Belong

by NB Baker

  He traces the shape of my hand with his finger then pulls away from the glass. He doesn’t respond. I hear a noise that sounds like the bathroom door closing. I guess that I scared him off.

  I stand under the water for a few minutes. I’m not thinking of me, or this being a case of him rejecting me. But wondering what’s going through his mind. What’s his reasoning? I don’t think it’s some deceitful game anymore. But it doesn’t make sense. There’s obviously some sort of issue. Was he abused as a child? No, there’s no way in fucking hell that could be the case. He worships his family. I don’t see there being some dark family secret. Then again, who was that boy who looked just like Justin in that picture? Fuck, I wish I could just understand. I wish he would give some hint or clue so I could make heads or tails of it. Hundreds of questions flood my mind. I pour some shampoo into the palm of my hand and start working it through my hair.

  The sound of the shower door is starting to open jerks me out of my engrossed state. I stop working the shampoo washing through my hair and just stand there in awe, staring. I didn’t think he could be any more glorious, but I was wrong. Every single inch of him is absolutely gorgeous from head to toe. I’m completely enthralled with watching him looking at me as he slowly steps closer.

  “Here, let me help you with that.”

  Justin starts to work the soap through my hair. He doesn’t say a word, only stares into my eyes. I want to reach out and touch him, but I don’t want to break this connection between us. I close my eyes when he lifts my chin, letting the water flow over my hair. When he stops running his fingers through my hair, I lower my head and open my eyes very slowly. His gorgeous brown eyes have darkened, and his face is completely serious. Neither of us has spoken a single word. He puts soap in his hands and starts caressing my neck and shoulders. Running his hands slowly down and back up my arms. There’s no hiding how extremely turned on I am right now. Goosebumps are forming all over my body. My nipples reach out in anticipation of his touch. Desire builds deep within my core. I want to touch him so badly but refrain. I watch his hands as he works his way down to my breasts. He takes a ragged breath as he runs this thumbs across my nipples and cupping my tits together. I arch my back into his touch.

  He pins my hands above my head, looking directly into my eyes. “You are so fucking beautiful.”

  The water cascades down around us as he crushes his lips against mine. There’s so much desire, passion, and raw hunger in his kiss. It feels like my is going to explode right out of my chest. Then just like that, he stops. Resting his forehead against mine and letting go of his grip around my wrists. I let my arms slowly fall back to my sides. Here I am again in this familiar situation. I’m beyond baffled. I don’t get it at all. Even though it’s exasperating as fuck both emotionally and physically, I don’t let it show. I pull my head away from his and look into his eyes. I don’t break the silence. I don’t touch him. The look on his face is different this time. Before it’s been that of frustration. But this time his face is serious, his eyes are dark and hooded. They’re filled with fire and passion.

  He doesn’t break eye contact with me. In a low tone, almost a whisper, he mutters, “Fuck!”

  He reaches down, grabbing behind my knees lifting me up. I wrap my legs around him, and he plunges deep inside of me. The feeling of us having the ultimate connection is more than I ever imagined. Burying my face into his neck to muffle my cries. I dig my nails into his back, raking them across his skin, trying to pull him closer. Justin lets out a low deep moan as he starts to move slowly.

  He keeps his rhythm slow but dives a little deeper each time. He reaches up grabbing my hair, pulling my head away from his neck. “I want to see you.”

  He stares into my eyes like he’s trying to look into my soul. Then he slowly runs his gaze down my body. When coming to my swollen nipples, he pushes my back against the shower wall. When he removes one of his arms from around my ass, I brace myself the best I can. He cups one of my tits in his hand and rubs his thumb over my nipple. I let out a cry when he slams deep inside of me and pinches my nipple at the same time.

  He continues to slide in and out of me. My body starts to tingle, and I know that I’m going to cum any second. I call out his name and beg him not to stop. He stops and crushes his mouth against mine.

  I break away from our kiss. “Please, don’t stop.”

  He slides in and out slowly, causing me to build again. He takes one of my hands and spreads my fingers in the shape of a V. Then places my parted fingers on each side of his cock where he’s entering me. It intensifies the feeling of him moving inside of me. With each thrust he pulls out far enough that I can feel the rim of the head of his cock. I didn’t think it could feel any more intense but I was wrong. Not only am I feeling him inside me but to also feeling him move between my fingers. I can’t hold back; the feeling is too powerful. Removing my hand from between us, I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his shoulder. I scream out his name. His pace quickens and each move he makes is precise causing my body to tremble out of control as pure pleasure erupts inside my body swallowing my whole.

  Even in my dazed and dizzy state I feel him pull me in closer as his body starts to jerk. His breathing is labored and he groans as he hammers into me a few more times. He presses his head into my neck. Even though I just experienced an orgasm of a lifetime having him still inside of me is turning me on. When he pulls out and sets me to my feet my legs are weak. We stand in each other’s arms under the cascading water until the water starts turning cold.

  Justin steps out of the shower wrapping a towel around his waist. Taking my hand, he aids me in stepping out of the shower. He pulls another towel from the cabinet and starts to dry me off. He doesn’t miss a single inch of my wet body. When he’s done, he wraps the towel around me.

  Justin runs his hands down my arms before holding both my hands in his.

  Pulling me close and wrapping me in his arms, he lowers his head and lets out a sigh. “I’m sorry.”

  I pull back so I can see his face. “For what?”

  “For letting that happen.”

  “Justin, what could you possibly have to be sorry about? That was incredible. The connection that we shared was unbelievable. At least it was for me.” I put my hand under his chin forcing him to look at me. “To be one with you… I felt real, more alive than I ever have in my entire life. I’ve felt dead inside for so long. Then when I met you, I started to feel semi-human again. Like I might just have a place, a meaning in this world. To be with you in that way, its makes me feel that I’m actually alive not just existing.” I can feel my emotions getting the best of me. “Didn’t you feel it too? Was it just me?”

  “No, Kitten, that’s not it.”

  “What, did you think…that I was a virgin?”

  “No, not that.”

  I don’t know what it could be that he could be sorry about. In a desperate voice I huff out, “Then what?”

  He pauses for a moment. I don’t know if he’s unsure about what he’s going to say or if he’s just trying to find the right words. “I just wanted you to be certain.”

  I’m so fucking confused. “Certain about what?”

  “Certain that you knew without a shadow of a doubt that you loved me.”

  He lets out a long breath that I don’t think even he realized he was holding. With the sincerest expression on his face. “That’s all I wanted, you to love me first.”

  I’m so overwhelmed by what he just said. “Justin, I don’t think it could be possible for me to love you more than I do at this moment.”

  Chapter Eight

  It’s entertaining to watch Justin having fun with his friends. It’s easy to see that they haven’t hung out in a while. They’re smacking each other around, talking shit about who could kick whose ass and who’s the biggest pussy. Seriously it’s like total testosterone overload in here. At first, I felt a little awkward, not knowing what to say or what to do. Justin hasn’t let me lift a f
inger, so it’s not like I can keep myself busy by doing mindless stuff. I’ve been sitting amongst all the Y chromosomes trying to interject whenever they shut up long enough for me to get a word in. It’s to the point that I’m about ready to start shit talking right along with them and smacking each one on the ass after they say something that totally burns one of the other guys. Like football players do to each other when something good happens. It’s been said that women don’t stop talking when they get together. Well, whoever said that obviously has never met this group of guys.

  Good hell! Slowly, some of the guy’s girlfriends start to trickle in. All of them are so drop-dead gorgeous. It’s fucking intimidating as hell. My green monster doesn’t let me down. I start wondering if Justin has been in any relationship with any of them. I look down at my plain Jane appearance with disappointment. I try to appear to have more self-confidence than I have. I sit a little straighter, fluff my out of control red curls a bit, and mash my lips together, trying to give them some color.

  Shit! The truth is though, they’ve gone out of their way to make me feel comfortable and included. My bruises have healed up a lot, so I don’t have that twisting feeling in my gut every time someone looks at me that I’m being judged or looked down upon. The longer the night goes on, the more at ease I become. It’s not quite the same as having people I know and that I'm used to being around here, but these people are pretty damn cool.

  I’ve been sitting in the living room talking to one of the guys named Jordan. Justin has told me a lot about him. They met while they were doing some sort of training in New York. He said that they became best of friends and eventually business partners.

  I knew he was a good person, just like Justin within the first few minutes of talking to him. He just gives off this wholesome, genuine vibe. He wasn’t trying to impress anyone by telling outlandish stories. He talked to me like we’d known each other for years. He shows me pictures of his family. His wife, Jenika is beautiful and his baby girl. Oh my god! She is the most beautiful baby I’ve ever seen. I mean, seriously, this little one should be in TV commercials or some shit. She’s got these big brown eyes, round rosy little cheeks, and dark curly hair. It’s easy to tell that he is a very proud husband and dad. His eyes light up as he talks about them.

  Jordan gets a guilty look on his face. “Shit, I’m sorry. Here I am just talking all about myself and family.”

  He looks down at the picture that’s still lighting up the screen on his phone. “I just love them so much. These two are my entire world.”

  I’m feeling a little melancholy. Seeing a dad love his family so much. “No, you’re fine. You have a beautiful family. It’s wonderful to see how proud you are of them.”

  He shoves his phone in the pocket of his jeans. “So, are you from here?”

  “Yeah, born and raised.”

  “Tell me about yourself.”

  “Oh, ya know, nothing too exciting. Work, eat and sleep. That’s about it.”

  “Ahh, you’re one of those who doesn't like to talk about themselves. That’s cool. So, tell me about you and Justin. How’d you guys meet?”

  He was dead on with the not liking talking about myself issue. So, he went with a safe subject, something that I could talk about forever. I decided to go with the simple PG version.

  The doorbell rings and Justin rushes out of the kitchen to answer it. Looking over at the couch with a smartass smirk on his face he points at Jordan. “You’d better not be making the moves on my girl.”

  Jordan throws his hands up into the air. “Well shit! There go my plans! Fuck it, I’m going home.” He grins.

  The smell of pizza fills the air, then I hear familiar voices coming from outside. No freaking way! It’s Leila, Amie, and Oscar. I jump up off the couch and run to the door. Oscar comes through the door first. He swoops me up like a groom would his bride and swings me around in circles. I hold tight around his neck as our laughter fills the air.

  He puts me down on my feet, with a huge grin on his face. “You look good kid. You, look good.”

  Leila shoves the pizzas toward Oscar. “Here, ya big lug, take these. I need a hug.”

  Oscar looks at Amie. “You heard her, ya big lug, take the pizza’s she wants a hug.” He opens his arms up as to insinuate that Leila wanted to hug him.

  Leila shoves the pizzas into his arms while Amie smacks him upside the back of the head. Then we simultaneously wrap our arms around each other and share the biggest hug. When we finally pull back from each other both Amie and Leila have tears in their eyes. Leila tries to hide it, but Aime starts crying like a baby. She’s always been the type to wear her emotions on her sleeve.

  I’m confused as to what the water works are all about. Yeah, it’s been a while since I’ve seen them. “Why are you two crying?”

  Leila’s immediate response as she wipes away a tear. “I’m not crying. I have allergies.”

  Amie rolls her eyes. “Well, I sure the fuck am. It’s so great to see you, and it’s even better to see you looking so fucking awesome.”

  They both wrap their arms around me again for what seems like a never-ending hug. I make eye contact with Justin, and he gives me the sweetest smile. He looks happy to see my friends so excited to see me.

  Justin takes the pizza boxes from Oscar. “Come on, let’s give them a minute. Ya know, to not cry and stuff.”

  Leila lets out a loud sob, and we all start laughing. Oscar follows Justin to the kitchen. I overhear Oscar say, ”Emotional coked out hens,” between his deep husky chuckles. I start to laugh and cry simultaneously. It feels good to have my favorite people in the same house. We finally break apart from our embrace and sit on the couch. Jordan must have gotten the hell out of dodge when we turned into ‘emotional coked out hens.’

  Leila immediately starts in the with questions. I must admit that I’m not at all surprised that the first question out of her mouth is what Justin’s like in bed. I know my face is beet ass red.

  “Oh, come on, Sarah! You’re not fooling anyone. Fuck, your face is as red as a damn fire truck. Don’t even try to play it off that you haven’t gotten that stud out of the stable. That you haven’t done any playing on that flute. That you haven’t…”

  Holding up my hand, I cut her off before she can come up with another crude ass analogy for sex. Sitting up straight, I square my shoulders, cross my hands, laying them in my lap. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell,” I mock.

  Without hesitation, Amie chimes in, “Well, since there aren’t any of those in the room, spill the beans, bitch. Quit holding out on us!”

  Just as if on cue, Justin comes out of the kitchen. “Hey! What are you ladies talking about.”

  Amie and Leila both give me a sly glance. Leila lifts her eyebrow. “Oh, Sarah was just getting ready to tell us a story.”

  Amie nods her head. “Yeah, a bedtime story.”

  Justin vigorously rubs his hands together and has a little bounce in his step as he walks over and sits on the arm of the couch next to me. “Ooh, I love a good bedtime story.”

  Laughing, I shake my head no. “Nope. This isn’t going to happen.”

  Justin kisses the top of my head. “Well, fine. Probably better this way because we’re getting ready to get a poker game started. You ladies in?”

  Without hesitation, Leila jumps to her feet. “Hell yeah! Pizza and Poker. Get ready to have your asses handed to you, chumps.”

  We all follow Leila to the kitchen. Justin and I walk with our arms around each other.

  I look up at him and smile.

  He returns with the sweetest smile, squeezing my arm that’s around his waist. “What’s up, Kitten?”

  “Nothing. Just happy.”

  “Your happiness isn’t nothing. It’s everything to me.”

  The room is filled with laughter when we walk in. Leila takes a seat next to Oscar and Justin holds his hand out offering me the last seat at the table.

  “Oh, shit no! Believe it or not, I’ve never been very
lucky at poker. I think I’ll sit this one out.”

  Pointing at Aime, who’s sitting on the counter drinking a beer. “I’ll watch from over there.”

  Justin leads me over, grabbing me around the waist, lifting me onto the counter. He steps in between my legs wrapping his hand around the back of my neck pulling me down to him. Pressing his lips against mine. His tongue begs entrance into my mouth. Making slow circles with mine until we are doing some kind of erotic dance. I’m totally enthralled in this moment, in him. I don’t even give a shit that there are others in the room.

  He pulls away, giving me a wink. “Ya know, for good luck.”

  Amie hands me a beer. A look of awe on her face. “Damn!”

  For the rest of the night, the room is filled with the sound of laughter, cheers, whoops, and hollers. Justin shoots me sultry glances all night. I can’t help but blush every time he does it. Each time he gets up to do something, he always comes over to me, touching my face or gives me a kiss.

  Leila is cleaning house at the poker table. Justin throws his hands up in the air. “That’s it I’m out!”

  Everyone calls him a pussy or quitter and begs him to say. Shaking his head, no, he laughs as he makes his way over to where I’m standing. Wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me into him. That’s when I feel his rock hard cock pressing against my side.

  He leans down and pulling my ear lobe into his mouth, sucking and biting. Then he takes my hand and whispers, “Come with me.”

  He quietly leads me out of the kitchen, past the living room where a few people watching a fight on TV and down the hallway.

  Justin’s strides are long, and I have to almost jog to keep up. “Where are we going?”

  He stops, turning around, pinning me against the wall. Hovering over me, he bends down so that his mouth is right next to my ear. He slides one hand under my shirt, cupping my tit. Then begins to pinch and roll my swollen nipple between his fingers. “I’ve been watching you all night. Every time I looked at you, I couldn’t think of anything else but to be inside you again. To have you begging me, calling my name. I’ve waited so long for you. Now that I know you’re mine, you’re all I want. I can’t wait another minute.”