Against the Wall (A Bad Boy Romance)
Page 5
I winced. “I wasn’t trying to keep the connection from you. No one knows about it. Mom worried that I would be in danger if anyone ever found out, so she made me swear to not tell.”
“Then why did you call me that night? Why not have it taken care of? I would think an attack would be a good reason to make that connection known.”
“Because you make me feel safe. You make me feel more than that. I’ve wanted you since the moment I opened my door that day. I wasn’t lying about that. I guess I just wanted some alone time with you. Was that so wrong?”
“You put yourself in jeopardy just to have some quality time with me?” he asked.
“Maybe.” I bit my lip.
“And you didn’t think of just asking me out on a date?”
“Would you have accepted?”
He hesitated.
“That’s what I thought.” I frowned. “So, was our time together just because of our circumstances? Would you have walked away after the deck was finished and never looked back?”
His stared at me, but didn’t answer. That was answer enough for me. Here I’d been falling in love, and I’d just been convenient for him. I should have known. What would a guy like Grady want with someone like me? I had very little experience with men, and I’d thought surely he felt the same about me. Maybe sex was always that hot with him, no matter who he was with.
I fought back tears as I looked at him for what I knew would be the last time. My throat ached from the need to cry and I managed to get myself under control long enough to tell him to go.
“You’ve done your job,” I told him. “I’ll have your check couriered to your house after they release me from the hospital.”
“So, that’s it?” he asked.
“You obviously don’t want to be here with me, Grady. I’m not going to force you to do something you don’t want to do.”
He nodded and stood. “I’ll leave your key on the counter after I collect my things.”
As he walked out the door, I allowed myself to cry. Sobs racked my body as I cried for everything I’d ever wanted, and knew I’d never have. Because the only man I’d ever love was Grady, and he thought I was some spoiled princess who was too far above him. And there wasn’t a damn thing I knew to do to fix it.
By the time they released me the next morning, my stomach was aching. I didn’t want to go home to an empty house. I called a friend to take me home, who asked more questions than I wanted to answer. She dropped me in the driveway and I dug through the purse Grady had brought to the hospital to find my keys. When I let myself in, I was surprised the living room was put back in order. I made my way back to the kitchen and found all of the glass cleaned up too.
Had Grady taken care of it? And if so, what did it mean? Would someone who didn’t care take the time to do that?
Upstairs, I stopped at my old room. The sheets were folded and stacked on the bare mattress, and I wondered if Grady had washed them to remove the taint of what had happened. In my bedroom, I face planted on the bed and breathed in his scent on the sheets. Tears sprang to my eyes and I worried that I would miss him the rest of my life. Wanting to keep my promise of payment, I went back downstairs and wrote him a check in the amount we’d agreed upon for him guarding me in addition to the amount for the deck. Then I called a courier service and had it delivered to him.
It felt so final… and my heart broke further.
Chapter Seven
Grady
Two weeks had passed since I’d left the hospital, and walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me. There was no way it would have lasted, or at least that’s what I told myself often. The look in her eyes as I’d shut her out had nearly destroyed me. She was safe now, though, in her big house with all her rich friends. She didn’t need me anymore. Her check had arrived the next day without so much as a note. It told me all I needed to know. She was moving on and that was what I needed to do. Just as soon as I figured out how.
My friends had talked me into hanging out at the local bar for drinks, which had quickly turned into them trying to get me laid. Something I wasn’t interested in. I could still remember Madelyn’s scent when I closed my eyes at night. I’d cashed her check, not because I wanted to but because I was desperate for food and air conditioning. I’d replaced all the units in my house and had stocked the fridge with beer and the pantry with quick meals to make. The beer interested me more than the food.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” my buddy Rob groused. “Since when do you turn down easy pussy?”
Since Madelyn. Not that I was going to tell him that.
My other friend, Sam, just shook his head. “Can’t you tell the guy is brokenhearted? Whatever had him MIA a few weeks back did a number on him. I’m guessing it was a woman.”
“That right?” Rob asked as he took a swig of his beer. “You hung up on some woman?”
I shrugged and stared at my beer. Madelyn wasn’t just some woman, but neither of these guys would understand. We’d grown up together, and I couldn’t see either of them being sympathetic that I fell for a girl from the other side of the tracks. We’d always steered clear of those type of women, and for good reason. They might want to walk on the wild side every now and then, but at the end of the day they married doctors and lawyers. Not broke handymen.
“Whatever is in your head, throw it out,” Sam said. “I can tell you really like this woman. So what the hell are you doing sitting here with us?”
“She’s better off without me.”
Sam shook his head. “Bullshit. You’re a great guy, Grady. Did you tell her that you’d won the Medal of Honor when you were a Marine? Chicks dig that shit.”
“What does it matter?” I asked. “I’m not a Marine anymore. I’m just the handyman who lives on the questionable side of town in a house that’s falling apart. What the hell could I offer her?”
“Your heart?” Sam asked softly. “Because I’m pretty sure you already gave it to her. Look, we all fall for that perfect girl, the one we can never have. But maybe this time she’s not as unattainable as you think. Instead of sitting here missing her, why don’t you haul your ass out to your truck and go talk to her?”
Rob snorted. “Nothing good will come of it.”
“Shut up, asshole,” Sam said. “Just because Wendy won’t give you the time of day doesn’t mean you need to tell Grady his love is doomed.”
Rob shot him the bird.
“You really think she’d even speak to me after the way I left?” I asked.
“You won’t know unless you try,” Sam said.
I downed my beer and stood, maybe a little unsteady. Should I drive? I thought about Madelyn and the urge to see her grew until I couldn’t deny myself just a glimpse. I pulled my keys from my pocket and went out to the parking lot to climb into my truck. I drove slow on the way to Madelyn’s, the lines on the road blurring a little. When I pulled up out front of her house, the driveway was empty and the living room lights were on.
Stumbling out of my truck, I slammed the door and walked up to the house. I rang the bell and weaved on my feet while I waited for her to appear. I just need one look at my regal princess, just one look to take away the loneliness I’d been feeling.
“Madelyn!” I yelled out.
The volume on the TV went up higher and I frowned. She had to know it was me. Was she really done with me? Had I screwed up so bad that she didn’t even want to see me anymore? I rang the bell and beat my fist against the door, but still she didn’t answer.
I heard a car pull up and I turned around, my eyes widening in surprise at the officer that stepped out of the black and white vehicle.
“Son, is there a problem?” the older officer asked.
“She won’t talk to me,” I mumbled. “Just want to see her.”
“I suggest you sober up before you talk to her.” He looked from me to the truck and back again. “You drive here in that condition?”
I didn’t confirm or deny.
The officer sighed. “All right. I say we let you sleep it off in the drunk tank tonight. You can come talk to your girl tomorrow, when you’re not so drunk you can’t stand up straight.”
When he led me by the arm to his waiting car, I didn’t protest. I glanced back longingly at the house and saw the blinds move, knowing that she saw me. The officer shoved me into the backseat and slammed the door before climbing behind the wheel and pulling away. I’d spent a night or two in the drunk tank before, but never because of a woman.
The precinct wasn’t far and we arrived faster than I would have liked.
There were three other guys in the cell when he shoved me inside. Two were snoring loudly and the other was singing “Oklahoma” off-key. I plopped my ass down and slammed my head back against the cinder block wall. Of all the ways I’d thought I’d spend my night, in jail had never crossed my mind. I’d hoped to be reunited with Madelyn, in her bed, all night long. Instead, she’d called the cops on me. Guess that told me all I needed to know. She didn’t want a damn thing to do with me.
When morning came, and my head felt like someone was hammering at my skull, my buddy Sam picked me up and took me back to my truck. I tried not to look at her house as I got in and drove home. She’d made her choice. If she didn’t want anything to do with me, then I wouldn’t taint her house with my presence. It sucked ass, but I wasn’t going to force myself on her. I loved her, dammit. Loved her more than I’d ever loved anyone, and she didn’t love me back. I knew I was never going to get over Madelyn. She was a once in a lifetime kind of woman, and I’d fucked up because I’d turned chicken shit at the hospital. Now I had to live with it.
Sam pulled up behind me at my house. “You need some company?”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Does that mean you’ll be drowning your sorrows? Because that isn’t going to get you some steady work. She may have paid you for the job at her place, but that doesn’t mean the money will last forever. You need to work, Grady. It might take your mind off things.”
I nodded. “I have some calls to return. Maybe I’ll do that.”
“I’m just a call away if you decide you want company.” Sam got back in his truck and pulled away.
I let myself into the house and pulled out my cell phone. Three people had called in the last few days wanting quotes for anything from a fence to adding on a nursery to their master suite. I didn’t know if they were referrals from Madelyn or not. I hadn’t asked, and I didn’t know that I wanted to. I lined up some quotes for the next two days and tried to keep busy, tinkering around the house when I wasn’t working. The next few days passed quickly, but the ache in my chest didn’t go away.
She’d kept her promise. Two of the quotes had come from people Madelyn knew. She’d told them what a great job I’d done on her deck and now they wanted me to help with their projects. I should have been thrilled because they were expensive jobs that would bring in a good amount of cash. But all I could think about was Madelyn, and how much I missed her.
I spent two weeks adding a room onto the master suite for one of her married friends, and then moved on the fence project that was going to take another week. I’d been on the job five days and was nearly finished when a shadow fell across me. I looked up the long tan legs to the barely-there bikini and finally settled on her face. Her lips were pursed and her hands were on her hips.
“I’ve done everything I can think of to get your attention,” she said.
“Did you need something?” I asked, dropping my hammer into the toolbox and standing.
“I’ve practically been throwing myself at you.”
Oh. I wasn’t certain how to respond to that. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attractive, but she wasn’t Madelyn. I scratched the back of my neck and stared down at her, not knowing what to say.
“You love her, don’t you?” she asked softly. “She said you didn’t want her, but that’s not true.”
“Madelyn doesn’t want me.”
“Madelyn is scared shitless right now,” she said. “And just so you know, she’s not the one who had you arrested. Her neighbor called the cops.”
I shrugged. She still hadn’t come out to see me. What was the difference?
“I think you need to see her,” the woman said.
What was her name? Brittany? Bethany? Something with a B in it.
“She doesn’t want to see me.” I picked up my tools. “I’ll come by in the morning. I might be able to finish tomorrow afternoon.”
“She misses you. I know you don’t believe me, but she does. I was supposed to meet her tonight for dinner at her place. She said she’d leave the front door unlocked around seven o’clock.”
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
“Because I think that gives you enough time to go home and shower and surprise her.”
I snorted. “And get arrested for breaking in?”
“It’s not breaking in if the door is unlocked. Just go see her. Believe me, you need to.”
With that cryptic message, I hauled ass out to my truck and drove home. The last thing I needed to do was go to Madelyn’s and have her call the cops. Despite what her friend said, I seriously doubted she wanted to see me.
But what if she does?
Indecision weighed heavy on me. After I showered at home, I stared at my wallet and keys and finally decided that I was going to confront Madelyn and hear it straight from her lips whether or not she wanted me to leave her alone.
I could only hope she’d missed me as much as I’d missed her.
* * *
Madelyn
Bridget was due any minute and I was tossing the salad when I heard the front door open. My stomach gurgled and I wasn’t sure if it was from hunger or if I was about to throw up again. Whoever called it morning sickness was an asshole, because it was all damn day sickness. When Grady had left, he’d left a little something behind. My eyes misted as I thought about him. I’d kicked myself for not opening the door the night he’d shown up, even if he had sounded drunk off his ass. I knew he’d never hurt me.
The front door open and shut. “I’m in the kitchen,” I called out.
The clunking steps that drew nearer didn’t sound like Bridget. Unease skittered down my spine, and I nearly cried with relief when Grady stepped into the room. He looked so damn good. My knees went a little weak just looking at him and my heart raced in my chest.
“Grady,” I said in almost a whisper.
“Your friend suggested I come in her place,” he said as he came closer. “But if you want me to leave, I’ll turn around and head out right now.”
I shook my head. “Stay.”
“I’m sorry for showing up drunk. I just wanted to see you.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t open the door. I was just so hurt from you leaving me the way you did, but after you left I’d wished I’d let you in. I didn’t mean for the neighbors to call the cops on you.”
“They were trying to protect you.”
“I don’t need protecting from you.”
He smiled a little.
“I made lasagna and a spinach salad. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
I picked up the salad bowl and carried it over to the kitchen table, where the lasagna was already waiting, along with two place settings and two glasses of sweet tea. He claimed the seat he’d used during the days he’d spent with me and I took the other as butterflies erupted in my stomach. Grady was here. He was really here. I needed to tell him that he was going to be a daddy, but I thought I should at least wait until after dinner. The man needed to eat and he could very well bolt out the door when I said something.
I fixed our plates and watched as he took a bite, his eyes closing and a look of bliss on his face.
“You’re a damn good cook, princess. Why didn’t you make this while I was staying here?”
“I wanted to spend more time with you and not in the kitchen cooking.”
He nodded.
“
Grady, I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too, princess. So damn much.”
He reached over and took my hand. I trembled just from that slight touch and nearly cried with how much I’d missed him. Stupid pregnancy hormones.
We ate and took turns staring at one another. It felt so right having Grady with me again. I hoped that maybe this time he wouldn’t run off and leave me. Just because he’d surprised me tonight didn’t mean he was here for the long haul. And now I had more than just me to worry about. I needed to do whatever was right for my baby. Was that why Bridget had set this up? Had she told him about me being pregnant? My stomach knotted and a moment later I bolted out of my chair and ran for the downstairs bathroom, barely making it before I lost what little I’d eaten.
“Madelyn?” Grady stopped in the bathroom doorway and then he was holding my hair and rubbing my back. “Jesus. Are you okay? Have you been sick?”
“Not sick,” I croaked before throwing up again.
When I was finished, he helped me rinse my mouth and sat on the floor, pulling me into his arms. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and just cuddled me.
“Madelyn, are you pregnant?” he asked, and I felt like the bottom fell out. Moment of truth.
“Yes.”
He nibbled my near. “And it’s mine?”
I nodded.
“Were you going to tell me?” he asked.
“I didn’t know how. You didn’t want me, so why would you want a baby?”
He cursed. “I’m sorry, princess. I never should have made you feel like you weren’t wanted. I’ve missed you every damn day I’ve been gone. And I want this baby.” His hand cupped my stomach. “I want both of you.”
“You’re not just saying that?” I asked.
“No, princess. I’m not just saying that. Don’t you know?”
“Know what?”
“How much I love you.”
My eyes teared as I clung to him. “I love you too, Grady. So much. I nearly died when you walked out of my hospital room. I thought I’d never see you again.”