Daughters of the Resistance

by Lana Kortchik

  Instead of soothing her, his words broke her heart. Why did it feel like he was saying goodbye?

  ‘Do you remember the first time you saw me?’ he asked.

  ‘At a friend’s birthday party. How could I forget? All the girls were vying for your attention and you didn’t even notice me. I had to pluck up my courage and ask you for a dance.’

  ‘You’re wrong. I did notice you. It might be the first time you saw me. But it wasn’t the first time I saw you.’

  ‘What do you mean? That’s when we met, wasn’t it?’

  ‘The first time I saw you was three weeks before that day. You were standing by the river, in bright sunshine, a paintbrush and palette in your hands, a canvas in front of you. The painting you were working on was perfection. The river you had painted looked better than the Dnieper itself. But I barely glanced at it. All I could see was you, your dark hair around your face, your eyes burning with passion, the most beautiful smile on your lips. For a moment I forgot where I was going.’

  ‘I had no idea.’

  ‘And the only reason I didn’t ask you to dance was because I never thought someone like you would like someone like me.’

  ‘So if I didn’t ask you, you would have let me leave without talking to me?’ She pinched him lightly and kissed the tip of his nose.

  ‘No way. Then and there I knew this was the girl I was going to marry. You were not going anywhere.’

  At the thought of the two of them young and in love, before the war, before the fear, before everything, she burst into tears, wrapping herself in his body, so comforting and warm. So alive.

  ‘Don’t cry,’ he whispered. ‘Look what we’ve been given. Most people never experience love like this. We are so lucky.’

  ‘You’re right. I am lucky,’ she whispered. ‘So lucky to have met you.’

  He was about to say something else, perhaps how sorry he was or perhaps how he was always going to be with her, no matter what, when there was a knock on the door and the sentry asked Irina to leave. Even partisan prisons had visiting hours that didn’t extend past midnight. Reluctantly she had to tear herself away from him, and when her arms were no longer holding him, it was like a piece of her heart had died. She felt empty and bereft. Tomorrow was their last day together. The day after tomorrow she couldn’t bear thinking about.

  Back home, Irina closed her eyes, snuggling closer to her sleeping daughter, seeking comfort. But there was no comfort. Her heart was in turmoil. She felt a familiar nausea at the back of her throat, a metallic taste in her mouth. Was it just nerves? Or was it more than that? She tried to remember when her last period was and couldn’t. Could it be true? As she was about to lose her husband, had God heard her prayers about another baby?

  She heard a noise. When she opened her eyes, she saw Lisa perched on the edge of her bed.

  ‘I have a plan,’ said Lisa. ‘I can help you get Maxim out of here.’

  Irina sat up. ‘How?’

  ‘Danilo is helping us. He came up with the perfect idea.’ Lisa’s eyes sparkled.

  ‘Danilo? He’s the one who wants Maxim dead.’

  ‘Not anymore. He told me he doesn’t want his death on his conscience. Apparently, he’s quite religious. Who would have thought?’

  ‘And you believe him?’

  ‘Why else would he be offering to help us? Just listen to this.’ Lisa practically danced on the spot. ‘Alex is standing guard at the prison hut tonight. As we all know, he’s partial to drink. I have a bottle of vodka under my pillow right now and a pack of sleeping pills we can add to it. All we need to do is give it to him. He’ll be asleep soon after. We can get Maxim out. Then the three of you can escape.’

  Irina’s heart was in her throat. She could barely speak. ‘Are you sure we can trust Danilo?’

  ‘What choice do we have?’ Lisa appeared thoughtful, then added, ‘He thought of everything. He really seems to want to help us. He told me there will be a truck waiting for us. If only there was someone we trust who could drive it.’

  ‘I can drive. I learnt before the war. My papa loved cars. He left me and my mother when I was young. I thought maybe, if I learn to do what he does, I’ll feel closer to him and then I’ll understand why he left.’

  ‘And did you?’

  ‘No. For a long time I thought it was because of me. Maybe I wasn’t good enough for him.’

  ‘Did he leave your mother for another woman?’ When Irina nodded, Lisa continued, ‘My friend Olga’s father left when she was ten. One moment he was there, the next he was gone. After he left, she just …’ She searched for the right word. ‘Disappeared. Not physically but emotionally. She was still going to school and coming over to play but she just seemed absent. For years, she wasn’t herself.’ She fell quiet for a moment. ‘Your father knew how his actions would affect you. And he didn’t care. He didn’t leave because of you. He left because of himself. I don’t know him but maybe he’s the one who wasn’t good enough.’

  Irina looked at Lisa’s flushed face and said, ‘You would do this for us? You’d be risking your freedom, possibly your life. If we’re caught …’

  ‘Maxim risked his life to save me. Now it’s my turn. No matter what, he doesn’t deserve to die. Like he once said to me, he will live with what he’s done for the rest of his life. That’s punishment enough.’

  ‘You have feelings for him, don’t you? Sometimes I see you looking at him.’

  Lisa looked away, as if she couldn’t face Irina as she admitted having feelings for her husband. ‘He’s been my dream for a long time. And that’s what he’ll stay. A dream.’

  Irina nodded. ‘I understand. Thank you for helping us.’

  ‘It’s the least I can do.’

  ‘If we manage to get away, where will we go? We have no one to turn to.’ Once, they had family in Kiev. She had her best friend. But the war had taken everything. Well, she would be damned if she let it take her husband too. She would fight tooth and nail for her happy ending.

  Lisa was quiet for a moment, as if making her mind up about something. Finally, she said, ‘I will take you home to my family. The occupation is almost over. The Red Army is coming to Kiev.’

  ‘That might not be a good thing for me and Maxim. After what he did, I mean.’ Irina shivered.

  ‘I know someone who could help. His name is Yuri. He can get new documents for you and Maxim. You can leave Kiev, start a new life somewhere where no one knows who you are. But let’s get you out first. We’ll worry about the rest later.’

  ‘How can I ever thank you?’ whispered Irina.

  ‘No thanks necessary. I want him to be happy. If it’s not with me, so be it.’

  Irina hugged the woman who was in love with her husband, the woman who once wanted nothing more than to take him away from her, and whispered, ‘God bless you. We will never forget what you’ve done for us.’

  And in the far distance, the earth shook with explosions as the battle for Kiev was underway.

  *

  Beyond the dark woods, smoke rose from the city of Kiev, bleeding and burning once more. As Lisa coughed, gasping for air, she wondered where the Red Army was. Explosion after terrifying explosion reassured her the Soviet soldiers were nearby, coming to liberate them from Hitler’s clutches. She didn’t sleep for a moment that night. Was it the sound of war or knowing what was in store for them the following day, when she was to help Maxim and his family escape?

  As she trembled from fear in her cold bed, she thought about her family. She thought of her sister’s face as she screamed that she hated Lisa and would kill her with her own two hands if she ever saw her again. She thought of her mother as she turned her back to her and told her to leave. Of months of heartbreak and loneliness and having no one to talk to. Could she forgive them? Could they forgive her? It was war. There had been too many losses. Maybe it was time to leave their differences behind and move forward.

  Besides, they were her family. Maxim had told her family was the most important
thing in the world. And he was right.

  She had once felt like she had no purpose in the partisan battalion, like she didn’t belong there. Time and time again she had wondered why she ended up there against all odds. But now she knew – helping Maxim and his family had been her purpose all along. Irina and Sonya needed their husband and father. And Lisa would save him for them.

  The next day, while Irina and Maxim were together inside the prison hut under the eager rifles of the sentries, Lisa sleepwalked through her day, lost in thought. When she went over the details of that night’s operation, her hands shook and her throat went dry. She held no illusions. What they were about to do was treason and punishable by death. If they were caught, there would be four of them, including Danilo, in that prison hut awaiting execution. But for the first time in her life, she didn’t hesitate. She owed Maxim and she wasn’t going to stop until she repaid that debt.

  As soon as the sun went down on the little settlement in the woods, Irina and Lisa walked to the spot where the truck was waiting for them. Irina carried Sonya. Lisa carried two small trunks, walking gingerly on the carpet of dry leaves, brown and sad. Despite her woolly coat that was two sizes too large, Lisa couldn’t stop shivering. In her pocket was the precious bottle of vodka with sleeping pills crushed into it. When Lisa saw the truck parked in the spot designated by Danilo, she raised her eyes to the darkened skies and mouthed a prayer of gratitude to God and to the grouchy man she had underestimated so much.

  When Lisa was a little girl, she often played cops and robbers with her brothers and sister and her friend Olga. She felt a little bit like that now – excited, scared and eager for the game to begin. The only difference was that the stakes were higher. But she couldn’t allow herself to dwell on it – if she did, she would fail. And she could not afford to fail. Three other lives depended on her.

  Outside the prison hut, Alex was sitting leaning against a tree trunk, a rolled-up shirt under his head. In front of him was a deck of cards. One by one he picked the cards up and arranged them in front of him in an order he alone could understand.

  Irina stayed behind, hiding in the bushes with Sonya, while Lisa approached. ‘What are you playing? Can I join you?’ she asked in her most seductive voice.

  He looked around as if expecting her to be talking to someone else. But since there was no one else around, he waved for her to sit down, eyeing her suspiciously. ‘I’m playing solitaire. I don’t need a partner for that.’

  ‘I knew you were here all by yourself and thought you could do with some company. Nights on sentry duty can be so dull.’ Lisa smiled flirtatiously. She was a good actress. She could do this.

  ‘I don’t buy that. You never even bothered to talk to me before. What’s changed? Could it be that you want something from me? Could it be that your sweetheart is inside?’

  Lisa was wrong about Alex. He wasn’t as stupid as he looked. ‘Maxim is not my sweetheart. And I don’t care about him. Because of him my best friend is dead.’

  ‘What do you want then?’

  ‘Just to talk. I like you.’

  ‘Since when?’ After a moment of quiet observation, he moved ever so slightly closer. Lisa wanted to move away but forced herself to remain where she was. ‘I’m glad you’re here. I hate sentry duty. Last night I almost fell asleep. Thank God I didn’t. Danilo would have killed me.’

  ‘I have something to make the time go faster.’ She reached into her pocket and showed him the bottle of vodka.

  Suddenly, he only had eyes for the drink. ‘Where did you get that?’ Not waiting for her reply, he snatched the bottle from her and pulled the cap off. Groaning with pleasure, he inhaled the sharp vapour of the alcohol. ‘Did you bring glasses? Never mind. I’ll drink from the bottle. It’s been months since I’ve had a drop.’

  As she watched Alex pour the drink down his throat like it was mere water and hand it back to her, Lisa wished she had brought glasses. The thought of even pretending to drink from the bottle after it had been in his mouth made her sick.

  ‘Want to play cards? We can play Russian Fool. You know how, don’t you?’ he demanded.

  ‘Of course.’ She remembered playing the game with her siblings after the war had started, passing long anxiety-filled afternoons hidden inside their house, too afraid to step outside, where the streets were teeming with enemy soldiers in grey.

  ‘Every time you lose a hand, you drink.’

  ‘Sounds good to me.’

  But Alex was all talk. He wanted the bottle all to himself and would take sneaky sips while Lisa shuffled the cards, dealt them and made her first move, only reluctantly passing it to her when she lost a hand, which was rare. She could swear he was losing on purpose, so that he would have all the vodka. And it suited her perfectly. As she pretended to sip from the bottle, it took all her presence of mind not to smile to herself with satisfaction.

  Soon, Alex’s gaze became unfocused and his words slurred. ‘And I asked her,’ he was saying, ‘how do you expect me to marry you after I caught you with my own brother? Here I am, fighting for you, and you can’t even wait three months without jumping in his bed. And she said she couldn’t help it. That he reminded her of me.’

  ‘That’s terrible,’ said Lisa, who was barely listening. Behind a thin wall of clay and straw was Maxim. Was he sleeping? Or was he awake and waiting for the night to be over and for the partisans to come for him? As far as he was concerned, this was the last night of his life. Lisa couldn’t even begin to imagine what was going through his mind right now. She didn’t want him to worry for a moment longer and couldn’t wait to tell him he was safe, that he had people who loved him and who would stop at nothing to help him.

  ‘Well, I did marry her and we had the baby. The little boy looks just like me,’ Alex said bitterly.

  ‘I didn’t know you were married.’

  He spat on the ground in disgust. ‘Problem is, he looks like my brother, too. And I’ll never know if he’s my son or my nephew. Sometimes I look at him and I’m convinced he’s mine. Other times I see my brother in him.’

  ‘Have you tried asking your wife?’

  ‘Like I can trust anything she says. She probably doesn’t even know. I would have left but I could never leave my baby. Even if he’s not mine, it doesn’t matter anymore. He’s my son in every way that counts. I was the one holding him when he cried. Staying up all night with him. Rocking him in my arms. Do you want to see a picture?’

  ‘Nothing would make me happier,’ said Lisa, glancing at the branches behind him. Was it her imagination or did she see the leaves move? Just the wind, she told herself. But she couldn’t stop trembling.

  It took Alex a few attempts to open his pocket. The black-and-white photograph shook in his unsteady hands. As he regaled Lisa with stories of his beloved son – or was it his nephew? – his speech became slower and his eyes glazed. Soon he started yawning. Another ten minutes, she thought, and he would be asleep.

  It took him five.

  After he slumped to the ground, Lisa waited a minute to make sure he wasn’t going to wake up and raise the alarm, then picked up his rifle, having left hers in the truck. ‘This is it,’ she said to herself. She was really doing it. There was no turning back. From this moment on, if she got caught, she couldn’t pretend she was here flirting with Alex and having an innocent game of cards. By stepping over the threshold of the partisan prison while the sentry lay unconscious at her feet, she was committing treason.

  Softly she called out to Irina, who joined her with sleeping Sonya in her arms, and the two women walked inside the hut. It was dark but in the glint of the full moon Lisa could see his silhouette. Maxim was stretched out on the straw but something told her he was awake. Maybe it was the way his head was resting on his arm, tense and motionless, like he was contemplating, not sleeping. Or the way he was breathing, torn and sharp intakes of breath, not at all like someone who was asleep. He seemed sad and resigned, and her heart was breaking for him.

  ‘Ma
xim,’ called Irina, tiptoeing to his side and putting her hand on his cheek. ‘Look at you. You look exhausted.’

  His face lit up at the sight of his wife and daughter. He pulled them closer. ‘Don’t know why. I’ve been relaxing for days. A perfect holiday resort in the woods. Nothing but nature and fresh air.’ Even in the near-darkness Lisa could see him smiling. His eyes twinkled. The night before his execution, the old carefree and happy-go-lucky Maxim seemed to have returned. ‘What are you doing here, in the middle of the night?’

  ‘We are going to get you out. Lisa is here too. We have a truck waiting. We are taking you back to Kiev.’

  ‘What do you mean, you are taking me back to Kiev? What about the sentry?’

  ‘You don’t have to worry. Lisa took care of him. He’ll sleep for a long time.’

  He looked past his wife at Lisa. ‘What did you do, hit him over the head with the rifle I gave you?’

  ‘Something like that. But we have to hurry. Can you get up?’

  ‘Wait.’ He turned back to Irina. ‘I’m not leaving. I did an unforgivable thing and I deserve to be punished for it. I might as well have killed forty of my comrades with my own two hands. I can’t just run.’

  ‘You were put in an impossible situation. Anyone would have done the same in your position. You don’t deserve …’ Irina hesitated, as if lost for words. ‘You don’t deserve this.’

  ‘The decision has been made by a jury of my peers. Who am I to turn my back on this decision?’

  Lisa couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Your family needs you,’ she said. ‘We are here to save you. For your wife and daughter.’

  He remained on the straw, not moving. Irina clasped his hands, covering them with kisses. ‘Please, Maxim. Lisa is right. We need you. More than you think.’

  Something in the expression on her face must have caught his attention. ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘I think I might be pregnant again,’ she whispered.

  There were tears in Maxim’s eyes as he clasped a crying Irina in his arms. ‘Quick, let’s go,’ cried Lisa. ‘You can talk in the truck. We don’t have much time.’