Mad About Moon

by Melissa Foster

She nodded as tears fell from her eyes. “I just need time to process this.” Her eyes fell to the picture again. “Do you really think…? He looks just like Brian’s baby pictures, too. Not that you and Brian looked anything alike—you didn’t—but I guess you guys did as kids, because…” She held up the picture and shook her head.

  JED FELT LIKE he had a knife in his gut, twisting with every tear Josie shed. He didn’t mean to cause her so much pain, but he couldn’t just let this lie. “I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…He might be my boy, Little Red. Our boy.”

  She nodded as tears slicked down her cheeks. “I know. I just need to think. There’s so much guilt wrapped up in this, and I know that’s not your problem, but…I need to think.”

  “You’re wrong, babe. Anything that affects you and Hail affects me, remember? Your guilt, my guilt, it’s all wrapped up in one tangled web.”

  His phone rang. He ground out a curse as he pulled it from his pocket. His mother’s name flashed on the screen. That last thing he needed was to hear her pleading for cigarettes or alcohol. “It’s my mother.”

  “Then answer it,” she said. “I’m too conflicted to think straight anyway.”

  He debated letting it go to voicemail, but like an idiot, he still held out hope that Crystal’s pregnancy might change their mother’s outlook. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll be quick.” He put the phone to his ear. “Yeah?” The sound of his mother sobbing twisted that knife in his gut. “Mom?” he said louder. “Calm down.”

  “Jeddy,” she sobbed. “Jeddy, please come get me.”

  “Mom…” He didn’t want to leave Josie, not now. Not tonight.

  “I need you,” she slurred. “I blacked out. Jeddy. I got no way home.”

  What else is new? He watched Josie, staring at the picture with fear and love in her eyes, and knew he had to make a choice. Was he going to spend his life picking up the pieces of his mother’s life or be here for the woman and child he loved?

  Before he could say another word, his mother said, “I’m ready to go…to rehab.”

  Christ. He couldn’t turn her down, no matter how big the battle going on in his mind—and his heart—was.

  “Okay,” he relented. “Where are you?” He listened to her cryptic description, and when he ended the call, he knelt in front of Josie and took her hand in his, gazing into her sad eyes.

  “I’m sorry, Moon,” she said shakily. “I don’t know what to do. This is the biggest double-edged sword I’ve ever experienced.”

  He gathered her in his arms and said, “It’s okay, babe. I think my mom is willing to go to rehab. I have to go find her—”

  “That’s great,” she said with both a smile and tears.

  “Yeah, maybe. But her timing sucks. I don’t want to leave you.”

  “It’s okay. I need space to think anyway.”

  Aw fuck. That can’t be good. “I’ll stay at my place tonight. Is it still okay if I come for the party tomorrow?”

  “What?” Fresh tears spilled from her eyes. “You don’t have to stay at your place.”

  “Thank fucking God.” He cradled her face between his hands and said, “I love you, Jojo. I’m so sorry. But I have no idea how late I’ll be tonight, and I don’t want you waiting up. If she really lets me take her to rehab, it’s going to be hours before we’re done. I’ll stay at my apartment.”

  She nodded. “Okay. Should you call someone to help you with your mom?”

  “I’m used to doing this alone, but I’ll call Quincy. If she’ll actually go to rehab, the facility Quincy went to is ready for her.” He kissed her again. “I’ll get in touch when things settle down. And, babe? I don’t want to upset Hail’s world, but if he’s my flesh and blood, I’d really like to know.”

  Chapter Twenty-One

  JOSIE SAT ON the couch trying to stop the tears from coming, but it was no use. She curled into a ball, wishing she knew what to do or where to turn. Sarah had always been there for her when they were young, and then Brian had taken over as her go-to voice of comfort and reason. Now she talked things out with Jed, but this was new, scary territory. She didn’t know how to navigate it, and she was pretty sure he didn’t, either. There was too much at stake to just plow forward and do something reckless.

  She needed a friend to talk to.

  I need a mother, she thought ruefully.

  She pulled out her phone and opened a message to Sarah. Sarah had always been able to think past their parents’ craziness and figure out a plan, and she needed her now more than ever. But as she stared at her phone, she froze with fear.

  She closed her eyes, telling herself she could handle this. One way or another, she would figure out what to do. Was it too late to text? Sarah was due in just under three weeks. Yesterday had been her last day at the salon until after the baby was born. If she decided to go back to work. Josie had a feeling her sister would stay home with her new baby, but she also knew that Sarah had a thing about standing on her own two feet and not relying on a man—even if that man was the wonderful, loving, and protective Bones Whiskey.

  It was strange how different she and Sarah were in that regard. She’d loved counting on Brian, and she loved being able to count on Jed.

  She sighed, hoping for strength as she sent Sarah a text. Are you still up?

  She flopped back against the cushions and noticed Jed’s coat draped over the arm of the sofa. She pushed to her feet, worried he’d be cold, but it was too late to catch up with him now. She picked up his coat to hang it up and another coat fell to the floor from beneath it. She set down Jed’s jacket and picked up the familiar chocolate-brown leather jacket. She held it up, confused by its smaller size and the new fur collar, but when she held it to her nose, inhaling deeply, she knew it was the jacket Jed had worn the night they’d met. It smelled like him. She slipped it on, put her hands in the pockets, and felt the cold heart-shaped stone.

  She nearly jumped out of her skin when her phone vibrated. She pulled it from her jeans pocket and read Sarah’s message. Yes. The baby is playing soccer inside me. Are you okay?

  She sank down to the couch and replied, No. Can you talk?

  Her phone rang a few seconds later.

  “What’s wrong?” Sarah asked in a hushed voice.

  The concern in her voice made Josie cry again. “Oh, Sarah.” Her words came out garbled and weepy.

  “Josie, what happened? Are you okay?” She heard Bones say something in the background. Then Sarah said, “Want us to come over?”

  That made her cry even harder. “No. Tell Bones to go back to sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

  “Heck, no. Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

  Josie closed her eyes as she said, “Remember how I told you that I knew Jed a long time ago?”

  “Yes.”

  “He thinks Hail might be his.”

  “Oh.” Surprise rang out loud and clear in her voice. “Well…is he?”

  “I don’t know!” She told her about that night all those years ago and said, “He has a picture of himself at that age, and they could almost be the same kid.”

  “Okay, Josie. Just relax. This is a lot to think about. Do you want to know for sure?”

  Josie shrugged.

  “Josie?”

  “Sorry. I don’t know. Yes and no. But Moon wants to know, and he deserves to know. I mean, how can I not take steps to find out if he’s Hail’s father? But if he is, how could I live with myself knowing Brian thought Hail was his child all along?” She pulled the leather jacket tight around her and curled up in the fetal position on the couch. “What will it do to Hail if Moon is his father? How confusing will that be? And if he’s not, what will that do to Moon? Can you help me figure out what to do? This is kind of like you and Bones, right?”

  “No, not really,” Sarah said. “The father Hail knew and loved wasn’t a jerk like my kids’ father was. You and Brian loved each other, and Brian adored Hail. It’s not the same situation as ours. But I understand where Je
d is coming from. He loves you and Hail. Everyone knows it. So for him, if Hail is his child, it’s icing on the cake.”

  “I know.” Tears slid over the bridge of her nose, and she closed her eyes tight to try to stop them from falling. “But if he is, there’s so much guilt…”

  “Oh, honey. Where’s Jed tonight?”

  “His mother called. He thinks he’s taking her to that rehab place Quincy went to.”

  “Hold on.” Sarah relayed the information to Bones about Jed and his mother. Then she said to Josie, “Bones is going to the rehab facility. He’s going to call Jed to find out where he is and have the other guys meet him.”

  “Really?” More tears spilled from her eyes. “That’s amazing. Jed said he was calling Quincy and he was used to doing it alone.”

  “Jed spent years navigating troubled waters on his own. He’ll never have to do that again, and neither do we. I’m trying to think of who else might be able to help us think this through. Want me to call Red?”

  “No.” She closed her eyes and said, “What would you do if you were me? It’s not fair not to find out. But if he is Hail’s father, I’m going to feel so guilty for not realizing it all those years ago.”

  “Or maybe you’ll feel relieved knowing Hail has been blessed with two wonderful fathers and one is still around to care for him.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  AS THE SUN crept over the horizon Sunday morning, Jed tossed the last of the garbage bags of debris from his mother’s trailer into the dumpster. It had been a long, agonizing night. He’d tracked her down at a house just outside of town, on the other side of the bridge, in a house where several other people were passed out—from drugs or alcohol, he wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter. He’d found his mother wearing only a blanket, strewn across a dirty couch, mostly coherent but blitzed out of her mind. She’d sobbed through an account that had made Jed sick to his stomach. She’d blacked out and woken up naked. Her purse was missing, and she had no recollection of anything beyond drinking with friends she’d supposedly met while working at the convenience store. She’d finally hit rock bottom. As awful as it was, he’d been waiting for that moment. Taking her to rehab had been like getting an eight-hundred-pound gorilla off his back, even though he knew they had a long, hard road ahead of them.

  And that was assuming she stuck it out and made it through the program.

  With his mother safely locked away, he’d taken the opportunity to clear out her trailer.

  “What’s next?” Quincy asked.

  Jed had made two calls on the way to find his mother—one to Crystal and one to Quincy. Crystal hadn’t said much. He was pretty sure she didn’t think their mother would actually go into rehab once he’d found her. Bones had called him shortly after, and through Bones he’d learned that Josie had called Sarah. Even the nightmare with his mother hadn’t been enough to quell the anxiety and guilt he felt over what had transpired between them tonight. But thanks to her call, and Quincy’s friendship, he hadn’t had to face the further demise of his mother’s state alone after all. Quincy and several of the Dark Knights had shown up to support him, though Bear had stayed with Crystal. Once they knew what they were dealing with, Bullet and the other club members had gone on the hunt to track down the assholes who had brought his mother to that house and taken advantage of her. Bullet had texted a short while ago letting him know he’d found them and had retrieved Jed’s mother’s belongings.

  Jed didn’t want to know what they’d done to the assholes who’d led her there and stolen her things.

  “This is it,” he said to Quincy. “Thanks, man. I’m just going to call and check on Crystal, then head over to Jojo’s.” Bones and Quincy had stayed with him through the intake process, but Jed had sent Bones home to be with his family, and now he couldn’t wait to get back to his. He’d told Josie he’d stay at his place, but he needed to see her. To be with her. To hold her and work through the shit he’d stirred up between them.

  “You sure you’re okay?” Quincy asked.

  “I will be,” Jed said, feeling hopeful about his mother for the first time in years. They’d worked for hours to clean out the trailer, and it had been as cathartic as it was heartbreaking.

  “Addiction is a bitch, but at least she’s taken the first step. I know how hard that is.”

  “Yeah. I hope she does this, for Chrissy’s sake.”

  Quincy raised a brow. “For you, too, bro. It’s been a long, hard road for all of you. And recovery is no joke. It’s a battle, every fucking day. Eventually those battles get easier, but she’ll have this monkey on her back forever. Just being there for her will help. I’d like to visit her with you, when you go.”

  “I’d like that.”

  “As much as I want to say it’s to support her, it’s really for you. You’ve been there for me since the day we met.”

  “As you have for me.”

  They bumped fists and said, “Buds for life.”

  After a quick embrace, Quincy said, “Are we still on to move your stuff out of our place tomorrow night?”

  Jed nodded. “Yeah, man. Thanks.”

  His furniture had arrived this week, and he’d been excited to move in. But that excitement had waned with the turmoil between him and Josie. The house had already become theirs. He hoped to hell he hadn’t ruined their relationship by bringing up a paternity test and starting a discussion that shook her entire world.

  As Quincy climbed onto his motorcycle, Jed gazed back at the trailer where his life had fallen apart. They’d taken down the broken awning, tossed the indoor/outdoor carpeting, and cleared out the trailer. In his truck was a box full of items he’d found hidden among his mother’s belongings. Tucked away in the back of a sweater drawer were pictures of his parents, love letters his father had written to his mother, drawings Jed and Crystal had made in grade school, and two little wooden boxes containing their baby teeth. But the most surprising thing he’d found was tucked between the frayed pages of Goodnight Moon, the book his parents had read to them so many times when they were little, he could still hear their voices. Within those pages he’d found a completed application for a rehab facility located an hour away. It was dated the day of his father’s accident.

  He locked up the trailer, and as he climbed into his truck, he thought about how much his life had changed over the past six weeks. He had the urge to sell the trailer while his mother was in rehab, to really give her a fresh start. But that would never fly. She could check herself out any day. Only time would tell if she was strong enough to stick this out.

  His phone vibrated with a text from Crystal.

  He called her as he drove out of the complex. “Hey, Chrissy. It’s done. I cleaned it all out.” He told her about what he’d found and what he’d kept.

  “Do you think she was signing herself into rehab when she heard about Dad?”

  “I don’t know, but when the time is right, I’ll ask her.”

  “Do you think she’ll stay in rehab?”

  The hope in his sister’s voice tugged at his heart.

  “I hope so. But she needs support.” As the words left his lips, he thought about how much support he and Crystal had, how the Whiskeys and the Dark Knights had embraced Josie, her siblings, and all of their children, and in contrast, how little support his own mother had had. Guilt clung to him like a second skin as he questioned everything he’d ever done with regard to his mother. Could he have done anything differently? Helped her more? Pushed her to see the light?

  He focused on the road and said, “As soon as they allow visitors I’m going to see her.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  That surprised him. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. I’ll visit her with you.”

  In the background Bear yelled, “I’m going, too.”

  “Great. Thanks, to both of you. And, Chrissy, if she pulls this off, if she’s willing to try to stay clean, I want to help her get a fresh start, a place in Peaceful Harbor, a job, mea
ningful family visits. If she does this, I’m going to do everything I can to make it easier for her. I want to give her reasons to stay clean.”

  Another call rang through, and he glanced at the screen. “Crys, that’s Red. I’ve got to take it.”

  “Okay. She and Biggs came over for a while to stay with me and Bear. Love you, Jed.”

  “Love you, too.” He switched over to Red’s call. “Hi, Red.”

  “How’s my boy?” she asked.

  His throat thickened with all of the emotions he’d been holding back all night. “Okay, thanks. And thank you for going to see Crystal.”

  “Sweetheart, we are here for both of you. Whatever you need, whatever she needs, and you know, whatever your mother needs to come out the other side of this big, dark monster she’s facing, we’re here for all of you.”

  Tears stung his eyes as he drove toward the bridge into Peaceful Harbor. “Thank you, Red.”

  They talked for a few more minutes. He rolled down his window, letting the frigid morning air blast against his skin, trying to cleanse himself of the guilt and sadness that was consuming him.

  He was still thinking about Red’s call as he stumbled up to Josie’s door. It was seven thirty, and he wasn’t sure if Hail was awake yet, so he knocked softly. There was no answer. He peered through the window and saw Josie curled up on the couch, wearing the clothes she’d had on last night and the jacket he’d brought to give her. He’d run out in such a hurry, he’d forgotten about it. His heart swelled and ached at once.

  As if summoned by his thoughts, she lifted her head, her sleepy eyes found his, and then her eyes flew open. She shuffled toward the door, and when she pulled it open, Hail darted around her.

  “Moon!” Hail wrapped his arms around Jed’s legs and said, “Want to make waffles?”

  “Sure, bud. Give me one sec.”

  Hail ran for the kitchen, calling out, “I’ll get the waffle maker from the cabinet.”

  Scott came around the corner from the stairs to the basement wearing a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt, his hair askew, and said, “Guess we’re having waffles.”