“I can’t believe this is my last week of school before summer starts.” I try to keep the topic on something benign.
Just then the soft classical song that was playing in the background changed to the one song that I wished he never added to his playlist, the one song that makes him flinch and pull away and put both hands on the wheel, white-knuckled.
“I hate this damn song,” he mumbles, twisting his hands up and down the steering wheel as he clenches his jaw when “Jar of Hearts” begins to play.
“I was hurt,” I say meekly. I know how harsh it was to send that message with no real explanation. Music was always Joey’s way of showing me how much he cares about me. I used it to cut his heart the way mine felt.
“I can’t change my past. My soul really did feel like ice before you, and I used women for my satisfaction, not love. But you changed all that, Kat. You’re all I want. You’re all I’ll ever need.
“I.
“Need.
“You.”
He’s breathless and so am I.
I reach over and run my fingers through his soft blonde hair, wishing we were closer to home. “I need you too, Joey. I’m sorry for leaving. You’ve never given me any reason to doubt you since we started dating. You’ve done nothing but make me feel loved every day, and I’m sorry for giving up so easily. I’ll never give up on us again. Ever.”
I can’t hold back the tears and lean over and kiss his neck. I’m forced to hold on tightly as he swerves over to the side of the road and throws the car in park. With one quick movement, he has me pulled across his lap and kisses me deeply, setting me on fire. “I’ve never loved anyone in my life the way I love you. Ever. If you run away from me, I’ll always follow you. I’ll never stop chasing you, Kat. I promise I’ll never do anything to make you doubt me again. You’re mine.”
He says the last two words with such conviction, if there ever was doubt, it’s been erased for good. Joey’s never been afraid to tell it straight. He’s always strong, never vulnerable. Seeing him this way makes what he’s just said all the more powerful.
I kiss his nose and slide back over to my side of the car. “Take me home.” I lean forward and flip through the songs until I reach the perfect one. When the song begins to play, I notice a confused look on Joey’s face. I smile over at him and kiss his cheek. “Just listen.”
“Ugly Love” by Griffin Peterson plays and I remember the day I first heard this song. I had just finished the book Ugly Love, by Colleen Hoover. Joey and I had been dating for a few months, and I was having doubts about myself. Then I thought back to all the times we had shared a kiss over the years, remembering how the way he looked at me was so much different than the other girls he was with. I thought back to all the times he asked me to give him a chance, and I was too blind to realize that he may have actually meant it. I always convinced myself he was just testing me. I was too scared back then. He was nothing but a player in my eyes. I never took him seriously. But looking back on it, I recognize the look in his eyes and realize he’s always meant those things. He always wanted me to say yes. I could have probably saved myself a whole hell of a lot of heartbreak if I would have just realized that love isn’t always pretty. It’s not always a fairy tale. Sometimes it’s…
So.
Much.
More.
Joey
“Thinking Out Loud”
My first instinct when I saw that bastard holding Kat was to run across the street and knock him out. I knew he would use his mother’s passing as an opportunity to try to get back with Kat. I began to think that coming up here was all a big mistake when I watched the easy way she went into his arms. Before I could turn and get back in my car, I watched as Kat’s hands came up between them and push him back. I couldn’t help but smile at the look of rejection on his face. She doesn’t love him. She’s not there for him. She’s there for all the right reasons, none of which are for him. When she spots me and our eyes meet, my heart soars because any worries I’ve had about losing her are diminished by the way she looks at me, leaving no doubt….
She.
Is.
Mine.
When I pull onto our street, we both groan when we see all the cars that line the once quiet street. “Stay with me tonight,” I say, not taking no for an answer.
“Could you just drop me at my house so I can grab a few things first?”
I pull into her driveway and take her hand, kissing her wrist softly. “Do you want me to come in or wait?”
She smiles and rolls her eyes. Why do I love it so much when she rolls her eyes at me? “I’ll walk over after I pack a bag. I think I can make it over just fine. I promised Cam and Jess I’d call them when I got back; let me just give them a ring too. Give me thirty minutes, then I’m all yours.” A playful smile crosses her lips and I’m undone. I need to have her. Naked. In my bed. Now!
“I bought you a toothbrush and that ridiculously expensive shampoo you use, so just bring a change of clothes for tomorrow.” I don’t care what she thinks about me getting items to make her stay more permanent. I want her to be permanent.
She rolls her eyes again and kisses my cheek before she hops out of the car. I get out and grab her overnight bag. “I’ll be over soon. Should I order us a pie from Joe Spanos?”
I should make her a romantic dinner tonight, but I don’t want to waste a minute cooking while I could be with her. Pizza sounds perfect. “I’ll order it—you just hurry back.”
I watch her go inside. My heart skips a beat when she turns my way and blows me a kiss before she disappears behind the door. Before I even get inside my house, I’m ordering the pizza, not wanting to be interrupted when she gets back over here. The second I hang up from ordering pizza, I get a text from Jess.
Jess: Looks like she forgives you
Me: You mean she realized there was nothing to forgive? Yes
Jess: Tomato, ToMAtoe…want us to come over? Gage and I are here with Cam and Holden. The kids are gone. We could have a couples’ night.
Me: HELL NO!
Jess: Asshat
I toss my phone on the couch after I get inside and leap up my steps, two at a time, and burst through my bedroom door, straight to my dresser where I put the ring I meant to give Kat the night we got in our fight. I dig under my socks and pull out the little white box holding the ring. I wanted to give Kat something that shows her I want us to be together forever. She knows I have enough money to buy her a million diamond rings, and one day very soon, I will. I know that she thinks it’s too soon to propose marriage, but I want her to know that I want her to be my wife one day, very soon.
This ring? This ring is special.
It belonged to my Gram. I always smile when I remember her sassy attitude, and see so much of her in Kat. Gram was a spitfire, but full of so much love, it oozed from her when I was near. Grams mainly took care of me back then when my parents were away when I was little. She became very sick with cancer when I was eight years old and that’s when Helen took over my care on a more regular basis. Even at a young age, when I didn’t understand what cancer was, I knew it was bad because of how it ravaged Grams’s body in such a short time. She went from being comfortably plump, to thin and gaunt in what seemed overnight. One of my most fond memories was on our last Christmas Eve together. We were in this house, snuggled together under a blanket, looking out the large bay window out onto the moonlit sky and trying to spot Rudolph guiding Santa’s sleigh. I remember twirling this ring around her bony finger while she told me a story of when she and Pops first met.
Pops was a firefighter in New York City when they met back in the forties. Grams was a secretary in a downtown office building where a fire broke out one afternoon. Pops found her unconscious in the bathroom, where she had barricaded herself when she became trapped by the flames. Grams said that when she came to, she was in his arms and when she looked into his eyes, she instantly fell in love. He felt the same because he proposed two weeks later with this very ring. A
methyst was Grams’ favorite stone. In such a short time, Pops made sure to learn everything he could about her, and he made every second they were together count. A few months after that, Pops was shipped out to Europe to fight in World War II. He was gone for two years, and wrote a letter to Grams every day. When he returned, their love for each other didn’t fade. They were married thirty-seven years before Pops was killed by a drunk driver.
Sitting there that Christmas Eve with Grams, she pulled me in close and took the ring I had been playing with and held it out to me. “Joseph, take this ring and keep it safe for me. One day, give it to a girl who saves you like your Pops saved me.”
I remember looking up at her, confused, and never understood what she was really telling me until after I read a letter a few years ago she left for me that explained her relationship with Pops and why she gave me that ring. It wasn’t until I fell in love with Kat that I understood what it really meant for me. I have no doubt that Kat saved me from myself.
My heart’s in my throat when she walks through my door in white shorts and a red tank top that makes her emerald green eyes almost glow. She tosses a duffle bag next to my couch and saunters over to me with fire in her eyes, clearly reading my mind when I can think of nothing but getting her out of those annoying clothes.
“Took you long enough.” I reach out and grab her by the ass, pulling her so her every curve is pressed up against me.
She throws her head back and laughs; her curls tickle my arms. I move one of my hands to the nape of her neck and brush my nose below her ear, breathing her in, and feeling home. I press my lips on her swiftly beating pulse, loving the feeling of what I do to her, as she thumps against my kiss. I make my way up to her full, needy mouth and kiss her gently, tugging at her bottom lip before I let go.
Before I could get lost in her again, we’re interrupted by the loud, deep rumble of her stomach growling. I look up at her, pissed. “When was the last time you ate?” I asked, shocked that her stomach could make a sound as angry as that.
She fidgets and looks anywhere but at me. I’ve seen the way she runs herself down, never taking time for herself, and it always pisses me off. “I’ve been a little stressed,” she says defensively, walking past me and racing towards the kitchen to avoid my interrogation at all costs. She calls out behind her, “But I’m starving now that I smell pizza. I hope you got a lot. I think we are both going to need some fuel for our bodies.”
I don’t know if I can wait until after dinner to have her, and I most certainly can’t wait until after we eat to finally tell her everything that I’ve realized since she became mine.
I race down the hall and grab her by the hips and twirl her around before she’s knee-deep in pizza and wings. She giggles and looks up at me; my heart fills with joy at the sound of her happiness. “Hold up a second.” The nerves I was feeling before rush back when her face turns more serious.
“Oh snap, what’s wrong? You have that ‘I wouldn’t exactly say it’s broken’ look on your face,” she says, trying to lighten the mood.
She knows me so well, and it’s one of the reasons I love her so much. I don’t have to pretend to be anything I’m not with her. There are no skeletons in my closet, they’ve already been exposed. I had this all planned out after she left me, and wanted to make this special, because it is special. No, I’m not proposing—not yet. I’m not putting on an extravagant show like the others did. I’m going to tell her what she means to me the best way I know how. The one way I’ve always used to tell her how I feel.
“I just want to play something for you first before my fingers get all greasy from the pizza. I’ve wanted to play this for you since the night I took you to my parents’ for dinner, but didn’t ever get the chance.”
Her eyes turn soft with guilt for a moment, before she shakes her head as if clearing her morbid memories and straightens her stance to look more confident and comfortable. “Of course. I can’t wait to hear you play something for me.”
I don’t know what she’s expecting me to play. I’ve gone over in my head thousands of songs to play for her, from classical to pop. One night while lying in bed, I was listening to Pandora while reading, and a song that was filled with so much soul came on, and it was as if it was written just for us. I spent every day I could practicing this song, thanking my parents in my mind for forcing me to take all those music lessons for all those years.
I take her petite hand in mine and lead her over to the piano and feel my nerves fade away when I sit at the black wooden bench of my August Förster custom grand piano. I let my fingers tap across the keys, getting myself warmed up before I look up at Kat, and am once again taken aback by her innocent beauty. She’s tough, she’s smart, she’s beautiful, and I want to make her mine.
I play the first key to Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud” and sing the words that mean so much as she leans over the side of the piano, listening intently. I’ve sung in front of her many times, especially in college when we’d all been out partying and came back to jam. But this was more intimate. More raw. The song is filled with feelings. All the feelings I want her to know I feel for her. It took us way too long to get to the place we are now. But in the end, it’s all been worth it because we don’t take a second for granted.
My eyes never leave her eyes for the entire song. When it’s over and she stares at me with tears in her eyes, I reach over and pull her to me so that she’s sitting on my lap. I brush her long curls behind her ears and smile. “I love you, Kat. I don’t want to lose you ever again. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives.” I don’t give her a chance to freak out that I’m proposing. “I know you said you’re not ready to get married. I know you think that it’s too soon.” She looks down at her hands and for a moment, it looks as if she’s disappointed I’m not proposing. But when she looks back into my eyes, I see nothing but happiness. I reach into my shirt pocket and pull out Gram’s ring. When she sees it, I know instantly she knows what it is and the story behind it. I told her the story about Grams and this ring long ago.
“Joe,” she gasps when I take her right hand in mine and hold the ring up to her.
“I want to marry you, Kat. And I will, probably sooner than you’re ready. But this is my promise to you that I will spend every day as long as I live making sure you know how completely you have my heart.”
She leaps into my arms, laughing and crying at the same time. “That sounds like the best promise ever.” She leans in and gives me a tear-filled kiss that’s never felt better.
I slide on the ring and kiss her wrist. Kat’s face is illuminated with happiness as she examines the heirloom on her hand, knowing well the love it holds. “I always dreamed you’d give this to me one day.” She lays her head against my chest and holds me tight. “I remember the first time you told us all the story that went with it. It was right before Jess and Dave’s wedding. You had some chick at your side, and I was there with Kevin. I remember wishing that night that I’d be the one you choose.”
“Grams always said that Pops saved her from more than a fire. I have never once considered giving this ring to anyone but you. You saved me, Kat.”
Before I could say another word, Kat’s stomach growls so loudly, I could have sworn my windows shook. We both laugh. “I sure know how to kill a moment, don’t I?”
I kiss her nose and stand up with her still in my arms. “Let’s get some food in you. You’ll need your energy for tonight.” I wink and smack her tight ass, edging her back to the kitchen.
I pause behind Kat and look up, thanking Grams for somehow knowing I would need saving.
Kat
“Bleeding Out”
We spent all of Sunday together naked in bed, only getting up to eat. Joey named all of the freckles that speckled my body while I traced the outlines of the tattoos that decorate his muscular body. He spent the entire day making love to me in virtually every room in my house, trying to prove to me that a life with him would be magical. Although I didn’
t need any more convincing, I wasn’t about to stop him from trying. It was the best day of my life.
When I wake up to the piercing sound of the alarm clock this morning, I feel lighter than ever before, almost giddy. I roll over to see Joey next to me, with sleepy, satisfied eyes, and feel at home. He reaches over for me and pulls me down into a warm embrace.
“Don’t get up yet. Just lay here with me for a few minutes.” His voice is groggy and sexy as hell.
I don’t answer, only snuggle in closer and drape my bare leg over his. My every bend fits perfectly into his. He lifts up his remote and presses play on the sound system; soft classical music plays whimsically through his room. Joey always has music playing in his house. He told me he’s used it as a way to relax or concentrate since he was a child. I love it and think it’s the best way to start off the day.
I begin to think about the other night again and the way he sang the beautiful words of the song to me. I hadn’t ever heard it before, and when he played the original version for me, I was even more blown away by how he made it his own. Joey has a rasp to his voice when he sings that is just pure sex. Joey feels music, he doesn’t just hear it, and when he sang the words to me and his eyes met mine, there was such passion and truth in him that it almost made my heart burst, it was so full of love. It was a side of Joey that very few people ever get to see: his vulnerable side. Most people know Joey as a confident, alpha male who takes the world by the balls. People know him as respectful and loyal. But not vulnerable. I always thought Joey doesn’t do vulnerable. It wasn’t until we started dating that I realized that it’s the best part of him. He doesn’t try to hide his feelings from me and that makes me feel special. I feel as if I’ve unlocked a hidden treasure. There have been times in the past that I wished he’d let more people see this side of him, but last night I realized that I like that he saves it just for me.
His Jar of Hearts (A Broken Fairy Tale #3) Page 14