Forbidden: A Ward Sisters Sisters Novel

by Sorensen , Karla

  Gavin was only a couple of years younger than I was, one of our college students working toward a kinesiology degree. Once he had that piece of paper, and whatever else he decided to add to his education, he’d be far more qualified for this job than I was. But moments like this made me even more thankful Amy had taken a chance on me.

  Now I just needed the big, angry guy out in the main area to figure out his issues so I didn’t have to worry about my place.

  Or my heart.

  Standing a few inches taller than my five-foot-ten, Gavin studied my forehead after sending the text. “You’re gonna have a badass scar.”

  I smiled. “Totally my intention.”

  It was at the moment I was smiling up at him that a very large body stepped into the doorway of my office.

  “A minute of your time, Ward,” he all but growled.

  Ahh. We were back to Ward.

  I’d never had the sound of my last name spark such immediate and hot rage. My bones practically melted from the force of it.

  Gavin’s eyebrows lifted briefly. “You okay if I go?” he asked quietly.

  Aiden’s countenance darkened even further.

  I gave Gavin a subdued smile. “Yes, thank you.”

  He nodded deferentially to Aiden as he left my office. I crossed my arms as Aiden closed the office door behind him.

  It took him a second to say anything once we were blocked from prying eyes.

  Oddly enough, it was the first time I felt no butterflies, no flutters, no walking-a-tight rope feel in the fact that he and I were alone.

  No, I was too frustrated with him for that. So even when he walked closer and tilted his head to look at my bandage, I didn’t move, didn’t smile, didn’t break the silence.

  “Why are you here?” he asked.

  “Fixing the schedule you messed up.”

  “I didn’t …“ He took in a deep breath. “Okay, I probably did.”

  My eyebrows lifted. “And making sure you didn’t do the same thing to payroll. If you plan to keep your employees, you kinda need to pay them.”

  “They’d forgive me,” he answered simply.

  I exhaled a laugh. “Well, at least you’re feeling more confident in your role.”

  “Because of you,” he explained. “They’d forgive me because of you.” At my silence, he took a step closer. “But none of that matters because you should not be here. You’re supposed to be off work for at least four days.”

  “I’m done resting, but I appreciate your concern.” I hooked a thumb at my desk. “Is that all? I’d like to get back to work.”

  My tone remained calm and even, but my heart started to race at his nearness. An unconscious reaction that I had no control over. Born from the frustration of that, I turned my back to Aiden and walked to the storage cabinet in the corner. I wasn’t even sure what I was looking for; I just needed space. I needed distance between his body and mine, and my desk didn’t provide enough of that.

  Aiden’s response took a long moment to come, but when it did, it stopped me in my tracks. “You’re mad at me.”

  In the middle of pulling a stack of shirts out of the cabinet, my hands froze.

  “Is that it? You’re mad about the other night.”

  Not in a million years did I expect him to push this. Push what had happened—or not happened—in his bedroom. Slowly, I slid the shirts back into place and closed the cabinet.

  When I turned, his face was impossible to read. I’d need a chisel and crowbar to get this man’s thoughts out of his head clearly. Leave it to me to find someone like this to finally light me up inside. Someone guarded and cagey. Someone who couldn’t—or wouldn’t—make things easy.

  It was … poetic justice at its finest. I deserved someone like Aiden because this was how everyone, in my entire life, had always felt about me.

  And it was the only reason I started laughing. Once I started, I couldn’t stop.

  Aiden looked at me like I’d lost my fucking mind because I kinda felt like I had.

  He clenched his jaw, crossing his arms over his chest, but he didn’t say a word as I tried to get a hold of myself. Eventually, I did, and as I wiped away tears underneath my eyes, he shook his head.

  “You done?”

  “The hell if I know,” I said around a few stray giggles. I never giggled. But this—him and me—it was too much. And if I didn’t laugh about it, I’d probably cry. Finally, I took a deep breath. “You are … impossible, Aiden Hennessy.”

  His face went blank with shock. “Me?”

  “I’ve always been that person,” I told him. “The impossible one. Always. And now I understand what it must have been like for the people waiting for me.”

  Aiden’s brow furrowed, his chest worked steadily as his breathing increased.

  “I wish you’d trust me enough to tell me why this is so hard.” I searched his face. “I want to know. But I won’t keep putting myself in this position, where we almost do, we both want to, and then you pull back. I won’t do it anymore.”

  Aiden

  * * *

  She was right.

  And she was wrong.

  I knew a whole lot standing in that office with her.

  I wanted to grip the back of her neck and take her mouth, not gently, not sweetly.

  I wanted to see what I’d find if I peeled her tiny shorts off her long, long legs.

  And beyond all that, I wanted to wrap her in my arms because I knew why she was frustrated. Knew what I was doing to cause it.

  But I didn’t know how to stop. How to explain.

  Never in my entire life had I felt this sort of barely leashed energy, and Isabel had no idea how close she was to shoving open the flood gates holding back the snarling beast inside me.

  I didn’t like that she was frustrated with me.

  I didn’t like that I’d walked away from her in my bedroom.

  I didn’t like that we forever seemed to walk this tightrope of soft, stolen touches or immediate combustion.

  At my continued silence, she made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat.

  “I’m sorry,” I ground out. I unfolded my arms and set my hands on my hips. It was the only way to keep from grabbing her, tugging her to me like I wanted. “I’m sorry for the other night. I shouldn’t have …”

  But my words stopped there. Because I couldn’t make myself apologize for touching her.

  I couldn’t make myself apologize for one moment where I felt the press of her body against mine. Imagined pushing her back onto my bed and finding slick, sweet comfort with her legs around mine. I’d thought of it a dozen times since she walked out of my house, each time, finding empty release with the shower pulsing hot over me, the bed empty next to me.

  “You shouldn’t have what?” she whispered. Isabel didn’t back down an inch. “Even now, you can’t say it.”

  My eyes held hers because of course she knew what I wasn’t willing to say.

  I held myself still because this precipice was dangerous, and it wasn’t the place for us to fall over it. There was no way for me, not now, to explain how selfish it would be for me to go down this path with her.

  How unprepared I was for someone like her.

  Her blue eyes changed as I stood there silently, from anger-tinged desire to resignation, and it made me want to rage.

  “Isabel,” I said, shifting closer to her, my hands lifting toward her.

  “No,” she said firmly. Her hand came up, stopping just shy of my chest. I think she knew—we both knew—that if we touched right now, any good intentions would vanish. Not just vanish, they’d explode. “Don’t call me by my first name, don’t act like you’re going touch me right now, unless you know exactly what that means for you.”

  I backed up, hands dropping back by my side.

  Her chin quivered dangerously, but she sucked in a sharp breath. Watching her ability to get control of her emotions was incredible.

  “I’m done being awed by you, Aiden Henness
y. I’m done acting like I don’t want you because I do.”

  If a man could remain standing while feeling humbled to his core, without falling to his knees, then I’d just managed it. She was staggering in her strength, and I had my first flash of unease that I was fucking up something big … something that might not happen to me again.

  “And I think the part that makes me so mad,” she continued, “is that I know you want me too.”

  I had to look away. I had to get myself under control. Remember why she was so wrong for me.

  But even if she was, Isabel was right about this, and I respected her too much to lie to her.

  My voice hardly worked when I spoke. It sounded rusty and rough, but the words came out clearly all the same. “You have no idea how difficult this is for me.”

  “Then tell me,” she begged, stepping closer. “Tell me.”

  I swiped a hand over my mouth.

  If I pinched my eyes closed, I could hear Beth talking to Anya. I could hear the words she said. Isabel represented every selfish desire I could’ve conjured for myself. So that was what I did. I tried to tug that memory front and center because it felt like the only way to make sense of this mess.

  “I just need you to be patient with me,” I told her, voice taking on a harsh, frustrated edge.

  “I am being patient.” Isabel swallowed. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to keep letting myself get whiplash until you decide this is okay. I’ve had a lot of things happen in my life that I had no choice but to push through.” Her voice was unsteady, but her eyes were clear. “But this, I can choose. Until you’re ready to do the same.”

  My feelings for Isabel were too big. At that moment, the worst thing I could’ve done was tell her that.

  That she was too much.

  Too young.

  Too beautiful.

  Too guarded. I wanted nothing more than to break down her walls and let her do the same to me.

  That together, we were too intense, in a time of my life when all I’d been seeking was peace.

  The last thing I’d ever do was make her feel that way. And I didn’t trust myself to speak.

  Isabel swallowed roughly, her eyes suddenly bright. “Please let me get back to work.”

  She turned away, the long sweep of her dark hair making a hushed sound in the quiet of the office, and as she sat at the desk again, I saw her hands trembling.

  It was the tremble that had me walking away as she asked.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Isabel

  One thing I couldn’t hold against Aiden was how well he listened.

  Like I’d asked, he stayed away.

  Like I’d asked, he let me get back to work.

  Even though I wasn’t teaching, I did just about everything else simply to stay busy. If I slowed, I would scream, just to have an outlet for my frustration. Not that he could’ve known the type of restless energy this distance caused in me.

  Because the worst feeling in the world was falling in love with someone who wasn’t capable of returning that love in the way you needed. As I made the finishing touches on setting up for the self-defense class on my last day of work before Molly’s wedding, I kept thinking about Brooke.

  I thought of the look I’d seen on her face the night before she left.

  There was a resolve there that still made my stomach curl up unpleasantly when I thought of it. The love of Logan and Paige couldn’t erase it entirely, though it helped as much as anything could.

  Telling Aiden how I felt about him was the closest I could come to baring myself to him completely. Standing naked in front of him would feel less vulnerable than this silence did. Because I had no guarantees that he’d ever love me like I wanted him to. Like I knew he was capable.

  I’d never had the chance to beg Brooke to stay. So many years later, I knew I wouldn’t, even given the chance. But it still triggered the same uncomfortable edginess as if I had.

  Which was why I threw myself into the work I could do.

  I sat at the front desk, the gym's pleasant sounds behind me filtering into my thoughts as I readied everything for the class. The front door opened, and Casey walked in, followed by three other girls.

  “Morning,” I told her. “You ready to beat people up?”

  They laughed.

  “Okay, we won’t be beating anyone up, but go ahead and partner up. I marked out spots in the main open area. There should be two of you in each section.”

  Casey gave me a once-over. “What happened to you?”

  I touched the bandage, which was soon to be removed, using the hand still in an ugly black brace. “I had a mishap with a tree branch that decided not to hold me any longer.”

  “Ouch.” She winced. “You won’t be teaching today then?”

  “I’ll be on the mic walking everyone through the moves, but I’ll have some help from our trainers.”

  Kelly, Gavin, and Grady were already warming up, along with a couple of others, and I had a feeling Aiden would be helping too, even though he’d yet to come out of his office.

  Casey went to join her friends, and I stayed busy, greeting the girls who came through the front door with their smiles and nervous energy. By the time everyone on the list had arrived, we had a full gym, and the vibe was different than a typical class, that I found myself feeling a little nervous.

  Aiden stood in the doorway of his office, watching the energetic buzz in the room with a slight smile on his face. But when his eyes met mine, his smile fell. His gaze sharpened, and even with the distance between us, the intensity of it was like a knife blade. Completely lethal if you pressed on it hard enough.

  So I looked down and finished hooking the mic up.

  “All right, everyone. Welcome to Hennessy’s Gym, for what is hopefully the first of many classes like this.” The girls clapped excitedly. I motioned for Gavin and Kelly to join me in front of them. “These are my helpers. They’ll be demonstrating all the basic self-defense moves we want to teach you today, and I’ll be walking around helping you guys while you practice. So will Grady and Aiden.” I made eye contact with everyone. “If you only want me or Kelly to help you, please just raise your hand at any point if you’re struggling, and we’ll be right over.”

  I held up my wrist. “Unfortunately, I won’t be kicking anyone’s ass today because I got in a fight with a tree and lost, but trust me … we’ll be able to inflict some damage together, okay?”

  The small ripple of laughter eased some of the excited tension.

  Over the next hour, I found my new favorite part of my job. By the time we finished, there was yelling and cheering and more than one male trainer hitting the mat with a thud.

  I laughed when Casey managed to push Gavin to his knee. “You guys are savage, I love it.”

  Some of them stayed afterward to keep practicing, and it was then I noticed Anya sitting on the edge of the center boxing ring. She waved at me, toothless grin bringing a smile onto my face.

  I walked over to her. “When did you get here?”

  She kicked her legs back and forth. “About halfway through. My uncle Clark dropped me off. He said I should learn how to beat the boys up for when I get older.”

  I laughed. “Well, we only use stuff like this if someone is trying to hurt us or one of our friends.”

  Anya’s face pinched up thoughtfully. “Have you ever had to do that to someone?”

  “Nope. And I’m very thankful for that.”

  Her eyebrows were still lowered.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  “Are you … gentle?”

  My head tilted. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

  Anya’s big blue eyes searched mine, and again, I got the feeling she was trying to figure out something that was much more serious than I could guess. “Do you sing lullabies even though you aren’t a good singer?”

  I blew out a breath, glancing over my shoulder to see if Aiden was anywhere in earshot, which he wasn’t. “Not really,” I admit
ted.

  Anya nodded, still deep in thought.

  “Why do you ask?” I asked gently.

  Oh, her eyes when she looked up at me, I had the strangest sensation that she was about to rip my heart from my chest, and when she spoke, I wasn’t wrong.

  “You’re different than I thought you’d be.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  “My mommy told me she’d be sweet and gentle, and bake me cookies and sing me lullabies when I couldn’t sleep, but you’re different.”

  My heart skipped erratically as she spoke, and I wasn’t sure which impulse was stronger—to cover my ears at what she said, or wrap her in my arms and let her know that love came in so many different forms.

  At my back, Aiden approached without sound. But I felt him all the same.

  “Anya,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you go play in my office.”

  She smiled up at me, then hopped off the edge of the ring, scampering off to his office.

  I covered my mouth, my eyelids falling shut.

  “Isabel …” he started.

  I turned, and his voice faded at whatever he meant to say next.

  “I cannot even imagine how hard it must be to think about moving on,” I said quietly. “I’ve never …” I paused. “I’ve never been married or engaged. Never found someone who made me want any of that until now,” I admitted. His eyes blazed. I forced the words out, and each one felt like glass in my throat. “Losing that”—I pressed a hand over my heart—“it must have been hell on earth.”

  His eyes darted away from mine, his jaw tight.

  A group of girls said goodbye, and I waved. Aiden rubbed at the back of his neck, but when he lifted his head, I saw the truth buried in his guilty expression.

  “And I’d never, ever expect you to leave the memory of your wife, and what she meant to you, behind. But I can’t compete with the wishes of a ghost, Aiden.” My eyes burned with unshed tears. “I won’t.”

  “I didn’t … “ He paused, face bent in a grimace.

  I rolled my lips between my teeth and begged him silently to give me something. Anything.

  When he met my gaze again, his was untamed, unguarded.