His Jar of Hearts (A Broken Fairy Tale #3)

by S.P. Cervantes

  I know she always pretends to hate that nickname, but I can tell that right now she’s enjoying every bit of this as much as I am. Our playful, flirty relationship has now taken on an entirely new meaning, and I know this is something I could never get sick of.

  Kat

  “Heart’s on Fire”

  Joey’s intense blue eyes burn a hole directly into my soul, doing things to me that make me forget about anyone or anything but him. I can’t let myself fall for his games, and the voice that tells me this is a line he uses all the time is quickly silenced with the look he’s giving me. There’s no playful smile; there’s no wink that usually follows his flirty comments.

  No.

  His eyes say it all. He really does want to try to see if we can work. The only trouble is me. I still love Kevin. Even though I know he’s a cheater and a liar, I love him. But am I in love with him? No, I don’t think I am anymore, and the longer Joey looks at me this way, the more I’m beginning to think that I’ve been denying myself something that could be so much more than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

  I know I’m blushing and probably have blotches all over my chest when I notice Joey’s gaze move down my face and neck. I shift back in the couch, but Joey keeps my hand locked in his as he casually leans over, grabs some cheese from the plate and pops it in his mouth. The small smirk that peeks from his lips makes me relax again. Tonight is already such a rollercoaster that I’m not even sure how to act. I want us to be as comfortable as usual with each other, but it seems impossible right now. There’s so much sexual tension between us that it seems to be building up inside the both of us like a pressure cooker about to explode.

  Joey’s always charming and thoughtful, and of course handsome. But seeing him tonight, in this situation, knowing that I could kiss him right now if I wanted to, is like being next to a live wire. His sandy blonde hair is getting longer, and is swept back off his face in a way that makes me want to run my fingers through it, just like I’ve imagined so many times before. I think it’s going to be harder than I imagined to keep him at a distance tonight.

  I take in a deep, calming breath and release my hand from his. I reach for some of the snacks he has thoughtfully set out, needing to break free from his touch that’s beginning to make every cell in my body light on fire.

  “So, how long are you on duty this week?” I try anything I can to get the conversation back to something less confusing than this actually being a date.

  I pop the cheese in my mouth and he immediately snatches my hand back in his with a playful smile to remind me that this, indeed, is not one of our usual nights together. “The rest of the week until Saturday. Then I have two days off, and then I’m back on for another five.” He strokes the top of my knuckles with his thumb, and I feel it in my core. I have to take a sip of my wine to calm myself, and hope he doesn’t notice how much he’s affecting me right now. I’ve always had the upper hand with the two of us, and I don’t want that to change.

  “I still don’t get why you guys don’t just have night shifts and day shifts like doctors. It must be hard being away from home for so many days at a time. How do you ever feel settled?”

  I realize I’ve struck a chord with my question when Joey’s expression changes and I can feel his body tense up. “I’ve never ever really been settled in my life, so it’s not hard for me. I’ve always had two homes that I shuttled between. My parents have always traveled for long periods of time, leaving me behind and sending for me when they were away for holidays and all that shit.” He takes another drink and shrugs it off. “I’ve never wanted to be settled before now.” The way he says it makes me realize he means that he wants to be settled with me. Before I can say anything, he continues. “The guys at the firehouse are my family, and I feel at home when I’m there. Jess, Cam, Holden, Gage…” His eyes meet mine again and he sweeps my hair behind my ear. His fingers linger at my chin. “You…you are what makes me feel settled. I don’t know if it would ever feel normal to come home to the same house every night. As long as I have those things, I’m happy.”

  I smile, although my heart aches for him. I know how chaotic his life was growing up. As much as his parents do all they can to show him they love him, they have never really been around. Sure, they always came to everything important, but they weren’t there for the day-to-day stuff. Helen was. The voice in my head tells me to be the one to show him how good being settled feels.

  Just then, a buzzer jolts us from our conversation that keeps being feathered with sweet admissions of the feelings Joey has for me, and I have to say I feel grateful for the interruption. My head whirls with confusion and at least dinner will put some physical space between us. Because I can’t keep my head straight when he touches me.

  Tonight has been filled with unexpected surprises. First, Joey has completely shifted from being the most sarcastic human being I’ve ever met to spending the night showing me his more serious, thoughtful side that’s mostly reserved for special occasions or times of need. I expected Helen to have made tonight’s dinner, but instead Joey made everything himself, and I have to say it wasn’t half bad. He told me he learned how to cook from Helen after he got a job being a firefighter because they all took turns cooking when they were on duty. Apparently there are yearly competitions between firehouses in the area and his house has won several times. I’ve always thought of Joey as the spoiled, rich kid, but tonight, the more he talks about his job, the more I realize how much he really is just a normal Jersey boy. He is loyal to his friends, family, and community. He’s never wanted to be anything but a firefighter, and didn’t let his parents dissuade him from his career choice. All they asked was for him to get his degree first, and he did as they asked, and quickly shifted his focus to becoming a firefighter.

  I’m washing off the last of the dishes, while he’s out in the living room doing Lord knows what. I can tell he’s put a lot of thought into this date, without making it seem like a big production. He has bottles of my favorite wine on his bar; his refrigerator is packed with Diet Coke that he knows I love to drink before bed. He even made one of my favorite desserts, dark chocolate brownies, and seems to have made a playlist filled with many of the songs that we text to each other. My heart flutters at these thoughts, and I realize I need to leave before I act on any of the thoughts flooding my brain as I watch him in the reflection of the window move down the hallways towards me. This date is so much harder than any other I’ve ever been on because we know each other so well. It feels more like the hundredth date in some ways. But when he looks at me with those dominating blue eyes, or brushes his hand across mine, I feel as if I’m being touched for the first time.

  I intake a deep breath when I feel his hand wrap around my bare waist that peeks out from the hem of my shirt as he leans over and puts our glasses in the sink. I hope he doesn’t feel the way my muscles tense with pleasure at his intimate touch. “I thought we could have a drink on the deck before you go.” His voice is a whisper against my ear, and I can hear the desire mixed in his words.

  I straighten up and make the mistake of turning to face him. I meant to project confidence, but instead I’m completely taken over by the heady feeling that pulses through me. “Sure,” is all I could muster past my lips.

  He takes my hand and laces his fingers through mine to lead me out to the dimly lit deck. The lagoon glistens under the moonlight, and the only sounds are the faint noises from the water lapping against the dock mixed with the soft heartbreaking voices he has playing on the stereo in the background. I think it’s the same song he texted to me the other night, “Poison and Wine” and I try everything I can to make myself believe he doesn’t have this song playing for a purpose. But when he looks down at me, and meets my eyes with desire, I know he has.

  “Dance with me.”

  He doesn’t wait for me to respond. He gently pulls me close to him, and I know there’s no way to hide the way my heart is racing. I calm a bit when I rest my head against his c
hest, and can feel that he’s having the same reaction to me as I am to him.

  We both want this.

  The way he gracefully guides me across the deck, singing along to every word as if he’s trying to tell me something, makes me hold on tighter. I want him to know I feel the same way. Right now, here in his arms this way, I realize that I’ve probably loved Joey longer than I’ve wanted to believe. But knowing his history with women, I’ve put up that wall, not ever wanting to be just another number. If I ever gave him my heart, I would never, ever be the same again.

  When the song ends, I move to go sit over on the seats he has set up for us, but he doesn’t let me. “Kat.” He says my name as if it’s the one thing he needs to survive. He turns me back to him and lifts my chin so I have no choice but to be captivated by his intense eyes. He leans down and feathers a kiss on my lips. I want so much more. He pulls back, as if asking for permission. I don’t need to say anything. He can see it. He kisses me again, raking his fingers through my hair, pulling me into his kiss like a swirling black hole of pleasure. If there was ever a kiss that could make me lose it all, this is it. His tongue brushes across my lips, parting them, causing a moan of pleasure to escape when I oblige with need. His hands move down the sides of my body and all I want is for him to touch me everywhere. But I remind myself that I can’t move too fast with him, even though my body wants him everywhere.

  I’m dizzy with pleasure, not able to think of anything but how perfect this kiss feels. Although I’ve kissed Joey before, it’s never been like this because I’ve never let myself believe that his kiss means something. Being with Joey could be the one thing that could mend my broken heart.

  Joey

  “Give In To Me”

  I.

  Am.

  In.

  Trouble.

  The way my entire body reacts to the way Kat’s full lips feel against mine is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. Maybe it’s that this is the first time that we’ve kissed and known it’s actually meant something, maybe it’s because I’ve never let myself imagine anything more with her, but all I know now is that I don’t want it to ever end. Helen’s advice rings through me like an early morning fire alarm and I gather every bit of willpower I’ve ever had and pull back for a moment before I go in for one last peck on her lips. I smile when I pull away again and see a small frown form on her swollen lips that lets me know she’s feeling the same way. I’m sure this is probably more confusing for her than it is for me, and I should give her the time she’s asked for to realize how perfect we can be together.

  “I like kissing you,” I say truthfully as I think of all the places I wish I could kiss her. She looks away, and I can see the mixture of confusion and excitement across her face. I try to redirect our thoughts, so I take her hand and lead her over to the chairs set up overlooking the quiet water, not ready to let this night end quite yet. Our neighborhood is still relatively abandoned. Most of the homes on our street are vacation homes, with the exception of Cam and Holden’s house. This is my favorite time of year to be here. It always feels like my private oasis when I can see almost every star in the sky and the soft sound of the music mixes with the soft pattering of the water against the dock.

  Our casual conversation at dinner was the most relaxed Kat has been the entire night, and I don’t like the way she seems to keep closing me off. After that kiss, I have to know how she’s feeling about me. After just that one kiss, I feel as though I’ve changed. I feel as if everything has changed between us because I can’t imagine going another day without kissing her ever again. For the first time, I can imagine being with someone for the rest of my life. I don’t want to shut off my feelings again unless I have to.

  And.

  I.

  Don’t.

  Want.

  To.

  Kat sits in the chair next to me, pulls her legs up to her chest and smiles a smile that could break me. “I like kissing you too.” She finally speaks and I relax back in my chair, victorious. I want her to know that changing the meaning behind our relationship doesn’t mean we have to act differently with each other. She seems to put up a wall between us any time things turn intimate, and I want her to act with me the way she always has. I have to show her we can have it both ways. We can still be best friends and fall in love. I need her to open up to me like she always has.

  “I’m sure it’s something you’ve been dreaming about since you were fifteen.” I give her a sly smile before I take a swig from my drink and set it back on the table.

  She laughs and rolls her eyes, and I once again see the Kat I love. “Yeah, well, don’t get too confident. I’ve had lots of good kisses.” She takes a sip from her drink and has no idea how fucking sexy her eyes look as she peers over the rim of her glass, as if she’s challenging me. She’s so damn sexy and stubborn that it drives me mad.

  “Yeah, but mine’s the one you’ll be thinking about tonight in bed.” Just thinking of her lying in bed makes me hard. When I finally get my hands on her, I have no doubt it will be the only thing I’ll ever think about for the rest of my life.

  “You wish.” She giggles and it’s now my most favorite sound in the world.

  Holy hell, this woman has single-handedly turned me into a pussy in a matter of hours. “I have no doubt, Kat, because your lips on mine is all I’m going to be thinking about tonight.” I want her to know how completely she’s taken me over.

  Her challenging demeanor turns soft and she looks back out at the water and away from me. “Listen, Joey, you know I care about you. And I’m obviously attracted to you. But I just need you to know that I need time to be sure about us. There’s just so much history between us and things I know about you that I don’t know if I can forget.”

  “I can’t change my past, Kat, and I’m not going to apologize for it. But, I can promise that I will prove to you that my past is just that. I want my future to be so much more. I’ve told you before, I’ll give you time if you need it and won’t push things.” I wink at her when I see her struggle with what I just said. “I think I’ve been a really good boy tonight, don’t you?”

  She laughs and rolls her eyes again, and I know she’s relaxing again. “Yes, Joey, you’ve been a gentleman, which is surprising considering it’s you.”

  “So how about a second date Saturday night? It gives you a few days to fantasize about me, then you can see if I live up to your expectations. Just be ready for me to exceed them.” She laughs again and stands up. Crap! I hadn’t meant for this night to end so soon. I should have waited to ask her out again. “You don’t have to leave yet.” Double crap, that sounded too desperate.

  “I have an early meeting tomorrow with Todd’s parents. He’s been having some more trouble in school and they want me to help guide them to some resources to help them manage his mood swings. Poor kid, my heart just breaks for him sometimes. I’m hoping things are turning around for him, though. He went to his first party last week, and everything went really well. He even met a girl.” The caring look on her face makes me realize how lucky any kid would be to have her as their teacher, and how lucky parents of the children who she teaches are. They really should appreciate her more than they do, instead of calling her at all hours to solicit her help.

  “Alright, you can go, only if you answer my question.” I stand and take her hand in mine, needing to feel her skin on mine one last time before she leaves. When she wraps her fingers through mine and gives my hand a squeeze, it takes everything inside me from taking her right here, right now. I really do deserve an award for my restraint tonight.

  “I’ll go out with you Saturday, only because I know you’ll badger me to death if I say no.”

  Stubborn Kat. I expected nothing less.

  “I’ll pick you up at six. This time I’ll actually take you out.” I kiss her nose and walk her around to the front of the house.

  I love the way the crunching of the stones beneath our feet sound in the still night. It’s a reminder that
we are alone. I can’t help myself for another moment and do the one thing that keeps clouding my mind. I swing Kat up into my arms and grip her waist, press her up against the side of the house and kiss her hard, reminding her that I want to be her last thought tonight. There have been so many nights together on this street that I’ve wanted nothing more than to take her to a quiet place and feel her lips against mine, and this moment has made those fantasies seem more like child’s play. She reacts instantly, sliding her fingers through my hair, pulling me into her with unbridled passion. I let out a growl and grab her thigh, lift her leg up to the side of my waist as I press myself against her warm core. This is no ordinary kiss. No, this is a kiss that I’ll never forget.

  Our frantic pace slows and I slowly guide her leg down and take her face in my hands, kissing her softer than I knew was possible. The one soft kiss was filled with more emotion than I’ve ever felt, and I can see by the aching look in her eyes when I pull away that she felt it too.

  “Saturday night, six o’clock sharp,” I say as she straightens her stature again and steps ahead of me into the dimly lit street. The way the soft light of the street light glows behind her has me thinking things I’ve never thought of another woman before.

  “Sounds good. Thanks for dinner. It was decent,” she says with a sarcastic tone and turns to walk away without a glance back.

  “Try not to stay up too late thinking of me,” I yell after her, needing to see her smile one more time.

  She hears my silent wish and twirls around with a sly smile. “I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s not going to be able to sleep tonight, Joey.” She twirls back around and saunters down the street, surely for my pleasure, and all I can think is she’s right. All I’ll dream of tonight is her.