by A. M Martin
Like me.
"I have two mates." I rasp out. I can’t deal with this. Two. I’m not even comfortable with one.
"Calm down. Take a breath. Push everything else to the back of your mind. Okay. It might not turn into a mate bond. You might just be a stepping stone to get Dean out of the rage. Not necessarily his mate. Which no one gets two mates. It just doesn’t happen. So, don’t freak out over something that hasn’t and won’t happened." Cam nods looking at me.
There’s a lot of mights. It’s easier said than done. Not freaking out, which I totally want to and feel I have a valid reason for doing so but I nod with him and he smiles.
"Let’s just work on bridging the gap between you and Dean."
I nod. What am I supposed to say? This is terrifying. Where is Kayden? I’d feel better if I could at least see him.
"Are you done?”
"Yeah,” I mumble.
I couldn’t eat even if someone paid me too. My nerves are all shot to crap.
"Alright come on." Cam waves, motioning to the sliding glass doors.
"Is he out there?" I whisper behind Cam.
"Maybe I don’t know. You might have to call to him."
Like a dog. Call the wolf. A wild animal, to me like a dog. The wolf who is this Dean person. Who may or may not be another mate for me. Which can’t happen. But everything always happens to me. Oh, my gosh, I feel sick again. It’s like I fell down a rabbit hole or got abducted by space aliens. This seriously can’t be my life right now. Where in the heck is Kayden?
Avery
I’m right on Cam’s heels as we make our way off the back patio and into the grass. My right hand is clutched tightly on the back of his blue button-up shirt. I do not like this fear rolling around in my body or the nervousness. It's stifling making it hard for me to breath like an average person.
"Is he out here?" I whisper looking around like I’m secret spy.
I stand up on my tiptoes looking over the small fountain of fish. Who has a fountain of fish? I look around the outdoor grill area. Still nothing. I feel kind of dumb looking around like a bobblehead doll in the backyard for a wolf. A wolf, who is a person, who I’m to help. Fear makes people dumb. My eyes scan the trees bordering the yard. I still can’t see anything. A black wolf should stand out in a sea of trees. Right?
"No. Why are you whispering?" Cam is shaking silently and when I tear my eyes from the trees looking at him. My hand releases his shirt. He’s laughing at me.
"That’s not nice." I flutter my hand around his laughing form. My eyes still flickering around the yard. Could the wolf sneak up on me? I twist around looking behind me, heart pounding. Nothing. I’m jittery, and I do not like this feeling. Nope, not one bit.
"I know. Sorry."
I look back at Cam.
He smiles. I don’t think he’s very sorry at all.
"What now?" I bounce from foot to foot. I’m so nervous. And sick. My shirt is wet from my nervous sweating. I don’t think I can do this. It was so much easier when I didn’t have this fear. What a useless feeling to have.
"You call for him." Cam sits down in one of the red chairs at the edge of the patio.
He left me out in the open yard. The wide-open yard by myself. He’s still here, in a chair. I’m in the yard. Way, way, way from the safety of a chair and the door. It might not be that big of distance, but it feels like a canyon separates him and me. And safety. I scoot closer to him but still standing in the grass with the tip of my toes on the patio. Yeah, so that made me feel a little better. I breathe in deep. Call him. Okay, I can do that.
"Here boy, Here Dean!" I feel like an idiot. A scared sweaty idiot.
Cam’s belly-deep laughter has me looking at him. He’s laughing again.
Why is he freaking laughing? I did what he said to do.
"What?" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest feeling self-conscious and a little mad.
"You’re not..." Gasp laugh, "You don’t call him..." Gasp, laugh, gasp, “like a dog." He’s laughing so hard his face is turning a deep red.
"It’s not funny!" I screech and stomp my foot.
Yes. I did just stomp like a two-year-old, but this is so stressful, and he didn’t explain. How else am I supposed to call the wolf?
"Okay." He’s still laughing.
I turn around, marching right past him. I’m so done with this. I don’t even want to be doing this, to begin with, and him laughing at me is not helping.
"Stop. I’ll stop. Promise. I should have explained it better."
Yes. He should have explained it better. What did he expect when he said to call him? It’s not like Dean the wolf has a phone. He does have ears. I called.
We’re both back in the yard standing beside the fountain. The sound of the tickling water loses something in me, and I relax a little. Just a little bit.
"You have to call him mentally. Reach out to him."
"How?" I will not whine.
"You said you felt him. Right?"
"Yeah." I definitely whined.
"What did you feel?"
"Protectiveness, angry, a feeling of mine. A loss." I should have known something fishy was going on when I felt those things from an animal.
"What did you feel?" He stresses it this time with wide eyes. Tiring to make a point.
I think back. I felt a need to defend. Protect. To feel whole. It was all tinged with this dark wild feeling.
"A dark wildness,” I mumble, chewing on my lip.
"Yes." Cam clasps his hands together.
Go me.
"You need to look outwards. Feel that dark wildness. And send a feeling of need through it."
"Uh." I start biting my lip. He waves his hands at me.
Okay. Deep breath. I can do this. I’m scared to death, but I can do this.
I close my eyes, looking outwards. It feels like something jumps out of me as I push. I feel nothing but a harsh blackness. It’s cold and slithering. I keep pushing, and my body starts to tremble. My knees buckle just as I touch the dark wildness. I don’t know what need necessarily feels like. Cam didn’t say what kind of need. Like a need to eat or a need to sleep, but I push something towards the dark wildness that’s Dean as I crumble into a heap on the hard ground. My legs are weak. My body is already feeling tired and worn out.
Was it the right need? Oh man, I hope it was the right need. There are so many different needs, and I’m a complete mess right now. What did I send out?
"Avery." Cam's cool hands shape my face. My eyes pop open.
"Yeah." I gasp, panting.
"Are you okay?"
"Mmmm." It’s all I can manage other than yeah. It feels like I ran a marathon, but I did it.
Wait.
"I did it." I gush gasp, smiling wide. Happy with myself.
"Yes, you did." Cam gushes with me, smiling too.
"Now what?" I ask sitting up.
My eyes go wide as saucers. Oh no. A howl full of desperation fills the air. It's so loud; my hands clamp onto my ears.
Fear slithers its way through my body again. My breathing starts coming fast. That does not sound good.
I look at Cam on the verge of a panic attack.
His eyes are wide, a frown covers his ordinarily smiley face, “What exactly did you send him?"
I clamor to my feet and start backing up towards the patio eyes zooming around the trees. That howl sounded as if it was right behind me. Way to close. My lips quiver.
"I don’t know,” I whine breathless. He’s going to eat us or something. Oh god. Why did I listen to Cam?
"Avery. Stop moving and listen."
I don’t want to. Not at all. Listening to Cam has turned out to be a terrible idea. Dean, the wolf, does not sound pleased.
"Avery."
I do stop. Cam has never snapped at me before. It freezes me in place.
"He is coming.”
I shake my head back and forth gulping in air. My pulse is thudding in my neck.
"You need to
stay right here. Or he will hunt you down, and everyone in his way will seem like an enemy."
What? No this can’t be happening. Cam said I would be safe. Everything would be okay.
"This is your fault." I point my trembling finger at Cam.
He looks over my shoulder, it stops my heart and has me spinning around looking everywhere at once. Is it the wolf?
Aden, Nick, and Kayden are standing in the kitchen looking at us through the patio door. Kayden. That’s reassuring. My shoulders relax, and I smile lightly. Then I really look and see frowns on the guy's faces.
Another howl fills the air seeming to echo all around me.
"What’s going to happen?" I gulp looking back to Cam.
He mumbles something under his breath before sending me what I assume is to be a comforting smile. It’s not. So not any comforting going on right now.
"I can't be out here with you. He will see me as a threat."
What? A threat. What about me? Will he see me as a threat too?
Cam pats my shoulder and goes into the house. I watch as the lock is clicked into place. He locked the door. The freaking door. They’re leaving me. Out here by myself. Oh, God. I start breathing faster, barely getting any air in. What’s going to happen to me? I watch as each boy stiffens. My eyes close. A branch snaps from somewhere behind me. I think I’m going to pass out. He left me.
Avery
Protect. Possess. Anger. Fear. Bewildered. Despair.
Amused. Eager. Forgotten. Pride. Love.
It all hits me like a tsunami, tumbling over me and I know the wolf. Dean. I mean Dean is close. I don’t know what to do. I quake from my gut churning fear, my hand's trembles, my heart pounds painfully in my chest, and the onslaught of his emotions are adding to mine. And the fact that I’m alone. Out here by myself. I think I could very well cry right now.
My fists clench tight, making my knuckles turn red. I don’t know what to do. Cam just left without telling me anything. Left. My heart hammers to the point it’s all I hear. My arms jerk of their own accord. The fear ruling my body has turned me into an utter mess. What a useless emotion. Cam said he, Dean wouldn’t hurt me. That we have this bond. I just don’t know.
What if Cam’s wrong. What if Dean’s too far gone? What if he’s all wolf and just sees me as lunch. Oh, my god. I’m so screwed.
I don’t know whether it’s my curiosity or whether it’s the fear driving me knowing something is at my back, but I feel my eyes pop open without my permission. A cry slips passed my clenched lips. It. He is standing right behind me. I can see his reflection in the glass doors leading into the kitchen. A big head as wide as my shoulder. Luminous copper eyes. My own eyes go wide, and I twist around.
Maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Nope, not at all. I’m blaming it on the fear riding my body like a rollercoaster. Senseless feeling.
Oh Gosh. He’s so freaking huge. He’s right there. Right in front of me maybe two or three inches away. I mean right freaking there. My chest cramps up. I could lean just a tiny bit forward, and his big black nose would touch me.
His massive head is level with my chest. His eyes are bright copper. They stare into my very core and flick around. It’s like he’s looking for something in my gaze. Fear, that’s all he’ll see. Cause that’s all I feel. Stupid, senseless fear.
He’s tall and massive. So much bigger than what I remember or is it my fear making him seem larger than life. I don’t know. I just don’t know. Cam shouldn’t have left me.
A warm puff of breath that smells of copper hits me across my face, like a huff- moving a few pieces of my dark hair. Can he smell my fear? My sweat? I’m soaked through now. He’d have to be able to feel it. That’s how I got him to come to me, to begin with. I didn’t mean to send the fear. That was what I was feeling, and it just got sent. Animals attack when they smell fear right? Deep breath Avery. Deep breath. He’s different. Cam said so, but Cam also left me. I don’t know what to do.
I’m going to kill Cam for putting me in this dang situation. And Kayden. He shouldn’t have let this happen to me. I thought I was to be his mate. Shouldn't he protect me from things like this? The tingles. What is going on with the tingles? I've always felt them around Kayden, but that’s twice now he’s been near, and I haven’t felt a thing. They need to learn how to explain everything better.
"AHH!" I fall backward as the wolf, no not wolf Dean- touches me with his wet nose on my cheek. To close. His mouth full of million sharp teeth so dang close to my body. My face. Is it possible for a person’s lungs to explode? I believe mine just did.
I’m panting hard and sweating up a storm. Nerves. This must be my nerves and the fear making me a sweaty, panting muddle. My arms are behind me, keeping me from falling, laying entirely on the ground. Does he see me as food? Gosh, I hope not.
The wolf- Dean cocks his massive head to the side and those odd copper eyes narrow in aggravation. The feeling hits me hard. How could he be upset with me? I haven’t done a thing to him. He’s the one here. Right here sticking his big face and wet nose in my personal bubble. Do wolves know about personal bubbles? I don’t think so, or he’s just ignoring that rule. Which is rude. You should always respect the personal bubbles.
I look over my shoulder and see all three boys pressed up against the glass. Each has a different look on their faces. I look pleadingly at them and watch Cam mouth the word, ‘Speak.'
I slowly move my head back towards Dean, cringing the whole time. He’s been sniffing at various parts of my body but stops with my movement. Talk to him. Yeah okay, cause it’s totally normal to talk to a wolf.
"Hi,” I whisper out. "Please don’t eat me."
I flinch when he shakes his head letting out a huff. What am I supposed to do? I whine and bit my lip. That’s what I do.
My legs jerk when he lays down beside me, resting his enormous head on my thigh looking at me with those copper eyes.
Oh, my gosh. My muscles are so tense, they feel like cement in my body. What to do. What to do.
I squeal, my hands jerking in the air when I feel his head move between my legs and takes a long sniff.
Oh, my gosh. What is he doing? That is so bursting the personal bubble.
My bubble is gone. Gone, popped.
He cocks his head, looking at my face then lays his head back down on my thigh. That was so freaky weird. And past the bubble. For a minute, there I really thought he was going to take a chunk out of me.
I look back over my shoulder at Cam. He just moves his hand in a wiping motion.
I can do this. I can do this.
I reach out slowly letting my trembling hand hang in front of his face. My eyes close shut. He will not bite me. He should have done it by now if he was going to. Right?
A rough wet thing wipes across my hand. I freeze, no more quivering and my eyes pop open. He’s licking me. It feels like a weight lifts off my shoulders and I relax. That’s good. Licking is supposed to mean they like you, well with dogs anyways and wolves are dog-like.
He lays his head back on my lap, and I slowly start to run my hand through his black fur. It’s softer than what I thought it would be considering it looks coarse. I look him over, never stopping the movement of my hand. He’s quite gorgeous, in an I could eat your way. The black of his fur turns purple in some places where the sun hits it just right and white in others. The tip of his left ear is white along with his left back paw.
I wonder what I’m meant to do now. I called him. He’s here and not eating me which is a significant accomplishment in my book. He’s also content. That feeling flows through him to me causing my eyes to droop a little. Maybe a tiny nap. Calling to him made me tired. This whole ordeal has made me tired.
Kayden
I watch as Cam rushes into the kitchen and flip the lock. My body tenses. It sends an uneasy feeling through me
Why is he just standing there, he should be teaching Avery? And why in the hell did Cam lock the door?
My muscles ripple as I mo
ve towards the door, ready to unlock it and go to Avery. I never make it. A growl rips from my throat at the sight of Avery on the other side of the glass with Dean so close.
"Damn it, Kay, you scared the crap out of me." Cam’s hand clenches at his chest.
"What is going on?" I snarl, coming to a stop in front of the handle of the door. Nick and Aden are blocking my way out. My way to Avery.
"Um…..." Cam shifts from foot to foot, looking at me and then to Avery with Dean.
"Cam." The words can barely be made out. More growl than words. I am beyond pissed off.
I don’t know what is going on. Seeing Dean’s colossal form an inch away from Avery has my heart pumping and my wolf scratching at my insides.
"Jeff wanted me to work with Avery today." Cam scratches at his head.
"I know that Cam. What is Dean doing here?"
"That’s the thing." Cam shifts again now completely facing the two in the yard. "He wanted to see if Avery could bring Dean out of the Rage. Since no one really knows how long Dean has been in the rage and Avery is the first empath to have any type of connection to him." The last bit is a muttered whisper that still reached my sensitive hearing.
A knot forms in my gut from the words Camron is not voicing.
The bond. Avery and Dean must strengthen the em-bond for this to work. She'll have a bond with someone other than me. What does this mean for us and our own uncompleted mate bond? My hand's clinch. I don’t like this at all. The uncertainty of it makes me sick to my stomach.
Could Dean somehow take her away from me?
I shake my head at the thought. I will not go there. Not now. Not ever.
"Hey, guys…." Nicks' voice trails off as he finally takes notice of the tension in the kitchen.