Girl Alone: Joss came home from school to discover her father’s suicide

by Cathy Glass

  He cleared his throat. ‘So what is the next step? How do we progress?’ he asked a little more amicably. ‘Linda can’t return home while Eric is there.’

  ‘No,’ I agreed. ‘One of us will need to contact the police or social services to tell them they’ve been found and where they are.’

  ‘Then what will happen?’

  ‘I’m not sure of the exact procedure,’ I said honestly, ‘but someone, probably a social worker, will visit you.’

  ‘And when they see that Kevin is fine they’ll get rid of that ridiculous court order and concentrate on finding the person responsible for all of this – and hopefully lock him up for a long time. I know what I’ll do if I find him first.’

  ‘The police are looking for Eric,’ I said, ‘but they thought he was with Linda and Kevin.’

  ‘He’s not, and never has been. He won’t come here if he knows what’s good for him. So we need to phone the social services or the police and tell them they’re here?’

  ‘Yes. As soon as possible.’

  ‘Perhaps you should do that as you’re used to dealing with them. Linda told me you have a lot of experience and know how to talk to the social worker. I might make things worse if I get angry with them.’

  ‘I can phone them,’ I said. ‘I’ll need your contact details.’

  ‘I’ll give them to you now.’

  I reached for the pen and paper by the phone. ‘Go ahead,’ I said, and I wrote down the address Andrew gave me. ‘I should phone them straight away.’

  ‘I understand, but before you do I’d like to speak to my granddaughter, if that is all right?’ he asked in a more conciliatory tone. ‘And I’m sure she’ll want to talk to her brother. Her mother is too upset to talk now.’

  ‘I’ll put Joss on,’ I said, and passed the handset to her.

  ‘Hello, Grandpa,’ she said in small voice. ‘I’ve missed you all very much. I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much trouble.’ And the tears that had been building in her eyes now escaped and ran down her cheeks.

  I passed her a tissue and she wiped her face as her grandpa spoke. I couldn’t hear all of what he said, but I caught the gist of it. He sensibly reassured her that it wasn’t her fault and that they all loved and missed her very much. He said Kevin and her mother were safe and well, and that she mustn’t worry about them, as everything would be sorted out soon and they would all be reunited. Joss nodded and managed a small smile. I just hoped he was right.

  When they’d finished Kevin came on the line and Joss’s tears fell again. She told him she missed him, loved him loads and blew kisses down the phone. ‘I forgive you for all the horrible things you’ve done to me,’ she said, smiling through her tears. ‘I even forgive you for putting those slugs in my shoes and salt in my orange juice.’

  Kevin must have said he was worried he would never see her again, for Joss said, ‘Don’t worry, Kev, you’ll see me soon. Grandpa is going to sort everything out. You be a brave boy and give teddy a kiss from me. We’ll all be together soon.’

  Blowing a final farewell kiss down the line, Joss passed the phone back to me. ‘Grandpa wants to speak to you,’ she said, wiping her eyes again.

  I put the phone to my ear. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Cathy, you can make that call now,’ Andrew said sombrely. ‘But please make sure they understand that Linda was only doing what she thought was best. She didn’t mean any harm. She loves her children more than anything. Tell them, Cathy.’

  ‘I will,’ I said.

  I felt as though I was betraying them as I pressed the number for Homefinders, but as bad as I felt, I had no choice other than to notify the authorities. For an agency carer it’s usual practice to contact the agency first, unless it’s an emergency, when the carer would obviously call the emergency services. The phone rang, and Joss stood. ‘I’m going upstairs to tell the others Mum and Kev have been found,’ she said.

  I nodded as the phone connected. Jill answered, on out-of-hours duty, which I was grateful for as it saved me from going over all the background with a colleague. ‘Linda and Kevin have been found,’ I said with utter relief. Then I told her what had happened – from Joss wanting to phone her grandparents, to the conversation I’d just had with her grandfather.

  Jill had been a social worker for a long time and not much surprised her any more. She listened in silence until I’d finished, when she said stoically, ‘Well, at least they’ve been found. I’m glad you explained to the grandpa that the social services will need to make sure Kevin is safe. It won’t happen overnight. They’ll run background checks first and assess them. I’ll phone the duty social worker now and they’ll notify the police. They may leave Kevin where he is for the night if he’s not in danger. Give me the grandparents’ contact details, please, and I’ll get things moving.’

  I read out their details.

  ‘I can’t imagine why they weren’t contacted by the police,’ Jill said as I finished. ‘Family is the first place they look for a missing person.’

  ‘I know, and I’m sure they were telling the truth when they said no one had contacted them. They both seemed genuinely shocked when I told them.’

  ‘I guess we’ll find out what went wrong in time,’ Jill said with a certain resignation. ‘I wonder what made Linda change her mind and believe Kevin and Joss rather than Eric.’

  ‘I don’t know. I didn’t speak to Linda. She was too upset.’

  ‘And Joss is OK?’ Jill asked.

  ‘Very relieved. She’s upstairs now telling Paula, Lucy and Adrian that her mum and brother have been found.’

  ‘I wonder where Eric is, if he’s not with them,’ Jill said.

  ‘No idea, but Andrew was adamant he wouldn’t go there.’

  ‘OK. I’ll pass all this on. The police will find him. Thankfully, he’s nowhere near Kevin or Joss. I’ll phone you this evening if there’s anything you need to know, and then a colleague will be on duty over the weekend. Call us if you need to, otherwise I’ll speak to you first thing on Monday. You should sleep easier now they’ve been found. I know I will.’

  ‘Most definitely,’ I agreed.

  There is a common expression that foster carers often have cause to use in their work when a situation is even stranger than fiction: ‘You couldn’t make this lot up.’ What happened next is a perfect example of that: it was so incredible that I struggled to believe what I was seeing.

  Having said goodbye to Jill, I went upstairs and headed to Lucy’s room, where Joss was still excitedly telling the girls about her mum and brother being at her grandparents’ house all along. Joss hadn’t told Adrian the good news yet, but given the level of her voice and the girls’ squeals of delight I thought he probably already knew. I’d just stepped into Lucy’s room when the doorbell rang. I went out again and downstairs to answer the door. I thought it was probably a charity collector, or a salesperson, or possibly my good neighbour Sue, who occasionally popped in on a Friday. It was just before seven o’clock, and although it was beginning to get dark outside it was still reasonably early and there was no reason for me to be extra-vigilant (as I’d had to be with some children I fostered), so I didn’t check the security spyhole first before opening the door.

  I immediately regretted my decision.

  Standing in the porch, unshaven and in a crumpled suit, was Eric.

  ‘Please don’t be alarmed,’ he said, seeing my shocked expression. ‘I know what you’ve been told, but it’s not true. I’ve come to explain.’

  ‘You don’t need to explain to me,’ I said sharply. ‘It’s the police and court you’ll be telling.’

  ‘But I don’t want you to think badly of me,’ he said pathetically. ‘If I could just take a moment of your time and explain.’

  ‘No,’ I said, and began to close the door.

  ‘Please,’ he said, putting his hand lightly on the door. ‘Just for a moment. You owe me that.’

  ‘I don’t owe you anything,’ I said bluntly. ‘I’m going to call the
police.’

  He glanced at the telephone on the hall table, which could be seen from the door. ‘But you don’t understand, Cathy,’ he said imploringly. ‘If I could come in for a few minutes and explain, you’d understand then.’ It was said so rationally and reasonably you could almost believe him, if you hadn’t heard his stepdaughter describe what he’d done to her.

  ‘No. You can go to the police station and tell them,’ I said. ‘The police are looking for you.’

  ‘I know, they came to the house. I had to hide until they’d gone.’

  I began to close the door again.

  ‘No, listen, please,’ he said. ‘Just for a moment. I love those children – I would never harm them. I just didn’t know how to treat them. I’ve never had children of my own. I can see now that they may have misinterpreted some of my actions, but I never meant them any harm, honestly.’

  ‘Tell the judge,’ I said, and closed the door.

  My heart was pounding, my legs were trembling and I felt physically sick. I sat heavily on the chair by the phone table, picked up the handset and dialled 999. The operator asked which emergency service I wanted and I replied, ‘The police.’ I was put through immediately and the woman officer asked for my name and address, and then what the emergency was. I said that a man called Eric – who was registered missing and was being sought in connection with a child-abuse enquiry – had just come to my house. I was asked to hold as she logged the details into her computer.

  ‘Are you the foster carer?’ she asked a moment later.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Is Eric still outside?’

  ‘I don’t know. Do you want me to look?’

  ‘Only if you can see without going out.’

  ‘I’ll use the security spyhole,’ I said, standing.

  With the phone in my hand I took the step to the front door and looked through the spyhole. The porch was empty.

  ‘He appears to have gone, unless he’s hiding out of sight,’ I said.

  ‘OK. Don’t go outside. Lock your doors and I’ll send the nearest available police car.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  The doors were already locked. I replaced the handset and looked again through the spyhole, but the porch was still empty. I felt cold and scared; not because of the harm he could do me – he was physically quite small and pathetic, rather than aggressive – but because of his sickening lies and the way he’d tried to justify what he’d done by blaming the children and saying they had misinterpreted his actions. So plausible and sincere it was chilling. But then abusers are good liars, having had plenty of practice covering up their evil ways. Did I believe him? Not for one moment.

  The girls were still upstairs talking in Lucy’s room, and I hoped they hadn’t heard. I wanted to keep Joss out of this, if possible. It would be upsetting for her if she knew he’d come to the door. I went into the front room and, leaving the light off so I couldn’t be seen, I stood behind the window and looked out for the arrival of the police. The night was clear and still. Fifteen minutes later a police car pulled up outside the house. I could make out two officers in the front, and someone sitting in the rear. The officer in the passenger seat opened his door and got out. I reached the front door before he’d rung the bell.

  ‘Mrs Glass?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Just to let you know we have Eric – in the car. We picked him up at the end of your road, so there’s no need for you to worry further.’

  ‘Thank you,’ I said.

  ‘You’re welcome. Thank you for your prompt action. We’ve been looking for him for a while.’

  I hesitated – I didn’t want to get anyone into trouble, but then I thought it would probably come out anyway. ‘He told me he’d been hiding at his house all along.’

  ‘I’ll pass it on,’ the officer said. ‘Thanks again, and goodnight.’

  ‘Goodnight.’

  I went upstairs and into Lucy’s room, where I told Joss that Eric had been found and was in police custody.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  And She Wept

  Once I’d recovered from the shock of finding Eric on my doorstep, I telephoned Jill.

  ‘Incredible. The gall of the man, turning up like that!’ she said, as astounded as I was. ‘Had he been at home the whole time?’

  ‘I think so. Should I phone the grandparents and tell them he’s been found?’ I asked.

  ‘No. Leave it to the social services. I’ll phone the duty social worker now,’ Jill said. ‘Once Eric has been questioned, he’s likely to be released, pending further enquiries and the court case. In law he’s innocent until proven guilty, but obviously if he comes to your house again, call the police straight away. Just seeing him could be very intimidating for Joss.’

  ‘I understand,’ I said. ‘I think we might have a day out tomorrow and give everyone a change of scenery after everything that’s happened this week.’

  ‘Good idea. It could be some time before the cases against Eric and Zach go to court, so it’s best for Joss if she continues her life as normally as possible.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said. Although easier said than done, I thought.

  I returned upstairs and told the girls that if everyone had completed most of their homework by the end of the evening, I was thinking we could go out for the day on Saturday. They were delighted and I asked them to think about where they’d like to go. I then went into Adrian’s room and asked him what he thought, and he agreed it was a good idea. Ten minutes later they came down and said they’d made a unanimous decision that they’d like to go to the seaside for the day. I was slightly surprised, as it was out of the holiday season.

  ‘OK, but I doubt it will be warm enough to swim in the sea.’

  ‘I’ll take my shorts anyway,’ Adrian said.

  ‘We can paddle if it’s too cold,’ Paula suggested.

  ‘And make sandcastles,’ Lucy said.

  ‘And have fish and chips like we did when we went in the summer holidays, and just chill out right away from everything,’ Joss added.

  ‘Sounds good to me,’ I said.

  So, with most of their homework done, the following morning we were up earlier than usual for a Saturday. We packed the buckets and spades I kept for when I fostered younger children in the boot of the car, together with our quilted jackets (it can be windy on the coast in September), and set off. It was a bright, clear day and the traffic was light, so we were on the motorway by 8 a.m. Everyone was in good spirits as we left the enormity of all that had happened during the week behind us. The radio was on and the girls began singing along to pop songs while Adrian listened to his music on his earphones. We made one stop for the toilet and a drink just over halfway and were walking barefoot on the beach by 11.30 a.m.

  As I breathed in the fresh, blustery air, which really did blow the cobwebs away, I gazed out to the horizon, tantalizingly close yet unattainably far away. I find that looking into the distance, like gazing up at the stars, helps put problems and anxieties into perspective, and yet I was still worried. While I didn’t for one moment doubt Joss’s claim that Eric had been abusing her, I’d become unsettled by the plausibility of his excuse: that not having had any previous experience of children, he had mismanaged his care of Joss and Kevin and had never intended them any harm. Added to this was his previous assertion that Joss, having resented him from the start, was lying and had persuaded Kevin to lie too. If there was no DNA evidence – unlikely after the amount of time that had elapsed – it would just be his word against theirs. I knew that many cases of child abuse never reached court simply because there wasn’t enough evidence to stand a reasonable chance of securing a prosecution, which left the victims without closure and finding it very difficult to move on with their lives. Since Eric’s visit, it had been playing on my mind.

  I was jolted from my thoughts by the girls’ squeals of ‘It’s too cold, Adrian! You must be mad!’ I looked over to where Adrian stood on the beach in his swimming shorts, sur
veying the water, ready for a swim. Although there were others walking along the beach, there was only one other person brave enough to swim, a little further along. ‘One, two, three,’ Adrian counted, psyching himself up. He ran down to the shoreline and into the water, splashing the girls as he went and causing more squeals of laughter. We all cheered as he dived in and a man walking by with his partner called out, ‘Well done, that man!’

  Adrian didn’t stay in the water for long – it was very cold – but when he came out he was invigorated rather than shivering. We all turned our backs while he dried himself and dressed, and then we were ready for lunch. Brushing the sand from our feet, we slipped on our socks and trainers and crossed the road to a café overlooking the beach, where we ate a hearty all-day breakfast and drank hot chocolate. Once we’d finished, we decided to walk along the coastal path to the historic site of an old fort we’d been to years before. It was about half an hour away and there were others walking the path too. When we arrived we perched on the boulders, the last vestiges of the fort, and with seagulls circling overhead we gazed around. We could see a long way, including round the headland and partly into the next bay. The sea breeze and unadulterated view were refreshing and cathartic. We could have been in another country it was so different from where we lived.

  Once we’d had our fill of the view, we continued along the coastal path a little further, and then turned and took a different path back, ending up at a tea house where we ate toasted sandwiches and a cream tea before setting off home. As often happens with a full day out, we felt we’d been away for much longer than a day. Clearly Toscha thought so too, as she wanted lots of strokes and attention before settling into her basket for the night.

  It was only when I climbed into bed that night that I realized not only had Joss’s behaviour improved dramatically since she’d disclosed the abuse from Eric, but she’d also stopped having nightmares. She hadn’t had a single one since, whereas before it had been nearly every night. I’d seen this before in children I’d fostered who’d suffered from night terrors before they could tell what was worrying them. The mind is very clever and a little like a pressure-cooker, so that if the pressure builds up to an unsafe level it will release it in any way it can, including challenging behaviour and nightmares, in order for the child to function. Joss had been doing this, but whereas I’d thought it was solely due to her father’s suicide and her mother remarrying, it was more because of the abuse she’d suffered, and then not being believed when she’d told her mother. Now her disclosures were out in the open and being acted on, she could sleep easier.