Because of You

by Jenika Snow

  But this was life. Reality.

  Frank closed his eyes and breathed out roughly, leaning back in the chair before opening his eyes and staring at the ceiling. A muscle under his jaw ticked, his anger tangible despite the fact he said nothing.

  His arms were crossed over his chest, the shirt stretching wide over his muscular body. Sutton looked like his father so much, but where Sutton had this easy-going, almost lighthearted attitude when he was with me, Frank was hardened, almost cold and clinical in everything he did, every way he acted.

  “Sutton?” My mother whispering his name really dug at my heart. It sounded so pained.

  All I could do was nod my answer.

  What else could I say?

  What else could I do?

  “I mean, did you guys not know how babies are created?” My stepfather was the one to speak now, his voice sharp like the blade of a knife.

  “Sometimes things just happen.” I didn’t bother telling him we hadn’t used protection, that we hadn’t even been thinking about the repercussions of our actions.

  That wasn’t his business, and certainly wasn’t the focus of the conversation right now.

  Whether we’d used a condom or not didn’t matter anyway. I was already pregnant.

  He didn’t respond, just shook his head and looked at my mother. She now had her hand covering her mouth, her focus trained on me and a look of disappointment clear. My stepfather stood, the chair sliding across the wooden floor. He left the dining room, the silence stretching between my mother and me.

  “God, Catherine,” she finally said and reached out to take my hand in hers. It was that small touch, that reassurance when she squeezed my hand, that had me breaking down. And when I cried she started crying. Both of us were a sobbing mess at the dining room table because it was all either of us could do in this moment.

  “I’m sorry I disappointed you,” I said and wiped the tears away with my free hand. “But I love him, Mom. I love Sutton so much.”

  She gave me this sad look. “Oh, honey.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said again.

  Her sadness turned into a small, almost reassuring smile. “I’m not so much upset that it’s Sutton’s baby, sweetheart,” she said softly. “I mean I’d seen the way you two looked at each other. It isn’t really a surprise you got together.”

  That shocked me and I knew it reflected on my face.

  “But I’m more concerned over the fact you’re having a baby so young. It’s going to be so hard, honey.”

  My mother stood and walked over to me. “But everything will be okay. We’ll make sure it is, okay?”

  And all I could do was nod, thankful that I had at least one person on my side.

  Chapter Seven

  Sutton

  One year later

  The cab came to a stop in front of my parents’ house and for a moment I just sat there, frozen in the past, remembering each and every day inside those four walls. I’d only been gone a year, but damn, it had felt like an eternity.

  I handed the driver some cash and climbed out, the plastic bag with the few belongings I’d left with a reminder of where I’d been the last twelve months. I guess I could’ve counted myself lucky that I’d only gotten a year.

  Michael could’ve pushed for longer.

  His father could’ve been harder on me.

  That’s what I told myself anyway, reminding myself so I didn’t go over there and finish that job, beating his ass for all the shit he put me through. For all the shit he’d taken away from me.

  I headed inside, knowing I needed to get this over with. I saw my father and stepmother’s cars in the driveway, knew that keeping them away this past year probably wasn’t the best, but also knowing that I hadn’t wanted them where I was, Catherine either.

  I thought about knocking at first, but said fuck it. I turned the handle and pushed the door open. Everything looked the same, smelled the same. I heard someone in the kitchen, so after setting my bag on the floor, I headed in that direction.

  I stopped when I saw my stepmother standing by the sink. I brought my knuckles down on the wood frame of the entryway and she looked over her shoulder. She smiled, faced me, and was in front of me only a second later. She embraced me, her body so small compared to mine, the scent of lemons and dish soap filling my head. It reminded me of happiness, of before I was in that fight, before I was pulled away from Catherine.

  “It’s so good to see you again, Sutton.”

  I hugged her back and closed my eyes.

  It had felt longer than twelve months.

  It had felt like an eternity.

  I pulled back and smiled, feeling love for Rochelle. Since my own mother had passed away when I was younger, Rochelle was as close to a mom as I’d ever really gotten, even in the short time we’d been in each other’s lives. I felt someone approach behind me and knew without turning around that it was my father.

  Rochelle gently patted my chest and gave me another smile before walking past me and leaving us alone. I turned and faced my father, the man who was always so stern and rough, so hardened and strict. But despite all of that I still got into trouble, and now had a year on my record.

  We didn’t speak for several moments and finally I exhaled slowly, knowing that I needed to just get this over with. I was sure he had plenty to say to me, shit about how he was disappointed in me, how I’d ruined my life, how I should’ve thought about the repercussions.

  I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but he took a step forward, making the words lodge in my throat. And before I knew what was happening, he had me pulled into an embrace. He brought his palm down on my shoulder, giving me a loving pat, a masculine gesture that to him showed his affection.

  I was stunned, shocked that he wasn’t berating me in this moment.

  He pulled back, his hand still holding my bicep as he looked into my eyes.

  “I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice deep, emotion clear in it.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing. He took a step back, lifted his hand up, and rubbed it over the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for not believing in you more. I’m sorry that I was always on your ass about everything. I’m sorry for a lot of shit, Sutton.” He glanced away and cleared his throat, as if this were hard on him. “But I’m most sorry for not being a better father.”

  Out of all the ways this moment had played out in my head, this certainly hadn’t been something I’d expected. I opened and closed my mouth a few times because I didn’t know what the hell to say to that.

  “After you were sent away a lot of shit came to light, none of which would have helped your situation, but things that told me you weren’t to blame for a lot of shit.” He hung his head for a moment, the silence thick. “And I wanted to come visit so many times, but after I was told you didn’t want anyone there, well…” he said and ran his hand over his face, the days’ worth of scruff covering his cheeks and jaw. “I told myself from that point on I’d work at being a better father. I need to be because…” He didn’t finish his sentence and I felt my brows lower. “I just know that things need to be different. After your mother passed away it was hard for you. I know that. Maybe that’s why you acted out. I don’t know.” He smiled, a genuine one. “But what I do know is that none of that matters anymore. Family is what’s important.”

  “I don’t know what to say,” I admitted honestly. This was a one eighty on how I thought this reunion would go. I looked at the tiled floor, honestly not sure how to respond to all of this. The one person I kept thinking about was Catherine. I lifted my head and looked at my father, saw Rochelle come back into the kitchen a moment later. “Where’s Catherine?” I felt the way the air seemed to shift, how the room became hotter, the tension covering me.

  Rochelle and my father looked at each other, the expression they exchanged having me tense. “What’s wrong? Where’s Catherine?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, honey,” Rochelle said. “She’s at the newly ope
ned cake shop in town. Has been working there for almost six months.” I could see Rochelle looked nervous. “I think you should go talk to her.”

  “Is she okay?” Now more than ever I was worried. They were acting weird as fuck.

  “She’s fine.” She walked over to the counter and grabbed a set of keys. “Take these.” She handed them to me. “Take your father’s truck. It’s parked on the side of the house.”

  I took the keys. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Just go speak with her.” My father was the one to speak now.

  “Drive safe—”

  I was already turning and heading back out the front door before she even finished talking.

  I cut the engine when I pulled up to the curb, staring at the cake shop. My heart was beating a mile a minute, my nerves so fucking high I was surprised I could stay on the ground.

  Inside that little mom-and-pop bakery was Catherine, the girl I loved more than anything else, the person I’d pushed away a year ago because I couldn’t stand the thought of her seeing me locked up. Things would be different now though. I’d make sure of it.

  I pulled the keys out of the ignition and climbed out of the truck, slamming the door and just standing there for a moment. I was honestly surprised my old man had let me borrow this piece of crap truck, something he had owned since I was a little boy. There was rust on the wheels, a crack going straight through the center of the windshield, and the muffler was going out so it sounded like a demolition derby was coming down the road anytime I started at the damn thing.

  But it wasn’t like I had anything else at the moment, not yet anyways. I’d get a job, get myself a proper place to stay. And when I had all of that, I’d make sure that I was worthy to have Catherine as mine.

  Because if I knew one thing for certain over this past year, it was that I wasn’t walking away from her.

  I started making my way around the front of the truck, the sound of people laughing across the street drawing my attention. I looked to my left and stared at the small childcare facility. I could see a couple women holding infants as they stood by the front door, the sound of the babies giggling loud. Although the center of town was fairly small, there were plenty of local businesses set up on this main strip.

  Focusing back on the cake shop, I headed onto the sidewalk and made my way toward the front door. I pulled it open, the scent of fresh baked goods immediately filling my nose. A little bell above the door dinged my arrival. The shop was decorated in white and pink, polka dots on the walls, the display case taking up almost one whole side. Pastries and breads, cakes and desserts all lined the inside of the display case. I saw an older woman in the back, the stainless-steel appliances shining, her focus on the dough she kneaded.

  “Welcome. Give me a minute and I’ll be right with you.”

  I stepped farther into the shop and walked over to the framed picture on the wall. It showed what I assumed were the employees, all five of them smiling and wearing matching aprons. And there she was, the one woman who held my heart, the one person who I’d thought about this whole time, day in and day out.

  Catherine.

  She looked exactly the same, her smile bright and reaching her eyes. Genuine.

  “Hi. Welcome to Oh Dough Good. What can I get for you today?”

  I turned and faced the older woman. She had a big grin on her face, flour on her cheeks and the tip of her nose. Her hair was speckled with salt and pepper coloring, piled high on her head and secured under a hairnet. I walked up to her, wanting to just blurt out if she knew where Catherine was, but also not wanting to look like a psycho.

  “I’m…” I turned to look back at that framed picture for a second before facing her once more. “I’m actually looking for someone, an employee of yours. Wondering if you know when Catherine will be to work?”

  “Are you a friend of hers?” She looked suspicious, her voice letting me know she was hedging for some information. I couldn’t blame her. In fact, I was glad she was cautious.

  “I’m actually her stepbrother,” I admitted although I hated saying that. I didn’t think of myself as that at all.

  “Oh,” she said surprised. “Catherine didn’t mention any brothers.”

  No, she probably wouldn’t with my track record.

  It was clear this woman wasn’t from town, not for long at least. If she had been, she’d have known all the town gossip about me and my reputation.

  But knowing she hadn’t said anything about me did cause a twinge of pain to settle right in the center of my chest.

  “I’ve been gone for a while and just came back, wanting to surprise her. My father said she was working here now.”

  “She’s due any minute, actually.” She looked over my shoulder and smiled. “She’s actually pulling in right now.” My heart started beating harder as I turned around and faced the front windows. I didn’t see her right away, but then, across the street, I saw her climb out of a small tan-colored car.

  I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face. God, it seemed like far longer than a year had passed since I’d seen her. Her hair was in a ponytail, brushing the center of her back. She’d let it grow out this past year.

  I loved it.

  She started making her way toward the front of the car. I expected her to cross the street and head toward the cake shop, but instead she went to the back-passenger side door, opened it, and bent over. For second I could only watch her, stare at the fact she seemed curvier, womanlier. God, she looked incredible.

  And then she straightened, shut the door, and turned to face the cake shop. Everything around me froze. She held an infant car seat. She was looking down at the baby inside, a smile on her face as she adjusted the blanket. And then she headed into the daycare, disappearing from view, leaving me feeling shocked.

  “She’s got a baby?” I said to myself.

  “Oh yes, a beautiful little girl. I think she’s only a few months old.”

  I turned and faced the woman still behind the counter.

  “I didn’t know.” God, how had I not known?

  Because I pushed her away.

  I found myself leaving the bakery, walking across the street, and pulling the door open to the daycare. I didn’t know what I was thinking in that moment, but as I stood there with the sound of babies and kids shouting and crying, of toys and music going off, the only thing that kept running through my mind on repeat was one thing.

  I knew that was my child.

  Chapter Eight

  Catherine

  I sat across from Sutton, the car seat beside me, his focus on the baby. Our baby.

  He’d been staring at Maddie since we came into the little coffee shop beside the daycare. Thankfully Rose, the owner of the bakery I worked at, had no problem with me not clocking in just yet, not when my expression probably showed nervousness, and how shit would probably hit the fan.

  He cleared his throat and turned his attention on me. God, he looked good, the same guy I’d fallen in love with, the one I’d given my virginity to.

  The father of my child.

  “She’s mine.” He didn’t phrase it like a question.

  “She’s yours.” I reached down and got her out of the car seat, cradling my little three-month-old daughter. I’d envisioned this moment since I first found out I was pregnant. And I wished I could have told him all of this before now.

  “I kept you away,” he said with pain in his voice. “It’s my fault I’m just now finding out.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I tried coming by over and over again, but each time I was told you weren’t accepting visitors.” I felt tears start to fill my eyes remembering those times.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, his focus on Maddie in my arms. “What’s her name?”

  “Maddie Isabella.” The expression he gave me was one of raw emotion. But I’d known when he heard our little girl’s name it would strike him in the heart.

  “You gave her my mother’s name?
”

  I nodded, feelings and sensations slamming into me. “Do you want to hold her?”

  He looked up at me with wide eyes. “I’m afraid I’ll drop her.”

  I couldn’t help but smile. I shook my head and stood, walking over to him. “You won’t. Just support her head.” I placed our baby in his arms and felt my heart become full at the sight.

  “I assume our folks know about this?” He hadn’t taken his focus off the baby.

  “They know.” Sitting back down across from him, I felt like crying, but pulled it together. Last thing either one of us needed was for me to break down.

  “How’d they take it?”

  I chuckled softly. “Your dad wasn’t that happy. My mom was surprisingly supportive. When I started showing and let them see the ultrasound, your dad fell in love with her. He’s done a complete turn on his hardened self.”

  Sutton snorted. “Yeah, it was like walking into an episode of the Twilight Zone with him today.” He looked up at me. “I love you so damn much.” He winced and looked down at the baby. “Sorry. I need to learn to watch my mouth around my daughter.” Lifting his head, his eyes were wide again. “My daughter. I’m a dad.”

  I covered my mouth with my hand and nodded, my vision becoming blurry as the tears started to fill my eyes.

  Maddie started fussing and Sutton looked panicked. I chuckled and stood, taking the baby from him and setting her back in the car seat. She settled right down. Before I could take my seat again, Sutton reached out and took hold of my hand, his thumb moving over my pulse point.

  “I’m never leaving you again. I’m never leaving either of you.”

  I smiled.

  “I love you, Catherine, and I love Maddie.” He stood and I craned my head back to look him in the face. “I’m going to work so damn hard to provide for both of you, to give you guys the life you deserve.” He reached out and ran his finger along my cheek, wiping my tears away.