earthly terms. Our discs are not powered by engines but rather by cosmic energy, and there is a power center like a main chakra point at the very heart of the disc. In fact, because the disc is actually a living organism, ‘heart’ is probably the most appropriate term to use — and that was where Ben had got to. No wonder he wasn’t feeling very comfortable, because the energy forces there are immense.
“Alarca, help!” the call came again, as I responded.
“It’s all right Ben, I’m coming — just stay calm.”
“I can’t — I’m being squashed! Help!”
Then a stronger, deeper voice commanded, “Alarca — get down here this minute and collect your student!”
Almost instantaneously I arrived on the scene to find a very annoyed Elder, in fact the very formidable black-clad ‘Captain’ of the disc, whose job is to ensure the smooth running of the ship and the safety of all who travel in her — or else! He was standing at the entrance to the power center waiting for me, dark eyes glaring, arms folded and foot tapping impatiently. Even though I’d managed to send myself backwards in time by ducking through a portal so as to arrive on the spot almost before he’d called me, I was still greeted with an irate “What took you so long? Get that boy out of here!”
Looking past him I could just make out a diminutive, scared and rather guilt-ridden figure hiding in the shadows. Sure enough it was Ben, in his gray container. Overcome in the middle of his escapade by the sheer pressure of the energy, he couldn’t move an inch, so great was the intensity of the atmosphere here in the heart center of the disc. Pushing through it with great difficulty myself I managed to reach him, intensely aware the whole time of the disapproving eyes of the ‘Captain,’ known to us as the Keeper, boring into me. “Come on, Ben,” I urged, reaching out to him, “take my hand — it’ll help you to move.”
Summoning every ounce of willpower and strength, Ben slowly did as he was told, inching the four long, thin fingers of his right hand towards mine as I in turn struggled to connect with him. It was like trying to move through a thick, viscous fluid — but once our fingers touched and our energies connected he was able to move, enabling me to pull him out of the area.
A fleeting wave of annoyance passed through my mind. Why hadn’t the Keeper done anything to help? Fair enough he was angry with Ben for going into places where he had no business being, but why hadn’t he come to the poor lad’s rescue?
“Because,” a powerful telepathic voice boomed in my head, “If I had, he really would have been hurt. He could not have coped with my energy on top of that of the Mothership. Now get out of here both of you — and do not come back!” The Keeper’s words reverberated through both our heads, sending us scuttling back along the corridor towards the slightly less daunting atmosphere of the classroom from which Ben had made his escape not long before.
“Why Ben?” I questioned him. “Why ever did you go into the power center in the first place? Nobody goes in there except the Keepers — not even the other Elders. Everybody knows how uncomfortable that much energy is, and how formidable the Keepers are. Whatever possessed you to go exploring there?”
“I dunno,” Ben shrugged absentmindedly, scuffing his foot on the floor, “just wanted to know how it works I guess, that’s all. Sorry if I got you into trouble, Alarca, but I was getting bored playing with the stupid energy balls. Keeping them up in the air and floating them around the room with my mind is nothing! I just wanted a bit of a challenge!”
“Yes, well, I’ll give you a real challenge if I find you down there again! Come on. Let’s get you back into your Earth human container before your poor mother runs herself ragged chasing it around the house trying to bring it out of trance. And speaking of wanting challenges, when the heck are you going to learn to incapacitate your container properly before stepping out of it?”
Again he shrugged. “I dunno — one of these days I s’pose. But you know what,” he added with a wicked grin, “chasing my body around the house gives Mom a bit of good, healthy exercise. Hey, Alar
ca, can we please stick our heads through a portal on the way home?
“Ben!”
“Well, it was just an idea.”
top/bot
Chapter 37 Boxes
“Ali, what the heck was Ben getting up to last night on the disc? He had one of his trances, and it started off with him running around the house like a mad thing, cowering under the bathroom basin and complaining that he was being squashed. He was absolutely terrified of something he saw in the doorway. What was going on? Who scared him? He was acting like all the demons in hell were after him.”
I couldn’t help chuckling at the image Kaz was describing so vividly as we sat over coffee the morning after Ben’s little adventure ‘upstairs.’ The two streams of reality were so similar and yet so different, both flowing along at exactly the same time. “He was running away from class and looking for mischief, if you really want to know,” I informed her. “Problem was, he found his way into the power center, and when I got to him he was being squashed almost flat by the strong energy field that’s present there. You know how it feels — really, really heavy, like a ton weight coming down on you.”
“But what was frightening him so? It wasn’t just that he felt he was being squashed — someone else was there too — someone he was really scared of.”
“Oh, it was just old Tammis, you know, the Keeper. He was the one who found him in the center and called me to come and get him.”
“Ah yes, he is a formidable old sod. No wonder poor Ben was scared. I mean to say, even when he’s in that trance state and sees me in my Grey form, he gets scared, so I can imagine how old Tammis would affect him.”
“Well, you’d better put a pillow case over your head for the next session, because we’ll be starting to open the door of his consciousness so he can go deeper within, which will bring him face to face with all sorts of things that can be quite unsettling.”
“But Ali, he’s so young still in human years! Can’t we wait ‘til he’s a bit older? We never used to go into that process with them until much later.”
“Yes, I know Kaz, but the whole problem is time is running out, and our young ones need to be brought on line much more quickly now. We just can’t delay things any longer. It needs to be ‘all hands on deck’ as it were.”
“Okay, fair enough. I do know what you mean, but please let me know beforehand so I’ll be prepared. I’m lucky to have a couple of others assisting me ‘upstairs’ with the hybrid babies, because when Ben goes off in these trances, I have to get back down here and into my container to help him. There’s no way I can just leave him to cope on his own. I trust you to take care of him up there, but down here he needs his mom at those times. By the way Ali, speaking of moms, have you heard any more from Maddie?”
“Ah, that’s right; I knew there was something I had to tell you. Don’t know what’s happening with my memory lately, I can’t seem to retain anything. Must be trying to work between two different streams of consciousness — it gets me in an awful tangle at times. But yes, she’s coming to the presbytery on Thursday morning to talk about something else that’s happened. Is that okay for you? Can you come?”
“Umm, hang on, I’ll check.” Kaz got up to look at the calendar on the wall that served as her “appointment book.”
“Let’s see now — Kira’s sports day is Wednesday, and parents are invited, so I’d better be there or I’ll never be forgiven, and café duty is on Friday — Oh, God, what a week! But yes, Thursday morning is fine. Lucky it’s not in the afternoon, because Ben has a dental appointment.”
Thursday morning began in a rush because right after early Mass, Paco was called to the local hospital to attend to one of his parishioners. He got back just before Kaz and Maddie were due.
“Now remember,” I told him, “don’t bring the brandy bottle out no matter how upset Maddie is. Kaz is really sensitive to it, and more than a mouthful or two will have her swinging off the chandelier. You know how we are — our energies just can’t take much alcohol, especially spirits.”
“Oh, God yes, thanks for reminding me, and you’re not much better by the way. You totally embarrassed me having dinner at the Kelly’s the other night with your hand-farting demonstration after one too many rum and cokes. Where the hell did you learn to do that? Up on the disc I’ll bet!”
“No, brother dear — you taught me, many moons ago. Surely you remember, but no, perhaps not because I do believe you were drunk at the time!”
“Well,” came his reply as quick as a flash, “I am only human after all — but what’s your excuse?”
Maddie arrived at the Presbytery right on time and at first glance, we were all stunned at the change in her appearance. She was certainly still stressed about her family’s involvement with the ETs, but as she filled us in on the latest happenings in her home we were amazed at the confidence that she’d acquired since our last visit. We all felt we must be on the right track with her.
“Kaz,” she began, “you know those funny trancelike dreams that Ben gets? — Kate had one too the other night — I feel there’s an important message of some sort in it. It started with her calling out to me, and when I went in to her, she told me she could see these really small boxes all around the bedroom, and she had to count the gaps between them, but this was upsetting her, and she complained of feeling scared and dizzy.
“I sat awhile with her, wracking my brains trying to work out what these boxes were all about, and how best to help her move through it. Then the thought came to mind to ask her what she was supposed to do with them, and she said, ‘Make them bigger, but I can’t — I’m scared!’ I asked her why she was scared and she answered that their energies felt awful and that they were still making her feel giddy.
“I remembered your advice, Kaz, to tell her how in a dream she has all the power to be whomever she needs to be, or to do whatever she needs to do, so if she must make the boxes bigger, then she can.”
“Good for you!” Kaz congratulated her. “So what happened? Did it help?”
“Yes, for sure! I reminded her that she had the power to do what was required — and I assured her that she was not alone, that I was right there with her. I told her to just give it a go, to really concentrate, and to know in her heart that she had the power to do it. As I pointed out to her — who knows what will happen? It might even be fun!
“Then she opened her eyes a bit and moved her arm up to point to them. Her hand dropped, and I could see her really concentrating hard. I asked her what was going on and could she still see them. She answered, ‘Yes, they look like little TV sets, and now they’re getting bigger — they’re all around my room.’
“I asked her what she was supposed to do with them now, and I suggested that maybe she could turn them into something nice, like flowers or butterflies, but she said that she couldn’t do that. Next I suggested she try to go inside one of them. I reassured her that I was right there with her and that she’d be safe, so again she concentrated hard, with her eyes closed, and she found herself in a dark room, feeling scared because she could sense something negative around her — what she called a bad spirit.
“I then reminded her of what we’d talked about before when she was scared — of how love conquers all. I told her that love is her power, and that she’s much stronger than any bad spirit and that it can’t hurt her. I explained how bad spirits feed off fear and are strengthened by it, and when they see you’re not afraid of them and instead you are full of love and have trust in yourself and God, then they go away because they know you’re stronger than they are. And you know it was really weird the way the words were flowing so easily. I’m sure I was getting help from ‘upstairs’ as you say.”
“Good on you Maddie!” Kaz reached out to pat her hand, “That is exactly how it is! So what happened next?”
“Well, I suggested to Kate that perhaps the bad spirit needed a hug. That maybe it was more a sad spirit than a bad spirit. I told her to just give it a try and to remember that love is h
er power and to have faith and trust in herself. At first she said the spirit was trying to run away from her in a funny way with its arms bent and held close to its body and its wrists sort of loose and flapping, rather like how a penguin runs, but then it turned around and came towards her. Again I reminded her of love being her power, and urged her to hug it — to direct love towards it, which she did.
“Then the bad spirit hugged her back and disappeared completely, and she found herself back safe and sound in her bedroom. Coming out of the trance, she threw her arms around me for a cuddle, and I told her how very proud I was of her, and how I knew she could do it because she’s strong and good. And that’s it — five minutes later she was sound asleep. So what do you reckon it was all about?”
“Wow, what a dream!” Paco shook his head in amazement. “Makes mine seem tame and boring in comparison. But there’s obviously heaps of symbolism in there. Anyone got any ideas? Kaz? Has Ben ever had anything like that?”
“No, not quite,” she answered, “but my daughter Kira did once. Not exactly the same, because in her case the ‘bad spirit’ had a purple ball it was threatening to throw at her, and she was told that if it hit her, it would steal her soul and she’d die. Luckily by then I was in touch with ‘upstairs,’ and understood enough to know that it was a test of love and courage for her, and that she was not to run away but rather to catch the ball and throw it back. She managed to do this, with a bit of reassurance and encouragement, and as in Kate’s experience, the whole thing just dissipated once she overcame her fear. After it was all over, her Grey teacher appeared on the scene to congratulate her and to tell her how pleased he was with her. She felt very good after that, and it’s served to boost her self-confidence no end.