Bittersweet Promises

by Patricia Watters

  Weary and emotionally drained from a long trying day, she closed camp for the weekend and returned to her cabin. But instead of a shower intended to strip off dust, grime and forest debris, she immersed herself in a tub of warm water, leaned against the sloped porcelain back of the footed tub, and inhaled the fragrance of jasmine. She'd never used colognes or bath salts when she was seventeen because Zak didn't want her to wear scents of any kind, claiming he liked the smell of warm fresh woman, and he'd prove it to her by nuzzling her all over. Adam checking out Eve was the way he explained it. But Zak wasn't a consideration now, and she liked the hint of flowers on her skin. It also gave her a feeling of empowerment, going against what she knew Zak would expect of the Tess O'Reilly he'd left behind.

  After her bath, she sorted through her clothes, debating what to wear. Seven years before she would have worn tight jeans and a snug fitting shirt that emphasized her figure because Zak liked her dressed that way, calling her his little logger lady. But David encouraged her to emphasize her femininity, claiming he liked her in black because, with her dark hair, it made her look mysterious. She held up a black jersey with long sleeves and smoothed it against her chest as she peered into the mirror. "Goodbye logger lady," she mumbled, and without further deliberation, tugged the jersey over her head, put on a pair of black slacks, and slipped her bare feet into fake alligator flip flops.

  At Zak's cabin, she stepped onto the porch and knocked lightly.

  When he opened the door, he said nothing as his gaze moved slowly down the length of her, causing her breath to quicken and her cheeks to burn. Uncomfortable with his silent perusal, she said in a clipped dry tone, "Maybe we could get on with the reason you wanted me to come."

  "Sorry. I didn't mean to stare. It just seems strange seeing you dressed the way you are." He moved aside, and as she passed him, Tess caught the drift of men's aftershave, which surprised her. He never wore aftershave before. But maybe that was because she'd told him she wanted her Adam to smell like ferns and moss and whatever clung to him on the forest floor, and he'd laughed and promised to remain her nature boy. So, it seemed, turnabout was fair play. He was going against what she liked, just as she was doing with him.

  Once inside, she wondered what to say next. It had been so easy for them to talk before, but now, what was there to say to a man who promised her the world then walked out of her life, shattering her dreams without so much as an explanation?

  Zak broke the awkwardness by lifting a bottle of wine from a wooden rack, and saying, "You're over twenty-one now. Do you want a glass of wine? It's from our private stock."

  Tess couldn't help thinking it would be strange drinking wine with Zak. Although they'd made love too many times that summer to count, Zak never offered her wine because she was only seventeen. She never questioned why giving her alcohol was an issue with him, while having sex with an underage girl wasn't, because she didn't want him to have a reason to stop. The fact was, she'd wanted to get pregnant that summer so she could tie Zak to her forever, but when he gave her the ring and talked about them marrying as soon as she turned eighteen, she didn't worry anymore because she knew his love was eternal.

  "Well?" Zak asked.

  "I suppose." But her gaze wasn't focused on the bottle Zak held up for her to see. It was on his broad chest in the snug, long-sleeved white jersey. Not the kind of shirt she expected. Years before it would have been a worn denim work shirt, unless he was working in the afternoon when the sun was hot and he'd be bare-chested. He'd been slimmer then, and she could see from the muscular contours beneath his shirt that his chest was thicker and his biceps more developed, as if he'd been working out. The patterns on his shirt were also different from what she might have expected, random designs in dark grays, like a giant tattoo.

  Catching the direction of her gaze, Zak glanced down at the shirt, then looked at her and said, "It's a Christmas gift from my brother, Vince. I thought it would be right for chopping my way through brush."

  "And the aftershave?" Tess asked before she could stop herself.

  "I wore it to catch your notice."

  "It did, but it doesn't suit you."

  "I could say the same about you in black, but I'd be lying."

  Tess shrugged. "My ex-husband liked me in black."

  The expression on Zak's face clearly showed his surprise that she'd been married, which gave her a twisted sense of pleasure.

  Zak handed her a wine glass. "And you're still trying to please him?"

  Tess shrugged. "No. It's the first thing I grabbed before coming here."

  "Good choice." Zak poured wine into her glass, and when he set the bottle down she saw the distinctive black-and-gold de Neuville label with a gold ram's head on it. "My father's proud of this run. It's called Florencia. It won a gold medal at the national competition."

  When Tess sipped the wine, the bouquet filled her nostrils. "Why Florencia?" she asked, while her eyes focused on a masculine mouth she'd once coveted.

  "It's Basque for high mountain flower. It's made with flower petals, some from around this area." Zak eyed her steadily, his gaze intense, and she wondered if he was remembering the day he made the garland for her head from high mountain flowers, and the lovemaking that followed.

  Wanting to dismiss that thought, she lifted the bottle and while studying the label, she said, "Then I assume you're working at the winery now."

  "No, I'm in charge of Spencer Wildlife Park. I help at the winery on occasion, but my work at the park takes priority."

  Tess looked up in surprise. "I don't understand. You always intended to raise sheep on your family's place in Navarre."

  "My degree's in wildlife management," Zak said, and offered nothing more.

  Tess found that puzzling. Before, he'd had no interest in college. He'd grown up working in the winery, but his heart was set on raising sheep, and by the time he was twenty he'd already begun building up a small herd. But she also remembered him being at odds with his father that summer. According to him, everything was either his father's way, or no way. He told her back then that moving into the cabin and signing on with Timber West was an escape. Maybe college had also been an escape.

  "Have you been here long?" she asked, an attempt at casual conversation, when what she wanted was to fire a barrage of questions at him: Why did you leave me without a word? Where did you go? Why didn't you come back? Why did you let me marry a man I didn't love?

  "About six weeks," Zak replied. "That's when I was appointed head of the wildlife park. We're in the process of reinstating the bald eagle on Santa Catalina Island. We'll be taking chicks from nests with twins and transporting them to California, but first I have to fly over established nests to see if they're occupied." He looked at her, curiously. "Do you still fly?"

  Tess nodded. "I no longer have a plane though. My husband got custody of it when we divorced, but my dad still has his. He said I could take it up if I wanted."

  "Then you're still certified?"

  "Yes, but that doesn't mean I fly. Right now Timber West is operating in the red, and flying costs money, so it'll be a while before I go up again."

  "How about Sunday?"

  "What are you talking about?"

  "The park plane's in for an engine overhaul and I need to fly over some nests before the chicks fledge and time's running out. Maybe you could take me up. The park has funds. I'd make it well worth your while."

  Tess had no intention of taking Zak up in her father's plane. Still, she found herself asking, "Where would you want to fly?"

  "Just around the area." Zak said. "I have nests pinpointed on a map. But I'd also like to touch down at the Pine Mountain ranger station and talk to the park ranger there. Do you know Ralph Tolsted?"

  Tess shook her head. "I know where the Pine Mountain station is though. Dad and I flew over it a few times, even landed there once. Dad didn't like the landing strip though, said it was the shortest strip he'd ever used. Why Pine Mountain?"

  "I want to check
a nest there and talk to Tolsted about other nests in the area. Timing's everything right now. Most of the chicks are ready to fledge."

  Tess eyed him with indecision then caught herself. There was no way she'd take him up. Zak living in the cabin where her father found them was bad enough. Taking him up in her father's plane would set her relationship with her father back years if he found out, and she was home to try and close the rift between them.

  "It shouldn't take more than an hour, two at the most with a short stop at Pine Mountain," Zak cut into her musings. "Besides, it'll give me a chance to be piloted by the grown up version of the fourteen year old scrap of a girl who bragged years ago that she could fly a plane."

  Tess couldn't help smiling, which brought a smile from Zak, a smile she'd tried to hold in memory over the years. A smile that still made her heart flutter and her breath quicken.

  "Like I said, I'll make it worth your while, adding a couple hundred bucks out of my own pocket and I'll take you to dinner afterwards. It's pretty important work we're doing."

  Tess drew in a long breath to clear her head. "I suppose it would he alright if it's not more than a couple of hours. We do need the money. But I'll pass on dinner." She knew, for a fact, that she would not go anywhere with him beyond the flight.

  "Good. I'll secure funds for a couple hours flying time."

  "It better be enough to repair a skidder tire, and the only reason I'm willing to do it at all is because Timber West is in dire need of funds at the moment."

  When Zak gave her a quote that covered the repair of the tire and then some, she knew she couldn’t turn it down. "So, show me where the surveyors claim the line runs."

  "Come on over to the table." Zak rolled out a survey map and put four mugs on the corners to hold it flat, and Tess walked over to the table and started studying the map.

  Zak moved to stand beside her and said, while dragging his finger over the map. "Your cabin's here, this is the road that runs between your cabin and the camp, right here is where one designated marker is, and the other is here." His finger stopped precisely on the grotto.

  "But our Ada... that is, the... old oak tree is a line marker," Tess said, "which puts the grotto clearly on Timber West land." In an instant, she was flooded with memories of hands exploring bodies, and toes curling against cool moss, and flesh against flesh, and forbidden desires.

  After a stretch of awkward silence, Zak said, "According to the survey, Timber West land stops ten feet this side of the... old oak. The trees your father cut are over here on our land." He removed his finger from the grotto.

  Tess released the breath she'd been holding and stepped around the table, away from the distraction of having Zak's chest touching her shoulder and his breath wafting against her hair, to where she could study the map more closely. As she did, to her dismay, she saw that the trees cut had clearly been on de Neuville land. "Okay, so maybe the survey's right, but I don't want to upset my father over four trees. I'll pay your father for the trees and make sure no more are cut. Just don't let your father do anything right now."

  "It's not that simple. My father plans to finish logging the property so he can stretch a deer fence around it and put in vineyards, and this has to be resolved."

  Tess looked at him in alarm. "Can't you stall the fence work in that area, or at least leave it for later there? My father's health it frail right now and I don't want this upsetting him."

  Zak sighed. "I'll see what I can do. Meanwhile, I'll tell my father that one of your father's men inadvertently logged on our land and no more trees will be cut. With luck, my father will drop the issue." He removed the mugs and rolled up the map and offered it to her. "Show this to your father so he can see where the line runs. That should settle it."

  Tess shook her head. "I'll pay for the trees and make sure no more are cut."

  Zak sighed. "Suit yourself. So then, taking me up in the plane's a go?"

  "I suppose, but I don't want my father to know. It would only upset him."

  Zak's eyes sharpened with the old enmity Tess knew he held for her father. Then he shrugged and said, "He won't hear it from me."

  "Then I'll pick you up around two on Sunday." Tess grabbed her flashlight, turned and left. As she made her way back to her cabin she considered the ramifications of taking Zak up in her father's plane. He'd be furious if he knew, and he didn't need that stress.

  She also knew Zak had the same effect on her as in the past. Nothing had changed. But after Sunday's flight there would be no more dealings with him. He'd left her once. He'd leave her again. There was no place in her life for Zak de Neuville now.

  CHAPTER 3

  The following day, Tess walked up the bank of stairs leading to the front porch of the house in Baker’s Creek where she grew up, and when she stepped into the living room, she detected the unmistakable aroma of cinnamon and warm yeast. Her Aunt Ella met her at the door. "Hi, sweetie," Ella said. "You'd better go into the kitchen and assure your father you got through your first day at camp in one piece. He's been in a stew all morning waiting to hear from you."

  "How's he doing otherwise?" Tess asked.

  Ella pursed her lips. "He's as cantankerous as an old dog. I only put up with him because I know underneath that crusty exterior he's soft as a kitten."

  Tess laughed. "Did you give him what for, for going to camp yesterday?"

  "You better believe I did. I turn my back for a couple of hours and he's off. Well, he's not getting away today and I let him know it."

  Tess followed her aunt through the dining room. "How is he taking his confinement?"

  Ella glanced back. "He grumbled something about domineering women, and I reminded him it was a matter of survival of the fittest." She tapped her brother's shoulder on the way to the stove. "Tess is here." She set a platter with scrambled eggs and hash browns in the middle of the table, then donned a pair of mitts and lifted a tray of fresh baked cinnamon rolls out of the oven and set them on a hot pad beside the platter of eggs and hash browns.

  Tess kissed her father on the forehead. "Well, I survived my first day at Timber West."

  Gib dished a portion of eggs from the platter. "Did you have any problem with Jed Swenson?"

  Tess sat across from him and reached for a cinnamon roll. "No, he never showed up. Am I supposed to put up with behavior like that, or can I fire him?"

  A worried frown creased Gib's brow. "Don't be too quick to do that. Swenson's a good worker, knows logging and equipment, but he can be kind of stubborn at times."

  Ella let out a chuckle. "If that's not the pot calling the kettle black."

  Tess winked at her aunt, then said to her father, "Swenson wasn't at the meeting in the cook shack or at my office as I requested. He's openly defying me. Do you put up with that?"

  "I haven't been around him that much," Gib said. "I hired him a few weeks before my heart attack and I was lucky to get him. Before you fire him, you'd better have someone in mind who'll step in. Word's out that Carl Yaeger's about to buy the tract between Timber West and the ridge, and if he does, he'll be hiring. If you get rid of Swenson you might find yourself without a woods boss and no one to take his place."

  "Swenson's not any use to me right now," Tess said. "If he doesn't show up soon, I'll have to let him go, If Carl Yaeger buys the tract, do you think he'll allow us to cut through his land like we always have?"

  Gib shrugged. "I hope so. If he doesn't we're in trouble. There's no other access to the pole timber, unless de Neuville lets us go through his land, and we know the answer to that."

  Tess jumped at the chance to broach the subject of the cut trees. "Have you ever had our property surveyed?"

  Gib glanced up. "There's no need. I know where the line runs."

  "How do you know if you've never had it surveyed? You could end up accidentally cutting timber on someone else's land. It just seems like a good idea to make sure."

  Gib eyed Tess with annoyance. "I'm not gonna pay some half-wit to come with his fancy e
quipment and try to tell me what I already know."

  "Then I'll do it for you," Tess said. "That way we'll find out exactly where the line runs so we won't have to worry."

  "I'm not worried, and I don't want to hear any more about surveys."

  "If you don't want to hear about it from me, you'll be hearing from Alesander de Neuville," Tess said, her voice rising with her frustration. "He had a survey done and it shows that the property line runs forty feet from where you think it is."

  Gib said nothing, his means of ending the discussion, and Tess knew better than to pursue the issue. But after he finished eating and left to work on his truck, Ella said, "He gets more stubborn as he gets older, so you might as well save your breath about those trees. How was the cabin? I'd hoped to get out there and scrub it down before you moved in."

  "It was in pretty good shape," Tess said. "A little sweeping and it was livable."

  Ella sighed. "I don't know why your father's holding onto the place. Everything needs painting or fixing. He'll work himself to death out there."

  "He'll die quicker if he sells and does nothing," Tess said. "It would be like admitting to himself that he's old and washed up and he's not ready for that, and when he does decide to sell, I know he'll hold out until he gets what he thinks the place is worth, whether it is or not."

  Ella sighed. "You're right about that, but it'll be years before the timber industry recovers from the slump, and running the camp's not a life for you."

  "I don't plan to run it forever, but I do want to get the business out of the red and Dad through this period so when he is ready to sell he'll have something worth selling."

  Ella looked at Tess with concern. "That's all well and good, but I don't like the idea of you out there in the cabin with no one else around."

  Tess gave Ella a confident smile. "The men are five minutes up the road at the bunkhouse."