A Lion's Tale: Around the World in Spandex
Page 1
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
AUTHOR’S NOTE
COAUTHOR’S NOTE
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
FOREWORD
THE COUNT DOWN
PART ONE WINNIPEG
CHAPTER 1: SHUT UP, KID, OR I’LL SLAP YOUR FACE
CHAPTER 2: GROTTO VALLEY DEATH MATCH
CHAPTER 3: BODY SLAMS, BISCUITS, AND BIBLES
CHAPTER 4: MATH FOR HINDUS
PART TWO GALGARY
CHAPTER 5: THE OBVIOUS TRANSITION FROM ARCHERY TO WRESTLING
CHAPTER 6: I WOULD’VE SIGNED AWAY MY UNIT
CHAPTER 7: ROB BENOIT
PART THREE WICHITA AND ELSEWHERE
CHAPTER 8: IRON WILL
CHAPTER 9: THE PIED PIPER OF PONOKA
CHAPTER 10: HOW TO DRINK LIKE A WRESTLER
CHAPTER 11: PROPER CRACK-BUYING ETIQUETTE
CHAPTER 12: A HOT DOG AND A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE
CHAPTER 13: MY NAME IS CHRIS TOO
PART FOUR MEXICO
CHAPTER 14: THE WORST BALL-HUGGERS EVER
CHAPTER 15: TOILET WATER IS TOILET WATER
CHAPTER 16: THE GOAT BUS
CHAPTER 17: AN EMBARRASSING WAY TO DIE
CHAPTER 18: CORAZON DE POLLO
CHAPTER 19: HALCION BOWLING
CHAPTER 20: WHEN YOU LOSE A BROTHER
PART FIVE GERMANY
CHAPTER 21: THE TRIANGLE OF DECADENCE
CHAPTER 22: THE JERICHO CURSE
CHAPTER 23: THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT JERICHO
CHAPTER 24: MY FIRST FELONY!
PART SIX KNOXVILLE
CHAPTER 25: AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A WAL-MART PARTY
CHAPTER 26: TRUE TO THE CREW
CHAPTER 27: STRANGE KENTUCKY PEOPLE
CHAPTER 28: AIN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A FAMOUS WRESTLER?
CHAPTER 29: MY WHITE WHALE
PART SEVEN JAPAN
CHAPTER 30: DONALDO MAKUDONALDO
CHAPTER 31: THE DOM DELUISE OF WRESTLING
CHAPTER 32: PRAY FOR BLOOD
CHAPTER 33: WRESTLE AND ROMANCE
CHAPTER 34: YASKY
CHAPTER 35: THE WHITE URKEL
CHAPTER 36: THE LOVELY LADS
CHAPTER 37: YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN JAPAN AGAIN
CHAPTER 38: CALGARY KIDS
CHAPTER 39: KENNY AND DOLLY
PART EIGHT PHILADELPHIA
CHAPTER 40: PRETTY BOYS WERE CRUCIFIED
CHAPTER 41: CAN YOU DIG IT?
CHAPTER 42: THE GOLDEN TICKET
PART NINE ATLANTA
CHAPTER 43: DOOMED FROM THE START
CHAPTER 44: BASKETBALL HIGHLIGHTS #12
CHAPTER 45: INDIAN CASTE SYSTEM
CHAPTER 46: CHRIS BIGALOW, ORIENTAL GIGOLO
CHAPTER 47: THIS IS SHOW BUSINESS, BABY
CHAPTER 48: CONSPIRACY VICTIM
CHAPTER 49: CRUISERWEIGHT PURGATORY
CHAPTER 50: DWARFBERG
CHAPTER 51: NO TICKEE, NO LAUNDRY
CHAPTER 52: SHE WAS MY DENSITY
PART TEN NEW YORK, NEW YORK
CHAPTER 53: TIME TO RACK
CHAPTER 54: ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG
CHAPTER 55: THE CLOCK HITS ZERO TONIGHT
REQUIEM
Copyright © 2007 by Chris Jericho
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
Grand Central Publishing
Hachette Book Group USA
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroupUSA.com.
First eBook Edition: October 2007
ISBN: 0-446-40888-3
1. Jericho, Chris. 2. Wrestlers—Canada—Biography. 3. World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc. I. Fornatale, Peter. II. Title.
DEDICATION
For Eddy
Friend, Colleague, Brother, Inspiration
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I started working on this book in August of 2005 and finished it in May of 2007. It was a long process and a labor of love, and when the final manuscript was handed in I was convinced that it was exactly the way I wanted it to be.
The book was typeset and put into galley form (industry talk for pretty much finished, with no more changes allowed), and that was to be it.
But a horrible additional chapter unfolded.
One of the main characters in this book is Chris Benoit. He was a huge influence on my career and on my life, and he is a very important part of this story.
The majority of the events within this book focus on my life from 1990 to 1999. The Chris Benoit in this book is the one I knew within that same time frame. The man that I knew and loved exists within these pages, not the man that existed during the final days of his life.
Due to the tremendous understanding of the people at Grand Central Publishing, I was allowed to break the rules. I was able to make a few changes to the book and to write this message, and I thank them for that.
I just wish to God that I didn’t have to, and I pray for the souls of the departed.
CJ
COAUTHOR’S NOTE
First, I want to say that this book is not an “as told to” autobiography. My role was to brainstorm ideas and help with organization and structure. The voice is 100 percent Chris Jericho.
Also, we chose to refer to Vince McMahon’s wrestling company as the WWF in most places throughout the book, because that’s what it was called when the events being described took place. It has since been renamed the WWE.
Peter Thomas Fornatale
Brooklyn, New York
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To Jesus Christ for allowing me to live my dream. Thank you sir!
To Jessica my princess and the love of my life, for her belief and tolerance of me. To our children, Ash, Cheyenne, and Sierra, for teaching me how to be a man. Love is too small a word.
To my dad, Ted, for being my biggest supporter and my best friend.
To my mom, Loretta, for being my true hero and for teaching me how to love.
To Chad and Todd Holowatuk for being the brothers I always had.
To Grandma Jesse for getting me into this whole mess.
To Grandpa Jake for granting me amnesty.
To Auntie Joan for encouraging and sparking my creativity.
To Lance Storm, Lenny Olson, Mike Lozanski, and Bret Como for their friendship and for being there from the beginning. We toured the world and elsewhere…
To the Palko Family—Jerry, Bev, Brad, and Tyler. Without your love and support this journey never would’ve taken place.
To Chris Benoit for being a mentor, a big brother, and for always having my back. Love and respect to the man I knew.
To Mick Foley and Andy Summers, whose autobiographies are the templates for what mine aspires to be.
To Pete Fornatale for your advice and assistance as I was writing this masterpiece. I couldn’t have chosen a better collaborator.
To Mick Foley for going through the book with me line by line because he cared. His “bestselling author” suggestions and insightful advice were invaluable in making this a better book.
To my editor, Melanie Murray, at Grand Central Publishing, for picking up someone else’s vision and crafting it masterfully into her own; and for putting up with my OCD!
To Barry Bloom, Leland LaBarre, and everyone at Diverse, Nicole Nassar, and Kelly Kupper for being the quarterbacks of Team Jericho.
To Rich Ward and Mark Willis for helping to make rock ’
n’ roll dreams come true.
To Marc Gerald, Seth Rappaport, and Jason Pinter for putting this idea into my head and helping me realize there was something interesting to write about after all.
To all of the promoters who enabled me to turn this fantasy into reality: Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, Paul Heyman, Genichiro Tenryu, Antonio Inoki, Atsushi Onita, Paco Alonso, Carlos Elizondo, Jim Cornette, Rene Lasartesse, Ed Langley, Bob Puppets, Fred Jung, Tony Condello, and Bob Holliday. This is all your fault!
To Owen Hart, Ricky Steamboat, and Shawn Michaels for capturing my imagination and being heroes.
To Jim Ross for writing (as only he can) the perfect Foreword.
To all of those on the long and winding road whose friendship, love, and support helped to make it all possible: Ryan Ahoff, Dave Spivak, Kevin Ahoff, Craig Wallace, Warren Rumpel, Lee Wren, Don Callis, Tonga Fifita, Norman Smiley, Charles Ashenoff, Chavo Guererro Jr., Negro Casas, Yoshihiro Asai, Ajax Olson, Dean Malenko, Shane Helms, Hector Guerrero, Shane McMahon, Ed Aborn, all the past and present members of Fozzy, Sean Delson, Mike Martin, Bob Castillo and all at Grand Central Publishing for their understanding, Flamur Tonuzi, Bonnie Irvine, Paula and Tony Ford, Dave Meltzer for the fact checking, Paul Gargano, Lisa Ortiz, Masa Horie, Stephanie McMahon, Mary Klewchuk, Herb Irvine, Donna, Josh, and Dylan Campanaro, Kevin Dunn, Fred Chase, Zakk Wylde, Michael Braverman, Hal Sparks for the Beaver Birthday Cake line, Dale Thompson for Fistful of Bees, Mike Portnoy, the Irvine family, the Lockhart family, the Wheeldon family, the Malones, the Klewchuk family, the Holowatuk family, Pastor Chris Bonham, Rich McFarlin, and everyone at Grace Family Church, all of the Jerichoholics and Fozzy Fanatics worldwide and, most importantly, YOU!
CJ
www.chrisjericho.com
Phil. 4:13
FOREWORD
Are you a dreamer?
Because dreams still do come true and this fascinating book of one young man’s dream becoming a reality proves it.
As the son of a former National Hockey League player, when young Chris Jericho was growing up in Winnipeg, Canada, he always wanted to be one of two things when he became an adult. With conventional wisdom tossed aside, Chris dreamed of being either a wrestler or rock star and actively started working toward those goals when he was fourteen years old. Rassler or Rock Star...Mom and Dad must have been thrilled!
One distinguishing trait of successful people is that they have the ability to dream and the desire to make those dreams come true no matter the challenges. This book is both a colorful blueprint of how to set one’s goals and accomplish them and a story about a young man’s adventures on many continents seeking the fame and fortune that had been tugging at his heartstrings his entire life.
I had the privilege of recruiting and signing Chris Jericho to his WWE contract in 1999. I still remember the meeting that Gerald Brisco and I had with Chris at the Bombay Bicycle Club in Clearwater, Florida, one weekday afternoon. For several hours we talked about the biz, told road stories, and worked on convincing Chris to come to the WWE for half the money that WWC was offering him to stay in Atlanta. Luckily we succeeded, as Chris made the decision to continue with his journey, to live his dream, and to run with the opportunity to finally become a superstar in the WWE.
Being active in the wrestling business for over four decades now, I can honestly say that there will never be another professional journey by any wrestler that will remotely compare with Chris Jericho’s odyssey to make it to the WWE. Many of today’s wrestlers have not been a product of the wrestling territory system like Chris was, because the territorial wrestling promotions have died. Few wrestlers today would even consider traveling abroad so frequently and to literally be challenged to survive in order to learn their craft. Chris Jericho did.
This may be the first-ever autobiographical, action-adventure, how-to-achieve-success book ever written. Chris Jericho is one of the most driven, focused, and talented individuals I have ever known and this unpredictable and offbeat story of one of the most amazing decades of any individual’s life will keep you turning the pages from start to finish.
Chris Jericho is the last of a dying breed of unique individuals, the likes of which we will never see again.
Dreams do come true. Happy endings still exist. This book proves it.
Jim “J.R.” Ross
www.jrsbarbq.com
THE COUNT DOWN
15. . . 14. . . 13. . .
The crowd was buzzing like a fistful of bees, each one of them counting down with the clock. The Rock, one of the biggest names in WWF history, stopped his promo mid-sentence as the Countdown to the New Millennium graphic ticked down from 15 seconds toward zero.
Sixteen thousand fans in the Allstate Arena in Chicago knew something huge was about to happen.
The countdown continued...
12. . . 11. . . 10. . .
Standing backstage in the darkness behind the curtain of the massive Raw set, I knew that nothing I’d accomplished before this moment meant a dang thing now.
9. . . 8. . .
Vince McMahon didn’t care about any of the successes I’d achieved or about any of the countries I’d traveled to in my quest to make it to the WWF.
He didn’t care that I’d been a heartthrob in Mexico or a champion in Japan. All he cared about was what I could do when the clock struck zero and I walked out into the arena to verbally joust with The Rock. If I hit a home run, I’d be on my way to superstardom. But if I struck out, there would be no second chance.
7. . . 6. . .
It was hard to concentrate as the roar of the crowd grew to a deafening crescendo, but I tried to forget about the Jericho Curse and focus on what was about to happen. When the clock hit zero, the double pyro display would explode and my new entrance video and ring music would begin to play.
5. . . 4. . .
Trying to calm the pounding of my heart and the nerves that were running rampant, my mental Rolodex shuffled through all of the experiences that had led me to this moment: Vince McMahon’s house, Brian Hildebrand’s tribute match in Knoxville, the feud with Goldberg in WCW, Super Liger in Japan, the ECW Arena in Philly, the Super J Cup—Second Stage, the match with Ultimo Dragón in Ryogoku, pickpocketing Christopher Lloyd in Roppongi, wrestling with a broken arm in Tennessee, hanging out with strippers on the Reeperbahn in Germany, getting held up at gunpoint in Mexico City, playing bass with los Leones, my mom’s crippling injury, meeting Lance Storm on my first day at the Hart Brothers Pro Wrestling Camp in Okotoks, PummelMania, watching wrestling at my grandma’s house in Winnipeg…
PART ONE WINNIPEG
CHAPTER 1
SHUT UP, KID, OR I’LL SLAP YOUR FACE
The first time I ever watched pro wrestling was with my grandma in her basement in Winnipeg when I was seven. She was a quiet lady but whenever the AWA was on TV, she would freak out and start yelling and screaming. AWA stood for American Wrestling Association and was one of three major wrestling companies in North America, along with the WWF (World Wrestling Federation) and NWA (National Wrestling Alliance).
My grandma’s name was Jesse and the wrestler who most drew her ire was a do-ragged-sporting, Elton John–sunglasses–wearing bad guy named Jesse “The Body” Ventura. Ventura, who sported a fashionable jewel in the dimple of his chin, was part of a tag team with the biker-looking Adrian Adonis. Jesse was a flamboyant loudmouth and I couldn’t get enough of him. My grandma couldn’t stand the Body or his antics.
My family went to my grandparents’ house every Saturday night to watch the Holy Trinity of Childhood Television™, which began with the Bugs Bunny/Roadrunner Hour at five, followed by the AWA at six, and ending with Hockey Night in Canada at seven. My dad’s name was Ted Irvine, and he played hockey in the NHL for ten years with the Los Angeles Kings (where he assisted on the very first power play goal in Kings history), the New York Rangers (where he went all the way to Game 6 of the Stanley Cup final in 1972, only to lose to Bobby Orr and his Boston Bruins), and the
St. Louis Blues (where he ended his career in 1977). He was known as the Baby-Faced Assassin and was one of the most feared players in the league. Legendary tough guys like Dave Shultz and Keith Magnuson would challenge him to try and make a name for themselves. But he could also score and ended up with a total of 170 NHL goals and with his combination of skill and strength he was one of the original power forwards. So hockey was a big part of our family, but pro wrestling was beginning to become an even bigger part.