by Fanny Parkes
I, as in duty bound, had made my salam to Shubbeah Begum, and was in attendance in the zenāna to receive the bridegroom’s party.
‘Women of the lower class, on entering the female assembly, must not say “salam”; if the hostess be a lady of rank, they perform kudumbosee (the ceremony of kissing the feet) to her and merely make salam to the rest. When going away they request permission, in the same way as the men in the male assembly, and take their departure.
‘Kudumbosee, or the ceremony of kissing the feet, is, rather, to touch the feet of the hostess with the right hand and then kiss the latter or, more generally, make salam with it; while her ladyship, scarce allowing it to be done, out of politeness and condescension withdraws her foot; and, taking hold of her hands, says, “Nay, don’t do that!” or “Enough!” “Long may you live!” “Come, be seated!” Or, if she be married, “May God render your sohag durable!” i.e. May God preserve your husband: if he be dead, “May God cause your end to be happy!”
‘The men of the better ranks of society however, when coming in or going away, say, “Salam, bundugee tuslemat!” i.e. “My blessing, service or salutation to you!” according to the rank of the lady of the house.
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Speaking of men entering a zenāna, the place is considered so sacred that, in a native family, only the nearest male relatives, the father and grandfather, can unrestrainedly obtain admission; the uncles and brothers only on especial occasions. The bride was once allowed to be seen by the brothers of Mirza Selīm, her betrothed husband; but he requested that no other persons but Colonel and Mr James Gardner might behold her and said, after marriage, he should not allow her to be seen even by his own brothers.
The trays containing the presents, brought in procession from the Prince, were received by the female slaves, conveyed by them into the zenāna and placed before Colonel Gardner’s begum and the Princess Mulka. It is a custom never to send back an empty tray; if money be not sent, part of the contents of the tray is left, fruit, flowers, etc. The presents were displayed on the ground before the bride, who was sitting on a chārpāī, wrapped in an Indian shawl, hiding her face and sobbing violently; I thought she was really in distress, but found this violent sorrow was only a part of the ceremony. Mulka Begum took a silver bowl, and putting into it sandalwood powder and turmeric and oil, mixed it up, whilst both she and Colonel Gardner’s begum repeated with great care the names and titles on both sides; it being unlucky if any name be forgotten, as any evil that may chance to befall the bride hereafter would be occasioned by forgetfulness, or mistaking the name over this oily mixture. The bride was well rubbed from head to foot with it; how yellow it made her, the turmeric! The natives say it makes the skin so beautiful, so yellow, and so soft: it certainly renders the skin deliciously soft, but the yellow tinge I cannot admire. After this operation was performed, all the mixture was scraped up, put into the bowl and mixed with more oil to be sent to the Prince, that his body might be rubbed with it – this is considered a compliment!
The bridal dress was then put on Shubbeah; it was of yellow gauze, trimmed with silver; the pājāmas of red satin and silver. The faces of the attendants were smeared by way of frolic with the oily mixture, and the bridegroom’s party returned to their tents. I must not forget to mention that from the moment the bride is rubbed with this turmeric, she is a prisoner for ten days; not allowed to move from her chārpāī, on which she sits up or sleeps. Twice a day she is rubbed with almond soap, mixed with turmeric, etc. All this time she is never allowed to bath. She is fed on sweetmeats and not allowed to touch acids or vinegar, etc. Even pān is almost denied; but I fancy, without it an Asiatic lady would fret herself to death. And in this horrible state, a girl is kept during all the gaiety of the wedding; never allowed to move; to make her skin soft and yellow and to render her sweet-tempered, I suppose, by feeding her with lumps of sugar!
As soon as the bridegroom’s party were gone, Colonel Gardner requested me to go in procession with his pretty granddaughter Alaida (the Morning Star), to the Prince’s tents, to escort the dress of the bridegroom, sent as a present by the bride. We went accordingly in full procession, as described before, taking back the oily mixture. Mulka Begum received us at the Prince’s tent; he was placed on a silver footstool; Mulka took off his upper dress and rubbed his face and arms with the mixture; she then arrayed him in a dress of yellow and orange muslin, a red turban, and red silk pājāmas, in which attire he looked very handsome.
Before him sat three women, the Domnee, playing and singing bridal songs; I saw the Prince turn very red; he looked at the women and said something, in a low tone, to Mulka Begum, who answered – ‘The memsāhib knows they are singing gālee (abuse); but she does not understand Hindustani sufficiently to comprehend their songs.’ The language of the songs is complete slang. Yellow powder, mixed with water, was then thrown in frolic at all the people; I made my salam, quitted the tent, and finding a gentleman in waiting ready to drive me back, returned to Colonel Gardner’s, leaving the rest of the party to play and sing all night. Thus ended the first day of the ceremonies.
At the festival of the Hoolī which is particularly dedicated to Krishna, images of the deity are carried about on elephants, horses, in palkees, etc. The songs are exclusively in honour of Krishna, and hailing the return of the season, personified under the name of Vasanta, generally pronounced Bessant. Kāma, the god of love, is the son of Krishna.
The Hoolī was celebrated by the natives with due glee; they threw abeer (red powder) into each other’s faces and then squirted orange-coloured water over it; people were also sent on April-fool errands. Colonel Gardner avoided appearing amongst the people during this festival, and I imitated his example. The orange-coloured water is tinged with the flowers of the dhāk tree; the abeer is flour made from the singharra (water nut) and dyed with red sanders; the roots of the singharra are loosened by means of ropes fastened between two boats, with several men in each; and iron prongs are used in collecting them.
I mentioned to Colonel Gardner the songs of the women, the Domnee, who were in the tent, and the distress of the Prince. He said, ‘When marriages are negotiating, in particular, they are of the most unchaste description; they are admitted on occasions, but the nāch girls never; the songs of the Domnee are indecent beyond the conception of a European.’
Nāch women dance and sing before men and are not allowed to enter zenānas of respectability; but in all great establishments, such as Colonel Gardner’s and that of his son, the slave girls are formed into sets of dancing girls, to sing and play for the amusement of the begums.
Colonel Gardner remarked, ‘The songs of the nāch girls are never indecent, unless “by particular desire”, and then in representing the bearer’s dance – a dance which is never performed before ladies.’
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The Sāchak
WHEN THERE IS A MARRIAGE THEY MAY SING ALL NIGHT
March 28th – [ … ] After the bride and bridegroom had been rubbed a certain number of days with the oily mixture, the time appointed for the second day’s ceremonies arrived; which is called the sāchak. Mulka Begum and the prince arrived in procession. The bridegroom’s party were dressed out in all their bravery. The party of the bride wore their old clothes and looked as deplorable as possible. This was according to custom and therefore strictly observed. On this day it is the fashion for the bride’s mother to appear in an undress, and even that soiled! The procession consisted of elephants in all their crimson and gold trappings, led horses, English and Arab; nalkīs, a sort of litter used by people of rank, palanquins, and raths, (native bullock carriages,) etc. A number of men dressed up as horses were prancing about, kicking and playing antics, and two hundred earthen vessels (gharas) filled with sweetmeats, which looked very gay from being covered with silver-leaf, were carried on the heads of two hundred men.
The platforms for the nāch women were the most curious part of the procession. They are called takhti-rawān, a sort of travelling thro
ne, formed of bamboo, square in form, over which was spread an awning ornamented with crimson and gold and silver, and supported by four bamboos, one at each angle of the platform. On each travelling throne sat a native musician playing on a kettledrum, and before him danced two nāch women; the girls twirled and nāched with all their might and skill. The platforms were carried on the heads of a number of men in the procession, and had a curious and singular effect; the situation was a very unsteady one for the dancing girls, one of whom became giddy and tumbled down upon the heads of the crowd of people below. In this fashion ten stands, containing twenty nāch girls and ten musicians, were carried on men’s heads to the sound of kettledrums. When Mulka had brought in the procession and the company were seated, atr of sandalwood was put on each person’s face and a necklace of silver tissue around their necks. The same three vile old women began their songs of abuse; abusing the prince, the begums, and myself; but as it was the custom, no one could be angry. I could only guess the sort of abuse; I could not understand it, never having heard it before. The prince’s yellow dress, now quite dirty, was on him still; according to custom, over it was put on a dress of cloth of gold and crimson. In front of his turban the jewelled jika was placed, and on his arms valuable bāzubands – armlets of precious stones. All this time the poor little bride was kept in her oily attire on her chārpāī and not allowed to stir. She only heard the noise and uproar of the procession. Mulka’s dress was very elegant.
The Mehndī – the Third Day
March 29th – The mendhī is the tree, Lawsonia inermis, from the leaves of which the hinnā dye is produced: the leaves are gathered and pounded; when put on the hands and feet and allowed to remain an hour or two, it produces a dark brownish red dye, which is permanent for four or five months; the hands and feet, both of men and women, thus dyed are reckoned beautiful. It is remarkable that female mummies have the nails stained with mendhī.
A number of trays of this prepared mendhī were carried on men’s heads, covered with embroidered velvet: they were sent from the bride to dye the bridegroom. This was the grand display on the part of the bride’s friends, who all, dressed in all their most costly attire went, at eleven at night, in procession from Khasganj to the Prince’s tents. The road was enclosed with bamboo screens, all lighted up with thousands of small lamps; fireworks were let off in profusion and the triumphal arches across the road were all illuminated; five thousand torches were carried by men to light the procession. The begum herself was there in her pālkee, the curtains all down and fastened; the ladies in a long line of native carriages, called raths; the boys in different sorts of native pālkees, the men, handsomely dressed, on elephants. I went in an amārī, on an elephant; the amārī is a litter with two seats, covered by two canopies; when the seat on an elephant is open, without a canopy, it is called a howdah. Mr T—, a friend, accompanied me; we sat in the front seat and a native gentleman occupied the seat at the back. The elephant was a very large one; we were a great height from the ground and had a good view, being above the smoke of the blue lights. The native gentleman amused us by his astonishment at Mr T—’s not being a married man; my friend told him he wished to marry, but how could he without seeing the lady? The Asiatic said that was impossible; but could he not depend on his female friends to see and select for him? Mr T— deputed me to select a wife for him; the native gentleman thought him in earnest and said, when every thing was arranged, I might show Mr T— her picture before they were married. In this manner weddings are made up; it would be the height of indelicacy to suppose a girl could have a choice, she marries just anyone whom her friends select. The led horses, in their gay native caparison, looked so well amongst the blue lights; and the handsomest of all was Candidate, an imported English horse, formerly the property of Major P—; Rattler, another English horse, sixteen hands high, whom I had ridden several times was also there. They were so quiet and well-behaved in the crowd and amongst the fireworks, much more quiet than the native horses.
The ten platforms, containing the twenty nāch girls and the kettledrum players carried on men’s heads, were also there. The effect of the gay dresses of the women, as they twirled and attitudinised, was good by torchlight. Some of the girls, who were horrors by daylight, looked pretty by the artificial light, at a distance. It took two hours to go with the procession the four miles through the village of Khasganj to the tents. All the inhabitants were either on the road or on the roofs of their houses, and we were attended by thousands of people: such a crowd, we could scarcely move forwards. On our arrival at the tents we found Mulka Begum’s tent prepared for the reception of the females of our party. It was in utter darkness. In front fine bamboo screens were let down which, inside, were covered with thin white muslin. Through this parda, from the inside of the tent, you could see what was going on without, where everything was brilliantly lighted, whilst we were in complete darkness. From without you could not see into the tent in the slightest degree. These screens are called pardas, and the women who live within them, parda nishīn, secluded behind the curtain. In front of the tent was pitched a very large shamiyāna, a canopy, supported on every side by high poles; white cloths were spread on the ground. In the centre was seated the young Prince on his gaddī (throne of the sovereign), most beautifully dressed and looking very handsome. His four ill-looking brothers were next to him. On a plain gaddī, by his side, sat Colonel Gardner and myself; and all the English and native gentlemen were seated on either side. In front, were one hundred nāch women, the best to be procured, brought, at an immense expense, from great distances; six or eight of these girls danced at a time and were relieved by another set. Around were countless numbers of natives in all their gayest dresses: and still further back were many elephants, on which people had mounted to get a sight of the tamāshā. When the preparations within were ready, Colonel Gardner took me, his son, and the five princes within the tent; a screen (parda) was drawn across part of the tent, behind which were some native ladies, whom it would have been improper the men should have seen, they not being their relatives. The Prince was placed on a low silver seat and fed with sugar; the amusement appeared to be, as you offered the sugar and the Prince attempted to take it in his mouth, to snatch away your hand. The ladies behind the parda also put forth their hands to feed him with sugar; he tried to catch their hands, and having succeeded in catching the hand of one of the girls who was teasing him, he tried to draw off her ring, and in the struggle she was nearly pulled through the parda!
A silver bason was brought, and from it Mulka Begum, Alaida, and her sister, the Evening Star, put the menhdī on the Prince’s hands and feet, and washed it off with water, which they poured from a silver vessel of the most classical and beautiful shape I almost ever beheld. A turban of green and gold, ornamented with brilliants and precious stones, was placed on his head; he was then dressed in a dress of kimkhwab (gold brocade), a red and gold cumerbund, green pājāmas, and a ring and armlets of great value and beauty were also put upon him. Sherbet was given to him and all the guests to drink, and their mouths were wiped with a sort of napkin of red and gold cloth by the cup-bearer.
Into the sherbet tray each guest put a gold mohur, the perquisite of the girls who had put the menhdī on the Prince. Afterwards, a slave-girl brought a silver vessel with water; water was poured over the hands of the guests, each of whom put four or five rupees into the bowl; this was given the Domnee, the same three old women who in one corner were singing all the time. Necklaces of the fresh flowers of the yellow jasmine were thrown over the neck of the prince and the guests. After these ceremonies were completed, the Prince and Colonel Gardner quitted the tent. I remained with the begum. A ceremony was then performed that surprised me considerably; the native ladies laughed, and appeared to think it high tamāshā.
It was now dinner time, being midnight. The inner pardas of the tent were let down and lights were brought in. A white cloth was spread on the ground in front of the begum’s gaddī, upon which eight large round d
ishes of earthenware were placed. These were filled with boiled rice mixed with almonds and many good things, very pleasant food. These dishes are always prepared at Asiatic weddings, as bride-cake is always an attendant on the same ceremony in Europe. The rice was piled up high, and silvered all over with silver leaf, and a tuft of silver ornamented the top. Silvered food is much used by natives; and in helping a dish, if you wish to pay a compliment, you send as much gold and silver leaf as you can. At weddings the food is served in earthen vessels, instead of the silver vessels commonly used because, when the repast is over, the remainder of it, vessels and all, are given away.
Of course, according to Asiatic custom, we all sat on the ground. The begum said, ‘What shall we do? we have no knives and forks for the bībīsāhib.’ I assured her my fingers were more useful than forks. She sent me a large dish, well filled and well silvered. I bowed over it, saying in an undertone to myself, ‘Jupiter omnipotens digitos dedit ante bidentes.’ The begum explained to the guests, ‘English ladies always say grace before meals.’ After holding forth my right hand to have water poured upon it, I boldly dipped my fingers into the dish and contrived to appease my hunger very comfortably, much to the amusement of the Asiatic ladies: but I found I could not get my fingers half so far into my mouth as they contrived to do; certainly the mode is ungraceful, but this may be prejudice. I looked at Mulka Begum, how far she pushed her delicate fingers down her throat – wah! wah!