by Kirby Elaine
“Yeah sure, whatever he wants to do.” She smiled and glanced over her shoulder at him.
“Great, I’ll see you guys later.” I said to the room as a whole. I went and kissed my son on the forehead before leaving.
***
At the house I was ecstatic to see my sister, Leah and her children including an adult Mackenzie who had taken to motherhood like I never expected. She and Nathan’s daughter Natalia was just behind my boys at seven months. And she looked a lot like her mother despite her red hair.
The breakfast table, over the years had doubled in size. The children alone out-numbered the adults and cribs, car seats, and carriers had become a necessity wherever we went. Fortunately, we didn’t intend on any trips outside of the Hamptons and we used the private plane for most flights.
I sat with Torrin and Tristan on my lap while Liam held his youngest Kadin; which was one of his four. He too had a set of twins, Rory and Regan, and his eldest Julian. My sister however, had been the only one not to have twins. She just had Mackenzie who was actually her husband’s child and another boy and girl that were a year apart.
We had all settled into marriage around the same time giving our father eleven grandchildren and his first great grandchild. And while he claimed to love the wealth of grandchildren he wasn’t very involved in any of their lives. But we all knew the man he had become. He was so wrapped up in business and money that over the years, we had fallen by the wayside.
“How’s it feel to be home?” Jayda asked me settling in next to Liam and lifting Kadin from his lap.
“I’ve missed you all so much. It’s a bit crazy how short it seemed my trip had been only to return home to everyone having changed so much.” I pulled my boys in closer to me smelling the shampoo on their heads. Heads full of dark curly hair.
“We’ve missed you. It was strange not having you here to run to when Liam got out of line.” She smirked at Liam and he nudged her.
“I bet he was the one in real trouble. It’s too many women in this family.”
“Well, he had Nathan and Sam.”
“Speaking of Nathan,” Liam interrupted, “he’s taking a car up soon, should be here in a day or two. He wanted to get business squared away, he’s going to try and get back to New Orleans to see his brother again this month. When do you think you’ll be stepping in again?”
I eyed my brother. The job was a lot to take on right away. It was intense and hectic and I wasn’t ready. He cleared his throat but didn’t say anything else. He knew I wasn’t ready and still had the nerve to ask.
Krishna
The rapping on the door was enough to wake a tranquilized horse. I wasn’t in a hurry to answer it. It was late afternoon and with my sisters-in-law having the kids out on the beach I was catching up on much needed rest. And Michael said he’d be in the city all day which I was also thankful for because his return had done a job on my emotional state.
I gingerly pulled open the door expecting it to be one of the kids but it wasn’t. The man that stood before me was a tall man and his brown hair fell past his shoulders. He wore a thick beard and he had bright green eyes. I didn’t have to say a word or ask a single question, I knew exactly who he was.
“You must be Krishna Darr.” He smiled reaching his hand out toward me.
“Krishna Scott, now. How did you find me?” I was genuinely stunned to see him, especially in the Hamptons.
“Your husband, Charlie. He got in touch. Told me where I could find you.
“Come in.”
“Thanks.” Abhishek followed me through the house and into the kitchen.
“Sorry if I’m a little out of it. I didn’t expect to see you. And Charlie, he isn’t my husband, just a good friend.”
“Well, he said otherwise and fed me a story about how I had a sister searching for her biological family. And so, when I showed up to see my mother yesterday and she actually agreed to see me and confirmed this, I was on the first flight out. I was a bit surprised myself. I wanted to call, but I wanted to see you.”
“Wow.” I ran my hands through my hair as I looked at the man who looked nothing like me. I wanted to pick his brain, find out what his life was like, find out why our parents gave me up.
“I’m sure you have questions. I hope I can answer them for you.” He sat on the stool at the breakfast bar and folded his hands beneath his chin.
“Would you like a drink? I have water, coffee, alcohol.”
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Can you tell me about our parents?” I poured myself a glass of wine. Forget that it was barely noon, my hands were shaking.
“I can tell you about our mother. I don’t know? We don’t have the same father.”
My blood ran hot. I thought I had figured it all out. The man on my birth certificate, I had assumed he was my father. And if he wasn’t, who was he and who was my biologically father. I took in a deep breath and looked into my brother’s eyes.
“Who is my father? I mean, Sha Rak Roshan signed my birth certificate. He was your father right?” I asked taking a seat beside him. He turned to face me.
“Yes. He was and he was my mother’s husband. But they only married after you were born. I’m not entirely sure why but your birth father refused to sign it. These are really questions for my mother, our mother.”
“So why was I given up? I don’t get it.”
“From what I gathered, my mother shamed her family by having a child outside of marriage. She was hard to marry off. But my father agreed to marry her under the condition that she’d give you up. She did what she had to do. And they grew to love each other very much. The alternative would have been being outcast from the family. That’s just the way our culture was. I’m assuming that’s what it was. My mother isn’t exactly coherent.”
I tried to catch the tear running from my eye but it hit Abhishek’s hand as he wiped it away. I was more at a loss for words than I had been before.
“How long have you known about this?”
“Literally, twenty four hours. When the desk attendant told me a woman was there claiming to be my mother’s daughter, I had to question her. She didn’t want to see me until she was told that I had questions about my sister. She cried the entire time but told me enough to make me want to seek you out.”
“I don’t know what to—”
“She wants to meet you, Krishna. You can fly back with me in two days. I’m staying at a hotel just inside of the city.”
I sat stunned. I was on vacation with my family, I didn’t expect things to happen like this. I honestly never expected Abi to seek me out. I sat looking blankly at the man before me. I wanted to know more about who he was.
“Are you living in Canada?” I asked ignoring my mother’s request to see me.
“No, I live in Anne Arbor.” He answered hurriedly. “I said our mother wants to see you.”
“I heard you. Are you married? Kids?”
“No, neither.”
“You fly to Canada every month to see her?”
“Yes. I don’t have much of a choice; my company is based out of Michigan. She refuses to move.”
“And she refuses to see you, so, why waste your time.”
“Because she’s my mother.”
“Why doesn’t she want to see you?”
“Because I look like my father. I came here to meet you, to tell you that your mother wants to meet you.”
“I know.”
“You’re acting like you don’t care. You flew to Canada for answers. I show up at your doorstep and you act like your biggest interest is my life. Are you going to meet her?”
“Yes. I mean, of course it’s just that I still in a bit of shock.” I smiled up at him.
“Understandably so.”
“I never imagined I’d have a brother. I thought that since she had given me up, she didn’t want children.”
“I think it was more so that my father didn’t want a child that wasn’t his.” He explained. I nodded. I co
uldn’t pretend to understand the thought process of Abi’s father. I didn’t care to. “And my mother chose a life with a man she didn’t know she’d love over her child, which from what I have gathered was a child born out of love. She chose to give you the life you have over a life with a single mother shunned from her family would have had.”
“Why wouldn’t your father accept me?”
“I can’t pretend to know his motives, Krishna. I assume that it’s because you weren’t full blooded.”
“I kind of guessed that looking in the mirror but after seeing your father’s name on my birth certificate…” This was confusing more by the second.
“Your father, he isn’t Indian.”
“So what else did she tell you, tell me everything.”
“Not much. But I have stories that I’ve heard about you throughout my life, didn’t know they were real.”
“Tell them to me.” I begged.
“We should probably get comfortable.” He smirked and I led him into the living room.
I had finally gotten answers. But it only made things more complex and it intensified the need to meet Amita and gather more answers about the man who once loved her, the white man that she was forbidden to give her heart to.
Michael
It was a shock to walk into the house, after spending the day in the city, to find Krishna laughing on the couch with a strange man. I leaned against the entry way watching them converse completely ignorant of my presence. I cleared my throat.
“Oh hey!” Krishna said with unexpected elation.
“Hey.” I stepped into the room as the man stood.
“Abi Roshan.” He reached out a hand. I glanced at Krishna in bewilderment before setting my eyes back on the stranger. I took his hand.
“Michael Scott, Krishna’s husband. And you are?” Apparently he was just as bewildered, as if I should have known who he was and what he was doing sitting in my house with my wife.
“Michael,” Krishna explained, “this is my biologically brother.” She smiled joyfully, her blue eye lighting up as she looked at him.
“Interesting.” I said crossing my arms across my chest. I looked at the two of them, the resemblance was there but I was taken aback by the fact that my wife told me nothing of this man’s existence. I turned and left the room. I didn’t know what more she wanted me to say to her or to him for that matter.
I went upstairs to our bedroom and sat my shopping bags down unpacking one at a time. I knew things were bad between us, I knew I had a ton of making up to do but this was bigger than our issues. Krishna talked about finding her birth family for years, it was important to her and she finds her brother and doesn’t tell me.
I messed up my marriage a long time ago and my biggest wonder now was whether or not I’d be able to repair all of the damage.
***
“Hey.” Krishna’s hand was under my shirt stroking my back. I had drifted off after getting home. I had been frustrated with her and with myself. I rolled over.
“Why didn’t you tell me about Abi?”
“I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t, why?”
“Because I wanted things to pan out first before I got my hopes up. I had no idea that he was going to show up here today.”
“You look happy.”
“I am. Our mother has asked to see me. I’m just anxious to get answers.” She stood and slid out of her jeans, letting them drop to the floor. I watched her tie her hair up into a neat bun and come out of everything she was wearing. She pulled a bikini from the dresser and quietly dressed in it. “Are you coming to the beach?” She slid on beach shorts and threw a towel over her shoulder.
“Yeah. Give me a few.” Picking her sunglasses up from the dresser, she nodded and left me alone in our room.
By the time I had showered and thrown on my trunks and made it to where everyone was on the beach thirty minutes had passed. I was mentally exhausted and in no way good company for my kids or the rest of the gang including Abi who I didn’t know had decided to stick around.
I took a seat next to my brother as we watched our wives, sister, niece and Alex swarm him. In all honesty he was a good looking guy. Liam had concluded that we were “old news” and that the women would be all over Abi while they had the chance.
“He says he’s trying to convince Krish to fly back to Canada with him.” Liam laughed. His eyebrows sprung up waiting to get a rise out of me.
“I mean really, Liam. Who the hell is this guy?” I laughed. “He shows up out of nowhere for me to find him talking to my wife in our home and now he wants her to fly to Canada to see their mother.”
“Are you jealous?”
“No. Why would I be jealous? It’s her brother. At least that’s who he says he is. I would like to look into him.”
“I’m already on it.” Liam laughed. “Called my guy the second he introduced himself.”
“And that is why you are my brother.”
“Not really why but I get the sentiment.” Liam laughed again. “I’m going to go pull my wife away from Mr. Roshan before I catch a case.”
“Are you jealous?” I mocked.
“Completely!” Liam laughed as he headed towards Jayda. He wrapped his arms around her and in seconds had drawn her away from Abi.
***
“You’ve been hanging back a lot today.” Krishna said offering her back so that I could zipper her gown.
“Contemplation has me a bit withdrawn.” I pulled the zipper up and she turned in my arms adjusting my tie.
“Well I miss the old you.”
“The old me was a jerk.” I rebutted.
“The old you was a sarcastic family man who kept me on my toes.” She pulled me to her lips by my tie and I had to resist the urge to take her dress off and take her.
“I hope your brother sticks around for a while.” I smiled devilishly.
“Oh, you think he is the reason I’m in such a great mood?”
“What else could it be?” I asked not expecting an actual answer.
“You. I’ve missed you and I’m starting to realize how much nothing else matters. You’re home now and we have to live with the past but not in it.”
I pulled my wife closer to me entwining my fingers in her hair. I looked at my watch over her shoulder and figured that five minutes was enough to at least send her over the edge. I rubbed my lips across her collarbone before letting go of her hair and kneeling before her. I allowed the silk of her dress to conceal me between her thighs as my tongue worked frantically but gently to push her limits. She complied with my advances throwing her leg over my shoulder and giving me access to every inch of her slick heat. And the heat radiated causing me to pull my tie loose before gripping her thigh and diving a little deeper. She was sweet and I shockingly had forgotten just how sweet she was. Before I knew it she was hiking her dress up and gripping my hair. She muffled her moans under her delicate hand as she came, giving me more of her with every pulse.
I stood wiping my mouth of her satisfaction. She didn’t make eye contact with me, instead she adjusted her dress and combed her fingers through her hair. Krishna wasn’t ready to forgive me and she knew it. But the fact that she allowed herself to use me meant that there was hope for me, for us. I disappeared into the bathroom and washed my face in the mirror. What had happened to me? I had changed so much.
Gone was the D.C. playboy that got his way when it came to everything. I was young, dumb and extremely talented at one point in my young adult life. I closed real estate deals in my sleep and when I started working with my brother, when life had finally began sorting itself out, I knew that I was getting everything I wanted, the way I was accustomed to doing. But like anyone else I had my limits.
“Alexandria.” I whisper her name at my reflection. I had never in my life loved a woman as completely as I had loved my mother. Not until Alex came into my life. I never planned on losing her and I still, so many years later, couldn’t figure out why I had allowed tho
ughts and memories of her to creep back in and consume me. But I knew now that she was my past. Krishna, without a doubt, is the love of my life. I’ve managed to distance myself mentally from our relationship in an effort to be more open to the possibility that she may not stay. I didn’t know how to let her back in and in all honesty I don’t think she cared to get back in.
“Are you coming?” Krishna called. I returned to the bedroom to watch her in the mirror running a vibrant red lipstick across her lips.
“I’m Ready.” I rolled my sleeves down, buttoning each before throwing on my blazer and grabbing my keys and wallet from the bedside table. I enjoyed these nights during vacation, when the nannies stayed back at the house with the kids and the adults all went out for dinner and drinks in the city.
And of course I was thrilled that Abi had somehow been invited to join us. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Abhishek, he seemed genuine enough. But his sudden presence had me on edge. It could be the combination of me falling out of grace with my wife and him swooping in and altering her attitude. But I brushed off the thought as Krishna placed her hand on my lap and leaned in closer to me.
The limo held Liam and Jayda, Leah and Eric, Alex and Samuel, Mackenzie, Krishna and I. I was anxious to get to the restaurant because my niece Mackenzie looked miserable being the odd woman out. It was a long ride and I had managed to block out the conversations being had around me. It wasn’t until Mackenzie shrieked that I realized we had arrived at the restaurant and Nathan was holding open the limo door. I watched my niece embrace her husband. It was a scene as everyone paused in their tracks. He pulled her closer lifting her from the ground and spinning her. She squealed with delight as he settled her back down gently pressing his lips to her forehead.
“Looking good, Unc!” Nathan pulled me in for a hug. I admittedly had issues with him dating and then hastily marrying my niece, more because of my issues than his own. But in the end I couldn’t imagine a better man to be her husband and father to their daughter and I’m grateful that he didn’t back-off when I told him too.