Bittersweet Promises

by Patricia Watters

  "Not anymore," Herring replied.

  Tess parked her hands on her hips and smiled. Then her smile vanished when she realized she'd have to fix food for the crew. She scanned the men. "Okay, boys, find something to do for thirty minutes while I fix breakfast."

  The men grumbled and trudged out of the cook shack, while Tess started breakfast for eight hungry loggers. A half hour later, the men gathered around the table again. Tess barely finished grating yesterday's boiled potatoes for hash browns when the platter of last night's reheated dinner rolls she'd just set on the table was empty. The room quaked with drumming fingers and tapping feet. "Pour yourselves coffee and hang in there," she said to the men, then turned to the counter to peel more potatoes to fry.

  "Damn old coot can't even crawl out of the sack long enough to feed us," Mac groused.

  "Come on Mac," Herring said. "He hasn't got many years of ruttin' left. Let him be."

  Tess ignored the comments and when another round of biscuits were done she launched them down the long table, then followed with a platter of sausages and a bowl of gravy. Hands reached out, and within minutes, both platter and pan were empty and Herring was swabbing the gravy bowl with a biscuit.

  Tess slapped another four pounds of sausage onto the griddle and checked the oven for the next batch of biscuits. She dumped another round of well-browned-to-charred potatoes onto a large serving plate, slid the plate along the table, and finished turning the sausages.

  Meanwhile in the oven, the biscuits burned. By the time she opened the door, it was too late. Smoke poured out and rose to the ceiling of the cook shack. While on the stove, the sausages charred and the gravy scorched. Damn Ezzie! She slid the platter of overcooked sausages and the rest of the burnt biscuits down the table.

  Nothing in life prepared her to cook for a crew of hungry men.

  "Sorry, boys, that's all there is," she said. Dusting her hands, she threw her dish towel on the table and left for Baker’s Creek and the Blue Ox Cafe.

  An hour later, she gave up her search. No one in town had seen either Ezzie or Becky Tyson, and the cafe was closed with no explanation. Frustrated, she headed back to Timber West. But as she drove, her thoughts kept returning to Zak. In fact, she had trouble keeping her mind on anything but him. With all the problems between their fathers, it seemed pointless to consider rebuilding what they'd once had, and after Zak's hollow explanation about why he married so soon, she thought she'd put an end to that notion. Yet, she couldn't seem to set it aside.

  In spite of what she'd said to him about their past relationship being sex without substance, she knew it had been more. He'd been her whole life back then, and she would have run away with him if it came to that. And Zak wouldn't have gone to the trouble of buying a gold ring and having it engraved if getting her into bed was his motive because she'd been more than willing.

  She also wanted to spend time with him, even found herself making up reasons to stop by his place. Did he have any extra outdoor light bulbs? Could she borrow his loppers to clear some blackberries behind the cabin? But then she remembered how senseless it would be. Even if she was reconciled to his hasty marriage, his father's mandate that he marry a Basque woman still held if Zak wanted to maintain his position as etcheko primu. Which brought her full circle.

  She was still contemplating Zak when she arrived at Timber West. But as she was walking toward the cook shack, the sound of clattering metal in concert with the roar of an approaching vehicle brought her head around.

  Ezzie's old truck, dragging several strings of tin cans behind, rattled to a stop. Scrawled across the back window in large letters were the words JUST MARRIED. When Ezzie stepped from the truck, Tess couldn't contain the wide grin on seeing him wearing a gray suit with a white bow tie, and a pink flower in his lapel. She rushed over to the truck. "Ez," she said, reaching out to give Ezzie a hug. "And Becky." She moved around the truck to hug Ezzie's bride through the open window. Becky's face was as bright as Ezzie's. "You look beautiful," Tess said. "When did all this happen?"

  "A couple of hours ago," Becky replied.

  Ezzie wiggled his eyebrows up and down. "She was a hard woman to convince, but a couple of weeks ago she said 'yes,' and I don't like long engagements. As pretty as she is, she could've been snatched up by somebody else." Becky blushed and said nothing.

  Ezzie turned to Tess. "I'm sorry, TJ. I guess I sort of lost track of time."

  Tess eyed Ezzie with amusement. How could she be angry with someone who grinned the way he was grinning. "You're forgiven this time. What are your plans now?"

  Ezzie gave Tess a sheepish look. "Could I maybe have tomorrow off so I could add it to the weekend for our honeymoon? I promised Becky I'd take her to Crater Lake."

  "Of course," Tess said, knowing she'd regret it come dinner. Hopefully, Curt would keep things moving in the pole timber area while she concentrated on feeding the crew.

  Ezzie's eyes brightened. "Thanks, TJ." He slid into the driver’s seat then waved to the crowd of men who'd gathered to watch the truck as it rattled down the dirt road. Tess grinned until they moved out of sight. But her smile faded when she turned toward the cook shack.

  At dinner she was no more organized than she'd been at breakfast, even though she started preparations almost an hour before. She looked at the somber faces as she cradled a huge bowl of potatoes in the crook of her arm and whipped with quick, agitated strokes, but the lumps defied her. Plunking the bowl on the table, she said, "That's the best I can do."

  Herring scooped out a wad of lumpy potatoes and looked at Tess. "You got any gravy, TJ?"

  "Gravy! Damn!" Tess rushed to the stove as the smell of scorching gravy wafted through the cook shack. With a dishcloth, she grabbed the handle of the big iron skillet and headed for the sink, but before she could get there, the wet dishcloth steamed hot and she dropped the skillet, splattering scorched gravy around the floor. Tears of frustration stung her eyes. She had no idea how Ezzie did it, but she couldn't handle the job alone, nor would the men be satisfied with a meager plate of lumpy potatoes for dinner.

  As she made one last trip to the storage shed to get some cans of chili beans to go with the potatoes, she was surprised to see Zak's truck pull in. He jumped out, leaving Peio in the truck, and walked toward her, a worried frown on his brow. "I'm in a bind," he said. "I can't find Becky and she's supposed to look after Peio."

  "Becky from the Blue Ox?" Tess asked.

  Zak nodded. "How did you know?"

  "Lucky guess. You missed her by about two hours. She and Ezzie were here."

  "Here?" Zak said, incredulous.

  "For a couple of minutes. She and Ezzie are off to Crater Lake for their honeymoon."

  Zak stared at Tess. Then he combed his fingers through his hair, and said, "I knew I should've called and reminded her. I've got to meet my assistant for a couple of nest climbs, and I can't take Peio with me because it's dense forest where we’re going, and with Becky gone..." He paused, shifting his gaze to Peio in the truck, then to Tess. The frown deepened.

  "How long will you be gone?" Tess asked.

  "That's the problem. We'll be gone overnight," Zak replied. "I've left Peio with Becky overnight before and he likes it there, even helps at the café." He looked at Tess thoughtfully then, and she could almost see the wheels turning.

  She shook her head. "Don't even think about it."

  "It's only for one night," Zak said.

  Tess glanced at Peio, then at the expectant look on Zak's face. "What about your folks? Can't he stay there?"

  Zak shook his head. "They're at a wine competition and won't be back till late tomorrow."

  Tess looked at Peio, whose gaze was not friendly. "You know how he feels about me. Besides, I've never looked after a six-year-old, or any kid for that matter."

  "He doesn't take much watching. He's really very little trouble."

  Tess wasn't sure she could cope with a young boy overnight, especially one who so openly disliked her, but Zak woul
d not have asked if there had been any other way, and it was just for one night. Certainly she could look after one pint-sized adversary for that little time. "Okay, but if he acts up, you'll have to let me discipline him the best way I see fit."

  "He won't give you any trouble." Zak retrieved Peio and the boy's overnight bag from the truck and set it beside Tess.

  Tess gave Peio an apprehensive smile, and said, "I'm glad you'll be staying with me, Peio. We'll try to do something special tonight." She extended her hand.

  Peio backed away and looked at Zak. "I don't want to stay here. I want to go with you."

  Zak crouched in front of Peio and took his hands. "I can't take you with me. I already explained that to you. If I could I would, but it's not possible this time. I love you, and I'll be back tomorrow." He hugged Peio, then said to Tess, "I'll make it up to you when I get back. I promise." He lifted his hand as if to touch her face, then dropped his arm and climbed into his truck.

  Peio stood beside her until Zak had driven off, but when she tried to take his hand to lead him into the cook shack, he looked up with narrowed, resentful eyes, jerked his hand away, and ran toward the bunkhouse. And Tess was reminded again, how many obstacles there were between her and Zak. She heaved a weary sigh. Some things were just not meant to be.

  CHAPTER 9

  The next day, while Peio stood on a stool stirring the huge pot of beans bubbling on the stove, Tess eyed him dubiously. So far today there had been no major incidents, but the night before, Peio tested her patience to the limits by stuffing toilet paper into the bowl and flushing until the water rose and welled over the edge, cascading to the floor. She'd held her temper, but resolved to discuss the incident with Zak. She had no idea how to handle the boy.

  Peio glanced around, and catching her watching, glared at her.

  On the other hand, he'd been a model child with the men while they waited for breakfast earlier. They'd ruffled his hair and tussled with him, and he responded by laughing and wanting more. But once alone with her, he became sullen again. Tess willed herself to be patient, repeating silently that Peio's behavior was the result of being confronted with the prospect of another mother when he hadn't let go of the one he'd lost. She even considered assuring him that she was not, and would never be, a contender for a mother because his father would only marry a Basque woman, and she wasn't Basque. But somehow she couldn't bring herself to have that conversation with him.

  Still she couldn't help feeling disappointed. She'd hoped Peio would have warmed by now, but instead, he was more detached than before, refusing to talk to her.

  Shortly after lunch Zak returned. When Peio saw his truck, he raced out of the cook shack to meet him. Zak caught him in a mid-air leap and the boy wrapped himself around his father. Tess stood in the doorway to the cook shack, watching. Zak looked past Peio at her and winked. "Thanks for stepping in for me. How did you two get on?"

  Tess walked to where Zak stood with Peio. "It was... fine," she said. "The men enjoyed having him."

  Zak looked at her as if to say, only the men? When Tess shrugged and offer nothing more, he said, "Is it something we need to talk about?"

  "No. Just a touch of reality. Peio misses his mother."

  Zak set Peio down and he scampered off to watch the men, who were leaving the cook shack. Turning to Tess, he said, "Tomorrow's the Taureau de Feu Festival in Navarre and I'll be taking Peio, which should help lift his spirits, and I want you to come with us."

  Tess shook her head. "Out of the question. Peio wouldn't want me along. He's been testing me for two days and I know it's because he thinks I'm a prospective mother. I came close to assuring him he had no worries along those lines."

  "Look, maybe I didn't explain things about Mirande and me very well the other day. Come with us tomorrow and it'll give me time to try and set things straight." Zak placed his hand on her shoulder and looked at her solemnly. "Please give me this day."

  As Tess peered into his soulful eyes, she couldn't bring herself to say No, I won't go with you because you married the first woman you met after leaving me... but said instead, "Okay, but don't expect Peio to be overjoyed when he finds out I'm coming."

  Zak smiled, a broad, incredibly appealing smile that had Tess's nerves humming, and her heart skipping, and her mind racing back to a time when that smile meant he loved her. Then he gave her shoulder a little squeeze, and said, "Thank you, honey. And don't worry about Peio. He'll be so caught up in the activities, neither of us will matter."

  Tess started to tell him not to jump to conclusions, just because she agreed to go with him, but he said he wanted to set things straight, and she wanted to hear what he had to say. She also liked the sound of the word, honey, coming from his lips again.

  She glanced around and saw that the men were preparing to leave for the Memorial Day weekend and wouldn't be back until Tuesday, when Ezzie would also be back. But she was still apprehensive about leaving the camp unattended, knowing someone was bent on shutting down the place. Catching her worried look, Zak said, "It's only for the day. We'll be back by tomorrow evening."

  Tess sighed. "I suppose I can leave this place for a day."

  Zak called Peio, and when he came over to see what his dad wanted, Zak said, "I have some surprises for both of you." He reached into the truck and brought out four boxes and handed two to Peio and two to Tess. Peio raised the lid of one box, and his eyes grew wide as he lifted a pair of new black boots from the box. "Go on," Zak said, "put them on."

  Peio flopped down on the ground, set the other box aside and yanked off his sneakers then pulled on each boot. Wiggling both feet, he looked up at Zak with bright eyes.

  Zak motioned to the other box. "Go ahead. See what's in that one."

  Peio opened the box. When he saw a homespun shirt, a pair of baggy blue trousers, and a small beret, his smile spread into a grin. Zak looked down at him and said, "You'll make a fine young shepherd at the festival."

  Zak lifted the beret from the box, while saying, "Just remember, a shepherd and his beret should never part. Wear it like this—" he made a hump with the crown of the beret and plopped it on Peio's head "—and rain won't run down your nose—" he trailed a finger down Peio's nose. Peio giggled. "And in the vineyards, it's handy for holding grapes—" he whisked the beret from Peio's head, scooped up some pine cones and dropped them into it, then flopped it on his own head. The pine cones bulged. Peio and Tess laughed.

  Zak shook out the cones and settled the beret on his own head and tipped it back. "If a shepherd wears it like this, he's happy. If worn low on the forehead like this—" he pulled the beret down and scowled "—he's angry." He tipped the hat to one side. "But, if he wears it like this—" he flattened the beret and staggered around, "—he's drunk!" Peio broke into childish laughter. Zak swooped the hat off his head and plopped it on Peio's, then turned to Tess, and said, "Take a look in your boxes."

  Tess lifted the lid. Resting on top was a black vest with long black laces for closing the front. Beneath, she found a white blouse with billowing sleeves, and under that a black apron and a red and black skirt. She looked at Zak, remembering how much she'd wanted just such an outfit when she was seventeen, and an excuse to wear it for him.

  Zak brushed her cheek with the pad of his finger, and said, "I've waited a long time for this."

  Tess felt a flush. "And what do I wear on my feet? Flip flops or work boots?"

  "Look in the other box."

  Tess lifted the lid and found a pair of soft leather shoes with long leather laces intended to crisscross up the legs over gray stockings, which were also in the box. She looked at the clothes and was filled with distant memories. For one day she'd be Basque and satisfy a curiosity that had haunted her for years. She looked up at Zak. "When do I assume my new role?"

  "When we get to Navarre. We'll leave around eight in the morning so we can get an early start." Zak nudged Peio toward the truck, but when Peio looked back at Tess, the smile of moments before faded, replaced by a gl
are. And Tess suspected that Peio thought she was trying to be the Basque woman his father was expected to marry, because even at Peio's young age, she was certain in the Alesander de Neuville household, children would learn early on that Basque married Basque. Period.

  ***

  Zak eased the truck to a halt in the middle of the road to Navarre then waited while a herd of long-haired sheep and a couple of sheepdogs crossed the highway and dashed up the embankment to the accompaniment of tinkling bells. A man brandishing a walking stick followed behind. Zak glanced down at Peio, who was sitting between him and Tess, and said, "Tell Tess in Basque what the man's holding."

  Peio glared at Zak, spat the word, "Makhilaks," to Tess, then pressed his mouth into a slash.

  Tess glanced at Zak, who clamped his jaws together and said nothing, but the look on his face said it all; insisting she come along was a big mistake. But it was too late to turn back.

  When they started up again, Tess stared at the road ahead, and before long she could see the town of Navarre emerging in the distance. Low clouds had settled over the valley, obscuring some of the town, but through the clouds rose a steeple. "Is the church still in use?" she asked.

  "Yes," Zak replied. "Most everyone in Navarre attends. It was built in the mid-1800s by the original families who founded the town, including my great-great grandfather."

  Tess had no idea Zak's family went back so far, which also made her realize how deep his family roots went down there.

  The road descended, and for a couple of miles they drove through heavy fog, then shortly before entering Navarre the fog lifted like a veil, revealing a town gleaming with moisture. They passed a sign reading WELCOME TO NAVARRE: POPULATION 4630, and within minutes they drove in front of the church they'd seen from the mountain.

  Already the town was a hum of activity. In front of a bakery, Zak pulled to the curb and tapped his horn. An old woman standing in the doorway looked up. Recognizing Zak, her face broke into a smile. She walked to the curb and peered through the window and started speaking to Zak in Basque. Then the woman nodded to Tess, said something to Peio that made him smile, and backed away, waving.