Ice: Part I

by Penny Hawking

  “Vagina.” Ice corrected.

  “Pussy, vagina, same thing, anyways while you were surely going to get fucked, his cute little innocent brother walks in and catches you two.” Joanna said.

  Ice groaned. “Whenever you recount stuff, it always comes off ten times worst.”

  Joanna laughed. “You are my mother-fucking hero. You see. What did I tell you Maddie? She had it in her all along, before we know it, she’s going to be fucking with the windows wide open.”

  Ice groaned as her friends laughed.

  Tell me more

  “Everything is so much better when the fair comes to town!” Maddie laughed whirling around in a circle as we walked out of the entrance.

  The group of friends laughed.

  Ice wrapped her arms tighter around Peyton’s waist as they kept walking. It was a bit difficult because the teddy bear he was holding was big and hitting her arm, but she didn’t care.

  Jo and Tyrone had stopped momentarily to share a very passionate kiss. Nobody asked and they didn’t offer up any explanation. These past two weeks they’d been publicly cozy and affectionate.

  “Thanks for the free tickets again Randy.” Maddie leaned against the ticket booth beaming.

  Randy blushed and pushed his curly raven black hair out of his face. He adjusted his white rimmed glasses and beamed at her. “You’ve really improved in math. You deserved a break.”

  “I just had a great tutor.” She winked at him.

  His smile shook as he took a deep breath. The blush raising up in his tanned cheeks.

  Maddie leaned even more into the booth. Her arms across her chest, emphasizing her breasts in the low-cut shirt. Randy did not drift his eyes any lower than her nose.

  “What else are you good at Randy?” Maddie purred.

  Ice and Peyton looked at each other and grinned. She lifted her Twizzler to his mouth and he bit down on it before she also bit down on it happily. The couple kept walking a little further from their friends and sat on the bench. Maddie was still flirting with Randy. Jo and Tyrone were still in sight but still kissing like there was no tomorrow.

  “I can’t believe you’re scared of merry-go-rounds.” Ice snorted as she ate more Twizzler.

  “It’s the scariest ride ever invented.” Peyton protested.

  Ice laughed loudly.

  “Have you seen those horses’ eyes?” He demanded.

  Ice threw her head back.

  “Those things want you dead! Up and down, round and round…it’s a ride from hell.” He chuckled watching her laugh harder. Tears coming to her eyes. “You’re laughing at my pain babe?”

  Ice shook her head. “No no no….you’re right….you’re right. Dangerous ride…..extremely dangerous….little kids are completely insane to go on it.”

  “Fucking delusional.” Peyton added.

  Ice laughed again before leaning in and kissing him soundly. Peyton moaned into her mouth and kissed her deeply. He grabbed her hips.

  “You want to come over?” He whispered wrapping his arms around her. “Mom, and the rugrats won’t be back ‘till later.” He licked his bottom lip. “We’ll have the house to ourselves.”

  Ice felt the pitter-patter of her heart. It had been two weeks since they’d almost had sex. And they really hadn’t had any time alone or any opportunity to try again.

  Ice smiled and opened her mouth.

  The loud honking of the car caused her to whip her head around. She pulled herself away from Peyton and shot off the bench. “Mom?”

  Melissa adjusted her sunglasses and straightened up. “Get in the car, we’re going home.”

  “What….what are you doing here?” Ice asked walking towards her.

  Peyton stood up and Melissa tilted her head slightly.

  “Evening Mrs. Johnson.” Peyton stood behind Ice.

  Melissa slowly moved her head up and down but didn’t answer. She opened the driver door and got in. “Get in the car.” She called out the open window.

  Ice sighed and turned to Peyton. “Sorry.” She whispered.

  “Don’t go. Stay, I’ll drop you home.” He caressed her arm.

  Ice sighed again and shook her head.

  The loud honking jolted her, and she quickly rushed to the bench and grabbed her teddy bear. “I’ll see you at school okay.” She whispered apologetically.

  “You don’t have to do everything your mom says.” Peyton said in annoyance. “You’re hanging out with us. Just stay.”

  Ice leaned over and kissed his cheek and reluctantly turned around. “I gotta go.”

  Peyton huffed as he watched her walk away. His eyes drifting over to the white Bentley in front of them. He watched as Ice put the teddy bear in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat. He clenched his jaw as he watched Ice and her mother make a U-turn.

  Melissa looked out her window. Even with her sunglasses on, he could see she was staring straight at him in hatred. He rolled his eyes and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he watched them drive away.

  **

  “Can I ask you something?”

  Ice looked up from her math homework in surprise. “Yeah what’s up?”

  Peyton sat across from her. His history book opened in front of him, but he hadn’t so much as looked at it yet. They’d been at the library for almost half an hour. Peyton took a deep breath and looked around. He didn’t have to, they were the only two people in this section. “Remember two weeks ago?”

  “Two weeks ago?”

  “In---my, my basement….in the home theater.” He whispered.

  Ice smiled and nodded.

  “Did you like it?” He asked carefully.

  Ice stared at him in surprise. “Yeah.” She whispered and giggled. “Yeah, yeah of course, I did.”

  “Really?”

  She giggled in confusion. “Yeah.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” She whispered. “Why? Why are you asking me that?”

  He looked her over and leaned back with a shrug. “I don’t know.” He whispered and sighed looking past her shoulder.

  “Peyton.” She nudged his arm.

  “You just…you just haven’t giving any indication that you would want to do it again.” He mumbled avoiding her eyes. He shrugged again. “I don’t know, maybe you didn’t like it.”

  “I do want to do it again.” Ice whispered.

  Peyton’s eyes landed on hers.

  She blushed. “We could put more than the tip in.” She whispered before burying her nose in her math book.

  Peyton nervously chewed on his bottom lip. “Am I forcing you?” He asked uncomfortably. He rubbed his arm.

  Ice looked up in confusion. “No….no you’re not…why are you asking this?”

  “Because I want it so much.” He groaned. “And I feel like I’m always talking about it.” He shook his head. “And I think, you only want it cause I want it and yeah I do want it, but I want you to want it to….” He groaned and covered his eyes. “As badly as I do…but if you don’t, tell me. I’ll shut the fuck up.”

  Ice smiled. “I want to have sex with you.”

  Peyton chuckled and shook his head.

  “I’m excited to have sex with you. Real sex…not just the tip.” She smirked.

  Peyton grinned. “I’m also head over heels for you, you know that.” He whispered with a smirk.

  Ice looked back up and smiled. “As am I, Mr. Stone.”

  He stared at her for a couple seconds.

  “What?”

  “If I asked you to marry me, would you?” He asked quietly.

  Ice’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “I mean not now…but you know in the future and stuff, after we graduate from college or whatever.” He said quickly when he heard the panic in her voice.

  “How do you know we’ll be together after college or even during college?” Ice asked reaching for his hand over the table. She put her hand on top of his.

  “What? Tired of me already?”
He joked but stared at her intensely.

  “Nope just surprised you’re not tired of me.” Ice smiled.

  “I could never get tired of you.” He answered truthfully. Peyton stood up and walked over to her side. He bent down and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “I love you.” He whispered as he sat in the empty chair next to her.

  Ice stared at him, and then looked down at their hands.

  Peyton dislodged their fingers and put his hand on his thigh. He sighed and rubbed his head. “You scare the shit out of me when you do that.” He said quietly.

  “Do what?”

  “That. That not talking, responding….far off look.” He answered. “You do that all the time.” He sighed. “You make me nervous.”

  She sighed also and rubbed her hands together. “We just don’t know what the future holds Peyton.”

  “That’s why you haven’t said anything about coming with me to California?” He asked seriously.

  Ice shook her head. “My future is not---

  Peyton took her hand and held it tightly. “We make our own future Iceria.” He said seriously. “We just have to be willing to fight for it.” He whispered. “Even if we gotta fight your mom. She’s the reason right?”

  Ice knew her heart was beating abnormally fast.

  “I’m willing to fight with you.” Peyton said.

  “Why?”

  Peyton stared her straight in the eyes. “Because I love you. You have something in you that nobody else has. You’re beautiful inside and out.”

  “Peyton…” Ice whispered in shock.

  “My dad always said the key to his success was having an eye for the extraordinary and holding on to it.” His thumb caressed the back of her hand. “ You’re my extraordinary just like mom was his. I’ll be a fool to let you go, and I may be dumb sometimes, but I ain’t a fool.” He squeezed her hand gently. “I want to be with you.” He whispered. “For a long time.” He looked her over gently. “I really love you Ice.”

  Ice took two deep breaths. “Oh my God. Peyton….I….”

  Peyton smiled at her sadly. His grey eyes dark. He put a finger over her lips. “Ssshhh…you don’t have to say anything about that. The issue is I’m not trying to tell you what to do. I’m just saying you can’t be your mom’s puppet for the rest of your life.” He whispered. “Don’t let her control you. We got a few months left of school….” Peyton stared at her seriously. “Why aren’t you telling me what schools you’re applying to?”

  Ice stared at her math book.

  “Better yet….” Peyton continued. “Why haven’t you applied?”

  She closed her eyes and opened them slowly. “I….I don’t….” Ice sighed and blinked rapidly.

  Peyton spoke up. “But you can’t let your mom dictate every single part of your life like your future, where you live, what college you go to. Who you love---”

  “You don’t understand.” Ice cut him off.

  “Then make me understand dammit!” He demanded. “You’re scared of her. She’s controlling and manipulative. She runs you. You’re going to be 18. You have the right to make your own decisions. To do whatever you want. Go where you want. Have a life.” He insisted. “Have a life with me.” Peyton held her hand tightly. “I swear….I’ll take care of you.” He whispered passionately. “Come with me. Come with me Ice.”

  Ice looked down and closed her eyes as if in pain. “She won’t let me….” Her voice trembled.

  “Fuck her.” Peyton whispered passionately.

  “I can’t….we…can we…..can we not talk about this?” She begged. “Not now.”

  Ice pulled her hand out of his and sighed. She stared at her math book but had long forgotten what she was doing.

  Peyton sat back in the chair and stared at her. He was pushing her too hard. He was anxious. Ice made him nervous. She made him nervous because he didn’t know. With her, he just didn’t know. As much as they were opening up, she was still holding back so much of herself. He felt he couldn’t completely reach her and that scared him. That scared him because now he was attached. Now he wanted more, and fuck if she pulled away, it would affect him. If would affect him a lot. If she didn’t want to go to California with him, he didn’t know what he’ll do. He’d already started planning. He had it all figured out for them two. He loved her. They should be together. And if she loved him like she said, then that means she’ll stick around right. He pushed away his anxiety. Open up. Open up more. Let her know how serious you are.

  He sighed and took a deep breath. “You know, when I first saw you in 10th grade, I was like ‘Who the fuck is she?’” Peyton said smiling. “We had NSL together, but so did Maddie and Jo and you never left their side.” He shook his head. “But that was good though.”

  “Why?” She asked looking back up at him.

  “I was still a fucking mess and besides, you’re way out of my league.’” Peyton admitted.

  “No, I’m not. You should have said something.” Ice said in surprise.

  Peyton chuckled. “I did…I asked you to the freshman/sophomore dance and you rejected me.”

  Ice’s mouth dropped open. “I thought you were joking! All these girls came to ask you and you said no…so I didn’t think you were serious…I mean I don’t know…I didn’t know you...” Ice said. “If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t allowed to go.”

  Peyton smiled. “Yeah, I didn’t see you there.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Besides, I got you now. No biggie.”

  “We could have been together all these years if you’d just told me.” Ice said.

  Peyton’s smile disappeared and he was serious again. “We all have our insecurities.” He brushed her bangs out of her face. He swallowed hard and rubbed her knee. “Right Ice?” He whispered.

  Ice looked away from him and stared at the floor. They sat in silence for a couple minutes with Peyton gently rubbing her shoulders.

  “I wish we could run away you know, just run away somewhere…where no one would find us or bother us, and then we could be happy. You know like on one of those deserted Islands.” Ice said softly speaking up. “I would run away with you if you asked me too.”

  “You shouldn’t run away.” He said seriously. “Fight. Confront her, let her know you’re not going to put up with her controlling you.” He squeezed Ice’s hand. “My dad ran away. He stopped fighting.” His voice broke.

  At the sound of his voice, Ice hugged him hard. She wrapped her hands around his neck and brought her face just inches from his. “Peyton.”

  Peyton wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll go anywhere with you Ice. But we’re not running away. You gotta fight. And then everything will be okay.”

  Ice didn’t answer as she shook her head. “Peyton---” Tears filled her eyes. She wanted so much to trust him and believe that everything was going to be alright. She couldn’t. “We won’t win this one.”

  Peyton rubbed their noses together. “Trust me. I’m not gonna lose you Iceria. Trust me.” He whispered. “I’ll die before I let anything happen to you.”

  Ice took a couple shaky breaths. She was grateful they were the only two people in this section because she felt the warm tears on her cheek. Peyton rubbed them away gently and she closed her eyes.

  “I didn’t apply to colleges because it seems farfetched for me to think I can ever leave her side.” She whispered crying. “I haven’t said anything about California because---because-----” She wiped her face and tried to stop herself from crying. She wiped her nose and refused to look in his direction. Peyton watched her carefully. His hand rubbing her back. “Because it’s too good to be true. And every good thing in my life doesn’t last….because…because there’s something wrong with me...and I’m cursed and my mom…” Her bottom lips trembled as she tried to control herself. “Sh-sh-she….” Ice bit down on her bottom lip and closed her eyes.

  “I’m sorry.” Peyton whispered.

  “I was put in a mental hospital when I was six or seven.” Ice conti
nued slowly. “I wouldn’t stop screaming. I hated the nighttime; I hated the dark, that’s when my screams intensified. Even when I lost my voice, I screamed.”

  “Was it cause of the fire?” Peyton asked cautiously.

  Ice nodded and he didn’t press on. But she couldn’t seem to continue.

  “My dad hated drugs with a passion. If there’s anything in the world he despised it was drugs and how they hurt people and altered them. His mother died of a heroin overdose when he was 15. His dad was an alcoholic. His family was wealthy so of course everybody thinks they died of natural causes.” Peyton took deep breaths. “Remember how I said, after stealing that I started other stuff?” Peyton asked painfully.