Something Like Thunder

by Jay Bell

  Kelly hit the ground, tumbling across the track and rolling to a stop. Nathaniel rushed over to help. Kelly flopped over onto his back, giggling like a child.

  “You all right?” Nathaniel asked.

  “I think I skinned my knee.” Kelly pointed at the prosthetic leg.

  Nathaniel shook his head and offered him a hand. Once standing, Kelly gazed out across the track and beamed in satisfaction.

  “Keep grinning like that and people will think you’ve gone insane,” Nathaniel teased.

  “I don’t care. That felt too damn good. Ready for more? I’ll race you!”

  “Only if you promise to slow down.” Nathaniel was still trying to catch his breath.

  “That was nothing. Just wait until I get my running blade. Then you’ll really see fast.”

  “I’d rather see fast food.” Nathaniel checked his watch. Breakfast seemed like ages ago. “It’s past lunchtime.”

  “Save your appetite,” Kelly said, leading them back toward the tripod and camera. “The party will have plenty of food.”

  “Isn’t that tonight?”

  “No, in just a few hours.” The camera snapped one last automatic photo as Kelly reached for it and began disassembling the setup.

  “Kind of early for a party,” Nathaniel said.

  “It’s a birthday.”

  “For who? A little kid?”

  Kelly jabbed the folded tripod at him so he would take it. “Geez, chill out, Mr. Nightlife! Things happen during the day too, you know. And for the record, it’s Layne’s birthday. He’s a friend of mine from the youth group.”

  “Youth group. As in teenagers.”

  “Yes. Tons and tons of teenagers who are eager to meet you for the first time. Prepare yourself. You’ll probably have to give everyone piggyback rides.”

  “Sounds like a real cool party,” Nathaniel grumbled. “Super neato.”

  “Don’t be a snob.” Kelly turned to walk toward the car. “With all the travelling we’ve been doing, I haven’t seen most of these people for ages. The youth group is important to me. They were there when I first came out and also after the accident. When William and I split up too. They’re like a second family, one I’ve dated quite a few members of. Ha ha.”

  “You’re not exactly winning me over.”

  Kelly ignored him. “They’re awesome people. I’m already dreading being too old to attend meetings. Hey, speaking of old, I need you to buy some booze. As a present.”

  That was an unwelcome flashback. Kelly usually didn’t ask him for such things. He enjoyed a drink now and again, but was content to let Nathaniel surprise him. Of course working for Marcello meant a glass of champagne was never far away.

  “So this guy,” Nathaniel said. “This birthday boy. Did you and he ever…”

  “His name is Layne, and no.” Kelly bumped their shoulders together playfully. “Don’t tell me you’re feeling jealous.”

  “A complete stranger hit on you yesterday.”

  “She wasn’t my type. Very flattering though.”

  “All I’m asking is that you wear a bag over your head when in public.”

  Kelly smiled at the compliment. “Just stay close to me. You tend to scare away most Romeos.”

  “Deal.”

  They loaded the car with camera equipment and an ill-behaved dog. Once home again, they took a shower together. Kelly’s new leg wasn’t water-proof, meaning it couldn’t join them, but he spent most of the shower in Nathaniel’s arms. Once the water was turned off, Nathaniel suggested they crawl into bed to enjoy the afterglow, but Kelly went to the closet and started pulling out clothes. After they dressed and left the house, they made a quick stop to buy a bottle of booze and another to get wrapping paper, then drove to a suburban house set against untouched woods. The house’s backyard was currently filled with a gift-covered table, a huge cake, and most ridiculous of all, an inflatable castle. Teenagers were bouncing around inside this like popcorn, making it rock back and forth.

  “How old did you say this guy was?” Nathaniel murmured. “Please don’t tell me I bought vodka for an eight-year-old.”

  “Welcome, welcome!” a voice said in greeting. Layne, most likely, since he was playing host. The guy was thin, his blond hair carefully blow-dried and styled, his body motions slightly exaggerated, like he thought he was on stage and needed to communicate to a broader audience. That might explain his makeup—powder, base, and just a little eyeliner—which was laughable, because he was much too adorable to need such things. “How kind of you to be here on my special day. My very special day.”

  “Eighteen is quite the milestone,” Kelly said, stressing the age as if to reassure Nathaniel.

  Layne gave the sort of nod that said I hear you talking but I’m not interested. Instead his eyes were all over Nathaniel. He obviously liked what he saw because his smile grew wider and he stepped forward for a hug. Nathaniel raised his arms above his head to protect the camera and the wrapped present he was holding. Layne grabbed his torso anyway and squeezed. “It’s so nice to meet you at last! We’ve heard so many wonderful things, some of them about you. What’s your name again? Oh, it doesn’t matter. You’re so warm!”

  “Okay,” Kelly said, trying to peel Layne off him. “Let go. Seriously.”

  “Fine.” Layne released Nathaniel. Then he opened his arms to Kelly and gasped. “Oh. My. God!”

  Kelly hopped from foot to foot. “No more crutches!”

  Layne covered his mouth in awe. Then he took Kelly by the arm and guided him toward the party. “Everyone, look who’s standing on his own two feet!”

  Nathaniel eyed the crowd and felt asocial for not having so many friends. Not even a fraction. Outside his professional life, he only had Kelly and a dog. Sort of sad when he thought about it, but he was happy. Kelly gave an impromptu speech, and the reaction he got showed that he was close to these people. Maybe he didn’t see them often, but they were all comfortable around each other.

  “I think it’s fabulous,” Layne said, looping arms with Kelly. He took hold of Nathaniel too and walked with them across the yard. “Speaking of which, did you bring my present?”

  “You mean the bottle you’re still three years too young to drink from?” Nathaniel shook the present they had gift-wrapped to disguise its form. A good thing too, considering Layne’s parents had answered the door.

  “That’s the one!” Layne released them so he could take it. “This should liven things up!”

  Kelly nodded toward the inflatable castle. “You might want to think twice about getting people drunk and shoving them in your ball pit.”

  “It’s not a ball pit,” Layne said patiently. “It’s a bounce house, and it happens to be my most ingenious plan yet. Just imagine me and a handsome boy jumping around in that thing, bumping into each other and getting all handsy until he falls on top of me and… Well, paint your own picture.”

  Kelly chuckled in appreciation. “So who’s the lucky guy?”

  Layne nodded to one corner of the yard where three guys stood. Nathaniel looked without much interest. One was tall and pale, his hair crimson. The other two looked like brothers, their skin and hair dark. One wore a tank top, his rounded shoulders glowing bronze in the sunlight.

  “Which one are you after?” Kelly asked.

  “Any of them will do,” Layne said with a wistful sigh. “Or all of them. I’m hedging my bets. I figure I’m tripling my odds by inviting all three here.”

  “Are they from the youth group?” Kelly asked.

  “Imported. God bless the Internet!”

  “Hungry,” Nathaniel muttered, interrupting their gossip session.

  “If you’ll excuse me,” Kelly said, patting his arm, “I have to go feed my man-beast.”

  Layne smiled at him longingly. “Have fun, you lucky bastard.”

  Nathaniel was led to the buffet, which offered everything he needed: food to satiate his bodily hunger, a focus so he wouldn’t have to mingle, and an excuse to keep
his mouth full so he couldn’t respond to small talk. Kelly was already making the rounds, Nathaniel happy to remain alone and eat. His plan backfired somewhat when Layne’s mother lit the candles on the cake, attracting more people to the buffet. The rest were called over by Layne, who made them watch and wait while he struggled to find the ultimate birthday wish. While this decision was being made, Kelly returned to his side.

  “Did it work?” Layne asked once he blew out the candles. “Are you all madly in love with me?”

  “Yes,” the crowd moaned.

  Layne appeared delighted until he spotted something in the distance. “My beautiful palace!” he cried. “It’s shrinking!”

  Kelly turned and snorted. Nathaniel followed his gaze. The multi-colored inflatable castle was drooping around the edges, one of the parapets already limp and lifeless.

  “This is worse than the Hindenburg disaster!” Layne declared. “Oh, the humanity!”

  “The air pump motor is still running,” Nathaniel said to Kelly. “The connection probably came loose.”

  “Think you can fix it?”

  He took one look at those hopeful, pleading eyes and puffed up his chest. “I’ll try.”

  “Best boyfriend ever!”

  Nathaniel sauntered over to the castle. Layne was trying to lift the parapet, as if that would help. Nathaniel went instead to the motor, crouching down beside it and trying to make sense of all the tubes.

  “What have we got here?” a female voice asked.

  Nathaniel glanced up. Bonnie. Kelly’s best friend. They had only met a few times, but Nathaniel liked her. He thought of her as a plucky lesbian, but if he ever told her that, she’d probably get him in a headlock and make him apologize. She was a fraction of his size, but her spunky style and feisty personality more than compensated for her stature.

  “You know anything about air pumps?” he asked.

  “Yep.” Bonnie hoisted up her belt like it was heavy with tools and squatted next to him. In a quieter voice she added, “Not a clue. I just wanted to avoid being drafted into food service.”

  Nathaniel glanced back to Kelly, who was dishing out cake, talking to each person as he handed them slices. “You guys are lucky,” he said, returning his attention to Bonnie and the air pump. “I should have found myself a youth group when I was a teenager. When I first came out, everything that followed was anticlimactic. My parents didn’t care, so no drama. I didn’t know any other gay people, so no action of any sort. Basically I told the world I was gay, and it replied with a half-hearted shrug.”

  “Could be worse,” Bonnie replied. “My mom created a profile for me on an online dating site, trying to get me hooked up with the right sort of guy. She figured I was confused and just needed a feminine boy, or maybe she was trying to confuse me. Either way, it was extremely misguided.”

  “I’m sure nothing came of it,” Nathaniel said, checking various connections.

  “Oh, I totally went for it. My mom offered to double my allowance, and I’ve always been a sucker for bribes. I actually found out about the gay youth group from one of my dates. He wasn’t gay, despite being feminine, but his brother was queer enough for them both. Butch as hell too. Funny how the world works sometimes.”

  Nathaniel laughed. Then he noticed the problem, reattached a tube that had come loose and tightened the metal clamp around it. Brushing off his hands, he stood at the same time Bonnie did. “You should hang out with us more often,” he said. “I know I’ve been hogging Kelly, but you’re welcome at my place any time. I don’t want to keep you guys apart.”

  Bonnie smiled. “Don’t feel guilty. It’s not your fault Kelly is busy being famous.” She looked over at her friend. “These days he seems to find fans wherever he goes.”

  “No kidding.” Nathaniel followed her gaze. “Did he tell you about the woman at the…” He trailed off, puzzled by what he saw. One of the guys Layne was hoping to seduce was standing in front of Kelly, lifting up his sleeveless shirt to reveal his torso. Even from here Nathaniel could see he was toned. Kelly was clearly taken aback, but kept talking to the guy even once his bare skin was covered again.

  “Nothing to Hulk out over,” Bonnie said. “You know you can trust Kelly.”

  When she placed a hand on his arm, Nathaniel was surprised to notice how tense he was. In the distance, Kelly turned away, giving his full attention to cutting cake. This didn’t seem to discourage the other guy, who leaned in closer and continued to speak, teeth flashing when Kelly eventually looked over at him again.

  “Who is that?” Nathaniel grumbled.

  “Rico,” Bonnie said. “I don’t really know him. He’s from out of town. We can go over there. Introduce ourselves. I’m sure once he sees you he’ll get the hint.”

  “Good idea.”

  Nathaniel walked toward them, watching as Rico continued talking to Kelly, who appeared slightly confused. Then Kelly wiped at a cheek self-consciously, Rico shaking his head and reaching out, as if to help. For one brief moment, Nathaniel was no longer in the middle of a teenager’s birthday party. Instead he was in the parking lot of a Tex-Mex restaurant in Connecticut, Caesar reaching forward to wipe Rebecca’s chin. Nathaniel had mentally replayed that scene countless times, agonizing over the kiss that had ruined two relationships at once. Now history was repeating itself, except Rico was no friend, that hand of his hooking behind Kelly’s head. Their lips met, a growl escaping Nathaniel as he charged forward. He saw his boyfriend’s eyes go wide in shock, his body stiffening before he tried to pull away to end the kiss. Nathaniel could definitely help with that. He reached them and used both arms to grab Rico around the torso, lifting him off the ground and flinging him to one side, sparing the table and cake. A shame, because Nathaniel would have loved seeing him roll through the food like the pig he was. Still, throwing him on the grass would make beating the living hell out of him a lot cleaner. At least until Nathaniel drew blood.

  Rico rolled onto his back. Nathaniel pounced on him with his full weight, forcing breath to wheeze out of his lungs. Rico wouldn’t need to breathe for much longer anyway, because Nathaniel was pretty damn sure he was going to kill the little shit. He pulled back a fist to punch, but someone grabbed his arm, slowing him enough that Rico was able to dodge. Nathaniel glanced over to find Kelly pulling on him, his expression pleading. Rico said something in Spanish and lashed out, popping Nathaniel on the chin. His jaw rattled painfully. Now Kelly’s expression matched his own, his fury evident. He released Nathaniel’s arm, freeing him to slug Rico in the face with an ugly crunching noise. Rico touched his nose instinctively and saw blood on his fingers. Then he snarled, about to lash out again, but Bonnie skidded across the grass like a referee ready for the count.

  She shoved Rico down with one hand and pushed at Nathaniel’s chest with the other. “Break it up!” she shouted. “Come on, guys. You don’t want to do this!”

  Kelly pulled at Nathaniel until he got off Rico and stood. He braced himself for Rico to rise and continue the fight, but Bonnie was still holding him down. Layne rushed over to help, dabbing at Rico’s bloody nose with a cheerful napkin depicting streamers and balloons.

  Layne spoke and Kelly answered, but their words were lost on him. Nathaniel was too busy huffing, staring down at Rico and resisting the urge to stomp on his face until his head was buried in the ground.

  “Come on,” Kelly said, yanking on his arm. “Let’s go.”

  Nathaniel stumbled along with him as they left the yard, walking around the house. When he saw the car, he picked up the pace. Kelly released his arm, going instead for his hand. Nathaniel knocked it away, not in the mood for tenderness.

  This didn’t please Kelly, who forced him to stop. “You know I didn’t want to kiss him, right?”

  Just the mention of it made his blood boil again. Nathaniel wanted to turn around and finish beating the hell out of Caesar. He winced and shook his head. No, not Caesar. Rico. But for a second he had seen Caesar on the grass, Rebecca holding him dow
n and trying to stop the fight. Old ghosts. When would they cease haunting him? Nathaniel wanted them to finally fucking go away. Forever. He headed for the car again.

  “I’m driving,” Kelly said from behind him. “You’re way too emotional right now.”

  Nathaniel dug in his pocket for the keys and tossed them over his shoulder. He waited by the passenger door until it unlocked, then slouched in the seat and covered his eyes with one hand. His head hurt, his temples pounding. When the car finally stopped again, they were at his apartment. He waited for Kelly to unlock the front door, then went inside and ignored Zero’s excited greeting, instead going straight into the bedroom. Once there he shut the door behind him and locked it. Then he pulled down the blinds so the room was dark and got on the bed. Curling into a ball and covering his head with a pillow, he squeezed his eyes shut and willed the images to cease.

  The restaurant parking lot. Caesar leaning toward Kelly, Bonnie leaning toward Rebecca, Rico honking the horn of a car before running Nathaniel over. He felt insane, rage still coursing through him. As the minutes ticked by, his thoughts started making sense, his anger fading. He soon missed it, since it helped disguise the pain.

  He had thought they would be safe. Two damaged soldiers, returning home scarred. He knew Kelly hadn’t wanted to hurt him, would never willingly put him through an experience like that. And yet it had happened. In a way it felt inevitable. Nathaniel had been worrying about Kelly since Cancún. His anxiety had begun there, and though he had brief reprieves, the fear remained, bubbling away in the back of his mind. What if Kelly were to fall or be attacked? What if he lost interest? What if Nathaniel failed him in some way, no matter how unintentional, and Kelly was hurt?