Belong

by NB Baker

  “Umm, it’s about three,” he whispers.

  “Seriously. Damn, I’m sorry you had to work so late. If you’re hungry, Darla’s grandma sent over some lasagna. I can warm it up for you.”

  “Thanks, but no. I just want to go to bed, it was a long ass day. But in the end, it was all worth it.” Justin comes over and gently scoops Darla up into his arms.

  “You’re not taking her home at this hour, are you?”

  “No, I told grandma that I didn’t know for sure what time I would be home. She said that it was alright for her just to sleep here.”

  My body still hurts not as bad as it did this morning. I’m a little slow getting up. “Go ahead and lay her back down, I have to use the bathroom. When I come back, I’ll just squeeze in around her.”

  “Kitten. You’re sleeping in my bed with me tonight. I need you close. I need to know that you’re safe and that you’re not going anywhere.”

  I notice the stress in his voice, and he must have too. He tries his best to change his tone, but I can tell it’s forced.

  “Besides, this couch can’t be doing you any good.” Bruce jumps back up onto the couch and sprawls out. “Darla and Bruce can have it all to themselves. By the looks of it, I doubt they’ll leave you much room.”

  “Yeah, okay. Justin, is everything alright?”

  He lays Darla down on the couch and covers her up. “I’m just tired.”

  Bruce wastes no time snuggling back in. I step into Justin wrapping my arms around his waist, putting my head on his chest. He rests his hands on my hips, kisses the top of my head, then pulls me in closer. His body is tense, but as we stand here wrapped in each other’s arms, I feel him start to relax.

  He buries his face into my neck and takes in a deep breath. “My God, you smell fantastic.”

  I look up at him. “Thank you, I think.”

  “Trust me. It’s a good thing. He’s smiling as he pulls away and takes my hand in his. “Come on, Kitten, let’s get some sleep.”

  I loop my arm through Justin’s for a little extra stability as we walk down the dark hall. When we get to the bathroom door, he stops, holds out his arm gesturing that I can go in. “Your destination my dear.”

  I do the best curtsey I can manage. “Thank you, kind Sir. What, are you not going to stand here, watching thus making me feel tremendously uncomfortable?”

  I can feel his body move as he chuckles. “I can if you’d like.”

  Whoa, didn’t expect that response from him. “Nope, I’m good.”

  He reaches in and turns on the light then he heads down the hall. I watch him walk away and disappear into the bedroom before closing the bathroom door. Gazing at myself in the mirror, I’m happy to see that the swelling has gone down some. But the bruises are still red and angry looking. I dread the thought of what they’ll look like in a few days. Oh well, it is what it is. Nothing I can do about it. I don’t even want to think about any of that shit right now. All I want to do is focus on the fact that once again I get to have Justin right next to me for an entire night, well for at least a few hours.

  I am worried about Justin though. I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something's just not right with him. The feeling is so strong. I can’t ignore it. It’s not the normal feeling that I usually have. Like I’ve done something wrong. This is different, strange, and completely abnormal for me. His body was so full of stress when I first wrapped my arms around him. Every muscle was so tense that it felt like I was embracing a steel pillar. But the longer I held him, the more relaxed he became. Like I was something good for him that I was making all his wrongs right.

  The more I think about it. I decide that I’m not going to pester him about it. I’m just going to let it go. Maybe he is tired. I mean, shit, he did work half the night, and he seems to have lightened up a bit. If there is something wrong, I will be there for him if or when he wants to talk about it.

  I hurry and finish up in the bathroom. I don’t want to waste one precious moment with him. There’s a low, soft light coming from the bedroom. When I get into the room, the covers on the bed are turned down. Justin is standing in front of a dresser with his gorgeous back to me in only a pair of boxer shorts that are hanging off his waist. My eyes run up and down his glorious body. I don’t know why I insist in torturing myself. I must like it because I begin to imagine him sliding is cock into me over and over. Instantly, my clit starts to throb, and I can feel moisture building between the folds of my pussy. My nipples are so hard that they fucking hurt.

  “Hey, you.”

  He doesn’t turn around. “Hey, you. You can have whichever side of the bed you’ll be most comfortable.”

  “Thanks. Are you sure? I mean, it’s your bed.”

  “From now on it’s our bed. You get settled. I’ve got to use the bathroom really quick. Do you need help getting into bed? Pain meds, something to drink, or anything while I’m up?”

  It’s odd, he still hasn’t turned around, and he keeps digging through his dresser drawers. From here it looks like he has already laid everything out that he could need for tomorrow. Hell, maybe for the next week.

  “No, I’m good, but thank you. Hey, while you’re digging around for your clothes for the next week, don’t you have any old man pajamas in there?”

  He laughs. “Nope. You’re lucky I have these on, I normally sleep naked.”

  I smack my pillow. “Ugh! Really? Just had to go there, didn’t ya?”

  “Yep, sure did.”

  I’m trying to get comfortable when Justin starts walking toward the door. I get a glimpse of him out of the corner of my eye. Something just doesn’t seem right. His entire demeanor is different. He’s got his head turned away from me like he’s trying to hide something.

  “Justin.”

  He stops mid step but still doesn’t face at me. “Turn around and look at me.”

  He turns around very slowly. That’s when I see what he’s been hiding. “Oh my God! What the fuck happened to your face?”

  Even in the dim light, I can see from here that it’s black and blue, and his eye is almost swollen shut. There’s a huge gash running along the side of his eye with dried blood staining his cheek.

  I start to get out of bed, Justin holds his hand up for me to stop. “It’s alright. It’s barely a scratch, don’t worry about it.”

  “What do you mean don’t worry about it? Barely a scratch my ass! Justin, you have a fucking gash on the side of your face. I can tell from here that you need stitches. We need to get you to the emergency room.”

  He comes over and sits down on the bed next to me. “I’m not going to the hospital. It’ll be just fine. Trust me it’s not my first time with a black eye and a little cut. It’s nothing that a butterfly bandage won’t take care of. Besides, I don’t think you have any room to talk about going or not going to the hospital.”

  “Justin, that’s more than just a black eye and a little cut. It looks like someone smacked you in the side of the face with a fucking shovel.”

  When he doesn’t respond, I’m instantly pissed. I swear my blood is boiling, and I can see nothing but red. “Jesus! Fuck, Justin. Did someone smack you in the face with a fucking shovel? Were you attacked? What happened?”

  I reach forward toward his face. I hold my hand just inches away not wanting to touch it but wanting to somehow make it better. My anger is so intense right now that tears start to fall my cheeks.

  “Don’t cry. Really it’s not that big of a deal.”

  “Not a big deal? Well, it’s a huge fucking deal to me!” My tears are falling uncontrollably now. I wipe my eyes in anger and take a deep breath to calm down.

  “Look, Justin, I know you can take care of yourself, and I can’t even begin to imagine what the other fucker looks like. But seriously, I want to fuck a bitch up so bad right now I can’t even see straight. Nobody and I mean fucking nobody, hurts someone I care about,” I warn.

  Justin takes my hands in his. His voice is calm and collecte
d, but his body language says different and is speaking volumes. I can tell that he’s as serious as hell right now. His knee starts bouncing as if he’s trying to release energy anyway possible. His face is turning red, his jaw’s clenched and the veins in his neck are bulging out.

  “Calm down, Kitten.”

  He raises one eyebrow, and in a very mocking voice. “Trust me. I know exactly how you feel.”

  I roll my eyes at him. Even though it irritates me, it’s true. I’ve got nothing for a comeback.

  “Hey, I didn’t get the worse end of the situation by any means. It’s not something I’m proud of, but in this particular situation, I wanted to beat the fuck out of this mother fucking bastard so bad. I wanted him to know exactly what it felt like. At least physically. I wanted to annihilate him. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to hurt anyone this bad before in my entire life. On my way to find him, I couldn’t stop thinking about how incredible it would feel to give this guy what he deserved. Then I started wondering if giving him what I believed he deserved would make me the exact same type of monster that I thought he was.”

  I look into his stressed eyes. “Justin, there’s no way you could ever be the same type of monster this guy is. I don’t even know what he did, but I know that you could never be any kind of monster. You are the most decent person I’ve ever met. You’re a person who looks for the best in other people. I’d bet my life that you’d give a person in need the shirt off your back. I mean, look what you’ve done for me. You opened your home to me to get me out of a heinous situation that you had nothing to do with.”

  Right here in this very moment, it strikes me so hard, as if someone has just hit me in the face with a shovel. “Wait, I thought you were at work.”

  He doesn’t answer, only looks at the floor.

  “Justin, what or who was the situation that you went to take care of?”

  He squeezes my hand tight not moving his gaze. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I swear I tried talking to your dad. I did, but he didn’t want to hear anything I had to say. It just pissed him off, and he ended up taking a swing at me. I stepped out of the way, and he missed. That pissed him off even more, so he came at me again, but his time I stopped him. I stopped him with my fist… To his face... Several times.”

  I jerk my hands away from Justin clasping them over my mouth. Tears roll down my cheeks like a damn has just broke. The look on Justin’s face is full of regret and sorrow. The last thing I want is for him to feel like he’s done something wrong or that I’m upset with him, but I can’t stop crying.

  Justin gently grabs my face in his hands. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have even went to find him. I just couldn’t stand the thought of what he did to you. It made me so fucking crazy. I should have been the bigger man and walked away, or better yet I should have just left it alone and kept my fucking nose out of it. I have you here. I know your safe. That’s all that matters. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Please, don’t cry. I’ll do whatever I have too. I want to make this up to you, to right my wrong.”

  The knot in my throat and the continuous stream of tears keep me from speaking. All I can do to communicate with him is shake my head. I make a loud gasping sound as take a deep breath in trying to regain my composure.

  Justin gets down on the floor in front of me. He lowers his head into my lap and then looks up at me. “Please, forgive me, I’m begging you. I’m so fucking sorry.” I swear I hear his voice break as he speaks and he lowers his head in shame. I start running my fingers through his hair.

  “Justin, there’s nothing for me to forgive. I’m not mad about what you did. I’m not mad about anything. I’m….”

  He looks up at me. His beautiful brown eyes are glassy. There’s hopefulness and a little confusion in his voice. “You’re not mad?

  My throat feels like a boa constrictor has coiling itself around it trapping my words. It takes a couple of moments before I can continue. Justin's watching me intently the entire time.

  “I’m touched, honored, moved, fucking overwhelmed, to say the least. There has never been anyone in my life who has ever done anything like this for me. My friends have tried, I wouldn’t let them. Hell, I wouldn’t even do anything about it myself. The truth is, outsiders just have always looked the other direction and pretend that everything was just fucking sunshine and flowers. Then talk about my toxic, decaying world behind my back.”

  Humiliation and shame seep into my soul. Saying it aloud, admitting it makes me have to take ownership of my own self-destructive lifestyle. “Leila, Amie, and the girls always wanted to do something. One time Leila and Amie were headed out the door each carrying a baseball bat to go teach him a thing or two. Until I stopped them. Telling them that it wasn’t worth it and promised that things would get better. Then the next time something happened, they begged me to go to the police, but I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t let them do it either. It got to the point that I was so tired of promising that things would get better while deep down knowing that they wouldn’t. So, I just started making up stories as to how I got the bruises or cuts. I thought I deserved everything I got. I held onto the illusion that once I’d paid the price that he had chosen for me that he would stop. That life would go back the way it was before…”

  I feel my body trembling uncontrollably. Justin takes my hand and moves from the floor to the bed and sits right next to me. He wraps his strong arms around me and rests his head on my shoulder. In his arms is the one place in this world that I truly feel safe.

  He whispers in my ear, “Everything’s going to be alright. I promise. No one will ever hurt you again.” He leans back from our embrace carefully wiping my remaining tears away with the pads of his thumbs. “Do you understand me?”

  Accentuating each word. “No one will ever hurt you again.”

  Nodding my head yes, I lean into him and gently press my lips to his. It isn’t a devouring I want to fuck your brains out kiss. Our connection right this minute is at a totally different level. It is very tender, slow, and affectionate. There’s a feeling deep within my soul that makes me believe every word he said. No one will ever hurt me again.

  I pull away, looking directly into his eyes. “Thank you. From the deepest parts of my being. Thank you.”

  The smile on his face is genuine and heartfelt. “There’s nothing to thank me for.”

  Justin tucks me into bed and heads out of the room, but not before stopping in the doorway, looking back at me for just a moment with the most content look on his face. He’s gone for only a few minutes. He’s cleaned the blood from his face and has a bandage over the cut. He gets into bed, carefully pulling me into his arms. I snuggle into his embrace.

  “Sarah, I know that what you’ve shared with me was huge for you. Thanks so much for telling me, and I’m sorry for the situation we were in when you told me.”

  He’s right, what I’ve shared or better yet confessed has been of epic proportions for me. But to be honest, it felt good. No, it felt amazing to be able to put that kind of soul sucking demon out into the universe and not have the ground open up and swallow me whole. Better yet, not to be judged or ridiculed for it.

  It’s so hard to believe that just earlier today I was ready to get my shit and leave. Knowing that for sure that I was just a pawn in some sick game he was playing. But now, knowing what he did. I know that he is everything I had hoped he was. It has crushed every sick doubt I had about him. About us.

  Justin tightens his arms around me. “I know you’ve probably heard this before. That accident wasn’t your fault. There’s only one person at fault, and that’s the bastard who was driving the vehicle that hit them. Now, as far as how life was handled after the accident. That fault lies totally on your dad’s shoulders. You were just a kid. A kid who just lost her mom and sister. It was your dad’s job to stand up and be a man. His job was to take care of his family. You, you were his family. It was his job, not yours.”

  I repeatedly trace the ink that lines his arms that cradle me. “You know just w
hat to say don’t you?”

  “Know this about me. I don’t just say bullshit to make a situation better. I mean every word I say. And I’m going to tell you again. It wasn’t your fault. You don’t ever have to worry about that bastard again.”

  Soft light starts to peek through the windows. Justin pulls the blankets up over our shoulders and wraps his arm back around me. Kissing the back of my shoulder. “Come on, Kitten, let’s get some sleep.”

  Chapter Seven

  I wake up to the faint sound of a knocking. “Ms. Sarah. Ms. Sarah, are you awake?”

  I get my senses about me and realize it's Darla is standing in the doorway holding my cell phone towards me. There’s a heavy weight around my waist when I try to move. Once I realize it's Justin’s arm I can’t help but smile.

  In a soft whisper, “Ms. Sarah, I’m sorry to wake you but it’s your phone, it keeps ringing. I thought it might be important.”

  “That’s okay, Sweetie. Do you mind bringing it over here to me?”

  She tiptoes over to the bed, and just as she reaches out to hand it to me, Justin lets out a loud, goofy roar and grabs Darla’s hand. We both scream like the girls we are and Justin busts out laughing.

  “That wasn’t funny!” She yells.

  Still rolling with laughter. “Yeah, it was!”

  Darla sticks her tongue out at him before she turns around and stomps out of the room. I can hear her giggle as she makes her way down the hall.

  I turn my head looking back at him. “She’s right, that wasn’t funny. Just remember paybacks are hell.”

  Justin snuggles into me. “Hmm, I look forward to it.”

  I take a look at my phone to see who’s been calling and I’m not at all surprised that’s it, Leila. I am however surprised that she’s called seven times and text ten times within the past hour. I lean up on my elbow and scroll through the text. They were all the same thing. Call me. I have no idea what would be so urgent. Unless something happened at Delish.