My Favorite What If

by Lyssa Layne

  “Whew! My cheeks hurt from laughing so much,” Sloan comments as she pats her face.

  I nod, my laughter dying down. “I know, me too.”

  “So, Smitty, tell me, if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?”

  “Hmm…anywhere? If I had to answer right now, I’d say anywhere you are.”

  Sloan sucks in her breath and I’m right there with her doing the same thing. Before I have a chance to explain, though I don’t know what the hell I’d say, Sloan smiles and taps my leg. “I’ll keep that in mind next time I travel.”

  Our gazes meet and I move my head over hers. She pulls in her bottom lip, chewing on it nervously. My heart races in my chest and I desperately want to lean forward and kiss her, but something is holding me back. Our faces are only six inches away and I just can’t do it.

  The bus stops moving and the driver glances back at us. “We’re here, my friends!”

  Sloan stands up and looks at the front of the bus. “Great, thank you!”

  Quickly, she steps over me as though I’m not even there and climbs off the bus. Shit, I run my hands down my face. Caroline is gone. Why can’t I let her go? This is exactly why I haven’t moved on in the past year, but the fact is that I need to. Not because I want, need, to have someone in my bed. No, because for once since she’s been gone, I’ve met a woman that I want to know. Glancing out the window, I watch Sloan walking up the stairs to the lobby. Go, Smitty, go after her! I hear Jules telling me. She’s right. Do it, chase her, go!

  Sloan

  “Sloan, wait!” I hear Smitty calling behind me. This man has me so confused… and totally worked up. He holds me while I sleep, almost as intimately as any man I’ve been with, flirts with me the whole way here, touching me at any chance he gets, and when he has the opportunity to kiss me, he totally flakes out.

  Pretending I don’t hear him, I keep walking until he grabs my hand. My stomach dances and despite my best effort, there’s no way my body can ignore him and the desire he’s created. He spins me around and drops his hands to my waist. I wait for him to speak but he doesn’t say a word. His left hand pushes my hair off my shoulder and his knuckles graze my bare skin, sending shivers of excitement throughout me. Finally, he lifts his gaze to meet my eyes.

  Letting out a long sigh, his hand moves from my shoulder to my cheek. The back of his hand moves along my face. “Look, I’m sorry about…back there. I’m a bit out of practice and—”

  “Lolo!”

  I turn to see Gavin and our soon-to-be brother-in-law, Will, waving at me from across the lobby. From the way they’re walking, more like stumbling toward us, it’s obvious they’ve been day-drinking. I laugh and pull away from Smitty, not wanting to hear it from the boys and also not wanting them to begin interrogating Smitty. Then again, maybe they’d be able to crack the code on this mystery man. I meet the guys halfway across the room where they both give me bear hugs, lifting me off the ground.

  “Come on, Lo. Get your suit on and start drinking with us,” Will says, pulling me toward the pool.

  I nod but don’t follow his lead. “Give me a second and I’ll be right there.”

  They each give me a kiss on the cheek and head back toward the pool. When I turn around, Smitty is gone. I look down the hallway to my left and whip my head to the right, checking that direction, too, but he’s nowhere in sight. I sigh, guess the fun is over before it even began.

  CHAPTER 4

  Smitty

  Bright colors along with wicker furniture and Jamaican wall hangings decorate the room that I’ll be calling home for the next week. I toss my room key on the bed and walk to the balcony. Perfect, between the mini fridge and this view of the ocean, I’ll be set for the week. I don’t know what I was thinking with Sloan. Obviously, as much as my body is ready for me to move on, mentally it just isn’t happening.

  When I walk back inside, I see a bottle of champagne and two champagne flutes sitting on the entertainment stand with an envelope beside it. My gut tells me that I shouldn’t open it but curiosity gets the best of me. I slide my finger under the tab and tear it open.

  Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Smith! Welcome to Secret Romance Resort. Please let us know if we can do anything during your stay with us.

  Crumbling the note in my hand, I toss it in the trash can and turn on Jules’ iPad, connecting to the WiFi. I pop the cork on the champagne and lie down on the bed so I can check work emails. There’s no Mrs. Smith with me so I start drinking straight from the bottle to help me forget.

  A ringing noise comes from the iPad. It takes me a few seconds to realize it’s an incoming call on Skype. When I open the app, it says the call is from Bentley. I accept the call and Jules pops up on the screen.

  “Why are you calling yourself?” I ask her.

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m not calling myself, I’m calling you. How was your flight?”

  I take a long swig so she can see me and shake my head. “Yes, mother hen, I’m fine.”

  She frowns. “Jacob, you’d better not sit in your room and get drunk the whole time you’re there.”

  Great, she’s calling me by my first name. I want to blame someone for Caroline not being here with me, but it’s not fair to take it out on Jules. “I’m fine. Just a rocky start, okay? I plan on wallowing in self-pity today and then I’ll go to the beach or something tomorrow.”

  “Rocky start? How so?”

  Ugh, why did I say that? I should’ve known Jules would pick up on it. “Nothing, just a little rusty on my pick-up skills.”

  Jules’ face breaks into a grin. “So there’s a girl?”

  I laugh. “Maybe, I don’t know, Jules. I have baggage, no one wants any part of that.”

  Another eye-roll. “Smitty, she doesn’t have to know about your baggage. It’s just a week and you’ll never see her again.”

  That’s the problem. Maybe I want to see her again. Maybe I want to get to know her better. Maybe I need more than a week with Sloan. God knows that my body definitely wants something else from her.

  “Yeah, Jules. We’ll see. In the meantime, don’t call me again.”

  She giggles and blows me a kiss. “Have fun, Smitty. Love you!”

  I smile. “Love you, too, Jules.”

  I end the call and toss the iPad on the other side of the bed. Staring out the window, I wonder what Sloan is doing. Those guys had to have been her family. No way it was a boyfriend. If she was my girl, my hands would’ve been all over her the second she was within my reach. Tilting the bottle up, I chug down champagne. Stop, Smitty. Get this girl off your mind.

  For the next couple hours, I lie in my bed, finishing off the bottle of champagne and flipping the channels before I finally doze off. When I wake up, it’s dark out and the clock on the nightstand says it’s after eight. My head is pounding so I grab a beer from the fridge, drinking enough until my headache is gone and my buzz is back.

  A half hour later and my stomach is grumbling, reminding me I haven’t eaten since I arrived at the resort. I change out of the clothes I wore on the plane and put on a pair of jeans, a collared shirt, and some flip-flops. Drinking a Red Stripe, I follow the sounds of the reggae music, assuming the buffet must be in that direction.

  When I arrive at the pool deck, I see a band playing in an open area where people are dancing in the middle of the room. The smells of pasta, roast beef, and jerk chicken hit my nose and, like a hound dog, I sniff out the food table, filling my plate as high as I can without dropping any of it. I sit down and begin eating, only to realize I’m hungrier than I thought I was and begin to inhale my food. I’ve never tasted anything so delicious in my entire life, but then again, I’ve been living on frozen meals for the past year.

  Once I’ve cleaned my plate, I order another beer and lean back in my seat. The crowd on the dance floor consists of couples, all probably on their honeymoons or celebrating an anniversary. The resort isn’t exclusively for couples, but it isn’t exactly set up for singles either.
Dragging my hands down my face, I shake my head. I can’t do this, I shouldn’t have come. I’d much prefer to be at my own house to wallow in my misfortune rather than have what I was so close to be thrown in my face.

  I stand up and chug the rest of my beer. Feeling a bit woozy, I make my way across the dance floor, taking the shortcut back to my room. The band ends their song and the couples start to move off the dance floor. There, in the middle of everyone, is Sloan. She’s wearing the lowest cut V-neck dress, her hips swaying to the beat of the music, even after the band has stopped. Glancing around the room, every man, single or not, is staring at her and probably thinking the same thing I am.

  Maybe it’s the atmosphere or maybe it’s my hormones, more than likely it’s the alcohol, but without thinking twice, I march over to Sloan. She doesn’t even see me coming as she’s still dancing with her eyes closed. My hands reach out and grasp the soft, cotton material of her dress. Her eyes open and her mouth drops in surprise. I don’t give her a chance to talk. Not losing my nerve this time, I lean forward and press my lips against hers as my hands grip her hips. Immediately, Sloan kisses me back, her lips parting and inviting my tongue in. Her hands slip around my neck and I pull her as close to me as I can. My left hand goes to her long, honey hair, pulling on it and wanting more than just this moment.

  Sloan

  Tilting my head to the side, I let Smitty kiss me deeper and my stomach burns with desire. It’s been awhile since I’ve been kissed and even longer since someone kissed me like this. I’ll forgive him for not doing this earlier since this kiss is surely much more passionate than the liplock we would’ve shared on the shuttle bus.

  The band starts to play again and my hips start moving back and forth. Judging from the reaction in his pants and the alcohol on his breath, it’s probably not a good idea. Reluctantly, I pull my head away from him and grin. “Have a good night, Smitty.”

  Lazily, he opens his eyes. His face is inscrutable and he starts to pull away. Before he gets too far, I grab his hand and pull him back to me for another quick peck on the lips. I can tell he wants more, but something tells me not to go too far with him… at least not yet. Turning away before either of us make an impulse move, I face my brother and sister who are staring at me, jaws on the floor. Laughing, I move my body with the music, ignoring both their stares.

  My big brother strides to me, looking over my shoulder in Smitty’s direction. “What the hell was that, Sloan?”

  Sissy’s eyes are big and she nods, agreeing with Gavin. “Yeah, Lo…that kiss was HOT!”

  My little sister is right. That kiss was hot and I’m not cooling down from it very fast. I’m sure Smitty wouldn’t mind if I followed him to his room, but something tells me that a man who comes to a romantic resort alone and gets wasted within hours of arriving, probably isn’t in the best frame of mind for casual hook-ups. Don’t get me wrong, I’m okay with messing around and having a good time, but I won’t be someone’s mistake.

  Still dancing, I grab my brother’s hand and twirl into his arms and out, making him dip me. Still scowling, he pulls me up. I kiss his cheek. “Follow him to his room, please. Make sure he gets there okay.”

  Gavin grumbles, reluctantly giving in and following Smitty’s path. Sissy’s fiancé, Will, joins us, wrapping his arms around her. “Holy shit, Lo! That kiss even got me hard and you just sent the boy to bed alone?”

  Sissy giggles and playfully elbows him in the stomach. Not one to embarrass easily, I nod at the both of them. “I’m sure you two can do better.”

  And like that, the Talbott competitive side comes out in my sister, who turns her attention to Will and the two begin making out in the middle of the dance floor. I laugh at them, but welcome the excuse to get a drink. Leaning against the bar, I can tell my face is flushed and I’d like to say it’s from dancing, but I know it’s that kiss. My legs are still tingly from the rush of passion Smitty sent throughout my body.

  Lust. That’s all it was, good old-fashioned lust. It’d been a long time since I felt this way—wanting to rip his clothes off and run my hands from the tip of his head to the bottom of his feet. I sigh. Yeah, Lo, that’s just what this is—lust. If it was lust then I’d be in Smitty’s room right now, doing exactly those things. My stomach churns as I fight off what I am afraid this really means.

  CHAPTER 5

  Smitty

  The early morning Jamaican sun shines in through the balcony window and I squint. The pain behind my eyeballs won’t go away and my mouth feels like I’ve been eating cotton balls all night. I close my eyes and the image of Sloan comes to mind. Did I kiss her last night? I vaguely remember it. Then again, most of what happened after I checked-in is a blur. Yesterday, I was just wallowing in self-pity and drinking my blues away. I remember eating a huge dinner and then deciding to come back to my room, but then I saw her. That part, I remember clearly.

  She looked so carefree, something I haven’t been in a year. Her dress was soft under my fingertips as were her lips, but then she stopped it. She sent me back to my room. Turning my head, I look at the empty spot in my bed where she could have been lying. I can’t believe I made a total fool of myself like that.

  Sometime during my binge drinking the day before, I made up my mind that I was going home today, but maybe I should enjoy the beach a little, then book my flight later this afternoon. Yeah, that’ll be my plan. I take a long hot shower, trying to wash my hangover away. It doesn’t work. Luckily, Jules packed Pedialyte so hopefully I’ll be rehydrated soon.

  Shirtless and in a pair of board shorts, I make my way to the beach. I smell bacon and eggs mixed with the salt water from the ocean, but the thought of eating doesn’t sound very appealing right now. When I walk past the dining area, it’s practically empty even though it’s almost nine. Well, vacation is for sleeping in.

  I find a white lounge chair, spread out the hotel’s beach towel, and lie back, adjusting my Cardinals cap and sunglasses. Crap, I forgot the Pedialyte. I’ll grab a water when the bar opens. In the meantime, I’m just going to sleep this hangover away while I catch some rays. Drifting in and out of sleep, I can hear the beach getting busier. Pop music plays over the speakers, waves crash on the sand, people start yelling on the volleyball court and lovers whisper to each other on their own towels. I try to push it all away until something blocks the sun, casting a shadow over my body.

  Despite my sunglasses and ball cap, I move my arm to shield my eyes. Above me, is a slender body in an athletic, red Adidas bikini holding a volleyball. The suit hugs all the right curves, but it’s her smile that has me shifting in my seat.

  Sloan nods behind her toward the sand volleyball net. “You up for a game? We need another player.”

  I glance behind her, seeing the guys from yesterday. “Sure, I’ll play.”

  She holds out her hand to help me up. Gladly, I take it, swallowing hard as I stand, our bare skin almost touching. Dropping my hand, she begins to turn, but I touch her hip. She looks up in my eyes and I take my sunglasses off. When our eyes meet, I freeze and can’t remember what I want to say. Her lips turn into a smile and her tinkle of laughter brings me back to the moment.

  “Sorry,” I comment, shaking my head. “Look about last night…”

  Sloan’s smile gets slightly bigger. “What about it? You’re a great kisser.”

  My pulse picks up and I laugh nervously. “Yeah? Well, um, thanks, but…”

  “Lo, he playin’ or not?” one of the men from the lobby yells at her.

  She shouts back at him that we’re coming and takes my hand, walking us over. After she tosses the volleyball to the guy, she turns to me. Speaking to her family, she introduces me then points to the four people on the other side of the court. “That’s my kid sister, Sissy, and her fiancé, Will.”

  I recognize Will from the lobby yesterday and it’s quite obvious that Sloan and Sissy are sisters. I look back at Sloan, trying not to smile. So many similarities between the two, both have brown eyes, the same c
olor hair, straight-edge noses, high cheekbones, but Sloan is definitely the beauty between the two of them. Maybe it’s the constant smile she dons or her laidback ways, or perhaps it’s her rock solid body, but given the two Talbott sisters, I’d pick Sloan hands down.

  Beside Sissy and Will are an older couple that Sloan points to. “That’s my parents, Roger and Elaina.” Elaina is just as beautiful as her daughters with the same features. Although the man is probably in his fifties, he has the physique of a thirty-year-old. Well, shit, I’m a thirty-year-old so what’s that say about me? Either way, Sloan obviously comes from a family that cares about fitness.

  I give a polite wave to our opponents and look at our team. It’s the other guy from the lobby yesterday. He seems so familiar to me, like I’ve talked to him before, but aside from Sloan and the lady at the checkin counter, I haven’t met anyone else on the resort.

  Sloan nods at the guy. “This is my older brother, Gavin.” Gavin pulls his sunglasses over his eyes, not even acknowledging me.

  Sloan leans against me and whispers, “They all can get kind of competitive, especially Gavin.”

  I look at him again, pulling my glasses down, too. So, that’s how this is going to be then—a pissing contest. Gavin and I are about the same size, although he’s got a few pounds on me and I’m more muscle than he is. I smile and nod, this should be fun.

  Sloan laughs. “I take it you are, too?”

  Sliding my hand around her hip, mainly for an excuse to touch her, I nod. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you down.”

  “Good,” she says as she turns and catches the ball her brother throws at her.

  “Hey, hey, I don’t think the teams are fair,” Roger objects.

  From behind the service line, Sloan juts her hip to the left. “Why, Daddy? Because I’m not on your team? You’re still up a player.”

  This is true, without me, it would be three vs three so I’m not exactly sure why they needed me. Sloan tosses the ball high into the hair, jumping and pounding the it overhand and across the net, directly between Will and Elaina. Sloan cheers and gives her brother a high five. Gavin shakes his head laughing, then looks in my direction. “She played college volleyball at KU. That’s why they have an extra player.”