EXPOSED: A novella (Elkridge Series Book 5)

by Lyz Kelley

“I want to kiss you,” he said, more out of a need to keep holding her than anything else.

  “Then why don’t you?”

  “’Cause I don’t know if I’m what you want.”

  “How do you know what I want?”

  “I don’t unless you tell me. Yet I’m almost afraid to hear what you might say.”

  “You? Afraid? I doubt that.”

  He gently cupped her neck, his thumb resting softly against her pulse. The double-time beat pounded against his skin. At least he had some kind of effect on her. “Why? Because I’m a Marine?”

  “You’re trained to combat your fears.”

  “I’m a man first.” Disappointment seeped into his heart. “That doesn’t mean I don’t have fears.”

  She tilted her head to a slight angle. “Kiss me, then.”

  He brought his lips gently to hers, but the moment skin touched skin, that spark ignited, and what little resistance remained evaporated. She moaned first this time, and opened her mouth, seeking more. Both of her hands cradled his head and pulled. He was captured. The sweet torture—magnificent. When she threw her head back, he trailed kisses down her neck to her collarbone, and then gently, reluctantly broke off the engagement.

  “Dale?”

  He brushed a thumb over her lips to wipe away the wetness. “Have a good night, Gwen. Get some sleep.”

  “Aren’t you coming in?”

  He closed his eyes. He wanted her naked. Splayed in front of him. Open and wanting. But not until she’d figured out what she wanted.

  He considered telling her about meeting her father tomorrow, but she’d run. If there was any chance of building a relationship, she must face her past. Otherwise, there wouldn’t be a future. At least not with him.

  “No, not tonight. How about I pick you up for breakfast tomorrow? Say, around seven thirty?”

  “Sounds perfect. We can get started on the sketches for the new house. After that, maybe do some target practice, or perhaps you can show me some of the defense moves we didn’t get to tonight.”

  “Tomorrow, then?”

  He released her and stepped back, watching until she unlocked the door and stepped inside. God, he so wanted to follow her in, but he had to be strong. And he couldn’t convince himself she’d forgive him for setting up the meeting with her father. Love didn’t always fix what was broken. He knew that better than most.

  This time, he needed to be fearless—fearless enough to let her go.

  Chapter Nine

  Dale barely touched his egg-white omelet.

  Since picking her up, he’d been acting odd, fidgety. Even when they walked into the River Creek Café, he’d waved only to Harold and Bill. He didn’t walk over to shake the veterans’ hands or chat about the weather like he normally did. Plus, he selected a booth in the back, out of the center of activity. He positioned himself in the typical direction—his back against the wall, facing the door.

  “What’s up with you?” Gwen nudged her foot against his to get his attention. “You’ve pushed your potatoes around your plate so many times I’m beginning to bet on which tater will win.”

  “Sorry. I’m a little distracted this morning.”

  “Anything you want to talk about?” Like our amazing drop-off kiss last night?

  Dale tapped the edge of his coffee cup with his fingertips. “I was thinking about how lucky I am. A little over a year ago, I was on my way home. I didn’t know what I would find when I got here. I was about to break a promise I made to my wife before she died. My home was about to go into foreclosure. And my daughter hated me.”

  Gwen wiped her mouth with her napkin. “See? It worked out.”

  “Like I said, I was lucky. If it wasn’t for Ashley’s willingness to forgive, I wouldn’t have the life I have today.”

  “She’s an incredible woman.”

  Dale’s shoulders suddenly pushed back, his muscles tightening. He looked like a driver preparing for impact with a tree. His lips pinched, and the skin on her arms tingled in warning.

  “Good morning, Gwen.”

  She swiveled to look at her father, and then her glare turned back to Dale. “Is this what your little speech was about? Me forgiving my father?”

  “Gwen.” He reached for her wrist, but she pulled away. “This might be your last chance to talk to your father. Don’t let your past experiences with your parents generate a future filled with regrets.”

  The men in her life were persistent. She had to give them both credit for that.

  “The only regret I have is trusting you. How could you set me up like this?” Was she destined to be alone? It sure seemed that way. Every man she ever cared for betrayed her.

  “This is my fault.” Her father dropped an envelope onto the table and slid onto the booth seat beside her.

  Gwen bristled. “Let me out. I’ll crawl under this table if I have to.”

  Her father turned. “Don’t blame General Bryant. I wanted to see you, Gwen. To ask for your forgiveness. Is that such a crime?”

  Forgiveness. What a complicated word.

  “What is it you want my forgiveness for? Choosing your work over me? Never being around when it mattered? Thinking money could buy your happiness or a daughter’s love?” She plastered her body against the wall. “I can’t forgive you, because I decided long time ago that you don’t matter. I remember distinctly the day I turned fourteen. Do you remember, Father?”

  His eyes searched hers. Then he nodded, signaling her to continue.

  “For my birthday, you were supposed to take me to New York for Fashion Week, and the next week you scheduled some visits. For months, I’d planned which designers I wanted to see. You even pulled some strings to get a tour of the Oscar de la Renta studios. You called the trip our father-daughter outing—you and me in New York for a full week. No phones or emails or meetings. You promised.

  “I was waiting by the front door, bags packed, tickets in hand, when a town car pulled up the drive and your office assistant got out of the back. I knew then you weren’t coming, even though she assured me you would meet us at the hotel in New York. The next morning, I made a decision. Do you know what that was?”

  “No, I don’t.” Zell tap-tap-tapped his index finger on the table. “Why don’t you tell me?”

  “I made the decision not to wait. I went to my engagements. I took the tours. I talked to the design interns, and somewhere during the week, I realized I didn’t need you or Mom. I could survive on my own.” She studied the proud man. “So you see, I can’t forgive you. Or love you. Or trust you…because the truth is I don’t know you. When I look in the mirror, I see your nose and your chin, but that’s all. I have no other connection with you, and frankly, I don’t want to have a relationship. Let’s face it, Father, we have nothing in common but our DNA, and that’s not enough.”

  Her father cleared his throat, and for the first time, his eyes glazed with emotion. He picked up the envelope and set the thick packet in front of her.

  “In there, I’ve included a letter, my will, and a few more instructions.”

  She pushed the envelope back toward him. “I don’t want your money. In fact, I don’t want Grandpa’s money, either.”

  “Read the letter, Gwen, that’s all I’m asking of you.”

  Part of her wanted to take the letter out of the envelope and shred his reconciliation attempt into tiny little pieces, but that would mean she carried some bitterness, resentment, or some other feeling she’d sworn she would never feel again when it came to her parents. Feeling such things would mean that she cared. And she would never, ever care about the two people who’d never been involved in her life other than to use her as a pawn in their power plays.

  Her father slid from the booth, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a business card. “Here’s the name of my physician.” He held the card out for her, and when she didn’t move to take it, he laid it on the table.

  For a second, she wondered what could be so terribly wrong. He looked so he
althy.

  “For what it’s worth.” Her father fisted his hands at his sides, struggling against the emotions so clearly imprinted on his face. “I love you. I’ve loved you since the day you were born, and I’ll love you until the day I die. Whether you believe it or not, you have been my inspiration, and the reason I pushed so hard these past years. I wanted you to know.”

  Her father turned.

  No regrets. Isn’t that the rule I live by? No regrets. He can’t hurt me. Not anymore.

  But it was just another lie.

  The little girl wanting her father’s love forced her to push out of the booth. “Father?” She took a step, then stopped when he turned. “I hope you’ll be well.”

  Her father’s thoughts appeared to turn inward for a few seconds, as if he searched for something to say. Then he just nodded and walked away—just as he’d done so many times in her life. She watched until he was gone before she turned to grab her purse.

  Dale began to stand.

  “No. Don’t.” She held out her hand. “You set this up. You betrayed my trust.”

  “Gwen, I—”

  “Stop. There is nothing you can say. Nothing could convince me to forgive you for this. That…” She pointed over her shoulder in the direction her father took. “That hurt. You knew I didn’t get along with him, and yet you forced me to deal with him.”

  “Listen to what you’re saying.” He stood, reached out, and grabbed her wrist and pulled her gently to him. “You can be mad. That’s fine. But I did this for you. And maybe, as a father, I hoped you could forgive a dying man.”

  She pulled her arm out of his grasp. “Whether I forgive my father is none of your business.”

  “I care for you, Gwen. And that makes it my business.”

  “Well, that works out perfectly, because I don’t need you to care about me.”

  Dale’s eyes glassed over with frustration. “That’s right, Gwen Zell doesn’t need anyone.”

  “That’s right.”

  “Then go, be alone. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t care about anyone, because caring might lead to you being hurt. Love sometimes hurts, Gwen. That’s a fact. But know there are times when love can fill the soul so full you feel…you feel like you can run into battle, and nothing or no one can hurt you.” He picked up the letter and card on the table and shoved them into her hands. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry you feel I betrayed you, because, God, that was the last thing I meant to do. I’m truly sorry.”

  His jaw pulsed once, twice, and again. He stared past her shoulder before his gaze reconnected with hers. “Take care, Gwen.”

  He took a step back and around her. He didn’t stop or talk to anyone, he just kept walking. Her wobbly legs gave out, and she sank to the booth seat.

  Years of emotions she’d so carefully locked away threatened her shields of indifference. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t swallow. Angry heat scorched her chest. She stood and made her way to the front of the café, avoiding looking directly at anyone, because then they might see the fraud, the person who swore she didn’t care, but cared too deeply.

  Once outside, she walked the several blocks to her store. Her lungs and eyes burned. Determination kept her steps quick and efficient. Rounding the corner, she paused to see her reflection in the storefront window.

  “What have I done?”

  More important, what am I supposed to do now?

  Chapter Ten

  “I figured I’d find you here.” Ashley struggled through the door of Gwen’s new home with a plant in her arms. “This place is great. I love the porch.” Ashley set the birdhouse filled with herbs on the counter. “Once your business is up and running again, you can display sale items out there to draw people in. Aren’t you excited?”

  “Excited and nervous all at the same time.” Gwen rubbed a mint leaf. “I love the planter. You didn’t have to bring me a present.”

  “Yes, I did. I’m glad you decided to use your trust to do something good for you and this community.”

  “You and your dad started me thinking. All that money was just sitting there. I figured I could use it to do something positive.”

  Positively ecstatic was what she should feel, yet something was off—missing? Last night, she figured out what it was. The one person who made her feel whole, made things possible, was Dale. He wasn’t there, and his absence opened up a well of intense loneliness, and made her feel utterly empty.

  “It’ll be great once the construction is done and everything’s organized.” She forced her face to form a smile, even though she just wanted to go back to bed and pull the covers over her head until she could forget.

  “That reminds me.” Ashley retrieved a small tube from her large tote. “Dad redid the sketches for this place, and discussed the changes you want with Chase.”

  “That was nice of him.” The cardboard tube felt rough to the touch, just like Dale’s hand. A searing emptiness slashed through her, and she fought for air.

  “Chase had a few things to finish up on other jobs, but he can start in a couple of days if you don’t mind him working late.”

  That means Dale’s going to avoid me. I don’t blame him. “Tell Chase thanks for fitting me in, and that I’m happy to accommodate his schedule.” She swallowed the bitterness. “I’m anxious to get my store reopened. I ordered bigger signage to help people find me.”

  “I don’t think you need to worry about people finding you. Once a few key people in town find out who purchased this place, the whole town will know, trust me. Oh, and Jenna said she’ll make your grand-new-opening cake if you want.”

  “That’s sweet of her.”

  Ashley reached out and touched her arm. “I know it’s none of my business, and when I walked in here, I promised myself I wouldn’t ask what happened between you and my dad. But I can’t stand to see you both so miserable. Is there anything I can do?”

  Miserable. That about sums it up.

  “I just need some time. You know, to figure things out about your dad and all.” Gwen moved to the bank of windows overlooking the street. “I had my life figured out—or so I thought. I was comfortable here until that water pipe broke.”

  She picked up a roll of cash register tape and rolled it around and around, like the thoughts tumbling through her head. “Last night, I came to the conclusion I’ve been hiding from more than just my parents. I’ve been hiding from myself.” She let out a long, slow breath. “I used to have these dreams about what my life could be. I had goals. I don’t know what happened to them.”

  Ashley came closer and slipped her arms around Gwen’s shoulders, giving her a hug. “I know what you mean.” She released her. “In college, my friends and I talked about making our marks on the world. How we would change lives. For the longest time after my mom died, I felt like I’d let myself down. That I’d failed in some way. I had every intention of starting my own homecare business until I held Caitlyn in my arms. In that small moment, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be a role model for my little girl.” Ashley wrapped her arms around her abdomen, most likely thinking of her baby yet to be born.

  “I wanted to be a clothing designer,” Gwen said. “I had dreams of being on a subway or bus or airplane and seeing someone wearing one of my designs. All this time, I’ve been thinking I would have to spend years apprenticing at the large fashion houses in New York before anyone would give me the opportunity to develop a clothing line. But then I realized I can start small and sell my clothes here. Who knows how things might grow from there?”

  “That sounds like a great idea,” Ashley said.

  “That would only complete half my dream, though.”

  “What’s the other half?”

  “Having a family.”

  Admitting she wanted to start a family startled her into assessing the reason. Why now? Can I really have my own? Do I even know how to be a part of a family? “Since I left home, I forced myself to believe I’d be okay living alone, but the truth is, I’m not okay.”
The sting of tears overpowered her will to stay in control.

  “No, no, no…hey, don’t cry. You have family. You’ve got Jenna and me.”

  “Yeah, I know, and I appreciate that, but…”

  “But?”

  “You have Chase and Jenna has Grant.” Gwen saw her friend’s lower lip turning white, she was biting down so hard. “Don’t say it.”

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  “You were going to tell me to give your dad a second chance.”

  “No I wasn’t. I was going to tell you to follow your heart. My dad isn’t perfect. He can be such a guy sometimes, but one thing I know for certain is, he admits when he’s wrong. He might show his love in the weirdest of ways, but he tries hard. In the end, he just wants to be needed, and I’m someone who needs my dad.”

  Gwen used her shirt sleeve to wipe away tears. “I guess all we can do is try.”

  “And you try so hard to take care of us. I hate to leave you like this, but I’ve got a little girl at home who probably wants to be fed.” Ashley took a step back and rubbed her chest. A tiny hint of discomfort showed in her brow. “Will you be okay? I have my breast pump kit in the car. I could stay.”

  “No. You should go. I’m good.”

  Ashley lifted onto her toes and kissed her cheek. “Whatever you decide about my dad, I’ll be here. I’m your friend, no matter what. Promise me you’ll call if you need anything.”

  “Thank you.” A warm appreciation again caused her eyes to sting, this time in a good way. “I’ll call you later.”

  Ashley waved and made her way to the door.

  Gwen moved to the front window to watch Ashley’s vintage VW bug pull into traffic, then studied the tube on the counter. She popped the white plastic top off and pulled out the drawings. Unrolling the paper, she smoothed out the precise, hand-drawn sketches of each room. Dale had perfectly translated the images she’d created in her mind. The counter. Every shelf. The built-in displays. All perfect. She caressed the pages, appreciating the craft in each line, so carefully drawn with loving accuracy.

  He shows his love in the weirdest ways. She rolled up the drawings and placed the tube in her purse. Yes, he sure does. When her father’s envelope fell out, she paused, wondering whether she was ready to revisit the past. Life is never easy. We can only do our best to find happiness. Dale’s words echoed across her mind and provided comfort.